vallers
I have been struggling with my weight for as long as I can remember. I am 43 and don't remember a time when weight wasn't the first thing on my mind with everything I did. I have tried every diet known to man only to fail and gain more weight. I am currently at my highest weight EVER in my life and it is time for me to do something about it. My oldest child recently turned 20 and I have so many regrets that I didn't do something earlier. I have 3 kids in all - 20, 18 & 15 and feel like I have missed out on so much. I missed those ballgames in the backyard, swimming in my own backyard to embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, rollercoaster rides and the many things I didn't do because I was in fear of not fitting or making a fool of myself. My dream is to go to Cedar Point next summer and ride on everything not worrying the whole way through the line only to tell me I don't fit - it's happened! I can't say that I have the support I probably need with my family. Everyone's words are "you are fine the way you are," "it's not worth the risk." I am glad they don't have to deal with a weight issue, but I wished they understood what it is like to live carrying the weight of another person on you all the time, not fitting in somewhere, breaking a chair that you sat in, etc. I can't seem to get them to understand. Needless to say, they will not know that I will have the surgery until the procedure is actually done. This probably isn't the way to handle this situation but I don't want to be talked out of the surgery (I have come to far) and feel they will support me after the procedure itself is done. I hope that's how it happens anyway. My surgery date has been set for August 14th. I would be lying if I say I'm not scared to death, but I have faith that I am making the right decision for me at this time.
