WeeSteppn
Being Perfect
May 05, 2008
Just had to get this little bit off my chest and not because I think I'm any better or a picture of health but because I at least recognize why I don't loose half the time (because I eat crap I shouldn't).
I work with this girl who had Lap-Band done in December of 2007 and doesn't know that I have had it done. Well I'm at a meeting 1 day last week and she's at my table and starts talking about how everybody thinks surgery is teh answer but how it's been failing her and she's gained and lost the same 5 lbs and she doesn't understand why it's so hard for her, blah blah blah.
Meanwhile, she's sitting there eating a diet coke and 2 chocolate chip cookies! Hmmm....let's see how many rules you are breaking right now while you're saying it's not working for you.
1.) Drinking pop
2.) Eating while drinking
3.) Not eating a high protein food
4.) Eating junk food
Shall I go on? Can anyone else add to the list? I mean for real though. I don't claim to be perfect....actually quite the opposite but (a) it took me over a year before I was eating crappy foods (b) I don't drink pop (c) I don't drink while I eat, etc. Also, the biggest irk-er for me is that I recognize when I don't loose the real problems is ALWAYS b/c of my behavior not b/c the surgery isn't working for me. Ok, now I'll step down off my soap box.
I know, I know.....it's hard being perfect.
Mandy
I work with this girl who had Lap-Band done in December of 2007 and doesn't know that I have had it done. Well I'm at a meeting 1 day last week and she's at my table and starts talking about how everybody thinks surgery is teh answer but how it's been failing her and she's gained and lost the same 5 lbs and she doesn't understand why it's so hard for her, blah blah blah.
Meanwhile, she's sitting there eating a diet coke and 2 chocolate chip cookies! Hmmm....let's see how many rules you are breaking right now while you're saying it's not working for you.
1.) Drinking pop
2.) Eating while drinking
3.) Not eating a high protein food
4.) Eating junk food
Shall I go on? Can anyone else add to the list? I mean for real though. I don't claim to be perfect....actually quite the opposite but (a) it took me over a year before I was eating crappy foods (b) I don't drink pop (c) I don't drink while I eat, etc. Also, the biggest irk-er for me is that I recognize when I don't loose the real problems is ALWAYS b/c of my behavior not b/c the surgery isn't working for me. Ok, now I'll step down off my soap box.
I know, I know.....it's hard being perfect.
Mandy
Man O Man
May 05, 2008
Wow! I have not been on here in forever it seems like. I have been so busy for the last month or so that I have called into work 2x's just to sleep! All well...that's what vacation days are for, right? I have had a wedding, a graduation, a baby shower, spa trip, etc. in just the last 4 weeks; not to mention all the things that lead up to a wedding. My husband was in it so we had all the dinners and parties to go to beforehand and the bridal shower and bachelor / ette parties, etc. Whew!
I keep saying now it's going to slow down and I can breathe again but now we're coming into summer and we are doing projects around our yard (landscaping and such) so my weekends are still filled. I just want a day to do absolutely nothing, ya know? Just sit and sleep and read and watch T.V. Whatever I feel like doing. All well I guess. I keep telling myself if I am busy then maybe I won't be so tempted to eat.
I have been still loosing but super duper slow which I guess is all right with me since I know the closer I get to my goal weight the harder it will get. I am almost there. Hopefully everyone else is doing well and like me are accepting of the idea that each new day is a chance to be better than you were before. There's ups and downs and goods and bads and that's fine with me. I'm human and don't expect to be perfect. I am working on finding peace with that idea and I wish the same for others.
Food for thought before I go...I read today in a magazine that eating 1000 calories or less is really bad for your metabolic furnace is the amount of calories that a 3 yr old should be getting. Isn't that crazy to think then that many Lap-Band patients and RNY patients eat near that amount? That was such a disturbing thing for me to think about. I am right around 1500 a day right now and that seems to keep my headaches at bay. Any less and look out Lucy!
Later guys and girls,
Mandy
I keep saying now it's going to slow down and I can breathe again but now we're coming into summer and we are doing projects around our yard (landscaping and such) so my weekends are still filled. I just want a day to do absolutely nothing, ya know? Just sit and sleep and read and watch T.V. Whatever I feel like doing. All well I guess. I keep telling myself if I am busy then maybe I won't be so tempted to eat.
I have been still loosing but super duper slow which I guess is all right with me since I know the closer I get to my goal weight the harder it will get. I am almost there. Hopefully everyone else is doing well and like me are accepting of the idea that each new day is a chance to be better than you were before. There's ups and downs and goods and bads and that's fine with me. I'm human and don't expect to be perfect. I am working on finding peace with that idea and I wish the same for others.Food for thought before I go...I read today in a magazine that eating 1000 calories or less is really bad for your metabolic furnace is the amount of calories that a 3 yr old should be getting. Isn't that crazy to think then that many Lap-Band patients and RNY patients eat near that amount? That was such a disturbing thing for me to think about. I am right around 1500 a day right now and that seems to keep my headaches at bay. Any less and look out Lucy!
Later guys and girls,
Mandy
Why Can't I?
Apr 21, 2008
Why can't I accept compliments from co-workers when they tell me I am "shrinking"? Why can't I help but feel like they are all talking nasty behind my back when I'm not around? Why can't I just say "thanks" and move on? Why can't I feel like I am shrinking? Why can't I see what everyone else sees? Why can't I feel good when my husband touches me more? Why do I feel like "what, I wasn't good enough before?" Why can't I take pride in my accomplishments without feeling arrogant? Why can't I love me like I love family, dogs, friends, and hubby? Why does this have to be so complicated? Just some things I been struggling with today.
Like I said before, I'm doing this challenge at work like a Biggest Looser type thing. Well I have lost a little bit this week and it seems like people are saying things to me left and right about how big my clothes are now, how good I look, how I'm "skinny" and "shrinking" but instead of feeling good I feel strange and don't know how to reply. I just say well it's not very much but thanks for noticing and walk aways red faced. I just wonder if I"ll ever give myself credit for this or if I'll let this beat me one day and allow me to get over weight again? Back to my apparent comfort? Worries me. I'm hoping that by reading some of these different books about emotional eating I'll be able to learn to deal with this other, negative self. I bought a size 10 yesterday, shouldn't I be happy about that. Instead I'm ashamed and even find myself thinking (dare I say it)....you didn't do this...the LapBand did and if you didn't have it you'd be same as you were before. I feel like a fraud. Why? I know it's been on my part of hard work and all that jazz so what's my hang up? Am I letting too much media get into my head? Not sure.
Mandy
Like I said before, I'm doing this challenge at work like a Biggest Looser type thing. Well I have lost a little bit this week and it seems like people are saying things to me left and right about how big my clothes are now, how good I look, how I'm "skinny" and "shrinking" but instead of feeling good I feel strange and don't know how to reply. I just say well it's not very much but thanks for noticing and walk aways red faced. I just wonder if I"ll ever give myself credit for this or if I'll let this beat me one day and allow me to get over weight again? Back to my apparent comfort? Worries me. I'm hoping that by reading some of these different books about emotional eating I'll be able to learn to deal with this other, negative self. I bought a size 10 yesterday, shouldn't I be happy about that. Instead I'm ashamed and even find myself thinking (dare I say it)....you didn't do this...the LapBand did and if you didn't have it you'd be same as you were before. I feel like a fraud. Why? I know it's been on my part of hard work and all that jazz so what's my hang up? Am I letting too much media get into my head? Not sure.
Mandy
Thought This Was Interesting
Apr 18, 2008
I've read a few articles by this woman and have listened to some of her telecourses and have also started to read some of her recommended books. I really like her and she makes a ton of sense. Here's an excerpt from 1 of her recent articles in WLS Lifestyles magazine:
"If we want to take charge of emotional eating and create a healthier relationship with food, we must learn to feed ourselves in ways that are more satisfying, and ultimately, more powerful. If we are using food to feed our feelings, or to fill holes in our life, or to avoid certain situations, we need to learn to REALLY address the gaps or holes that we are tempted to use food to fill. Food is for feeding our physical body. As my clients work to conquer emotional eating, they usually find they need to develop more tools and strategies to feed their spirit." ~ Melissa McCreery
Here's the link if you're interested in reading the rest.
http://www.wlslifestyles.com/all-blogs/melissa-mccreery-phd/20080410331/end-emotional-eating--let-your-life-grow-bigger-while-you-get-smaller.php
Mandy
"If we want to take charge of emotional eating and create a healthier relationship with food, we must learn to feed ourselves in ways that are more satisfying, and ultimately, more powerful. If we are using food to feed our feelings, or to fill holes in our life, or to avoid certain situations, we need to learn to REALLY address the gaps or holes that we are tempted to use food to fill. Food is for feeding our physical body. As my clients work to conquer emotional eating, they usually find they need to develop more tools and strategies to feed their spirit." ~ Melissa McCreery
Here's the link if you're interested in reading the rest.
http://www.wlslifestyles.com/all-blogs/melissa-mccreery-phd/20080410331/end-emotional-eating--let-your-life-grow-bigger-while-you-get-smaller.php
Mandy
TGIF!
Apr 17, 2008
Man has this been a long week or what? I swear my schedule has been so full these last 2 weeks that I am exhausted. I keep trying to make deals with myself. All week I been telling myself, "I'm too busy to exercise this week...I'll skip today and start fresh next week." Which I know this isn't just a cop out because I'm good about exercising but I have just been so super busy that I keep thinking this is 45 minutes I could be doing X and X. BUT....I MADE myself do it and I feel better for it but I do recognize it wouldn't be the end of the world if I did skip a workout or 2. I mean life is that way sometimes even despite or best intentions. I am always just afraid of the ever slippery slope. After this week, my schedule should get a little more normal and I can feel better. I'd like to get some rest this weekend to get re-energized but I have some family functions to attend so that won't be happening and next weekend I have a wedding. So no sleep for the weary I guess. At the very least the "to-do" list is smaller and should provide some relief.
Also, by the way, I have had 1 of my favorite goodies in my fridge all week (a present from a friend) and have only had 2 of them. Normally that box would have been history THAT VERY day....LOL. So kudos to me. Hope everyone else is hanging tight too. See you on the boards.
Mandy
Also, by the way, I have had 1 of my favorite goodies in my fridge all week (a present from a friend) and have only had 2 of them. Normally that box would have been history THAT VERY day....LOL. So kudos to me. Hope everyone else is hanging tight too. See you on the boards.
Mandy
On the Topic of Fills Again
Apr 16, 2008
I've decided to keep this current fill level. Of course I could be tighter and I'd probably loose weight faster but I have found that I can pretty much eat anything right now just not a whole lot of it. Like with pizza for example, I can eat 2 pieces of thin crust which is totally fine with me. If I want to be uncomfortable I could eat 3 but I try to avoid that feeling. 
So I've decided to work with this level and call it good. Wish me luck.
On the topics of what else has been going on not much. Just keeping busy as usual but never really knowing what I've been doing with my time. I have been keeping up with keeping in touch with friends which I'm usually really bad at, been keeping up with my work load at work, etc. So I feel all right I guess.
I've been reading this really interesting book on Emotional Eating and it really is explaining quite a lot to me about why I eat like I do and why I can eat the massive amounts of sugar that I can whereas a "normal" person would be severely ill if they took in that much sugar. The book is super easy to read and understand and I have already found myself practicing things I've learned in the book automatically. I am aware of it now. Not always of course but I"m getting there. I'm working it out. So far so good. Only about 6 chapters into it but plan to finish it up this week. I'd recommend it for anyone who thinks they are an emotional eater. Very interesting read. It's called "Anatomy of a Food Addiction".
Mandy
So I've decided to work with this level and call it good. Wish me luck.On the topics of what else has been going on not much. Just keeping busy as usual but never really knowing what I've been doing with my time. I have been keeping up with keeping in touch with friends which I'm usually really bad at, been keeping up with my work load at work, etc. So I feel all right I guess.
I've been reading this really interesting book on Emotional Eating and it really is explaining quite a lot to me about why I eat like I do and why I can eat the massive amounts of sugar that I can whereas a "normal" person would be severely ill if they took in that much sugar. The book is super easy to read and understand and I have already found myself practicing things I've learned in the book automatically. I am aware of it now. Not always of course but I"m getting there. I'm working it out. So far so good. Only about 6 chapters into it but plan to finish it up this week. I'd recommend it for anyone who thinks they are an emotional eater. Very interesting read. It's called "Anatomy of a Food Addiction".
Mandy
Shorty Get Loose!
Apr 10, 2008
Well I have been waiting since my last fill to really, really be able to gauge how well this fill went and I think I've finally arrived. I think I am a bit too loose. I really hate this back and forth game but I'm willing to do it to get to that spot. In fact, it's a nice change to be able to eat whatever I want. It almost makes me feel normal again. That last fill had me so restricted and tight so it was a nice change thats for sure. I've been enjoying not having pain with food and never knowing whether or not food was going to go down that day. However, I feel hungry all the time and my food is only lasting about 2 hrs and I'm ready to eat again so I think I'm far too loose. I am really trying not to overeat as my tummy growls but it sure is challenging. So in about another week I'm going to call and see if I can come in for another fill. They will probably think I'm crazy since I was just in there a few weeks ago for a slight unfill. 
Hopefully I don't end up being too tight again. Then they will REALLY think I'm nuts if I have to come back. I guess I have to ask myself which am I more comfortable with.....being too tight or too loose? Not sure. I hate being loose but being too tight scares the heck out of me because that always seems to be when the complications start to happen. We'll give it another shot though it's not like I been at this for a long time or anything.
Mandy
Hopefully I don't end up being too tight again. Then they will REALLY think I'm nuts if I have to come back. I guess I have to ask myself which am I more comfortable with.....being too tight or too loose? Not sure. I hate being loose but being too tight scares the heck out of me because that always seems to be when the complications start to happen. We'll give it another shot though it's not like I been at this for a long time or anything. Mandy
Interesting How.....
Apr 07, 2008
Much weight we can gain when we are retaining water. I got on the scale on Saturday morning and weighed 153 according to my scale. Then I ate some ice cream and other things that always seem to bloat me and by the time I weighed myself on Monday morning (this morning) I weighed 162. Isn't that crazy? The way my body fluctuates never ceases to amaze me. Hopefully a couple of days of being "good" will bring me back down to 153. All well I should have known better but I do love my sweets sometimes. I see no point in totally cutting it out. So here I sit waiting for my body to UNBLOAT...LOL.
Mandy
Mandy
Cleaned the Closets Today!
Apr 07, 2008
Well I finally got around to cleaning out my closets. I have so many clothes of different sizes and my closets were starting to bulge. So now I've finally cleaned them out. I should have had a yard sale since I had a ton of new stuff, name brands even (Tommy, Nike, Polo, etc.) but I just dislike sitting around waiting for someone to stop by and buy my stuff. So I gave it all to good will. I had a ton of new suits too that I have only wore 1x's. It kinda bums me out to get rid of them but if I'm honest with myself I know I'll never wear them again so why bother wasting time. So anyway, I just have to go through my jackets and I'll be all cleaned out and ready for new stuff.
Mandy
Mandy
Fantastic!
Apr 04, 2008
The un-fill was totally worth it. I fear I might be a little looser than I'd like to be but that's ok with me because I'd rather be too loose than too tight. I am feeling great today. I can eat more normally and it's a nice change. I did loose 8 lbs in 3 weeks while being tight but I just can't not worry about what happens when you're tight. Plus, I just don't feel good about eating 1/4 - 1/2 of food. That just doesn't seem healthy to me. If I'm a bit looser like I am now then I can eat a more balanced meal such as fruit, eggs, and 1 piece of toast for breakfast. That is the reason I got this band. Not to make sure I eat as little as possible while sustaining life but to still enjoy food but be able to eat smaller healthier meals. So I feel really good about where I am right now. Once I'm back fully on solids I'll see how long I go between meals without feeling hungry and that'll be the true test but I'll be good with having to eat small snacks in between to tide me over if I have to. I am just psyched about eating normally again. Whew.....plus, the pressure I felt in my chest (pressure I began to think of as normal as I got used to it) is gone. So all is well today folks. 
Mandy
Mandy
