whill712

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I haven't posted any thoughts since right after my surgery. I was pretty depressed dealing with the loss of food. This, for me, was like mourning the loss of a family member or close friend. I always used food as a way of coping with things. Now, I eat to live, not live to eat and it feels so good. I am almost 4 months from my surgery and I have lost 60 pounds. Who would have thought? This surgery has changed my life in a way that nobody that hasn't been here could ever imagine. I am so happy that I made this decision and that I stuck with it.

I am now 2 days post-op. I am having a lot of different feelings right now. Deep down inside, I am mourning the loss of food. My stomach feels hungry all of the time and everytime I see something in my kitchen, I wish I could eat it.  My doctor has me on:
Prilosec once per day
Reglan 4 times per day
Symax 3 times per day
Plus i have to take my Synthroid and Lexapro once daily.
This is so many pills to try and get down in one day. I had to create a record to cross off when I take a certain dose.  I am supposed to take the above meds for 7 days after surgery. I haven't really felt nauseous or sick, which is good. I haven't taken one dose of pain meds since my surgery....it just doesn't hurt.  Just weak and hungry. I can't wait until full liquids, I will be the happiest girl in the world.

I am just 4 days out from my surgery date and all sorts of emotions are going through my head. The main one that I am dealing with right now is fear. It is really affecting my life, because I am not able to handle even the smallest amount of stress. AND of course, my daughter has been running fever for almost 24 hrs on and off and has a sore throat. The is a bit of stress that I don't need. Luckily, it is really hard to get her down. She is acting pretty normal, but I am trying really hard to be there for her. I am anticipating a very hard next 3 days at work...heavy work-load, so I am just dreading it.

I am just 12 days pre op and struggling with the pre op diet. It consists of Optifast shakes (yuk) and some food here and there. My food choices range from 4 oz of meat with 1 cup of raw veggies to 2 oz of meat and 1/2 cup of cooked veggies.  It's been tough, but I know that the payoff will be gReAt. I am so jealous of all of the different diets that everyone has. I wish that I could only have full liquids or FAT free foods. I am stuck with no choices.

After talking to a surgeon friend of mine, I began looking into VSG as opposed to LapBand. I decided that for someone that really can't afford to take off alot from work for follow-ups and complications, I am going to have VSG instead of a Lap Band. He said that he has seen quite a few comps from erosion, slippage, etc. I spoke with my surgery group and it was no problem to switch procedures. I even more nervous now, but still quite excited for all of this to finally come to fruition.

I am just beginning a very exciting and frightening journey into a complete lifestyle change. I am schedule for Lap-band surgery on Feb. 12, 2009. So many things are going through my head right now. I have done everything to lead up to the surgery except for my education session and of course...I haven't even met my surgeon yet. Apparently, this is how it works. I was seen by a Nurse Practitioner, but I am really anxious to meet the man that will be performing this miracle for me.
I have to finance the surgery, because my insurance company has a written exclusion for weight loss surgery. Somehow this just seems wrong, but there isn't much I can do to change it. I will do what I need to do to save my life. I am lucky that I have yet to experience any serious medical problems due to my excessive weight, but I am a nurse, and I am very well educated on what my future has to hold if I remain this big. I have a perfect little 3 yr old girl that I have to be healthy for. This is the first step of my journey.