timsdanni

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I was thinking the other day and I think I have figured out why I eat all day long - I don't eat huge amounts and I stay active enough to maintian my weight loss so I'm not worried about the grazing but they why intersted me - I am aftaid to get hungry - I over eat when I get hungry - how is that for twisted thinking but I guess it's ok since  it works for me

ok back to school work - story of my life but I'm going to get that degree - AA in Feb and then BS then masters and a few years latter I WILL have my PhD!!!

I am feeling pretty good - am getting the whole single mom thing functioning - Debbi came out last weekend and that helped boost me way up emotionally. Then Bender got on the boards and had lost 11 pounds last week -if she can do it so can I!!! was up 5 from the bottom of my bounce zone when I started down to -2 this am - tracking everything in fitday - finally figured out a good trick for me - plan my meals for the next day onpaper then enter them all into fitday- adjust to my liking and then zero it all out - then as I eat the next day all i have to do is add the amount istead of hunting for what I ate

today it's 10:30 and I am on my 3rd snack/meal - protien shake, luna bar, now shirmp and cocktail sauce - walked 30 mins and then nursed for a good 20 after just having my shake so I was STARVING and shaky  - swapped my high fiber bar for the luna bar. and grabbed my shrimp suppose to be eaten at 11 now - I ate part of them but got full -will keep munching - I am defintally feeling mr pouch better - love that restriction feeling

have my first asignment done today - waiting for Tim to get on line - should be any min so I don't want to start the next one yet - it is fairly involved- I am loving school and but find myself getting upset over anything under 100% so I am TRYING to adjust with a goal of 95% I am at 96 in one class and 98 in the other.

life is good - love what you do and do what you love

Tim has been gone a week and I am hanging in there - I put on 6 pounds the last few days he was home and all but one is gone agian so I figure only about 2 were real weight the rest were water weight from eating out

my children have some unwritten rule that states if Daddy leaves town they must get hurt or sick - the farther he goes the worse they must be - there for Iraq equals pneumonia - Rach is pretty sick - thank God for Tricare so I at least am not stressing over medical bills/costs on top of a sick kid

the ft hood thing has me freaked a little - ok maybe a lot - praying all will be ok

Debbi comes for the weekend today - I can't wait

peace
Timsdanni

all my army peeps - here is a link for deployed soldiers - [email protected] they contact this gentalman who is a publisher and then will get 40+ (that is how many Tim got in less than 12 hours) emails with codes to download free ebooks - http://blog.smashwords.com/2009/09/smashwords-supports-opera tion-ebook.html
 all they ask is that you be deployed, respect the copyrights and pass them on to other soldiers  - some of the authors responded with here are the codes others with thank you for your service, here are the codes and personal notes -

copying this to my notes here and my OH profile so we don't lose it - thank you smashwords!!!

I posted this this morning in answer to a post on controlling eating - after I reread it it struck me as so very true and so I copyed it here - to reread when I need it


take your mesurements - is the growth in your arms and thighs - muscle or is in your gut- fat? you don't have to tell me or goerge (unless he is your accountablity person) or the board in general but YOU MUST BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!!!!

then you have to decide what your limits are - I am stress eating right now - my limits are that I have to have my protien shakes and have to fix the kids at least one healthy meal - and I can not eat till I am sick  - ok not much of limits but they are keeping me pretty well in check

chocolate, cheese burgers and cheetos are not in and of themselves "bad" or "evil" foods - they are poor choices for a reg diet but not for an ocasional treat - can you do the 80% rule? 80% of the time you eat right and you aren't allowed to beat yourself up for the other 20% of eating

can you have that control? the control of SELF that says yes today I feel like crap and I am going to eat crappy food but next meal I will eat better OR yes I want chocolate and that dark choc over there is wonderful tasting, I can have it as soon as I drink this choc protien shake b/c no freaking way am I eating good choc and FOLLOWING it with a protien shake

can you "treat" yourself to better quailty or more expensive protien treats? is there a cheese you love but is $10 a pound? can you satify your self with a few onces of that instead of the chocolate? how about GOOD shrimp instead of cheetos?

sometimes for me it is about eating what "I want/deserve" and my old mindset kicks in and I am eating crap but would be just as happy or happyer with the nicer things that are good for me that i don't get b/c I shop frugally

remember a HUGE part of this weight loss journey is mental - my doc used to tell everyone (probably still does just haven't seen him in years now LOL) "I fix your guts - you fix your head"


hope my ramblings help somehow
peace my friend
Danni

getting ready for Tim to leave in the next 10-20 days - know what I have to do and that is be organized and keep it together - starting to slid back toward body for life for woman - start school 2 Nov - will have Rach in childcare 3 mornings a week so I MUST take time to do school work them and the other 2 mornings we will go to the gym and do water aerobics (well I will do deep water water aerobics and she will go to childcare)  that is 5 mornings a week that I have stuff to do after I get the boys off for school - other than eat and mope, in the past when Tim has been gone my goals have always been first to lose weight second to stay mentally healthy - working it the other way around this time - must stay mentally healthy, active, eating right and interacting with other people on a reg basis and that should lead to me losing weight or at least doing some awesome muscle building and maitiance

mentally -
I need to have a schedule - schedule times to concentrate on being a good mommy, on being a student, on taking time to take care of me - pedis and manis are in the budget for this deployment for sure - I will be good to myself by making sure I eat well (limit junk carbs - increase healthy/smart carbs - get enough protein and water) and that I get some exercise EVERY SINGLE DAY to keep up my metal health - taking time to play with my kids, visit with my friends, explore the east coast and just generally be a busy active person - I function so well that way :)
physically-
I would love to drop 50 pounds - that would put me 160 or so - way lower than I have ever been in my life - but more importantly I want to put on enough muscle and lose enough fat that I have to replace all my clothes LOL and be super ready for plastics when  I finish my degree and Rach weans - will it happen I don't know - I do not know with it not being my top priority if I will invest enough metal energy into my health to make that much of a difference - I would love for it to - we will see where I am this time next year
so for now that includes deep water aerobics 2 times a week, E 4 to 6 times a week, weights at LEAST 3 days a week and walking K to and from school a total of 8 times per week - that gives me 2 slacker/opps we are running late days LOL
I KNOW that being active will help me be at my best -mentally and physically

ok maybe I just typed a metal circle but there it is - written goals for the next 12 months

oh I also want to get back to reading my scriptures (Tim got me a really nice whole bible in a year one) and living within the budget - I can't do much to make deployment nicer for Tim but I can make sure he comes home to a sane wife (as sane as I ever was ) and that we are out of debt- or close to it van payed off at least and that he can see I am working hard on my degree so we can afford to live when we get out of the army while he goes to school

settling in at Ft Stewart, boys are in school, Tim is getting ready to deploy, I am working on getting started on online college - deciding factor is going to be who can get me my degree fastest.

I am still sitting at 210, the low end of my bounce - so weight wise I am doing good - body is resettling so I am back to trying on things to see what I am going to wear

I did something I had never ever done before in my life - I cleaned my closet out and did not keep anything "that will fit when I lose 5 pounds" or 10 or 20 LOL one skort is still there that fits but is not super flattering right now - other than that everything of mine in the closet fits!!

in 3 1/2 yrs i have learned a few things - mostly that  good habits pay off

the army moved Tim there and the kids and I stayed here and finished summer school - well summer school is over wed for me and fri for K and we are outta here on fri -

my wls related goals while moving are simple - take care of me and keep maintianing
this equals - vits 3 times a day every day
4 litters of water or more
1 preferably 2 protien shakes a day
some kind of exersize every day
eating more protien than carbs - making those carbs healthyer ones
avoiding most sugars/fats that are bad for me
get some weightlifting in and not to lose the muscle tone I have worked hard for

at 3 1/2 yrs out maintance is my goal - being able to live though stressful situations (cross contry move with 3 kids while hubby is not home) with out letting old bad habits kick in

peace
Danni

got this out of prevention and changed up the sugar

1 pound strawberrys sliced
1/8 cup splenda
mix and set aside

1 6 oz (3/4 cup) plain greek yogurt
1/8 cup splenda
mix and sit in fridge

1 cup +2T flour
1/4 cup +2T wheat flour
4 T sugar
2 1/4 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
mix together then add
3 T butter cut in chunks - mix with pastry cutter or mash with fingers - when crumbly
add
1 6 oz (3/4) cup plain greek yogurt
1 t vannila

pat out of floured counter and cut into 6 pieces - bake 12-18 mins at 425 till golden brown

let cool slightly then split with fork
top with 1/6 of strawberrys and 2 T yogurt/splenda mix

I am editing to make my weights more trackable to me - last month when I started my BFL chalange I was using 10s and some 12 pound wieghts - today  15 days into my 84 I used 15s and 20s and only used the 10s once and would have used the 12s if I could have found them
so now my goal is  by the end of may to be lifting/using 30 and 35 pound dumbells with all my upper body weight lifting - kinda leary of doing the lower body tomorrow after getting hurt last week but I will be ok

random thoughts - I am happy b/c the tamales we purchased are to spicy for me to eat. a couple of years ago I would have been all kinds of upset over not getting to eat them - today I am grateful since they are not really on the list of things I am trying to eat that they are-I mean I could eat them on my free day but why?? they are 380 calories each and I can eat 3 or 4 over the course of a day - any idea how much cottage cheese, wheat berrys and berrys I would have to eat to get that many calories??? way way more and it is full of protien, healthy high fiber foods and anti toxins and vits - I could eat an IKEA cin roll for fewer calories!! ok ok so for someone who hates to count calories I am very aware of them LOL
I love seeing my body change even if the scale is being poky about moving - my life is good -I have chalanges and struggles but I also am so blessed - I have a loving family, nice home and freinds who love me and I can do most anything I want to try - although Tim would not let me try rock climbing last weekend right after I hurt my back 

life is good and I am a blessed woman