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i think the title speaks for itself. i was supposed to have my first consultation with my surgeon today, but i couldn't even find the building. i thought i was doing so well by choosing to go to his other office (in an area i'm not familiar with) so that i can get an earlier appointment & get the rest of the ball rolling. 

i thought i was so prepared for my meeting with him today. i printed out mapquest & brought my GPS along even though they were simple directions. about an hour of wasting gas (and 2 calls to his secretary later) i still couldn't find the building. apparently i didn't have the correct address because looking at the map online now is completely different from what i saw a week ago. i don't know how it happened, but my GPS brought me to the right road (which i found on my own anyway) but not the right building.

i wanted to scream when it kept saying "you've arrived at your destination!" when i was clearly not at my surgeon's office, but an abandoned warehouse....

i feel so bad because i not only missed my appointment (that i was so excited for) but i had to keep asking the secretary on the phone for directions. i could tell she was trying to help me but i'm not from the area & there are so many different ramps to take. it was almost impossible to figure out what lane i needed to be in for the north west southbound road i was looking for. seriously it had exits for every highway & every direction you could ever want to go in. 

the second time i called to ask for the road she said before (not on my GPS or mapquest) she tried to re-explain the directions, but then had to break the bad new. since i was almost an hour behind (appointment 45 min max) i had clearly missed my slot. she was very nice even when she said there were no more available appointments for the rest of the day or the week. 

i felt like i wanted to cry right then & there on the phone. i had been looking forward to this day for so long & tried so hard to get there but it was already to late. there was nothing else i could do but go home & try again next time.

i could keep ranting forever but i'm going to try & pump the brakes....

at least i was able to get another appointment for next week. i can only hope that the new directions i have will take me there. a part of me honestly wants to leave my house an extra 4 hours early because i WILL NOT be a happy camper if i get lost again. 

i probably sound like a typical dumb blonde who can't type the right address into mapquest or a freakin GPS. jeez! i wouldn't blame you for laughing at me. everything was all main roads, but somehow i still failed. 

on a brighter note, i am determined more than ever to find the building next week & rock the shit out of that consultation! haha yeah i'm pretty intense if i don't get my way the first time....

i just have to keep reminding myself that this is one little bump in the road. i was only set back one week. in the long run, it's not that bad. i was just hoping to get as much done as i can before my semester starts (2 weeks! eww!) 

i have rambled enough for one day. 

wish me luck for next week!

take care!

~ Valerie

so the 6 month diet has been ok so far. i wish i could get more feedback from my PCP because i tell her that i have been trying to watch what i eat and keep active, but she doesn't give any new suggestions. in november she did prescribe me  Meridia which is an appetite  suppressant. it has helped control my hunger and loose some weight, but the times that i don't take it i am starving. i know that if i stayed on this pill forever (which i can't because there is a limit to how much she can prescribe to one person) & lost all my weight, it wouldn't help in the long run. after i stopped taking it i would just end hungry all the time like i was before.

since i started the 6 month supervised diet with my PCP, i have lost some weight. i believe i started around 250 or 255 & the last time i was weighed i was around 240. not a lot of weight, but for the 2 months that i have been on Meridia, it has kept my ravenous behavior at bay.

the second week of december i went to another seminar by the surgeon i want. even though i know all of the information, i still wanted to go for a refresher. the first visit i had was in january so since it was almost a year, it was my way of seeing if this was right for me. going in and meeting him again reassured me that 1) i trust him & know he can help me 2) i have a wealth of knowledge about both Lap Band & RNY and 3) being here feels right.

i don't quite know how to explain the feeling but during the presentation and the Q&A i already felt like his patient. when newer people asked questions, i knew i could answer them just as thoroughly as he could. i'm not saying i could perform the surgery myself. definitely not going into the medicine field. but i knew then that i had taken the past year to prepare myself mentally for what was involved. i have been looking up ever post-op i could on youtube to see what their thoughts & opinions on WLS were. i have started shopping for things that i will need after surgery. my favorite part has been trying new foods and recipes that a lot of gastric bypass people have already experimented with. i mean everything from protein shakes to to new meals.

in my mind, i know i am going to have the surgery. now i have to break the news to my insurance company. i have 3 weeks until my spring semester starts & i am determined to get as much done as possible. here is my plan:
1) call insurance company to check i am covered for WLS (even though i should be eligible)
2) ask what my specific requirements are find out if i need a referral from my PCP (who already knows i'm dead set on this anyway) and what my co-pay is for my consultation
3) go to my consultation with my surgeon & then take it from there.

originally my appointment was set for 1/28 at the office closest to me, but i couldn't wait that long. i don't mind the extra drive to get an earlier date. so now i am going to see him on 1/5. that is not even 10 days away! i am excited to get the REAL ball rolling. the morning of the i will have my second to last weigh in with my PCP. that way i can fill her in on all that's happening. that way hopefully for my last weigh in, which will be in february, i will have more good news to tell her.

i don't want to get my hopes up because i don't quite know how much time it will take to get insurance approval & other crazy things. i know i have babbled on long enough, but i just need to say one more thing. although i am confident about having surgery, i am nervous about the process leading up to it. i don't want to mess everything up or have a horror story with insurance coverage. i have been trying to keep positive thoughts in my head to keep that energy flowing through me at all times (especially when negativity starts to surround me). 

i think i have vented enough for now. for christmas/birthday (which is tomorrow) my dad got me the Flip Ultra video camcorder i wanted so i am going to start recording my journey. i will post to youtube as a video blog so that i can get more feedback from others & spread helpful information about WLS to any other people interested. i know i was a n00b at one time & certain people have really helped me find my way.

seriously, i am done. no more rambling. this is why i should update more often so i don't go on giant tangents like this every couple of month....

peace, love & happiness to all!
~Valerie

 so i went to see my doctor today & talk to her about WLS. i already had a folder of information prepared to bring with me. it was the one they gave me from my information seminar & all of my research.
i was pretty calm the whole morning. in the car ride over, i blasted some Kings of Leon so that made me happier. what made me even more relaxed was in the waiting room i caught the end of a Beatles mix. once that was done it switched over to Michael Buble, which i like, but i prefer my rock n roll especially from the 60s & 70s. so i waited a while & the longer it took the more nervous i became. finally they called me in & i began freaking out. i didn't know what to say & i felt like walking back out.

when they weighed me, i was just under 250. which of course isn't good, but it at least means the scale i have at home is fairly accurate. anywho, i was really nervous about talking to her, but the moment she walked in the door i relaxed. when she saw my folder she smiled & laughed a bit. she thought it was funny how organized i was with everything & that i had done so much work already. i guess she gets a lot of people who wants an easy solution, but haven't a clue what it really involves. to sum it up, i recapped my past attempts at weight loss & why i decided to do it & what i am planning to do next.

for some reason i thought she would have put up a fight & try to convince me that i didn't need it. i was so relieved that she supported me & agreed that i have had issues throughout my whole, which surgery could help. she was also happy to see that my ideal surgery date would be early next summer & not like this christmas. 

so now i am on the 6 month monitored diet & exercise plan that will show my insurance company an "official" attempt at losing weight even though i have been doing programs & pills since the beginning of the millennium. she didn't know what i wanted to do as far as diet wise so i guess for the first month we are going to see what happens. i will try my best to eat what's right & hit the gym more often, but honestly i tried that & it don't do much. i guess when i see her in september, she will try to give different suggestions as to what i should change in my diet & try to get me to loose something. 

what did your physicians tell you? low carbs & what not? i'm not sure what to do, so i would love advice.

so happy that i am working my way to this! i have been debating this for years & now i can see the light at the end of the tunnel! i have read part of The Secret & i am starting to believe. all i have been doing is staying positive & thinking about what i really need & want in my life. because of this new outlook, i know i can achieve my goals & this is one that i know will come true. never in my life have i been so happy at a doctor's office. i left with a smile on my face & hope in my heart.

thanks ahead for anyone who reads my rambling thoughts or comments with any advice!

so i was able to fill out the paperwork from one surgeon to see  if my insurance covers it. the woman from the office called last week, but i was in class so i couldn't pick up the phone. her voicemail says she has the information from my insurance company & i should call her back. i tried calling back today (one week later) but she wasn't there. i will try calling tomorrow even though my sister is home & she doesn't know yet. it's just that she likes to know every detail of my life so if i lock myself in my room to make a phone call, she will suspect something. i know i will have to tell her eventually, but i know she will try to talk me out of it. but now i'm getting off track. 
i already checked Aetna's website to see what they cover & what their policy is, but i'm still nervous on what she has to say. i know what still needs to be done, but i'm afraid she might say that my specific policy doesn't cover WLS. i don't want to be paranoid, but i can't help it. i only have a certain time frame that i can get surgery because once i graduate college, i am off my parent's plan. and although i haven't checked, the union for my supermarket that i work at probably won't cover it.
all i can do right now is call this office & hear what she has to say & then i can assess my situation from there. i'm just going to be optimistic & hope for the best
keep your fingers crossed for me!

~Valerie

i've gone to a seminar at one place and received a call from another facility, but i can't seem to get beyond that. the second place that contacted me said they would send a form to fill out to see if my insurance would cover surgery before i even start the supervised diet & go for a consultation. that was 3 months ago & i still haven't had the courage to call them back. i want this so badly but in a way i know i'm just afraid of what my family will think & the possibility of being rejected. i'm not sure if i would receive coverage so i know how devastated i would be if i don't get approved & i'm afraid of hearing that. i just feel so down because i need this but i can't find the strength to continue down what i know will be a challenging road....