Alexx
All my life I have done the things I flt I needed to survive. The things I needed to do to endure the pains of my life. It was instilled and beaten into me as a child (and sometimes still) that the only thing i am is fat and stupid, and thats all that mattered to them. Inevitably it became all that I saw. I never judge people by how much they weigh or what kindof clothes they wear, but I did to myself, with extreme prejudice.
I sufferend mental breakdowns and was institutionalized for being suicidal all before I was 20 years old. My only social contanct has been people online due to my weight and social anxiety and depression. I haven't had a job and I dropped out of highschool just to survive and as a cry for help, but in the end no one came and I missed out on an education that I need.
Fell in love and loved in return. It gave me strength and hope to do things I needed to do and have been on a mission to achieve. In the end, that love that gave me hope and strength changed and was no longer what it was, leaving me as I am now. Alone, friendless and with a gaping hole in front of me which had been my dream for 2 years. I don't know what to do now, only what I feel I should such as lose weight and try to get an education and overcome my fears and weakness..
Ill brush this uup the next chance I get.
