Tami Y.

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I don't know when I'm going to start therapy, but it will have to be soon. I put on more weight this week, again. I wish that the part of me that wants this was stronger than the part of me that doesn't. Am I crazy? Am I just irresponsible? Should I be harder on myself, or should I be giving myself credit for what I have, in fact, accomplished? No idea.

I didn't get on the scale this morning because yesterday it said 434 again.

Got on the scale this morning, 427.4. Lower than last week's Tuesday weight. Maybe I can start to see how the trends work, and then feel better about them.

428.8

Yup, gained a few over the weekend, as is my wont.

Overall loss for this week: 2.6 pounds. Even with the bouncing, I'm happy with that. I will update my ticker.

I love when I have a week like this week. Weight loss is inconsistent and maddening, but this week has rocked:

Date                         Weight
-------------------------------------
Monday, Jan 7       431.4
Tues., Jan 8           429
Wed., Jan 9            427.4
Thurs, Jan 10        426

426 was my goal for the Christmas challenge. I made it late, but I made it.
I always bounce back up when my period starts, but the bouncing back down keeps getting lower and lower.

Warning - kinda gross.

Last night I went to my friend's house for dinner like I do most Tuesdays. she served tenderloin, like she does most Tuesdays. I took tiny bites, chewed, chewed, chewed, all seemed well, then - STUCK! And I had to just suck it up and say that a piece of meat was stuck in my throat and I was gonna go cough it up. There was no way they weren't gonna hear me PB'ing, and I needed to quite badly. I coughed up a little, and then felt the rest go down in a giant burp.

Damn it, that dinner was tasty, too! And now I'm super swollen, because when I went home and tried to drink some protein shake, that came up in a giant gob of mucus, too. I went to bed.

This morning my first coffee went down, but not easy, there was a bit of slime that I had to spit out. Gross. Now I have protein powder mixed into another cup of coffee, and small sips are going quite well. I'll have soup for lunch, and I have a yogurt smoothie for snack. I'm kinda screwed for dinner, since I'm going to the gym, and then I'm supposed to go to the  business meeting of a club I belong to.  She's serving ham. I don't want to PB again, maybe I'll just duck out.

This morning, I stepped on the scale, because if I don't step on the scale every day I lose focus and gain - almost every time. Anyway, this morning the scale said 429 again! Woo-hoo!

Of course. Monday remains my official weigh-in day, but if I'm on my way to 60 pounds lost, I'm happy!

OK, I was wrong, I lost 8 pounds in 6 weeks, and the doc is happy with that. Neither one of us thinks I need a fill, yet, and I see him again in 3 months. Not bad!

431.4 this morning on my bathroom scale. As near as I can figure, I'm down 6 pounds total in 6 weeks. It's not that I lose slowly, it's that I'm completely screwed up and eating around my band, already. I put away too much by eating in small increments when I'm not hungry, eating high calorie foods, or drinking high-calorie alcoholic beverages.

I'm not so far gone that I'm not losing anything, but I'm sabotaging myself at a much earlier point than I ever have before. Therapy can only do so much, I guess.

I'm glad that I'm down, but I'd like to be down past the 50 pound mark, please. I hit it once, I want to pass it, now.

Appointment with my surgeon today, I wonder what he'll say about it.

While I had an excellent time over the holiday, copius drinking means weight gain, it just *does*. 

434. Back on the wagon, I guess.

431.2.
I was at 428.8 on Thursday, 430 on Friday, 432 on Saturday.
I took an extra water pill yesterday, looks like it helped a little.

Hey, next week should be a good week for loss... I hope.

Have I mentioned how much I miss being on birth control pills? Because I miss being on birth control pills.