txsweits73
My Story, Oh where do I begin.....I am a 5'9", 300lb, 34 yr old mother of 4 ranging in age from 15 yrs to 15 mths(1 girl 3 boys
). I have been married for 10 yrs this Aug to my hubby Kevin whom I met online.....yes online in just a regular chat room, no match dot come or anything. He loves me for who I am and just wants me to be healthy.
I have had weigh issues all of my life. I have been on and off diets since I was probably about 10 yrs old. My mother would go on a diet and put me on it with her. I was born with congenital hips (there was no socket for the ball to fit in so my hips would dislocate) which was not discovered until around my first birthday. I have had multiple surgeries on my hips since the age of 1 yr old. They were able to correct the left, but never the right, consequently my right leg is shorter than the left and I walk with a bit of a limp(which I don't notice LOL). With that being said, I was never allowed to do anything too strenuous or be very active for fear I would fall and undo everything they had done to reconstruct my bones. That was ok for me, I got out of gym class and that sorts of things, but it has also taken a big toll on my body not being able to move. As I got older I kind of stopped listening to the Dr.s and basically did what I wanted until it started to hurt and then I knew I had pushed it too far! Opps! hehehe I didn't do "crazy" things like roller skating or anything of the like, but I did try to become more active and do exercise classes and that sort of thing. Now that I am at the ripe old age of 34(kidding....I don't feel old!) my body is rebelling against me being this weight. I am upwards of 300 lbs now which is almost my heaviest. Fortunately I don't have the major co-morbidities that alot of people get.....I am healthy!?!?! The only thing giving me trouble are my joints, which in a way I am very fortunate. In my family there is huge history of Diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, heart disease and so far*knock on wood* I have managed to escape these. I have thought about WLS for a while, but always thought I would never do it mostly out of fear and feeling that it was my "last resort". In Sept. '07 I went back home for a visit and to help my Dad try and get his house cleaned up. I hadn't been home since my mother's funeral in '99, a year after I had left. She died at 56 with all the things I listed above, but what is listed on her death cert is Cardio Myopothy(sp). I was 5 mths pregnant with my 2nd child and that was very hard on me to bury my mother so young and at that time in my life. Anyway, I went back home in Sept and visited with one of my best friends since high school. She was 18 mths post op and she looked amazing! Funny thing is I kept staring at her wrists and hands, so tiny and petite! hehehe She had PCOD and was never able to have children even after many tries with fertility and finally opted to adopt 2 boys several yrs ago. After her surgery she was able to concieve all on her own and is due in March! Well, I took a pic of her and emailed it(along with other various pics) home to my hubby and he said,"This is covered by insurance?" I said yes, I thought it was and his answer was we'll talk about it when you get home. I got home, we didn't really discuss it much, but I did go to my PCPin Oct. and talked to him about it. He told me he thought I would benefit greatly from it as I have tried almost everything out there from adolescence til now. I am young, I am in good health, so to speak, and why put it off now when I can be doing so much more and enjoying my life with my family so much more. So he reffered me to Dr. Hendrick in MI. In Canada we have our insurance(OHIP) and there is such a backlog here in Ontario that they are reffering to the states. I called when I got home, and Keisha told me what steps I needed to take next and sent me all the paperwork to fill out and turn in(apply for approval for consult etc.)and also put me in to attend the information seminar (Nov 6th). I went back to my PCP and he was surprised to see me back so soon, but gladly sent in the paperwork. I was approved for consult within a week and set up my consult for Dec6th, they had offered Nov 9th, but hubby was going to be out of town and I had noone to watch the lil ones for the day (apt was from 8:30am and I didn't get home until 4:00). I went to the seminar(by myself) on Nov 6th. My daughter, who was to be our babysitter that night, had gotten sick so DH decided it'd be best if he stayed home. I called him after the seminar and I was taken aback. Although technically we had never really sat down and talked about it, I thought he was ok with me having surgery. When I called him he said," I just don't know that this is the right thing to do. You've obviously already made up your mind though. I just don't think you've tried hard enough." 
Not tried hard enough? NOT TRIED HARD ENOUGH!?!?!?! OMG I was furious with him, so I went to a friends house instead of going home LOL She tried to help me possibly rationalize the statements he had made....he's scared...he doesn't want to loose you etc etc etc....it still hurts! I did tell him how it hurt me, that it just threw in my face that I have failed over and over again. The next day my daughter stayed home from school again and she started asking me about when I was going to my appointment (she is very excited for me, but I don;t know if she fully understands everything). I told her how I should be going the next day(Thurs Nov 8th) but no one to watch the kids. She said,"Mom, you NEED to go. GO! I'll stay home and watch the boys. You NEED to go." Who is this grown up who has entered my baby? LOL Is this all just a ploy so she can stay home one more day from school? LOL So I called hubby to see if this was ok with him and I called the Dr's office just to make sure they could squeeze me in,They could! Thurs, Nov 8th I crossed the border and made it to the office in about half an hour. i was there for 8:30 or shortly before. It was a group meeting for the most part and then we had individual meetings with the Dr and with the psychiatrist for psych eval. We met with the nutritionist and got lots of info. I was nervous meeting the Dr and telling him my frustrations with my weight I did have a lil emotional breakdown(I'm a crier what can I say?) LOL He was very understanding, thank goodness! He assessed me and said I am not "that big" in the grand scheme of things. All I could think of is thats what I have been told all my adult life....."You're not THAT big" "No way you weigh THAT much" "You carry your weight well" "You still have a shape" and thats what I have gotten by on all these years, but enough is enough! I am sick and tired of carrying all this weight around, no matter how well I carry it! I am ready to not hurt when I walk up one flight of stairs(we live in a 2 story house). I want to be able to feel like I look good FOR REAL and not just I look as ood as I can for being my size. So, I left the office telling them NOT to submit my paperwork until I had a chance to talk some more to hubby. If I had gona ahead with it that day, they probably could have had me in the OR before Christmas, but a little bit of fear set in. I am very scared to leave my family and I have had alot of very morbid thoughts of "being prepared" like getting life insurance on myself so if anything does happen they will have a little something for schooling or whatever. I know I shouldn't think like that, and for the most part I feel like if it's your time it's your time......and its NOT my time! I hope! LOL
I finally called back and said, ya know what, send them in and I had an approval within a week maybe a week and a half. Then I had to wait again(for myself) to set a date. I wanted to figure out the "perfect" surgery date. I have settled on March 3, 2008. This is the Monday before the kids March break. My hubby is taking the week off and his Mom will be coming in on the train to help take care of the kids while I am in the hospital.
So here I am a little over a month away with so many feelings running through me and I can't wait to be on the Losers bench with you guys! Anyway, if you have made it to this, I apologize for the "book". I look forawrd to meeting new friends along the way of this new journey. Thanks so much for your support, it means alot to have you guys to lean on!
