7/13/05 I have been overweight since I started having children 33 years ago. I was not overweight as a child. It has progressively gotten worse even though I have tried every diet and exercise there is. I have 3 beautiful children and 6 beautiful grandchildren and want to live for them. I love the Lord, Jesus Christ and I am active in my church. I have made my career in the health insurance industry, so you think being overweight would not be my story. I seem to be gathering everything high, hypertension, high cholesterol, enlarged heart and at 319 lbs. and 5'6" definitely on the high end of weight scale. I have researched and visited this site many times over the past 2 years. Watching the many transformations and being amazed by them. After much thought and prayer I have finally made the decision to make the drastic change, branch out and trust my Lord and live the abundant life He has promised me.
07/28/05 I am a little disappointed. I heard from my PCP office yesterday that I do not have 6 straight months of a physician managed dieting program that CIGNA requires. After all of the prayer and finally being comfortable with the very idea of the surgery to have to wait now distressed me. Mainly because I have been on so many diets and excerise programs that if I knew it had to be documented in my chart I could have started earlier. But I saw my PCP today to get this party started and found I am 3 months into the six months already. Whew!!!!! I feel a little better. But on a sader note after all of the calorie counting, weight watching I gained 9 pounds!!!! Not the direction I should be going in. 
08/27/05 I went to the dietian on 8/18/05. I weighted that morning on my home scale and weighted 319. When I got to the office I weighted 308. Now which scale do I beleive? Mine of course. I find it hard to beleive I have lost that much weight. Dr Wolf's scale will be the one that matters anyway. I was already making better choices in the foods I eat and getting in more excerise. The dietian while not oppose to WLS feels is a valuable tool for some people. I put the treadmill back up, so we will see. The wait for October is is hard, that is when I will be complete with the 6mo physician supervised diet. My husband has just gone from temp to perm and will have United Healthcare EPO. So I will have double coverage and I am told they are so much eaiser to work with than CIGNA. It also does not go into effective until October. I am starting to have second thoughts again. Can I live without it? Only if some other drastic changes take place. Regardless of whether or not I have the surgery I am going to have to make some drastic changes in my life. Am I willing to make the changes, yes. Am I sure of the outcomes, no. Only God knows. I want to be like that old violin in the poem "Touch of the Master's Hand" by Myra Brooks Welch. Only a touch by God can change my worth, change my outcome, change my life. I pray that His Hand is constantly on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "The Touch of the Masters Hand" Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin, but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a dollar"; then two!" "Only two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three? Three dollars, once; three dollars twice; going for three.." But no, from the room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and sweet as caroling angel sings. The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low, said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow. A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make it three? Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and gone," said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not quite understand what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch of a master's hand." And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin, Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on. "He is going" once, and "going twice, He's going and almost gone." But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand. Myra 'Brooks' Welch January 7, 2006 I have been gone for a minute. OK quiet a few minutes. My weight is standing still, no loss, no gain. I have been watching what I am eating, but to no avail. I am excersing about twice a week. I know not enough. I have been in lurk mode on the board, reading and learning more and more each day. The RNY plain and simply scares me, plus CIGNA was making me jump thru hoops. At first I thought I was failing in my faith. Now I think RNY is just not for me. I have been researching the Lap Band. I realize there are complications as well as slower weight loss but becasue it is less invasive I am going to go for it. CIGNA HMO was my insurance until this year. Now I have United Health Care EPO. Hopefully it will make it easier to get approved. Becasue I am changing the type of surgery, I am also changing my surgeon to Hadar Spivak. I have an appointment with him on the 11th. Until then, Be Blessed! January 11, 2006 I went to Dr. Spivak's seminar/consultation today. I brought my husband along with me. He was not on board with the RNY, but by the end of the seminar, he too was considering the band. Thank you Lord!! He is a diabetic and is also morbid obese, so I am glad he will at least consider it. Well all of my paper work is complete and should go to the insurance on Monday. Until then, I am Touched by the Master's Hand. January 24, 2006 The wait is getting to me. I know it has only been a week. I called UHC today and they don't show anything in their system. Now that I have taken this step I want to get this party started!!! Patience has never been my virtue. But God is still in control and teaching me to wait on Him. In the mean time I did lose 4 pounds. It is probably water weight, but I will take it. I told my family in GA today and surprisingly they say to do what is best for me. I still have to talk to my Mom. I already know she is worried about me. I know she will surround me with her prayers and I know I will be alright, because the fervent prayers of the righteous availth much!! Until next time, I am touched by the Master's Hand! January 26,2005 I went for my UGI this morning. It was not too bad. At least this is one less item I am waiting on. Next is the blood work. This waiting thing is getting on my nerves. Until next time, Be blessed. February 8, 2006 I called the insurance company the end of January and they told me verbally it was approved and a letter would be sent out. I called back yesterday and again they said the letter should have gone out on the 27th. So why is it the 8th of February and still no letter. Dr Spivak's office can not schedule the surgery until they receive the letter. Every day I come home and check the mail, still no letter. This is very frustrating!!!!!!!!! I guess it is like mama used to say, don't rush your time. On another note, work along with school is also getting on my nerves. You would think that graduate students would not act like they know everything, but then again I guess so! February 15, 2006 The letter finally came!!!!!!!!! I faxed it to the Dr Spivak's office and I have a date. On February 22nd I will be on the losing side! The date is also my twin granddaughters 3rd birthday. So we will be celebrating their birthday and my re-rebirth. I have gained some of the pounds I had loss, so with surgery a week away, I have to stay on my low carb diet. I am so excited and scared at the same time. My mom is supportive but still does not want me to have it. I am praying for her peace of mind and mine. I pray that the surgery , recovery and all following days are uncomplicated and I can work the tool, so that the reasonably thin person that keeps screaming inside me can finally come out. I just hope her name is not Darlene (my alter ego) She can really be a b----. I pray that I can lose the weight so that the loves of my life, Lucretia, Cawana, Nicole, Jasmine, Isaac, Tyler, Sydney, Sierra, Taytum and my wonderful husband Monroe can have the mama, nanna and wife they deserve. I am looking forward to this new life. I have truly been touched by the Master's hand. Until next time, Be Blessed! February 24, 2006 Well I am home and banded! Thank you for all of the prayers and wells wishes. A special thank you to Q from the BlackBandsters. Dr Spivak said the surgery went well. I truly had the Touch of the Master's hand all of the way. He sent ministering angles in the form of all the personnel responsible for my care. From the time I checked in I had nurses who were banded or had the RNY taking care of me. Yes I have some pain and some gas, but I am working through it. I have not been interested in eating much (I guess that's a good thing). I am going back to bed. Take care until next time, Be blessed! 06/17/06 I know I have been gone for a minute. I have still been on the boards, reading and soaking up information. The weight loss has been what I would consider to be slow but steady. I have loss a total of 42 pounds since surgery. I have had 3 fills. After the 2nd fill I had to some some taken out. I could get liquids down but not food. Now I have 3.0cc in my band. I feel like the flood gates have finally been closed. All has not been sweet and rosy. I have had some PBing, most of it my own fault. Right, I needed that piece of bread, pasta, etc. When something is stuck, it is no joke. OK, so I can't eat (what I want to eat) in the mornings. I have learned to drink my protein shake and be fine until around 11:00, then I can get something solid down. This way I avoid the run to the bathroom and the looks from coworkers. I have also learned to eat slowly and when enough is enough. I am excercising more and I am down to a size 22/24 Whooo! My husband and I went to Vegas in May and I could actually fasten the seat belt without an extenter. Yeah!!! Until next time, I am still Touched by the Master's Hand! Be Blessed
