ajordan

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I have decided to base my goal weight on body fat percentage, not BMI.  To get to a BMI of 24.9, I would be 145 lb and approximately 15% body fat - um, no.  That would be on the low end of "Athlete" LOL.  So, to be more realistic about what is best for my body and sanity, I am choosing to go by Fat %.  I bought a good body composition analyzer so I am as accurate as possible.

Here goes:

Current wt:  184
Current fat %: 31.1%
Current lean body mass:  127 lb
Current fat mass:  58 lb

Desired fat %:  24% (top of "fitness" level)

Current lean body mass / (1-desired fat mass) = Goal weight

127 / (1-0.24) = 167 lb  I think I can get to this number.  145?? Puleeze!

Well, slow and steady wins the race, right?  Soooo slow, but I am seeing a lot of changes in body shape with all the exercise.  I have been doing BodyPump 2x/wk and cardio 4x/wk for the last few months.  I haven't lost a lot more weight, but all of a sudden people are making comments.  I guess my body is catching up with the numbers.  I had a massage yesterday and the therapist said she would never guess I had the surgery because I have a lot of muscle mass and not a lot of loose skin - she wasn't looking at my stomach or arms at the time - LOL.  She said most people have lots of skin and not much muscle - she described it as a bag of bones.  That made me feel better.

I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will probably only lose about 70-75 pounds total.  I know that I have a huge frame and lots of muscle mass, but I still have this fantasy of seeing 125 on the scale.  My fat% has gone from around 50 down to 31.6% today.  If I got to 125 I'd have no body fat or I'd have to lose muscle.  I am trying to make a big push to get to 170 for my 1 year - 2 months to lose 15 more pounds.  At the rate I am going I'll never make it, but I am trying to step it up and really watch the calories.  It is very easy for me to eat 1500+ calories - I really don't know how people have trouble eating even 1000 calories.  At least I don't get hungry! 

Bye for now -

Well, I haven't written in quite a while so I thought it was time.  My weight loss is now at 55 pounds with 20 more to get to my surgeon's goal.  Anything beyond that would be great, but if I never lose another pound I will be happy.  My weight loss slowed after the first 2 months to about 5 pounds a month, then 1/2 pound, then 0.  I lost 45 pounds pretty quickly and the last 10 pounds has been a struggle.  I refuse to eat like a starving refugee and I am sure that is part of the slow loss.  I have done the deprivation thing before and flat out refuse to do it again.  That is a recipe for regain for me.  So that being said, this is the easiest 55 pounds I have ever lost.  Never hungry, not obsessed with wanting sugar or more than one cookie is such a relief.  It is also still sinking in that this is a permanent change - my guts will always be like this.  It isn't a race, and I have to do the weight loss in a way that I am comfortable.  I keep having to tell myself that this is for life, and I am not on a 6 month program of some kind.

I have decided to focus on NSV's rather than just the numbers.  I can run 3 miles on the treadmill, keep up with a YMCA step workout, my sex life has improved quite a bit (the marriage is better than ever) and I feel good in my clothes.  I have stepped up the exercise and my goal is to get the $20 BCBS reimbursement every month (12 visits/mo).  I joined WW last week just to keep me focused and it has been very helpful.  I always struggled with WW because I was always hungry with only 24 points to use.  If I used extra points or counted activity points my losses were so slow that I would get discouraged.  One bad day could wipe out a week of efforts.  My average points this week was 28.5 - I didn't even use up all my 35 weekly points.  So much easier to stick to when I am not hungry or craving things.  I lost 3.8 pounds this week - more than the last 3 months combined, so I am encouraged and think I will make 170 with no problem.

There have been struggles along the way - it hasn't all been roses.  The barfing when things get stuck really sucks, and is always my own damn fault.  It usually happens at a restaurant because I eat too fast or don't chew well enough.  Barfing in a public stall is humbling to say the least.  I dump a little but I pretty much know my limits.  My bloodwork was excellent at 6 months and I am off my bp meds.  I am down to 1/2 a dose on the cholesterol meds and my total cholesterol is 160 - never ever has it been that low.  I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to have this surgery and I would do this again in a heartbeat!

Finally, finally finally!  199 this morning!

I had my lipids, iron, glucose and A1C checked by my PCP today, as well as my weight and BP.

Drumroll please..........

Cholesterol:        131!!!  It was 275 in September and with meds got down to 202 in March.
Glucose:    95  It had been around 108
A1C: 5.3
Iron:  13

Triglicerides:  114 (had been close to 200)
LDL:  77 (had been 130 to 200)
HDL;  32 (went down from 45)

HDL was the only item that was not in desired ranges.  Not sure why it would go down other than my diet is mostly protein so maybe the lack of fiber?  I need to explore that.

My cholesterol has never been below 190 - I am so happy!  I don't know if they will change the meds, but that's ok with me.

BP:  120/80.  I am on a very small dose of Atenolol, so I think they will take me off it.

Yay me!

Well, it has been 2 months since surgery.  I have lost 27 pounds (34.5 since 10 day LD) and 34 inches!  I can't remember the last time I lost 27 pounds in 2 months.  It is a little slower than others, but I am happy with it.  I have been traveling so much for work (4 of the last 6 weeks) that making appropriate food choices has been quite a challenge.  I also have had a hard time fitting in exercise.

I have discovered that the only thing I appear to dump on is sweetened milk products, like ice cream, regular yogurt, even no sugar added ice cream products.  I can eat candy, cake, crackers, etc without any trouble but eat some ice cream and watch out.  I had my worst dumping episode ever a few days ago when I ate some Breyers yogurt with about a tablespoon of butterfinger mixed in.  I was driving home from IL and had to pull over, get out and dry heave in the ditch.  I was fine 30 minutes later, but when I looked at the container, it had 28 g of sugar - duh!

I am also discovering that chicken requires a healthy respect and plenty of chewing or it gets stuck.  I have only had to reverse flow (throw up) twice because of food getting stuck, but one of the times was at Applebees.  How unpleasant!

All in all I am very happy with the surgery, but I still have to get used to getting nauseated regularly.  That is a new feeling for me, but I will figure it out.

Wow, does time ever fly!  I can't believe I am already going back to work tomorrow.  I was going to take off until monday, but since my company is kind of shaky right now and my boss and my bosses boss as well as 10 others have been laid off, I want to get as much $$$ in the bank as possible.  It has been two weeks and other than a nasty barf bug I got a couple days ago, I feel really good.  The bug set me back a couple days on my eating (went back to liquids) but that's ok.

So since I have been home I have gotten a little discombobulated - this happened with each one of my maternity leaves as well.  I have been actually counting the days until coffee get togethers and support group nights, as I am a little lonely for WLS companionship and out of sorts and feel like I need more support than ever with this new territory I am entering. 

My step sister, who I have had my share of difficulty with - let's just say she is immature, flaky and very self involved - blew me off once again this evening.  She lived a mile from me up until last summer when her husband took a job in Michigan.  I always thought she was so fun and was so excited to have her move so close to me.  Well, that was a huge disappointment and basically didn't work out the way I envisioned - I guess I don't meet the criteria for people she wants to hang out with. 

Once she moved away I finally dealt with it and at Christmas we made nice.  I then sent her an e-mail spilling my guts to her and letting her know how I have felt the last 5 years.  No reponse.  Well, she is back for Easter and called a week ago to invite us to the hotel in town where they were staying to go swimming tonight.  I was a little bummed because I really wanted to go to support group.  Long story short, I called her at 6 to see if we should come over and surprise surprise I get "Oh, I forgot to call you!  We had a change in plans and are staying at my friends house!  Sorry!"  GRRRRRR.  Of course now it is too late to go to support group.  Why oh why do I even try with her?  From now on I will be pleasant but tell her we have other plans no matter what the occasion.  I am so done with letting her do this to me and what really bothers me the most is that I gave up a support group night that I REALLY needed for NOTHING.

Sorry for the whining.  I needed that.  I can't believe that I get teary eyed reading this back to myself.  I guess the wounds are still a little fresh...

On a positive note I have lost 24 pounds and my clothes are already getting loose on me!

I am now 4 days post-op and feeling pretty good.  For all you pre-ops that are reading profiles like crazy to find out what it is like, it is really not that bad. 

Surgery was at 12:30 pm on Thursday, 3/26/09.
The hospital called and asked if I could be there at 10:15 because they were ahead of schedule.  Packed up the kids, ran them over to grandma's and headed to the hospital.  Got there at 10, checked in and they sent me to the lab to draw blood.

Back to check in, then escorted upstairs to pre-op.  Put on a gown and booties.  Anesthesiologist came in and talked with me for a bit and I asked for versed before surgery because I didn't want to have to walk into the OR fully aware.
They swabbed my nose for MSRA, took vitals, started an IV, gave me a shot of heparin (to prevent blood clots).  Then my husband was brought in.

We waited a little bit and then the nurse anesthetist came, put me on a gurney, gave me the versed and 50 seconds later I was happy as could be.  I remember saying goodby to hubby and being wheeled into the OR, arms strapped down and face mask and that was it.

Woke up in recovery with a little nausea and dry throat and mouth.  They gave me something for the nausea and I drifted in and out.  After 2 hours they brought me up to my room where I zonked for another 2 hours.  Then I began to wake up and within an hour I was fully awake.  I had those compression boots on my legs, an IV & pole, a finger oxygen monitor and felt so trapped!  They took all that off and I got up and did some walking.

The first evening was pretty restless.  My back really hurt and my front hurt all along my rib cage, like I had a stitch in my side but all across.  They scored me a heating pad which made a huge difference and I was able to get some sleep.

They came in I swear every hour to roust me - vitals, heparin shots, etc.  I had to get up and pee 3 or 4 times and each time I had to turn on the light, unplug the IV monitor, untangle all the cords from the heating pad, IV, call button thingy, etc. and then do it all in reverse to get back into bed.  Thank god they forgot to put the compression boots on my for the night!  Maybe because I was getting up so much they took pity on me.

The next day was much better.  Back still hurt but the heating pad helped.  The gas started to break up (I also chewed on some gas-x which helped) and both my back and front started to feel better.  My surgeon came to visit and told me that I really wanted to I could go home that day - um NO.  I have two small children and wasn't ready for that!  The second night was better - not quite so many interruptions and thank goodness I didn't have an IV cord anymore.

On Saturday the dr on call came around, pulled the drain (OMG that was freaky and not in a pleasant way!) and told me I could go home.  I was ready to get the H outta there.  The ride home was nauseating with all the bumps in the road.  I have napped a lot, and the pain is getting better all the time.  I am still on clears and go in for my post op visit with my nurse tomorrow.  She will advance me to full liquids!  Yahoo!  I never thought yogurt and tomato soup would excite me this much!

When I got home from the hospital I got on the scale - UP 7 pounds!  I know it is fluid, but STILL.  Today I am down 1/2 pound from surgery morning, so everything from here on out is gravy.  Mmmm, gravy.

All in all, everything went great.  Surgery is never fun and without fear, but it is what you have to do to get to the other side.  I had to have my gallbladder out as well, so I figured I might as well get it done now rather than wait until I have an attack.  I had to go under either way.  I had a surgeon who was extremely well regarded and who had done thousands of these procedures, so that helped my anxiety level.

So now I start my journey on the "other side"!

Well, I am 7/10 of the way done with the liquid diet.  I have lost a grand total of 5 pounds and I have not cheated once.  Not once.  Not even one nibble of nothin'.  5 pounds is all I get for that?  I think I need this surgery, because I don't think I would have the patience to lose this weight without it.  If this liquid diet wasn't a requirement, I never would have stayed on it this long!  I actually am not really hungry and don't miss food any longer, but I know this isn't something I could do to lose weight for months on end.

4 more days til surgery!!!  Taylor has strep throat and Alex and Alivia have both swapped spit with him in one way or another, so I am really hoping against all odds that no one else gets it.  If I get strep and can't have surgery on thursday, I am going to blow a gasket!!@!!  I just keep using the antibacterial stuff and try not to get too close to anyone!