T. Young

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So I went out of town last week. I was a little nervous because I had to attend a convention in Chicago.

Usually, I eat like crazy at conventions. This time I had to exercise self control. I was a little frustrated because there are only so many things that agree with me.

But I managed. I only dumped once, that's when I tried to eat a fruit and nut bagel. Bad idea. I felt sick after the first two bites.

I also must remember to eat slowly. Sometimes I just want to inhale. That's the old way of eating and that just doesn't work.

I enjoyed Chicago. It is a very beautiful city. I can't wait to go back.

I'm still losing weight. I refuse to get on a scale. My next doctor's appoint ment is in September.

So, I 've lost 31 pounds in six weeks. I guess I'm happy. I'd thought I would have lost a little more. I weigh 246, before surgery I weighed 277.

I'm not complaining. I'm just anxious. The good news is that I feel comfortable in my clothes.

Stuff is lose. Not so tight, and that's great.

My doctor told me that my surgery scars have healed well. He's also happy with the progress I've made with weight loss.

So I'm going to the doctor's office tomorrow for my 6 week check up.  I'm a little nervous about getting on the scale.

The weight is falling off, but I don't know how much I've actually lost. Every body is different. Before surgery, I weighed 277 pounds.

After surgery, at my three week check up, I weighed 255. That was a month ago.

So, we'll see.

I've been going to the gym pretty much every day. I'm really hitting my stride in spinning class. I need to lift weights more. But I need to give myself a break, too.

I just had major surgery. It's kind of hard to believe that though. I don't really think about the surgery that much. The procedure was virtually a breeze. I know it's not like that for everyone. And just thankful that I didn't have any major complications after surgery, though I did have a minor case of pneumonia.

So I went to a lab and gave a vial of blood today. It wasn't so bad. I was nervous. I hate needles. But the guy who drew my blood was a pro! I felt I slight prick and it was over!

I'm looking forward to going to the doctor for my six week check up next week! I haven't weighed myself since going to the doctor's office. I don't want to be obssessive. But I am obssessing. I must admit. I want to lose weight faster. But I know that is unrealistic!

I have to get bloodwork done tomorrow before my six week check up next week. I'm a little nervous. I hope that I'm doing well and that I'm not too deficient on anything.

I felt really tired today. But I think that's because I'm pushing myself at the gym. I really want to lose weight. And from everything that I have read, it appears most people lose a lot of weight within the first six months.

Another reason why I'm nervous about bloodwork is because I'm still not over the number of times I was stuck with needles before and after surgery. Ouch.

But I guess this is a small price to pay stay healthy.

I hope all my friends on OH are doing well.

So July 4 was a little frustrating. I ate three olives and immediately threw them up. Yuck.

I had slivers of a BBQ'd beef rib and felt nauseous. Me and "real food" just don't agree.

Stuff that agrees with me: lentil soup, cantaloupe, watermelon, cottage cheese, cheese, smoothies and oatmeal.

So, I'm back into the swing of all things. I'm really happy. I was telling a co-worker on yesterday that I can't believe how "easy" my recovery has been.

It's hard to believe that a month ago today I had surgery! I'm feeling no pain. I'm adjusting to eating differently. Meat, at this point, is not agreeing with me.

I'm eating a lot of soups, watermelon and cantaloupe. I'm also a fan of cottage cheese.

I'm going to the gym on a regular basis. My energy level has increased. And I've lost 25 pounds.

I would tell anyone who is tired of living an out-of-control life to get this surgery. It has helped me so much.

After work last night, I had some cantaloupe and cottage cheese and was satisfied. In the past, I would have had to have eaten everything in my cupboard to feel full.

I'm so happy. But I'm also a little nervous. I want to do well. I don't want to mess up.

Everyone is happy to have me back at work. I'm very glad to be back. I was a little nervous aobut my stamina, but things are really going well.

I have nothing to complain about.  But I really need to start drinking more water. All I have wanted to eat this week has been lentil soup, cantaloupe and cottage cheese. Not a good mix.

I need to change things up a bit.

I've joined facebook. It's a wonderful place to hang out in cyberspace.  It really helps you connect with old friends, while ObesityHelp.com helps you find new friends.

I work nights so I'm a little worried about today.  Since the surgery, I usually pass out about 9 p.m. I've been getting up these days about 5:30 a.m. I'm thinking that this will change this week!

I'm going to the gym this morning. I'm taking a body pump class, the whole idea behind the class is to get toned. On tomorrow, I'll be back at the gym taking a spinning class. The whole idea behind that class is to drop pounds, fast.

I'm drinking a protein shake for breakfast. I added banana, strawberries and mango to the base of the drink. I have to say it doesn't  taste much better.

I have found a soup I like. It's the lentil soup by Progresso. It's filling and yummy. After I leave the gym I'm going to go and stock up on it.

Now back to the work thing. I'm excited. It's like the first day of school.

Wish me luck. I'll report on all the day's happenings later tonight.

I don't know if any one else is going through this, but my mother really didn't support me through my surgery process.

She was more concerned about my dying and wondering if i had life insurance than really caring about me.

She also considers gastric bypass surgery as cosmetic surgery!

She lives in another state. While she did come to Texas for my surgery, she insisted on bringing her new boyfriend. I'd never met this guy and I didn't want him to be apart of this experience. She was upset about this and told me that her boyfriend was hurt that I didn't want him at the hospital!

I don't have to tell y'all how personal, trying and emotional the days before surgery can be. It was all those things for me, compounded by the fact that she made those days before my surgery about herself and her boyfriend!

Because I'm gay, she refused to stay at my home with my life partner of 4 years. This really hurt. Instead, she chose stay at an extended stay hotel with this strange man.

My girlfriend and my brother turned out to be my rocks before and after surgery. It's because of them that I'm doing soo well. I was never alone. They were in the hospital room with me at all times.  When I couldn't wipe my ass, my girlfriend wiped it for me. When I couldn't bath myself, my girlfriend bathed me.  These were things I thought my mother would have helped with.

My mother has never had a weight problem in her life. For many years, I think she's blamed me for eating my way into the condition I was in before surgery.

She opted to leave before I was discharged from the hospital because it was taking too long for the doctor to review my charts and tests.

Needless to say, I'm very upset with her. She called me last  week  and asked for forgiveness. Mind you, I'd been through the worst of it by then. I was no longer suffering with pain.

I wanted to know what she was apologizing for. I really, really did. But I didn't call because I knew it would lead to a big argument. And the last thing I needed during recovery was to get upset over something.

I haven't returned her call. I'm not sure talking to her would be the best thing for me to do at this point. I'm still hurting over how she treated me.

She wouldn't even spend time with me before the surgery. The day before my surgery, I called her and asked if we could get together for some mother and daughter time, alone.  She told me her priority was her boyfriend! So I'm wondering why did she even come?

I'm going to get counseling. This whole thing is eating me up inside. When I'm upset I eat. I don't have the stomach for that anymore, so I guess I'm going to have to figure out another way to cope.