abemmaco4
Time for an update - 4/22/10
Apr 22, 2010
Today is my birthday! Hard to believe I weighed 7 lbs 15 ozs at one time. Even harder to believe the changes in my life in the last 4 1/2 years. Most of my journey has been just wonderful and motivating. Some have been learning how to live a different life in a different body.The "good" parts of my journey are:
. I lost 150 lbs.
. I'm no longer diabetic and my BP and cholesterol are normal.
. I was able to discontinue 8 medications, including 100+ units of insulin a day.
. I don't snore anymore.
. My looks have changed so much that some of my best friends don't recognize me.
. I had several reconstructive surgeries and with each one my self-esteem has been boosted.
. For the first time EVER I can shop in the normal sizes and can wear sizes 9-10 most of the time.
. My opinion of plastic surgery being for vain people has changed. I now view it as a necessity for someone who loses so much weight.
. Being responsible enough to fight through the demons to be able to have my WLS.
. I haven't heard the comments "but you are so clean" or "you have such a beautiful face" - better to say nothing at all, folks!
. That my 5 grandchildren don't remember me fat. It's been great to hold them on my lap.
. That for the first time in years I feel like my sons and husband can be proud of me in public and not embarrassed.
. I went to my 40 year reunion as the person (again) who has changed the most......only this time I was among the smallest in my class!
The "not so good" parts of my journey are:
. I've gained 25 lbs back.
. I have learned that GB is just a tool and not a full ride ticket to a smaller life forever.
. I have learned to accept compliments and to truly believe they are compliments.
. I've enjoyed the second glances from men and how they open the door for me, talk to me on the elevators, and look at me as I see them look at thinner, younger women.
. I've realized that I am an addict and an emotional/stress eater. I wish I could find the answer for those.
. I realize this is a life-long battle and that I still can't take "diet" out of my vocabulary.
. I know now who are my true friends and who are not.
. This one blows me away......I found out that some people become so jealous of the attention I get that they have my life miserable at work and on-line.
. That life goes on - still have family and personal difficulties. That people still live and die.
. When my new clothes won't button.
As I write this today, this will be the last time I can say "I'm in my 50's". I don't feel 59 and I can't imagine turning 60 in 2011. The good part is that we are retiring in 2011 and I can't wait.
Looking into the future, I feel I'm supposed to "do" something with my weight loss adventure. I love to speak to groups and tell my story. That would be something that I would love to do. God has led me thus far.
The last 4 1/2 years have been interesting to live but looking back I've climbed many mountains and that some medications that I got to quit, I've had to add new ones to maintain. Including the actual GB surgery 12/15/05, I've had 7 surgeries in 4 1/2 years. I've lost my brother and mother to deaths, 2 of my biggest supporters of WLS. I've learned how to handle flirting but haven't figured out how to handle snide remarks about my weight loss. I've begun having anxiety attacks which now I take Lexapro for. I've had more stressful experiences that I have my little yellow pills for and take to keep me acting "normal". I know that God's hand has been in my every mood and experience in the last years and that there is a reason for all of it. Some of the reasons I see unfold in front of me, some I'm still waiting to see "why". Not once have I regretted the physical transformation - would do ALL of it again tomorrow if necessary. Since I've gained some of my weight back I worry about failing again. If I dwell on it I get depressed. I have failed at weight loss my whole life - please God, don't let me fail at this one!
Thanks to whoever who added a place to "journal" our feelings. Even if no one reads this, I feel like I've expresssed something that I needed to. I hope all on OH website reach their goals and live a healthier, happier life.
........Vicki
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About Me
McKinney, TX
Location
25.0
BMI
Surgery
12/15/2005
Surgery Date
Jan 17, 2008
Member Since
