tinkerott

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So I have been slacking lately, but I must say that I'm almost down to 250lbs.  I'm getting there slowly.  I have tried watching more what I'm eating and I have tried writing it down also.  So I hope that it will work out in my favor.  I have another 4 pounds to go and then I will be what I was back at the end of my highschool days.  Just thinking that I used to be 334lbs, makes my head roll.

I haven't gotten to the gym in 2 days, but I have 4 days off and I plan to use them to my best.  Plus I'm taking my lovely nephew and I think we are going to go to the park  and maybe kick the ball around.  I love being able to play with my nephew and niece and not be dying or choking to death trying to catch my breath.  Today is a good day, and I must say I hope I have many more.

The only thing that is starting to bother me is all this skin.  I never thought I would have such flabby underarms, or thighs.  I'm not liking it at all.  I guess that just means I will have to have it chopped off when I get down to my desired weight.  I wonder if anybody covers it for health reasons, or if it is covered after so much weight loss.

Well I guess that is all.  I'm off it's time for work.

So after I went for my 6 month, they suggested I get a day shift at work.  So I went to my doctors and had her check me over and suggested it to her.  Apparently she has no problems with accommodating me for that.  I can't wait to only have day shifts.  Maybe I will start losing more weight again.  I find when I'm on day shifts i don't eat a lot.  So maybe I will be back on a normal schedule.

Problem, is will my work accomodate me?  I sure hope so, because I have it doctor notorized.  After all this hard work, and determination, I feel like I'm slipping back and i don't want all this to be for nothing.  I do know that I currently have 2 Ear Infections, a throat infection and Sinutitis, so I feel like death warmed over.  The last 3 days has not been on my list of best days for the year that is for sure.  Not only that, but I just found out that they won't accept my doctor's note because it doesn't say enough on it.  Personally i don't think they should be allowed all that information, hence the personal nature.  Anyways, i'm done ranting for now.

So I went to my 6 Month checkup and I must say I'm extremely disappointed.  I didn't lose anything.  3 months, and I haven't lost anything, and even my numbers gained.  They told me not to be discouraged, but I see everyone on here and they are losing weight, and I'm just sitting here.  I asked what I'm doing wrong, but they said nothing, and that I am doing good choices in food, and it looks like I'm getting all my protien.  So WHAT IS WRONG??  I have no idea.

So we discussed what it could be, and we have it narrowed down to me working on nights and afternoons.  Because my body doesn't have any consistency, and it screws with my metabolism, not to mention the way I eat and how often.  So they would like it if I can ask my family doctor to give me a note for work to see if they can put me on days so that I can get a good rhythm going. I find I have harder times getting to the gym, due to the parking and getting up early because I don't get home until midnight and then I'm up until 2am-3am, trying to relax.

What is really stressing me out, is I feel like I'm getting nowhere!  Almost like I did this for nothing.  I think I need help
I really hope my doctor will write me that note, because I really want to be able to go to the gym everyday, and start on a definite schedule.  Anyways I have to run, I have work to do.
 

So not yesterday but the day before I went to the gym.  Let me tell you.  I was rocking.  I was going like a madwoman on the Elliptical trainer.  I burned like 570 calories, and I was so proud of myself. The next day let me tell you, I was so sore!  I could barely move my legs, let alone my knees.  My knees are aching so bad, that I have been popping pain meds like mad.

So I took a day off from the gym to let my knees recuperate.  However that is not going to stop me.  So today, I went to the gym and did 42 mins on the elliptical and tomorrow I'm going to do atleast 50mins.  Then back to my hour that I did the other day.
I tell you, I will win this battle.  I haven't decided to put weights back into my schedule due to the fact that I think I'm more concerned in losing weight, than toning right now.

As for toning I'm using the cream, and lathering that on after my showers, so i hope that will help.  It can't hurt anything that is for sure.  I'm sure they will not be happy with my overall weight loss come my 6 months check up in February 7th.  I'm down another 0.5lbs, not a big change, but one I'm still happy to record.  I'm taking more care in watching what I'm eating.  So hopefully between writing it down and getting it in my belly, it will help also.  Anyways I gotta run, work and all is calling

Ok, so today has been fun.  I haven't had orange juice in a very long time, and I decided with breakfast/lunch, that I would have some prior to eating.  That was the biggest mistake of my life.  Orange juice does not work well with my stomach.  It must be too acidic, because OMG, I felt like I had a fire inside of me.  Not to mention my turkey bacon and egg 1/2 of sandwich didn't stay down.  

Now my tummy is all in a fuss.  Note to self...NO ORANGE JUICE!!  Oww...  

It has begun!!  I know it is not much but to me 1 pound is amazing since I haven't lost anything in about 3 months.  Finally this cardio stuff is starting to pay off.  I think I'm going to finally start losing it again.  This makes me extremely happy and more motivated than ever to get back to the gym!  I have been going pretty much 3 out of the 5 days a week for sure, but I took a week off when I got sick and now I'm going back, and hitting the sauna also. Which I have never been able to do before without crawling back out within 2 minutes.  Now I'm sitting in there for at least 20 minutes or more relaxing and loving the feeling of the heat on my body.  Getting rid of all those icky toxins.  I wonder if I could handle a steam room. That is something I have never, ever been able to enter one without having problems, but I'm dying to try it now.

 

I have made it up to 50 minutes for cardio now and I have been able to get my heart rate up to 150-170 beats per minute without being light headed, that in itself is a miracle to me. As it is, I have now got more motivation to continue on this trek! I'm hoping that with this added exercise I will be able to jog one day.  Not that I have to run a marathon or anything like that but have enough endurance to play soccer with my nephew and niece when she gets older.  We'll have to see how things pan out.  I would love a baby in a few years also.  Since I can't try for one until after 2 years have gone by, but it will be hard.  I don't know if it will be a possibility since I'll be 37 by then.  One can always hope. 

So yesterday was my 5 months and I have to say I haven't lost anything in the last 2 months.  I'm very disappointed in myself.  I know I have cheated a time or two, but nothing so severe that it would stop me all together from losing more weight.  I feel like I'm stuck and I have no idea what to do.

I know I'm getting depressed over it, because I'm constantly hungry.  I don't want to do anything, even though I keep pushing myself to get to the gym.  I have been going to the gym since the beginning of the year and they have incorporated weights with my cardio, and I know I haven't lost anything if anything I have gained a tiny bit.

I have my appointment for 6 Months next month and I want to show them and myself that I'm doing good, but I feel like such a failure right now.  I don't know what to do about it.  Maybe I'm eating to many carbs.  I'm able to get all my protein in, in a day but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I think I'm going to have to write a food diary again, and keep track of that stuff, because I feel like I have lost my way.

Grumpy and tired, doesn't seem to help either...it just sucks that i was going through clothes left right and center and now I'm stuck.   

So, it's coming down the crunch, and New Years is coming fast.  Thank goodness I have already gotten my gym membership, and had my first appointment with my trainer MaryLynne.  She is amazing!  She is a body builder, and one would never know how old she is because she is in such good shape.  However,  I know I will never look anything like that and I'm glad I won't, but I must say I'm a little jealous. 

So starting Sunday I'm hoping that I will have a regular schedule set to going to the gym.  I'm looking at to go atleast 3-4 times a week.  I need to get into a habit of going.  ONce I left there yesterday afternoon, I felt amazing!!  However this morning I"m sore.  I think I might have pulled something in my arm, so I hope that will go away.

I haven't lost anything in a long time.  It's probably due to the fact that I haven't been exercising.  Another thing that is starting to worry me is that I have noticed I can eat more now.  I'm not getting full as fast.  Not to mention I seem to be getting hungry more often.  I don't like it.  I'm worried I'm going to put back on the weight.

Anyways I have work to do.  

So I know I haven't been around lately, and that is partly due to the fact that I have been busy.  But I just haven't had the umf for it, you know?  I'm finally going back to work now, and things there are ok for the moment.  I'm doubting it will last but one can really never know.  If I had it my way I would leave this area and actually go out west.  But I'm currently stuck here with trying to pay these bills that have racked up over the last year.  

So the main reason I'm writing, is because I had my 3 month follow up.  
My iron is low, so I'm back on iron again, and to combat my hair falling out I'm going on Zinc.  Other than that my body loves me and I have lost 15 pounds since my one month followup.  She said that means I'm losing 1.9 pounds a week and she is happy with that outcome.  I'm wanting it to be much faster of course, but it has taken many years to get this big, so I'm assuming it is going to take a few to get them off.

Also I've been having problems with my bowels, so I'm currently taking stuff for that now too.  Hopefully, things will go back to normal and my ass will not hurt...lol  Looks like I'm off to get prunes... yuck!  So I"m currently 263lbs.  I have been in a lull though for the last two weeks.  I think it's because I'm not doing anything other than sitting at work.  I'm so emotionally whipped by the time I get home I just don't want to walk or do anything other than sleep.  Not to mention with it getting darker out it makes me a bit more depressed.  Apparently though I'm being told we are going prune shopping at Costco, so I have to cut this short.  But if anyone knows some ideas on how to boost my ass into exercising more that would be great.  Maybe I just need a workout partner to kick my ass in gear...sighs..

Well it is almost that time, where I finally am able to go back to work however I still do not have my license back.  This make it extremely hard for me to get to and from work.  I dont' know what I'm going to do.  Not to mention my car is having problems.  I wish  could find a job in St. Catharines so I didn't have to go all the way to Niagara Falls.  Then I could use the bus system and save.

On a good note I'm finally going down again.  I have been sick for a bit with a cold and mother nature and I got in a rut where I didn't want to do anything.  So I wasn't losing weight.  Also I have been having problems with going to the bathroom.  It seems I'm getting a lot more constipated lately.  So I have increased my fibre, and it makes my stomach upset.  I'm not sure what I going to do about that.

On the bright side I'm down from a 26size pants to 22, but even those are getting big on me.  So I'm sure if I tried I would be in a 20.  I'm really happy about that.  I really in a way can't wait to go back to work, because I want to get a gym membership somewhere so that I can lose more weight.  Even if it meant I go to the gym prior to work or right afterwards.  I just really need to get moving.  Today I have raked the leaves, weed wacked, and cut the grass.  I have dishes to do still and laundry.  If I have time I will take out the garbage.  Anyways, I'm off hopefully with an incentive to do more stuff.  Maybe even take a walk. :)