tracy L.
Hmmmmm, where to begin?? I did not struggle with weight my whole life. As a child and teen I was tall and rail thin. It wasn't until I started nursing school that I began to gain weight, just after age 20 it was somewhat noticeable. My nursing school uniforms were painted on by the end of three years but I wasn't really overweight...yet. I became pregnant with my first daughter at the age of 24 and gave birth at 25. I gained about 75 pounds!!! I never fully lost all of that weight and for the first time I was truly overweight. It is amazing to me now that I could have blatantly put it at the back of my mind, pretending it wasn't fat. I did drop some weight for my wedding but that wasn't to last. I became pregnant again when my first daughter was 2. Sadly, there were three miscarriages in a row, a few months apart that had me horomonally and emotionally all over the place. Of course my weight rose and it was the first time I was over 200 pounds outside of pregnancy. I can't say I was all that aware of it but who am I kidding, I can push things out of my mind that I dont care to deal with. Throughout those miscarriages, other issues arose- one being a d&c, an emergency appendectomy and then a flare-up of an old baqck injury that would not be fixed by meds this time. I am an o.r. nurse so the prospect of lying face down with my butt in the air for my co-workers was enough to make me drop some weight. Down to about 190, not great but better, but....wouldn't last long. I recovered from back surgery and later that year I became pregnant for our 2nd daughter. I gained about 45 pounds with that pregnancy but was thrilled because this time we had a beautiful healthy baby girl!! After having her, I topped out the scale at 232 pounds which was until recently, my highest non-pregnancy adult weight. Over the last 8 and a half years, I tried Atkins diet which absolutely kills my stomach and lost 22 pounds, gained every bit plus back within a month of stopping. I tried eDiets which didn't work well, maybe 5-10 pounds loss over three months or so, gained back immediately. A few years ago in preparation for a trip, I started WW and Curves and over a bit less than a year I lost 45 pounds and that put me at 177, down from 222. I believe that was in 2007 into 2008. As soon as we went on the trip, the gain began and I just couldn't stop. In conjunction with all these failed attempts I have experimented with several different diet pills that served no purpose but to make me shake uncontrollably,cause rapid heartbeat and give me insominia and spend a lot of money. Add paxil or any SSRI med to the mix for the anxiety and depression from this roller coaster of dieting life and you have the spot I occupy now, an obese mom of 234 pounds, bmi about 35.6 and looking into weight loss surgery to derail this gain train FOR EVER!!! I cannot continue this path especially in plain view of two beautiful daughters, one of which is a very impressionable, self-critical 12 year old. I do not want to be sidelined by the aches, pains and shortness of breath that never leaves me. The o.r. I work in has been blessed to have retained Dr. Joshua Alley who is a board certified bariatric specialist. I am so incredibly blessed to see his God-given skills in action. I have no worries about the actual surgery itself. My terror is in getting the approval from insurance to move ahead. I know it is going to be a battle but I will fight. I am confident in the services provided by Dr. Alley and his staff to gather all of the neccessary tests and information to optimize my chances. I understand and am very motivated by the fact that this tool will be my last chance for the best odds of loss and maintaining. My husband is quietly supportive yet doubting at the same time. I can't blame hime, has has seen every up and down. My thought is, he doesn't have to agree but he has to support me:-)
