andereee
ooops
Mar 26, 2009
I always forget to update this.....
Well surgery has come and went....and let me just say OUCH!!!!!!!!!
I went on all the freakin posts here that pertained to the level of pain one would be in after surgery and feel I was lied to!!
For those of you who want an HONEST answer...IT FUCKING HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I cannot describe the amount of pain I was in when I woke up. Now...it may be that my case was a little different. I have had many surgeries in the past on my abdomen. My surgeon said he had to have me in the OR for over an hour over what he usually needs for a patient because he spent alot of time battleing scar tissue. My scar tissue was everywhere inside my gut so he had to cut and remove quite a bit just so he could get to the organs he needed to get to. this could be why I was in such a great amout of pain.
When I woke in the recovery room it was like being in Hell itself. I couldnt hardly breath the pain was so intense. They hooked me up to a pain pump full of Fentynl and it didnt even TOUCH the pain....and so I had to be upgraded to Diloudid....which did help a little better....however it still left me in misery. With all of the narcotics they were pumping in to me to control the pain, my resperatory system started to shut down and so I had members of the recovery room and other nursing staff slapping me around every now and then screaming at me to breath. All in all it was NOT fun. My surgery was at 7:30 AM and I was not released from the recovery room to my hospital room until around 9pm at night. IT SUCKED!!
Once in my room it was still agony. I had not idea that I would be so miserable. Each waking moment was spent fantasizing about the next time I could hit that pain button.
BUT
The pain did pass. It was horrible yes....but I made it. Every day got easier and easier. I was released still in a great deal of pain but no one every said this was going to be easy right?
Now here I am weeks later and well...it still hurts...but I can function. No I cant do everything normally yet....but im getting there and have lost perhaps 25 lbs... which is cool.
eating sucks. Everything makes me slightly sick. Right now i think i overdid it on a hike i had through the woods and am not only VERY SUPER SORE...but cant seem to eat anything solid-like as it makes me wanna puke. I am hoping I dont have a hernia.....but will deal with whatever problems as they arise.
Yes it sucked...but...no I am not sorry. It will all balance out in the end.
0 comments
Well surgery has come and went....and let me just say OUCH!!!!!!!!!
I went on all the freakin posts here that pertained to the level of pain one would be in after surgery and feel I was lied to!!
For those of you who want an HONEST answer...IT FUCKING HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I cannot describe the amount of pain I was in when I woke up. Now...it may be that my case was a little different. I have had many surgeries in the past on my abdomen. My surgeon said he had to have me in the OR for over an hour over what he usually needs for a patient because he spent alot of time battleing scar tissue. My scar tissue was everywhere inside my gut so he had to cut and remove quite a bit just so he could get to the organs he needed to get to. this could be why I was in such a great amout of pain.
When I woke in the recovery room it was like being in Hell itself. I couldnt hardly breath the pain was so intense. They hooked me up to a pain pump full of Fentynl and it didnt even TOUCH the pain....and so I had to be upgraded to Diloudid....which did help a little better....however it still left me in misery. With all of the narcotics they were pumping in to me to control the pain, my resperatory system started to shut down and so I had members of the recovery room and other nursing staff slapping me around every now and then screaming at me to breath. All in all it was NOT fun. My surgery was at 7:30 AM and I was not released from the recovery room to my hospital room until around 9pm at night. IT SUCKED!!
Once in my room it was still agony. I had not idea that I would be so miserable. Each waking moment was spent fantasizing about the next time I could hit that pain button.
BUT
The pain did pass. It was horrible yes....but I made it. Every day got easier and easier. I was released still in a great deal of pain but no one every said this was going to be easy right?
Now here I am weeks later and well...it still hurts...but I can function. No I cant do everything normally yet....but im getting there and have lost perhaps 25 lbs... which is cool.
eating sucks. Everything makes me slightly sick. Right now i think i overdid it on a hike i had through the woods and am not only VERY SUPER SORE...but cant seem to eat anything solid-like as it makes me wanna puke. I am hoping I dont have a hernia.....but will deal with whatever problems as they arise.
Yes it sucked...but...no I am not sorry. It will all balance out in the end.
Soup was invented by Satan himself.....
Feb 25, 2009
I have come to the conclusion that ....
I NOW HATE (with a passion) ALLLLLLL THINGS LIQUID!!!!
So I am on my whole liquid diet thing....and OMG...it's soooo not kewl.
You guys know the drill.....No solid food.....and my caloric intake is only 800 daily SOOOOOO that means like 4 cans of slim fast....mmmmmm.
SOooo, I decided to switch it up a bit....have some soup for dinner instead of my "meal-n-a-can" as it has now been labeled.....Soup is liquid right? AND....its low in calories....AND....you can eat it with a spoon which makes it more food-like. I had thought that If I fooled myself with soup then it would help carry me over this two week hell-fest.
I was soooo wrong....
I now realize that soup was invented by Satan himself. I think he invented it when he got ahold of Hitler or something....made a stew outta Hitler balls...i dunno..... but what I do know is that I HATE SOUP!
Ive tried the broccoli.... (Which on a side note, I WILL recommend Campbells new V8 soups. they are REALLY low in calories....have a FULL serving of veggies n other nutrients, and well, taste pretty good...for soup. AND they come in a box...which is kinda kewl. i like things in boxes.....) I've done the tomato. I had to go with what I call "chunk-free" soups so I don't have to lie and say that I didn't have anything solid....
Unfortunately, soup is still a liquid. Eating it with spoon only fools your stomach for about 1.6 seconds.....
SOOO i did cheat.... I'm not going to lie. I posted on here actually about how I am sick of people lying about their diets. To be honest, i was totally in bitch mode...and have been since the whole liquid thing started. Do I regret cheating?? NOT ONE BIT!!!!!!!!
Some of the responses to my post were awesome...others not so much. No I never intended to insinuate that EVERYONE cheats and EVERYONE lies....good gawd people get over yourselves! I know that there are lots of you out there who have amazing willpower and who are easily able to adhere to their doctors orders. HOWEVER I also know that there are LOTS who try....and i mean REALLY try...but still screw up now and then...like myself.
After reading the responses and seeing that I wont die or have my surgery cancelled if I eat a little solid food. (those of you who believe what some of your quack docs say that "they can test your blood and will know if you cheated" need to wise up. Many docs tell us this stuff to scare us straight. They can test your blood for MANY MANY things....but as someone who works in the med field...and who's last job was IN a medical lab...i can tell you that there is no "did this person eat a piece of solid food" blood test.....) I decided that I was going to do it....I was going to "get it out of my system" and eat some solid food. I had NO intentions of OVER eating...just wanted something I could chew.
So I ended up eating a little taco salad. It had ground beef, salsa, lettuce, cheese, one of those LITTLE..not full size...taco shell bowls, and some sour cream....
I TOTALLY enjoyed it....OMG it was awesome...but after living off of nothing but liquid for a week and a half....it was short lived. My body said NOOOOOOO and within 15 min I was in the bathroom praying to "Ralph" the great porcelain god.
Now, even after becoming rather violently ill...do I regret it? Not one bit. Even tho it didn't stay down (I'm pretty sure it was the sour cream.,..uhg) It still satisfied my urge to chew and to eat. It was like heaven. I was ashamed of myself for a short while...but now the guilt is gone...i flushed it all away. GO ME!
So while I would never sabotage anyone's honest efforts, I will say this. Sometimes we have to let go. Sometimes its good to fail. While what I did was totally wrong...it totally quelled my urge to eat. I am finding it LOTS easier now to adhere to the liquid diet. My sense of urgency....and well....desperation...is totally gone now. So if any of you are really struggling, try eating one last time...just DON'T overdo it. and I wouldn't recommend doing it the week of your surgery. I still have a whole week to go...i think that I will be OK though.
1 comment
I NOW HATE (with a passion) ALLLLLLL THINGS LIQUID!!!!
So I am on my whole liquid diet thing....and OMG...it's soooo not kewl.
You guys know the drill.....No solid food.....and my caloric intake is only 800 daily SOOOOOO that means like 4 cans of slim fast....mmmmmm.
SOooo, I decided to switch it up a bit....have some soup for dinner instead of my "meal-n-a-can" as it has now been labeled.....Soup is liquid right? AND....its low in calories....AND....you can eat it with a spoon which makes it more food-like. I had thought that If I fooled myself with soup then it would help carry me over this two week hell-fest.
I was soooo wrong....
I now realize that soup was invented by Satan himself. I think he invented it when he got ahold of Hitler or something....made a stew outta Hitler balls...i dunno..... but what I do know is that I HATE SOUP!
Ive tried the broccoli.... (Which on a side note, I WILL recommend Campbells new V8 soups. they are REALLY low in calories....have a FULL serving of veggies n other nutrients, and well, taste pretty good...for soup. AND they come in a box...which is kinda kewl. i like things in boxes.....) I've done the tomato. I had to go with what I call "chunk-free" soups so I don't have to lie and say that I didn't have anything solid....
Unfortunately, soup is still a liquid. Eating it with spoon only fools your stomach for about 1.6 seconds.....
SOOO i did cheat.... I'm not going to lie. I posted on here actually about how I am sick of people lying about their diets. To be honest, i was totally in bitch mode...and have been since the whole liquid thing started. Do I regret cheating?? NOT ONE BIT!!!!!!!!
Some of the responses to my post were awesome...others not so much. No I never intended to insinuate that EVERYONE cheats and EVERYONE lies....good gawd people get over yourselves! I know that there are lots of you out there who have amazing willpower and who are easily able to adhere to their doctors orders. HOWEVER I also know that there are LOTS who try....and i mean REALLY try...but still screw up now and then...like myself.
After reading the responses and seeing that I wont die or have my surgery cancelled if I eat a little solid food. (those of you who believe what some of your quack docs say that "they can test your blood and will know if you cheated" need to wise up. Many docs tell us this stuff to scare us straight. They can test your blood for MANY MANY things....but as someone who works in the med field...and who's last job was IN a medical lab...i can tell you that there is no "did this person eat a piece of solid food" blood test.....) I decided that I was going to do it....I was going to "get it out of my system" and eat some solid food. I had NO intentions of OVER eating...just wanted something I could chew.
So I ended up eating a little taco salad. It had ground beef, salsa, lettuce, cheese, one of those LITTLE..not full size...taco shell bowls, and some sour cream....
I TOTALLY enjoyed it....OMG it was awesome...but after living off of nothing but liquid for a week and a half....it was short lived. My body said NOOOOOOO and within 15 min I was in the bathroom praying to "Ralph" the great porcelain god.
Now, even after becoming rather violently ill...do I regret it? Not one bit. Even tho it didn't stay down (I'm pretty sure it was the sour cream.,..uhg) It still satisfied my urge to chew and to eat. It was like heaven. I was ashamed of myself for a short while...but now the guilt is gone...i flushed it all away. GO ME!
So while I would never sabotage anyone's honest efforts, I will say this. Sometimes we have to let go. Sometimes its good to fail. While what I did was totally wrong...it totally quelled my urge to eat. I am finding it LOTS easier now to adhere to the liquid diet. My sense of urgency....and well....desperation...is totally gone now. So if any of you are really struggling, try eating one last time...just DON'T overdo it. and I wouldn't recommend doing it the week of your surgery. I still have a whole week to go...i think that I will be OK though.
My first bloggy-type thingy.
Feb 18, 2009
I wont bore you with the dramatics or a long drawn out story of how I got here. One look at any picture of me will tell you how I got here.
I had made the decision to have WLS well over 6 years ago. There was always some sort of barrier, mostly financial, keeping me from getting the surgery. While it was HIGHLY frustrating at the time, I am thankful that it has played out as it has. If I had actually had the surgery years ago, I would have wasted a chance at a better life. Now that I know so much more about myself, I am able to see that previous attempts would have been futile. I would have screwed it all up and would NOT have been successful.
What makes me think that this time is different is the knowledge I was forced to attain about myself, my eating habits, and the effect food had on my psyche.
I am a patient of the Cleveland Clinic. I chose them because I found out that they took medicaid and did NOT charge anything above and beyond. I had tried to go through SUMMA but was told I would have to pay like 1600 out of pocket even as a medicaid patient....which sounds REALLY illegal to me, but they found a way to get around it. So while my choice in hospital and surgeon was solely based on cost, I couldn't be happier.
I had been to a zillion seminars and seen a few surgeons over the years but none of them were as involved as the Cleveland Clinic was. Now, to be honest, the hospital is Crazy-busy...I'm talking OMG HOW DO THEY GET THIS MANY PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING busy. I will be honest, the fact that they have soooo many patients does hinder them in a few ways, mostly in their ability to make you feel like a person and not a number. While some of their staff seem abrupt and cold, it is entirely made up for in skill and expertise. The hospital runs like a well oiled machine. I'm OK with sacrificing a little bedside manner to achieve superior care.
The Cleveland Clinic forced me to undergo a zillion tests and exams that, quite frankly, pissed me off. Not only did I have to undergo quite a few medical procedures, I was also forced into a few things that I wanted nothing to do with. I knew that I would have to undergo psychiatric testing as a condition of surgery, but I had no idea that the Clinic would go one step further and demand that I attend "group psychotherapy" .
I was angry and I was insulted. I did NOT want anything to do with this group thing....for Binge eating!! When one thinks of binge eating, they immediately think of the stuff yourself and then puke that brings to mind supermodels. I had no idea why I would be stuck into the same category. I walked into my first session determined that I would learn nothing and would be wasting my time.
I could not have been more wrong.
I learned that there was no magic supermodel category of binge eating and that as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was a binge eater. I learned why....my triggers...and more importantly, ways to avoid the binge. Something I thought would be the most waste of time ever turned out to be imperative to my success. Never again have I been able to view my eating habits in the same manner.
This is how its been now for quite a few things. The Cleveland Clinic demands I do something, I whine, moan and bitch, but reluctantly do it, and then find that there was solid reasoning behind everything that they have asked me to do. Because of this, I know now that my previous attempts would have failed. I feel much better armed this go around. I feel like I have a REAL chance of being successful, and most importantly, staying successful.
Blah...this is getting long....
So this is where I stand thus far. I completed everything I needed to do in order to submit to insurance for approval....and it took me a whole year! We submitted for approval....and of course was denied. I fought...screamed and yelled, and of course freaked out. I threatened lawsuits and lawyers....sad....but hey, it worked.
We then started the approval process over again....i wont bore you with the details....lets just say that I have the WORST luck where red tape is concerned. For whatever reason, this time I was approved and a surgery date was scheduled. I now know that March 3rd will be the day that my life changes forever.
Soooo here I am 2 weeks before surgery. I have an appointment on Feb 26th for my pre-op blood-work and all that other fun crap. I have to be at the hospital in the AM and will be there ALL DAY....that's gonna suck.
I have also just started my required 2 weeks of liquid diet. Lemme just state how much this sucks....no...blows.....no...it sucks AND blows. While I have lost quite a bit of weight on my own, I cant tell you how hard it is to just "give up food". I guess in the long run this will be good for me and will aid in the transition into a new lifestyle (the first few weeks after surgery is pretty much all liquid anyway) but OMG I AM A HUNGRY BITCH!
I have found that I have been REALLY hard to be around these last few days. I have become seriously agitated and easily angered. I snap at my family for no reason. I would like to say it is because of the no food thing but it may be the stress of everything. While there is nothing in the world I want more then to have this surgery, it's still extremely scary. This is a big deal and people have died. That weighs heavy in the back of my mind, because I have never been a healthy person. I have always....ALWAYS...gotten deathly ill after surgical procedures and dint heal well. The risk of death to me is VERY real...but still....it is a risk that I am willing to take in order to finally have a life.
OK imma not babble anymore tonight. Until next time.....
1 comment
I had made the decision to have WLS well over 6 years ago. There was always some sort of barrier, mostly financial, keeping me from getting the surgery. While it was HIGHLY frustrating at the time, I am thankful that it has played out as it has. If I had actually had the surgery years ago, I would have wasted a chance at a better life. Now that I know so much more about myself, I am able to see that previous attempts would have been futile. I would have screwed it all up and would NOT have been successful.
What makes me think that this time is different is the knowledge I was forced to attain about myself, my eating habits, and the effect food had on my psyche.
I am a patient of the Cleveland Clinic. I chose them because I found out that they took medicaid and did NOT charge anything above and beyond. I had tried to go through SUMMA but was told I would have to pay like 1600 out of pocket even as a medicaid patient....which sounds REALLY illegal to me, but they found a way to get around it. So while my choice in hospital and surgeon was solely based on cost, I couldn't be happier.
I had been to a zillion seminars and seen a few surgeons over the years but none of them were as involved as the Cleveland Clinic was. Now, to be honest, the hospital is Crazy-busy...I'm talking OMG HOW DO THEY GET THIS MANY PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING busy. I will be honest, the fact that they have soooo many patients does hinder them in a few ways, mostly in their ability to make you feel like a person and not a number. While some of their staff seem abrupt and cold, it is entirely made up for in skill and expertise. The hospital runs like a well oiled machine. I'm OK with sacrificing a little bedside manner to achieve superior care.
The Cleveland Clinic forced me to undergo a zillion tests and exams that, quite frankly, pissed me off. Not only did I have to undergo quite a few medical procedures, I was also forced into a few things that I wanted nothing to do with. I knew that I would have to undergo psychiatric testing as a condition of surgery, but I had no idea that the Clinic would go one step further and demand that I attend "group psychotherapy" .
I was angry and I was insulted. I did NOT want anything to do with this group thing....for Binge eating!! When one thinks of binge eating, they immediately think of the stuff yourself and then puke that brings to mind supermodels. I had no idea why I would be stuck into the same category. I walked into my first session determined that I would learn nothing and would be wasting my time.
I could not have been more wrong.
I learned that there was no magic supermodel category of binge eating and that as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was a binge eater. I learned why....my triggers...and more importantly, ways to avoid the binge. Something I thought would be the most waste of time ever turned out to be imperative to my success. Never again have I been able to view my eating habits in the same manner.
This is how its been now for quite a few things. The Cleveland Clinic demands I do something, I whine, moan and bitch, but reluctantly do it, and then find that there was solid reasoning behind everything that they have asked me to do. Because of this, I know now that my previous attempts would have failed. I feel much better armed this go around. I feel like I have a REAL chance of being successful, and most importantly, staying successful.
Blah...this is getting long....
So this is where I stand thus far. I completed everything I needed to do in order to submit to insurance for approval....and it took me a whole year! We submitted for approval....and of course was denied. I fought...screamed and yelled, and of course freaked out. I threatened lawsuits and lawyers....sad....but hey, it worked.
We then started the approval process over again....i wont bore you with the details....lets just say that I have the WORST luck where red tape is concerned. For whatever reason, this time I was approved and a surgery date was scheduled. I now know that March 3rd will be the day that my life changes forever.
Soooo here I am 2 weeks before surgery. I have an appointment on Feb 26th for my pre-op blood-work and all that other fun crap. I have to be at the hospital in the AM and will be there ALL DAY....that's gonna suck.
I have also just started my required 2 weeks of liquid diet. Lemme just state how much this sucks....no...blows.....no...it sucks AND blows. While I have lost quite a bit of weight on my own, I cant tell you how hard it is to just "give up food". I guess in the long run this will be good for me and will aid in the transition into a new lifestyle (the first few weeks after surgery is pretty much all liquid anyway) but OMG I AM A HUNGRY BITCH!
I have found that I have been REALLY hard to be around these last few days. I have become seriously agitated and easily angered. I snap at my family for no reason. I would like to say it is because of the no food thing but it may be the stress of everything. While there is nothing in the world I want more then to have this surgery, it's still extremely scary. This is a big deal and people have died. That weighs heavy in the back of my mind, because I have never been a healthy person. I have always....ALWAYS...gotten deathly ill after surgical procedures and dint heal well. The risk of death to me is VERY real...but still....it is a risk that I am willing to take in order to finally have a life.
OK imma not babble anymore tonight. Until next time.....
About Me
Ravenna, OH
Location
39.1
BMI
Surgery
03/03/2009
Surgery Date
Jul 11, 2001
Member Since
