wildcat
I'm 24yrs old, I've been married for five years this April and I have a 3yr old son. I'm sick of being fat. I'm tired of being tired. And I really need some help. I've never been "not fat". I've struggle with and been ashamed of my weight my whole life. Diets don't work and exercise loses its control over my desire of losing weight because it never seems to take off fast enough for me to notice a real difference. I can't function at the level a woman my age should, especially with a young child who needs a mother to keep up with him. I'm scared that my life will start to fall apart because I can't get the outside of me to look like the skinny inside I know is there. I don't want to turn thirty, be over 300lbs. and think back on how I could have changed my life sooner!
4/9/06
I've made an appt. for 6/19/06 with a WLS friendly PCP. She was recommended by a co-worker who has had WLS. The doctor herself has had WLS. So I think I have a pretty good chance of starting the process off on a good foot. Wish me luck!
4/24/06
Feeling miserable and anxious! My appt. is little under two months away and I feel like I can't wait. I'm starting to get depressed because I feel like this process is never going to happen to me. I keep reading every post-op profile and seeing everyone's before and after pics and I want to cry. It's like a tease of what I want so badly but will never have. I think I'll stay away from OH until my appt. so that it won't have a reverse affect on me. Sorry to all LOSERS... I'm really not a hater! Just having some trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
7/13/06
I went to see my PCP. First off, let me say that even before starting this process, I already had some drama. I hope it's not an indication of things to come. Anyway, I ended up seeing an affiliate of the original doctor I was supposed to go see. She was pretty nice, a little brisk, but all in all OK. I told her about my constant heartburn, my aching knees and hips. She concluded that indeed it was because of my weight. She asked me what I have done to lose the weight. I told her the regular stuff, like pills, exercise, Atkins, etc. She asked me had I ever done Weight Watchers, and I was truthful and said no, that it was an expense that I could not afford. She urged me to try and do it. She also sent for bloodwork and urine sample. I have no clue why she did. I'm assuming she wants to know if my cholestrol is high or if I have diabetes. She said they give me a call with the results. So know there's really nothing I can do but wait. After all, isn't that what I do best? ;)
08/25/06
So here's what's going on! It's been over a month that I went to see my PCP. I didn't try Weight Watchers for three reasons. First of all, my financial situation right now is not allowing enough money to buy the essentials (gas,food?) so I really can't send it on a weight loss program that I know I will not be able to follow through. Which is actually my second reason, I know it won't work for me, otherwise when I did have money I would have already tried it. My third reason being, even if I had the money, and the will power, I don't have time. My work schedule is so varied, that I don't have the time or energy to prepare the kinds of foods I need to be eating as well as thoughs for my family. So, I opted for I different plan. I started using Lecithin pills. I must tell you that all though they initially worked I have hit a plateau not even a month out. They have curbed my appetite so that I actually only eat half of what I would usually eat, which is amazing to me(And they make you regular) even when you don't take them. I initially lost 6lbs and then gained 2lbs, but I've maintained the 4 remaining lbs. When you're 274, that may not sound like alot, but every little bit helps. I've also scheduled an appt. with my PCP for tomorrow to get a referral. I want to tell her that I have decided to go forward with pursuing WLS. I'm scared, scratch that, terrified that she won't refer me. I already call my past physicians to have my med records sent to her, so that she sees that I have really put on 100 lbs in 6 years. That's a lot of weight to have gained in so little time. Hopefully, she will see that and have mercy on this poor fat soul. Pray for me and wish me luck!
08/26/06
I went to my PCP today, and I could not be any happier. She didn't say one negative thing or try to dissuade me from pursuing the surgery. I was shocked at first, but it quickly turn into enthusiasm. Now I can call the surgeon I've picked and schedule an appt. I'm so happy and thrill. I know some of you my think it's dumb to get excited about a referral but I think it's a big thing. Without that referral my insurance won't pay for the visit to the surgeon, and then wouldn't pay for my surgery. I can't wait to call the surgeon's office Monday to make an appt. I'm more then ready to get this ball rolling.
08/30/06
I called Dr. Bertha's office today wanting to schedule an appt. for a consultation but quickly discovered it wasn't as easy as that. The receptionist said that it was mandatory to attend a seminar held once a month by the doctor. The next seminar isn't until Sept. 28th. I was a little miffed , as you all know patiences is not one of my virtues. So know I'm waiting. I think I should get a medal after all of this!
09/13/06
So I'm stilling waiting. Just over two more weeks to go for my seminar. I'm excited and nervous. So afraid this won't happen for me. That's such an awful feeling. Anyway, last Thursday I started feeing really sick to my stomach and had serious pains in my chest after eating lunch, to the point where I think I'm dying. I go home, dry heave my brains out, miss work Friday and go to Dr. She saids it's gastritis and tells me to drink maloxx as she walks in the door without lifting her head up out of my chart and gives me a script for an upper GI series. So, that's what my morning consisted of today. The chalk was gross. I hope I'm OK. I don't want any complications going into this.
Tomorrow my co-workers and I are going for a free introductory bellydancing class. I'm excited about that, I haven't had a good laugh in the past six hours!; )
9/20/06
So, I went to my belly dancing class and .... it was awesome! I had a blast and so did my co workers. We all decided to join permanently. My instructor is very eccentric and very much into her pagan gypsy lifestyle. I loved her. I can't wait til the next class. I decided that this will be my main focus of exercise, so that when I have surgery (being positive) it will already be a habit and help me lose even more weight. I would definitely recommend doing these classes to those people who are like me and don't like to exercise. You don't even notice your sweating because your having so much fun.
9/30/06
I went to Dr. Abkin and Dr. Bertha's seminar on Thursday and it was everytning I expected it to be. Very informational, but I already knew alot of what they said because of my research. If I wasn't convinced before (which I was) I would definitely be after that. Josephine, their insurance shark, was great. The lady knows what shes doing. NJ Plus is a go, which I'm estatic about. I made an appt. with Dr. Abkin for the 26th of October. The only down side is that they prefer that you go to their nut/psych doctors and they don't accept ins. so you have to pay $275 out of pocket. My money sit. right now is not at all accommadating to that sum, so that right now is my only obstacle.
10/13/06
I've scheduled a psych eval. and nut consult with in-network docs. The psych is 10/28 and the nut consult is 11/15. Everything is going so fast I'm in shock. I feel kind of guilty because up to now it has been so easy for me, and I know how difficult it is and has been for others who are more morbidly obese then I who have such a hard time.To all those hopeful LOSERS... Keep your head up and never quit, God helps those who help themselves. Believe in Him and in yourselves.
10/25/06
Tomorrow is my first consultation with Dr. Abkin. I'm so excited and scared at the same time. I have all my paperwork in order, I meet the requirements to have the surgery, and my ins. co. pays for the surgery if it's deemed med. necessary, but I still have that fear that the doctor will say no or that the insurance will deny me. Ahh... I think too much. Wish me luck, and good luck to those who are leading and following on the same path!
11/16/06
I HAVE A DATE!
Well, I went to see Dr. Abkin. He was wonderful and so cute. I wanted to pinch his cheeks. Anyway, he said I was a perfect candidate because although I do have problems stemmed from my obesity, I'm heathly and young enough to make a fast recovery and lose all of my excess weight. I am so excited he said that. I also went for my psych evaluation and the nut and passed both those with flying colors. I am scheduled for surgery on Jan. 9th with my pre-op on Dec. 14th. All I have to do is wait for the insurance's approval and it's all a go! I am over the moon right now. I really didn't expect for all of this to go so smoothly. And I hope I'm not speaking too soon. I would hate to be denied by my insurance especially since I have alot of co-workers who have been approved. Wish me luck!
12/19/06
I'M APPROVED! I just found out this morning. Finally, there's nothing that can stop this from happening to me, except me. It's such a relief! I had a little drama a couple weeks ago with a letter from my PCP missing from my file. I just got that in last Thursday and they've already submitted and approved. That was really quick. I'm nervous now. I thought that it was gonna take a couple of weeks, maybe even hold up my surgery. But thank God that wasn't the case. Now I'm good to go. Wish me luck!
07/27/08
Wow, it's been awhile! Well, I had my surgery on 1/9/07 and I can tell you it's been great. I've only had two complications which were totally my fault. Two months after my surgery I had one small piece of chicken from the chinese place. I had had chicken before (not from there) and I had no problem with it so I decided to try it. Yeah, bad idea! It turned out to be too greasy (it didn't look like it to me) and it irritated my gallbladder. BAD PAIN don't try it, take my word for it. My second complication came on my seventh month. I went for my six month checkup and my calcium levels were a little low so the doctor told me to up my intake. Well I guess I uped it too much and mal-absorbed it, because I ended up with kidney stones. VERY BAD PAIN! I wanted to die. Morphin became my best friend for the week.
Right now I weigh 169. I feel awesome. I feel healthy. I exercise. Zumba classes are the best. I have energy to play with my kid, which is what I wanted the most. Lane Bryant is a thing to the past. I can eat almost everything now, including bread which I couldn't for more than a year. Life is great, it's how it's supposed to be!
