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Still exercising---almost everyday!!  I am really living my life more then sitting watching other people live!!  I am playing volleyball, bowling, dancing, swimming (with other people around)  and just plain having fun.  I have even cut my hair short so it will be out of my way when I am working out!  I am loving life.  

I still so miss dad but it is getting a little easier.  Thank you all for your kind words!  You are all great friends!

June 26, 2007 will be the saddest day of my entire life.  I lost my father on that day @10:18pm.  He went to be with God.  I will miss you so much, you were the best dad, noone will ever be able to replace you in any way.  I love you so much Daddy.

Well I had a fill last week and I have not weighed lately,  I really think I have it in my mind that if I weigh too much then I will gain weight and be disappointed if I gain any back.  With this journey there are alot of psychological things to go through too.  No one can tell you exactly what  you will go through emotionally because everyone is so different.  I go through major ups and downs all the time.  Some of my downs are when all of my bariatric friends go down faster and I am still just losing a pound here and there.  I am losing inches but would love for the scale to scoot on down.  One of my ups recently (vain though it may seem) was going to a party and not being the fattest girl in the room!  I do know that that is something I noticed everytime I went out I always felt like the biggest one in the room and I did not like it.  This is just something that I have felt.  My ups and downs.  Does anyone get scared they will gain all thier weight back?  I guess  the weightloss has been temporary and this is not temporary--yeah!!!!  Well this was just some of my thoughts for today.

Well finally I am down 58lbs as of today.  It has been a long long journey filled with happy times and dissappointments to say the least.  My family and friends keep me going.  I am lucky enough to have a great group from the boards here that meets every month and then some.  We have become the best of friends and I love those people so much.  Their support means the world to me.  Thank you Rickol, Cheri, Colleen, and Cindy and Tommy.  You guys rock and I mean that with all my heart.  

If you don't have a support group then I suggest you start one find one or join one because it has made all of the difference for me.  This journey can get long and hard if you are not around people that understand what you are going through.  Wow 58lbs since October 23rd-I neer would have dreamed.

O exercise exercise exercise-and use weights it does work and works well!!  Do your cardio but make use of those weights.. Every morning I strap on 10lb weights to each ankle (and it is not always what I want to do at 5am) and I get on the treadmill then I do stairsteps and then I work out with weights and do my squats, leg lifts, lunges-while I have the weights on!  Also try to walk on the treadmill with weights in my hand.  

If you were to strap 58 pounds to me and say walk around all day damn it I would be tired of carrying that at the end of the day!  Now I know right??  The less you carry on your body the less tired you will be!!!  YEAH ME!!!!!!!  Keep up the good work me!!!!!!!!!!!

I have lost 53lbs as of last week!!  I met my goal and surpassed it!! Yea me!  I am excited.  Now for my next goal it is 6olbs.  I know that is not much but to me it is a world beyond what I can see at this point.  I am really excited because it is going slowly but permanantly.  I will not have to wonder what fad diet will work next.  

I do have to work out very hard everyday.  But here is the upside of this.  I have lost 8.5 inches in the last month!  We measure at our weight loss group monthly so we are accountable.  I have recently bought shirts as small as medium and worn them-a medium!!!!!!!!!  I never would have thought about wearing a medium ever!!  

I enjoy shopping a little more then I use to cause clothes actually fit.  I also enjoy going out a little more and do not feel as self concious as I use to.  

Thank you to Rickol for being such a great wonderful friend who is guiding me through this.  It is a journey I hope to never forget.  I am weary at times and she is there to help me pick up the pieces and keep going.

There are times when I feel tired and my WLS friends and there for me to let me know I am not alone and I appreciate each of them for all that they provide for me.  If you are not part of a group this is the key to help you with your mental health.  Please find a group somewhere.  It will keep you accountable and sane.  I party with these people.  I have lunch with them, I talk to them online and on the phone.  They understand!  I love you all!!!!  Thank you!

Well I am down another 3lbs, so one more pound til my big goal of 50--geez it is taking forever.  I am the type of person that will shrink alot before she actually loses the weight which is frustrating.  I am wearing size large or medium shirts alot now.  In fact today I am wearing a Hollister shirt size Large and it is actually loose. My daughter tells me this is the kind of clothes that you have to be on the smaller side to wear and that I am cool because I can wear this kind of clothing.  I also bought clothes from Wet Seal.  And tried oon clothes from Banana Republic size shirt--get this  Extra Small!!  Even if it was made big it fit me and looked good I should have bought it! May go back to Houston and get it.  Well wish me luck in continuing my journey! YEAH!!!

I LOST 3 MORE LBS!!! ONLY 4 MORE TO MY FIRST BIGGG GOAL OF 50!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so this is the last day of the 3 day self imposed liquid diet-thank God cause I am sick of liquids.  It did take me down to where I should be.  I need to lose just 7 more lbs and I will be at 50.  This may require more work then I thought-yuck but it is what needs to happen.  I really really want this.  and just 17 more lbs and that would be 60 down--wow never knew it could be so great!!!I am soo happy about it right now and ready to eat again.  Must continue working out.  So it is true if you are stuck the 3 day liquid diet does work wonders!!!!!!!!!!Yes can't wait for the last 7 pounds to go!!!!!!!!1

Well the last liquid diet did not pan out for me because I was way to into eating chips and cheese dip-yes this went down very easy :(

Today I got totally serious and started my 3 day liquid diet again and this time by sheer I am gonna hit the 50lb weight loss mark will power.  Well today went very well, I feel like the liquid part gets easier as you get tighter fills.  I am up to 2ccs at this time so going tighter won't be a problem.  It is just that I am sensitive to my fills and most things I can't really over do it except  for the mexican food. I know this doesn't make sense but it is true for me chips and cheese go down easy.  So I am gonna try really hard to avoid these.  But realistically I know that sometimes I will want them so if the cravings get bad I may have to give in, but I will not keep it in the house I will go out and get them. So right now I am drinking my soup.  Pacific makes the best Creamy Tomato it taste soo freaking good.  I highly suggest that in liquid phase of your diet to try this soup it is my favorite.  I also have a little secret weapon.  I have my hubby fix my soup or drinks during the liquid times so I can stay out o the kitchen.  He is a lifesaver and I think it helps so that is another suggestion from me to anyone reading. So if you haven't fallen asleep we will get through the hard times and yes I do have hard times and I still berate myself for "messing up".  If you need support please stop by I am more than willing to be there for you!  I hope that you will be there for me too.  Thanks.

Well shoot my background did change but still watch the movie the commitments.  I did not think Rob Thomas would show up-computer glitch.  The Commitments is my theme movie for reasons I said in the blog below.  Going to work out--need some inspiration today feeling sluggish--anyone????????