going down?

Jun 07, 2011

Well, today I hit 226......officially 71 pounds lost (43 prior to surgery, 28 post surgery). I am so excited to see the scale reflect loss. I am eating more solid foods, less liquid protein, which I like. But I now see when I am stressed, things do not go down well and I revert to liquid protein. I am "quick" (or at least try) to pick up when things do not agree or go down well....I want to avoid vomiting at all costs......I had a few weeks in there where I was throwing up every other day.....oh, I forgot when I eat too fast!!! It is hard for me to put that spoon or fork down and eat slow. I was always a fast eater. Not good. One of my favorite foods, fish, is one that does not go down well unless very, very moist. Haven't figured out what sause will work well with fish? Tried poaching it in milk (I like Haddock, Pollock, Hake - all white fishes) but that does not always make it moist.
I had a stall for a week and now I am moving again. I need to be sure to incorporate carbs with my protein. That seems to "fuel" my metabolism. Been slacking on the exercise this week. Our son graduated high school this past weekend and we had a family party on Saturday. Found out I could eat cake (although I ate mostly icing) and ice cream. No dumping. ~sigh~ was sorta hoping I would. Maybe I ate such small quantities (yeah, right!) that I didn't challenge the digestive track enough?! I won't do it again because I do not want to experience it. I had gall bladder surgery 10 years ago and certain foods still trigger dumping for me (fats, mostly) so I do know how it feels.

I am just happy that I am doing so well. I get my protein and fluids in daily and I know that I need to stay the course. I have 71 pounds to lose and I am ok with how this progresses. I am committed to measuring my foods, eating foods that are appropriate, etc. I am making this my lifelong approach to eating. I do stop when I begin emotional eating and say, "do I really need or want this?" And if I cannot answer yes, right now, I have the will power to walk away. Besides, for me, it was and is about quantity. I cannot eat as much or as fast as I want with out severe repercussions (i.e. vomiting, pain) and since I do not want to experience it, I do not do it......I like and need that as my deterrent, sorry to say that but it is the truth. Having gastric bypass was my "tether" to be sure I would not go "over the edge" ever again. Can I ruin this? Sure. Can I abuse it to the point I could eat the quantities and as fast as I want? Sure. But now I have that stop-gap that forces me to step back and assess, instead of bulling through. I needed that and now have that and I am grateful for it!!

Just in a good place. I know it will not always be like this but for right now, I will enjoy it!

0 Comments