andereee
My story is probaly like many others. I was always fat....always. From kindergarden till now...I have never ever known life to be any different. Of course school was not fun.....high school being probably THE most traumatic 4 years EVER....well...at least consecutively! My childhood was wasted and I am left with nothing but bad memories.
Adulthood didnt exactly prove to be any easier. It turns out that many adults are just as shallow and hurtful as the assinine little gradeschoolers. College was just an extension of high school, and therefore not fun. I did the self loathing bit...the suicide bit...and made it out ok.....just a little scarred, and sometimes lacking in the "seeing the good in people" department.
Somewhere along the line, I did manage to get a few things right. I fell in love....and while the relationship did not last, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter. Her father and I are still in contact, but we have both since married and moved on with our lives, always left to wonder what "might have been". My daughter, who is now 13, has had to live her entire life with a mommy who just couldnt be like all the other moms. She has suffered and gone without certain things because I could not physically be there for her. She is a beautiful soul, and has never complained about the things she has missed out on. She has loved me unconditionally, even knowing that the other mothers provided and did far more with their children then she ever recieved. For this, she deserves far better then I have ever been able to provide. My decision to have surgery was mostly due to my NEED to provide a better life for my child.
I did manage to find and marry a man who loves me for....ME. He was not repulsed by my 400+ body and has stuck with me during all of my ups and downs. I know that I will be able to count on him for love and support no matter what size I may be, and that is one of the most comforting things that has kept me going.
