Jessica, No, you don't sound crazy, you sound like a normal person, worrying about your mortality, which is what we all do when we face uncertainty. There is a risk to this surgery, and unless you can face it and accept it, you would be crazy. Only you can decide, and it's tough, I've been there, but I can tell you that it's safer having the surgery before you develop all the comorbidities associated with being obese, and knowing the risks, you can come out of surgery doing all the right things to avoid blood clots (deep breathing exercises immediately, walking immediately, drinking as much water as you can as soon as you are allowed.) Even with all of this, there is still the risk, but it is low and only you can decide if it is low enough for your comfort level. Good luck to you. {{{HUGS}}}