tbonedan
"What is the worth of anything we do?
The worth is in the act. Your worth halts when you surrender the will to change and experience life.
But options are before you: chose one and dedicate yourself to it. The deeds
give you new hope and purpose."
------------Christopher Paolini
11/17/05 OK, I guess it is time I write something on this darned thing:
I am starting this process at 51 yrs. of age with several co-morbitities. I have had high blood pressure for 12 years, Type II DM for 9 yrs with a progressing influx of medication and now insulin to keep it in check, I also have the accompanying GERD and Trygyliceride/cholestrerol problems. I take 10 pills a day and two shots. I have been thru the 6 month of diet classes and have been approved for surgery in mid december. The nutritionist (Sara) has been a great help and an inspiration to me.
In my never ending quest to educate myself on this WLS procedure I have been reading lots of profiles and forum posts. Last night I decided to read some of the memorials: Wow! I went to bed thinking - "Some of these people had BMI of two or even three times what I have (40.5) - do I really need this surgery?". Of course I woke up this morning realizing that with my health problems my time could be short. It has been difficult to get my wife to read much on this web site - I think I will not point her toward the memorials. She is a beautiful person and a great source of inspiration to me. I don't want her to worry too much however I do feel the need to warn her of the potential outcomes.
I am a music teacher and trombonist. My wife teaches music and my oldest son is a music major graduating next December. My middle son is majoring in History with possible teaching in the future, and my youngest wants to play bass for the rest of his life. My youngest is 16 now and I think they are all capable of understanding dad's need to have this done. Although they are concerned they seem to be ready to support me in this.
Two people close to me have had this surgery with good results - of course last night my next thought was "this means the odds are more stacked against me" --- this morning "aaah, whatever". You see, I have spent a lot of time in hospitals although not for myself. I have a wife and 3 sons - my wife has been a trouper thru all of her stuff, (me- I only had an appendectomy in 1977 - did great - was out playing a disco band gig 6 days later - had to sit on a stool but I did great). Two of my sons have been hospitalized for cancer treatments. 10 years ago my middle son was admitted to the hospital and treated with chemo the same night after a blood test showed he had raging leukemia. We had struggled with leg pain all summer and his Dr. just missed the obvious signs. 4 years after that my youngest son came down with Lymphoma. I actually took the time to write his story and post it on the internet if you want to read it.
I am starting this process at 51 yrs. of age with several co-morbitities. I have had high blood pressure for 12 years, Type II DM for 9 yrs with a progressing influx of medication and now insulin to keep it in check, I also have the accompanying GERD and Trygyliceride/cholestrerol problems. I take 10 pills a day and two shots. I have been thru the 6 month of diet classes and have been approved for surgery in mid december. The nutritionist (Sara) has been a great help and an inspiration to me.
In my never ending quest to educate myself on this WLS procedure I have been reading lots of profiles and forum posts. Last night I decided to read some of the memorials: Wow! I went to bed thinking - "Some of these people had BMI of two or even three times what I have (40.5) - do I really need this surgery?". Of course I woke up this morning realizing that with my health problems my time could be short. It has been difficult to get my wife to read much on this web site - I think I will not point her toward the memorials. She is a beautiful person and a great source of inspiration to me. I don't want her to worry too much however I do feel the need to warn her of the potential outcomes.
I am a music teacher and trombonist. My wife teaches music and my oldest son is a music major graduating next December. My middle son is majoring in History with possible teaching in the future, and my youngest wants to play bass for the rest of his life. My youngest is 16 now and I think they are all capable of understanding dad's need to have this done. Although they are concerned they seem to be ready to support me in this.
Two people close to me have had this surgery with good results - of course last night my next thought was "this means the odds are more stacked against me" --- this morning "aaah, whatever". You see, I have spent a lot of time in hospitals although not for myself. I have a wife and 3 sons - my wife has been a trouper thru all of her stuff, (me- I only had an appendectomy in 1977 - did great - was out playing a disco band gig 6 days later - had to sit on a stool but I did great). Two of my sons have been hospitalized for cancer treatments. 10 years ago my middle son was admitted to the hospital and treated with chemo the same night after a blood test showed he had raging leukemia. We had struggled with leg pain all summer and his Dr. just missed the obvious signs. 4 years after that my youngest son came down with Lymphoma. I actually took the time to write his story and post it on the internet if you want to read it.
Click here
Both boys are in remission and doing great. They both now tower over their Dr. One is 6-3 and the other 6-4. Those Dr. appointments are fun times now. Their Dr. just smiles as he does the check ups and we consider them a great success story. There is nothing like watching your child go through all those risky and painful treatments to make you berate yourself anytime you begin to show a lack of courage. I hope I can remember that when I am recovering from this process. I want to do well for them as well as myself.
11-22-05 ----- My pre-op WOW moment.
I am scheduled for surgery on 12/19. I have been reading these forums a lot lately but I thought I was pretty calm for the most part --- just calmly waiting --- you know.
Anyway, Saturday evening, late, the wife decides that we HAVE to do something about the kitchen ceiling fan. After all her sister's family of 4 and the mother-in-law are arriving for "Thanksgiving week" on Monday. Personally I think that having two of the 4 lights still working is a pretty reasonable number, even if they do flicker a little bit. Nevertheless we had been looking for a replacement light kit but with a 10 year old fan of questionable make (dare we say cheap) it was a lesson in futility.
I had great misgivings about tackling this job which showed themselves Sunday morning as I said to my wife "You know, there IS a chance that we could end up with NO light at all in the kitchen if this goes bad". She had no response to that and we immediately headed out to Home Depot to pick out a fan. After arriving home with this brand spanking new brass Hampton Bay fan that looked like it should be hanging in a castle I proceeded to put it together according to the instructions. "Wow, this is and easier job than I thought it would be" I thought as I assembled it.
Next I climbed up the ladder and proceeded to unhook the old fan (after turning off the power of course). We thought of everything - had the tools ready, extension cord to the halogen lamp plugged in to a socket that still worked. I didn't have to go back to the garage for anything. Yeah, life is good! I hadn't thought anything about this WLS thing, at least not until I dropped the fan down low enough to begin unhooking the 14 thousand wires that were in the box. My giant hands and chubby fingers were just not fitting into that tiny space. WLS immediately popped into my mind as being a solution. (I should mention here that the day before I changed the plugs on the Honda Van and although I dreaded not being able to reach the far other side - the wonderful engineers at Honda actually made this job easy to do). I carried this confidence on into Sunday except there was that one "feeling" I had expressed when I woke up.
As I was trying to remember how everything was hooked up (there are two switches that operate this unit) one of the wires popped down from the box and just hung there, looking me in the face going "nyahh-nyahh". I looked up into the box and said "it is a white wire, it must have come from there" and proceeded with unhooking the fan. Everything was going so well!
I proceeded to finish assembling the new fan, hooked it up (carefully following the directions), assembled the light kit, hooked it up (carefully following the directions) and got all of the fan blades attached. I called downstairs to have the wife turn on the breaker and.............Nothing!
Wouldn't work.
After carefully dis-assembling the top of the fan and untaping all of my wire nuts I checked my connections and decided that all four of those wires I had hooked up must not be making a good connections so I unhooked all of my connections and VERY CAREFULLY twisted them onto better wire nuts. I knew better this time - turn on the power, pull the cords, flip the switches-----Nothing.
In my 3rd attempt I carefully dis-assembled the fan and drove to the hardware store to buy a circuit tester to replace the one that I knew was hiding in a drawer somewhere in my house. I unhooked, again all of those wires and checked them for voltage finding the ONE hot wire in the junction box. (Every other wire in that box had some other purpose than providing power to that fan) I MADE SURE I had the fan power supply wires hooked to that wire and the ground and common hooked up to wires that my tester told me should work. You guessed it -- it didn't work --- by this time my WOW moment occurred --- I started banging my ladder with the screw driver and saying sh**! sh**! sh**! sh**!. My wife looked up at me and said "WOW" and I knew I had gone too far. This was my "wow" moment. I spent most of the rest of the afternoon between glancing at the TV to watch the Steelers make as** of themselves and putting on childish displays like the one above. I guess I am a little stressed -- as of yet I am not sure if it is the surgery - the impending full house of relatives for a week - or a combination of both. I want my kids around me right now, I am not sure I want 20 thousand people in a small box of a house. In the last few years I have become claustrophobic. Will losing weight help that? BTW, what is it with all the people using "loosing" weight instead of "losing". Am I missing something here? A joke? A reference to something else? A serious lack in my spelling classes in elementary school?
To finish the tale - in my fourth attempt I called my dad and got more advice (which of course resulted in constant phone calls from him over the next two days to see "how I was progressing"). It didn't work either. I went in to watch the end of the Steelers game which of course helped my mood a lot -- Thank you Tommy Maddox!!!! A little later I decided to try one more thing and hooked up the hot wire and a common that I hadn't used yet and when I put up just the fan motor - it ran (there were no switches hooked in at this time but I didn't care). Eureka!!! I proceeded to hook up the complete fan for a hopefully final time and turned on the power (sans blades attached). It worked! I hooked up the light kit - with one bulb, turned on the power - it worked! (although the bulb seemed way too low of a wattage). I bit the bullet and assembled the complete fan again and turned on the power, turned on the fan - it worked, turned on the lights and they came on really dim--- sputtered a few times and then the fan and lights quit working completely. I tested the breaker - got the fan working - turned on the lights and it wasn't getting enough power to run -- obviously it wasn't right yet. This was a Duh? moment.
The next day at work it came to me what I must do to get the fan working without the switches. I ran home hooked it back up and it worked. I cleaned up my tools, cleaned the mess in the kitchen, washed my hands and ......the realtives walked in saying "wow nice fan! We heard you had a lot of problems with it" (this from my handyman brother in law although he admits he doesn't do electrical). At least it works (although I am at work now and my house may be burning to the ground as I type this) My youngest son kept flipping the wall switch and wondering what the heck was going on. I really got a kick out of sending him to the hallway to "turn on the fan". My father and other (electrical savy) brother in law will arrive on Thursday. Oh boy! Maybe between them we can get this 2 switch wiring figured out. Whoever originally wired it didn't do it in the conventional way because my kitchen porch light is now out also.
The wow moment for me was to come to terms with the hidden stress that is lurking in me right now. My wife is the nicest, most beautiful, loving woman in the world. I just hope she doesn't ask me to do any more electrical work.
11-22 Later in the day
No phone calls yet informing me any problems with the town's electrical supply or fires.
I have come to a couple of conclusions about this website:
1. The "regular" (/amos) forum is really the Women's forum even if they don't call it that. The women outnumber the men for this surgery by a tremendous percentage. I suspect that most men in the general public would consider it a "vanity" type surgery. A real man would just suck it up and die of "fat" I guess. Not me, I wanna have a chance at a decent quality of life before I go. The arthritis in my hip is a good thing for me to experience what the rest of my life is gonna be like if I don't do something. I want the chance to make it better.
2. Alot of people that post on the forums need a lot of attention. Some of them have really small insignificant issues and make a big deal out of them. (Like I did for a short time about the fan? huh) In general, life is too short and fragile to sweat the small stuff. I have to remember that. I don't want to be a whiner. If anyone sees this and sees me whining on the forum - send an email to my wife and tell her to beat me with a club. She wouldn't do that but maybe she could talk the dog into biting me. I like my cat better anyway. I am Mr food and Mr. Playtime to my cat. She "yeowwwws" at me as soon as I get near her cat dish. Honestly, I love the attention. I gotta get some batteries for my laser pointer. She loves that.
Does God control our lives?
A guy named Fat Tony posted on here the other day that God doesn't want him to have this surgery because the sale of his car didn't go thru on ebay to pay for it. He will probably never see this but I wanted very badly to tell Fat Tony that if he is gonna call the fact that he can't sell his car on ebay a message from god to not get the surgery- then he might as well say that god wants him to die of obesity. Why doesn't he quit making any kind of decisions in life - and flip a coin, and call it all god's message to him. I just got frustrated reading his postings yesterday. God gave us "will", we should use it.
My personal belief is that God does not get involved in our own personal decisions. God does not "give us" challenges or experiences. God does not give us diseases or take them away. His gift to us, called LIFE, does that. God sits back and watches the show - expects us to make something of ourselves, wants us to make moral choices and decisions, and when the going gets tough - have us show enough fortitude to persevere and come to the realization that it is ALL a gift. The tuff times and the good times are all life's experiences. How would you know when something really good happens to you - if you didn't have something bad to compare it to. It is all part of this journey we call life. God won't do for us what we won't do for ourselves.
I have watched people suffer physically and emotionally and I know we are all headed that way. That should make life a more precious gift. I am thankful for what I have been given in my life and I am not sure I would change any of it - even the bad. It has all been a gift to me and has made me the person I am. Besides ---- I can now go home and ENJOY a ceiling fan and light that I put up -- whether it works with the switches or not --- dagnabbit!
What do I want out of all of this?
The only reason I know what I weigh is because the Dr. weighs me. I learned to hate scales early on. I often broke them. Don't care, don't want to know.
What I do hope for is to see those clothes sizes coming down and that arthritic hip to free itself up, to see myself taking less medication, and to cope by being as little of a Pain in the a** to my family while I adjust.
I hope I don't whine too much and that I can see through all of this to the more important things and people in my life.
Oh yeah, I don't wanna throw up or pass gas in front of my students. I gonna have to be REAL careful in how I eat. Elementary kids don't take kindly to teachers that do that kind of stuff.
I have to say though, there has been more than one time that one of my band students has blown a little too hard on a flute or trumpet and "let one go" as it were. We try to play on thru......I hope they can do the same if it happens to me. Then again maybe I can ignore it and they will blame each other. ;-)
Dec. 6th 2005 - two weeks until surgery.
Went to get pre-op blood work, chest xray, etc. My PCP decided at the last minute that he would throw a Stress test in there -- had trouble getting it scheduled but I found a cardiologist that could fit me in at a different hospital. I almost missed it because the wonderful registration staff at Shadyside forgot to tell I had to go downstairs. I waited and waited and finally went up to the desk and found out "Oh, you are supposed to go down to another office". Once I got there the receptionist said "Dr. was already here and waiting. We assumed you weren't coming and he went back to his office". They weren't sure he would have time to come back over to the hospital but he did and I got it done. I got stressed even before I got on the tredmill. 6 years ago I had a stress test done and found out that I am extremely claustrophobic now. I didn't used to be - I went spelunking in college and it didn't bother me at all.
Just before the test the Cardiologist asked "Why are you doing this surgery? You are not that heavy". Wow, just what I needed. As I drove home I went thru the the reasons just to solidify myself on this decision. 10 years of type II diabetes with an A1C running 8-10 everytime it was tested. Blood pressure medication for 15+ years. High Lipids and cholesterol, arthritis setting in due to stress of weight. Yep, I need to do this.
12/12/05 (one week to scheduled surgery)
My oldest son was home this weekend and asking questions about the risks of this surgery. I think he wanted to know if I knew them and was preparing myself properly for the surgery. He also stated that he would be very angry at me if I died. I told him that this would piss me off also and he had every right to be angry. I mentioned that as it is, I could drop dead tomorrow or I could slowly waste away with Dr's cutting off pieces of me due to my blood sugar problems. I assured him that I felt that it was an acceptable risk and that I made sure I was with a respected Dr. that was very experienced at this procedure which would make my odds much better. My middle son (at U of Mich) emailed us this past weekend about whether he was not sure he was going to go on the bowl trip with the band. I hope he is not considering not going because of me - maybe it was not such a good idea to schedule this now. I want my kids to go on with their lives and not worry about me.
If a meteor were to strike me right now I would still want them to continue on with their lives. Life is short, have fun, grieve as little as possible and get back to living. In truth, I have had a wonderful life since I got married. It is easy to get sidetracked into focusing on the dark stuff around you. That is B*** Sh**! If there is a Devil then that is where he resides- in your own fears, self doubts, and depression. The journey is the thing - there really is no goal (as much as our minds try to create one), there is only what happens to us as we travel the path. I would not change a thing in the past - for fear of changing what I have now.
12/18/05
Well it is the day before my surgery. I drove to Ann Arbor to pick up my middle son. It was an 11 hr. drive and I worried about if my hip would be hurting by the time I got back (they took me off celebrex several days ago) but I held up pretty good.
I was talking to two of my sons this morning and I told them that I was going to be more like the cat than the dog in my eating habits from now on. The dog eats everything that could be considered people food. He will turn up his nose at dog food until he is absolutely sure there is nothing else coming his way and then grudgingly eat it. However if it is people food, no matter what it is, he will scarf it down like he is starving. We have had a lot of fun experimenting with him. If it goes into our mouths he will eat it.
The cat on the other hand is about 8 years old and still looks not much bigger than a kitten. We picked the runt of the litter and she remains that way. We have found that if she eats anything but catfood she will urp. Even with cat food we can only feed her about 7 pieces at a time - or she will urp.
My son David demonstrated the cat's "urping" style and everyone found it amusing. He wanted to know if I was going to leave little surprises on the rug downstairs for him to step in. Steven wanted to know if it will progress to my going in the closets and peeing on their suitcases and piles of dirty clothes. (The cat had a urinary infection one time that oddly exhibited itself in this way). I told him no but I hoped (secretly) I someday don't get to that point.
I have David convinced that the worse part of this whole process will be later today when I have to drink the "crap your ass off" gallon sized cocktail. He is finding that quite amusing. We laughed last night when I told them I would leave a little bit for their older brother in the fridge with a label that says "Dad's Margarita mix". Being 21, Robert likes to avail himself of a little bit of Dad's alcohol every once in a while. Everyone thought that was quite good one.
My wife has been a big help keeping me on an even keel these past few weeks. I hope I don't put too much stress on her over these next steps. I have to keep looking at the big picture ha-ha.
I have told very few people I am going to have this procedure. I just don't want a lot of questions and second guessing. Honestly I am not even sure I want to weigh myself. I am more concerned about improving those co-morbidities. I want to keep thinking about how bravely my children were when they went through what they did.
Reminders to myself:
Don't be a PITA,Don't be a PITA, Don't be a PITA, Don't be a PITA, Don't be a PITA,........
12/24 Flatulence is a good thing! I went in for surgery on Monday morning and by Tuesday morning I was wanting to pass gas badly ---- it was the focus of my life. Here is the story....
I was scheduled for the first WSL surgery of the day on Dec. 19th. I didn't know it at the time and while I was in the pre-op area in my fashionable hospital gown lying on the bed I heard a guy down the hall in a state of extreme nausea. It sounded terrible. I started thinking "Oh no! Did that guy just have the surgery? Am I going to come out of surgery in that condition? Aaaah!" The next time the anesthesia nurse walked in I calmly inquired if I was the first scheduled surgery of the day. I was relieved to find out I was. I guess that guy had the flu. I didn't want to face some sort of staple destroying nausea right out of surgery. Everyone preparing me for the surgery was very calm and cool. As they were wheeling me into the surgery area they asked my wife to take my glasses. I told the anesthesia nurse that I would like Dr. Q to speak to me when he enters the room because since I couldn't see him I would only to recognize his English accent. He thought that was amusing.They moved me to the table and began strapping my arms down to the sides, I took several deep breaths and the next thing I know......"Daniel? Are you feeling any pain?"
Duh, yeah!
"On a scale of one to 10 how would you rate it?"
Even in this situation I couldn't make up my mind "Uh, 6 to 8".
This went on a couple more times until they got enough morphine in me to make me forget to answer.
Things sound so loud,bright and busy when you are waking up from anesthesia.
I remember the move to my room and the lights and bumps, especially one really big bump. They gave me a pillow for that bump and said hold on to the pillow because this is the biggest bump in the hospital. Immediately after going over that bump we entered my room. That bump was to pester me for the rest of my stay in the hospital. EVERY thing that went over the bump went clang-bang and some of the heavier stuff actually shook the floor. It was right outside my door! I was jolted out of sleep dozens of times a night in between all of those visits by nurses for vitals, lab work, medications etc. Needless to say I didn't sleep well in the hospital.
I remember being hooked up to the morphine pump and being told "you can use this button every 6 minutes to get a little tiny dose of morphine to manage your pain". I took that as an instruction to push the button every six minutes so I did. Like clockwork I stared at the clock and pushed. I had a responsible roll in my own care and I wasn't going to shirk it. Meanwhile my wife sat in the chair and worked on her needlepoint hearing a small "chirp" every six minutes for the next few hours. I soon noticed that I didn't get a chirp, I figured I must have pushed too early, I waited, watched the clock, pushed and ..... nothing. I went thru this sequence several times until my brain realized that I had not been getting a chirp for the last 10 or so times. I called the nurse and told them there was something wrong with my morphine pump. They came in and checked it and informed me I had used it all up. It was empty. It had been an hour since I had received any morphine and I was surprised I didn't feel much pain. They hooked up some more but I didn't use it until a couple of hours later and even then the pain wasn't too bad. I thought to myself "hey this isn't bad, this surgery is going to be a breeze". Later that evening I dosed myself a couple of times and then got out of bed to walk down the hall with my wife and a nurse in tow. Pain wasn't much but I was surprised how wobbly my knees felt. I didn't go far that evening but I went to bed feeling that I was lucky and feeling almost no discomfort at all. Somewhere around that time the headaches began that were to pester me for the next two days. I believe these were a result of the anesthesia, the morphine, and/or the cement bed I was sleeping on.
I didn't sleep well in the hospital. Did I say that? I tried to call it a night about 8:45 that first evening and I attempted to sleep. I remember waking up and it being still dark and not being able to see the clock because I didn't have my glasses on. I went back to sleep, woke up, sleep, wake....on and on until I was sure that the reason it wasn't daylight was because the drapes were pulled too tight. I put on my glasses turned on the light and lo and behold..... 11:30 p.m.!
The rest of the night was worse - it was the longest night of my life. No problem - I could deal with it - after all if everything went well I would be outta here on Wed. morning. The next day, Tuesday, was great. Not much pain, lots of walking and laughing with my sons that came to visit, more walks with the love of my life and my first calorie meals of apple juice and popsicles. It was a really good day. I had a visit from a family friend and scared her and my wife a little bit with my blue lips and tongue from the blueberry popsicle I had just eaten. Did I say it was a great day? The only problems were that I had a persistent slight headache and some muscle pain in my neck from that blasted bed and pillows. Just couldn't get comfortable. By this time the nurses weren't really paying much attention to me - I wasn't needing much and my wife was with me most of the day. I tried to get to sleep about 10 that evening and had actually succeeded when a nurse came popping in like a whirlwind saying "here is your lipitor!" and leaving just as quickly. Being a good patient (but sound asleep) I dutifully popped the pill into my mouth and suddenly came full awake realizing that this pill was a horsepill. I had been on 80 mg tablets of lipitor up to this time and that is a horsepill. Somehow thru the stupor of sleep my brain intervened and saved me from swallowing that hole plugger. The next time an aide came in my room (a previous RNY person) I told her about the pill and she upon looking at it said "Oh no, you can't take that. I will let the nurse know." Shortly after that I encountered nurse with attitude. She broke the pill in half (although it was really about 60/40) and said "there, that is the size of a jujubee. You can take that". I disagreed with her. After she left (in a little bit of a huff) I took a long look at those two jagged pieces and decided to do what my grandmother did in the hospital. I emptied the cup into the drawer and left the empy cup on top of the stand so it looked like I took the pill. I decided to wait until I saw the Dr. to ask about that size pill. After all, it was just lipitor. I have missed them before.
There must be some demon lurking in the halls to find patients that are giving the nurses a hard time because he got back at me later that night. After the usual night of waking up every 15 minutes and staring at the clock I got the urge to urinate and got out of bed to go to the bottle in the bathroom around 4 a.m. While I was doing my best at filling the bottle I suddenlyt became very queasy and lightheaded. My skin started to become clammy and I almost passed out. I made it back to bed and instead of calling the nurse I decided to see if lying down would help. About 40 minutes later this episode started again while I was lying down and I decided to call a nurse and tell them I almost passed out. One came in and looked me over and before i knew it there were 5 in there strapping me up to a heart monitor, checking my blood sugar, heart rate, BP etc. During this time my bed became soaked with the sweat running off of my body, my legs were shaking, chilling, my blood pressure went up to 170/130, my heart rate dropped down to 43 and I felt the sickest I have ever felt in my life. I got a shot of zofran for the nausea and they sent for blood work, exrays, etc while asking me if I had any chest pain. My first thougth was blood sugar but they had checked it twice and it was actually a little high. A couple of the nurses were a little worried while the rest of them were trying to calm me down and suggesting that the others not upset me anymore. While they did gain more control over what they let me see, I could tell that they were worried. They kept asking if I felt any tightness in my chest. Once they got me hooked up to the canula on oxygen I seemed to feel better and my heart rate went back up. When the blood labwork and xrays came back the only thing they showed was that I had a build up of some gas in my abdomen. I thought it was really stupid of them to focus on my gas when I felt so ill. Was I bleeding internally? Was I having a pain free heart attack? A low blood sugar episode that didn't show on the monitor (like I had seen on an episode of "House" one night)?
The real disappointment was that even though I had felt great up to that point, and even though I had tried to be a good patient, I probably wasn't going home as I had planned. A little while later Dr. Q and his assistant Karen showed up and his words to me were "I think they pushed the button on you too soon this morning. This is likely gas. You had a vasovagal episode. We will keep you one more day but this is just gas." As he left the room I looked over at Karen and said "you mean I just...." "yep" she said with a smile, "you have to fart. This is more common than you think". For the rest of the day I took only two doses of Roxicet because I didn't want anything to slow down the recovery of my new plumbing in getting that gas out. I didn't want to go through that again. I spent most of the day pacing the floor, walking, changing positions in the bed, using the bed as a tilt table, life my legs, spreading my cheeks, ANYTHING to get that gas out.
In typical fashion my sons were both disappointed I wasn't coming home and amused at the attempts I was making to fart. My youngest on the way home asked his mom "but what if he farts in his sleep and no one hears it?" Eventually, about 11:15 pm I had a small toot and a big smile on my face. By the next morning I was a regular belly gurgling gas factory which hasn't stopped up to this point.
I hindsight I do remember being this sick. Several years ago I became very ill, with chills, lightheadedness and weird belly pain with nausea. I ended up going to the hospital where the ER doc informed me I was having a less common presentation of what was probably a kidney stone. He gave me a shot of a medication called Toprilol? and said if that is what it is this will fix it and sure enough the sick terrible feeling went away. He explained to me then that any swellings or distension in the abdomen can irritate the vagal nerve. This nerve is responsible for a lot of responses in the body including fainting, nausea, swallowing, heart rate etc. When this nerve is irritated it can cause all kinds of weird responses.
I came home on Wednesday and have been feeling pretty good since then. My boys are all home from college and I am enjoying my 2 ounces of juice or regular popsicles 4 times a day. It is good to be home and last night I had the best night of sleep. I only got up once. My belly still speaks to me but that is a great trade off to be able to sleep up next to my wife again.
BTW -- a big THANK YOU to all of the people that sent good wishes my way. It was much appreciated.
12/27/2005
Have 1 week appt. with Dr. tomorrow. Interested to see what he says.
Sent one son off to Bowl game, other to Florida and will be giving driving lesson today to third. Been feeling pretty good.
Something weird happened last night while I was sleeping. I had the usually pain in my middle right side when I tried to get comfortable. This is about the only reason I feel it necessary to keep taking the pain meds. During the night the whalesongs began as usual and I got up to release a large amount of gas. When I went back to bed the usual pain of getting in wasn't there and as I got up thru the night I noticed that I was able to sleep on either side with almost no pain.
I walked at the mall this morning and still felt a slight pulling in the usual spot but I am amazed at the disappearance of the usual pain in the night. I was very gassy during the night. Did this have anything to do with it?
My wife has become a master of distraction. When she gets ready to make breakfast she will bring me a cup of broth so I am not distracted by the smell of bacon.
Went to a friends house to play dominos last evening. It was a little tough seeing everybody snack down on cheese, sausage log, crackers, cookies etc. I made a cup of broth and dealt with it but I don't want to put myself in that situation too much - at least until I am given permission to eat cheese etc. Maybe next week?
1/01/06 Happy New Year!
I have been eating soft pureed foods and for the most part it has been great. We went to the store after my appt. and I never had so much fun picking out baby food and deviled ham, bean w/bacon soup etc.
The first day (Dec. 28th) I decided to "run" for dairy, literally. I knew that since my intestines hadn't been exposed to dairy in the past couple of weeks that it might be rough and the first evening was. I started out the morning with a scrambled egg and it went down great. In fact, it was really good. I was careful to chew well, eat slow and I kind of use my teeth as a strainer to make sure the food is well chewed before i swallow. I followed that up a half hour later with a Carnation SF instant breakfast made with skim milk. Lunch was delicous - we mashed some Campbells bean with bacon soup and added a spoonful of Underwood deviled ham to the mix. Tasty! Half hour later I did my protein duty and forced down a ProPerformance Chocolate Carmel flavored drink with skim. A few hours later my stomach began rumbling and, as predicted, the race began. After many trips to read "Uncle John's Bathroom reader" I decided to hold off on the dairy for a day. The next day was uneventful and most foods I tried worked fine. I did no dairy or protein drink that day however. I DID run by GNC and pick up some chewable acidophulus. The day after that I started dairy again and before each ingestion of dairy I was sure to chew my new tablets and they did the trick. I have renamed that product to acidophilbetter. Tried making beef stew out of filet mignon pieces and after grinding I didn't want to eat it because the steak was still very fibrous. Tried taking the vegetables out and adding some baby food beef and it was NOT good. Baby food meat just doesn't cut it.
4th day of pureed, today, I have ingested dairy again without chewing the tablets to see what would happen -- it has been a good day so far. Went to a friends house last evening for new years eve and actually had a 4th meal of salmon mixed with small amount (tsp) of cream cheese, and cream cheese/cool whip and SF lemon jello powder mix for a treat. Too much cream cheese I know, but it was delicious and worked out well digestion wise. Today I can recommend the Old El Paso brand fijoles with chili's. They are pretty good except that some of the chili peppers in the mashed beans have pieces of coarse hulls. I just strain them out with my teeth and take them out before swallowing. The deviled ham works well with the eggs in the morning as well.
Started using fitday.com and it seems that this will be easier for me to keep track of how much protein etc. I am getting in. School starts tomorrow and I am going to take another week off until I get a better handle on the food thing. I just want to have the routine of drinking and eating down and be confident that I won't run to the bathroom all day. I am hoping these protein drinks will work at school. Physically I feel I could handle the day - just not sure about the eating.
David opened one of my bowls of mashed bean and deviled ham in the fridge the other day and commented that he didn't know if it was my food or the cats. I guess Kelly (the cat) and I are alot alike in our eating habits after all - our food even looks the same.
1/08/2006
Gotta quit checking the scale (I said I wouldn't do that) it is frustrating to go a couple of days with no change.
We got an offer for a cheap rate at the hotel in Wheeling Island (a casino in WV) so we went of Friday night and had a great time playing the nickel slots.
I lost about 6 bucks and the wife (as usual) won 8. She is lucky that way. It was weird going in to restruants and only ordering a single scrambled egg. I did try some corned beef hash and it went down well but probably had way more fat than I should have had.
I have been walking about 30-40 minutes a day and feel pretty good. Going back to work tomorrow. Kind of looking forward to it.
My wife was whipping up some pizzas for the family told and told me not to fret, she had a dish for me too. What she came up with was this. I have dubbed it Pizagna (Piss-ahn-ya Italian pronunciation of course ;-) )
Lite rocotta cheese (8g of protein per 1/4 cup)
fresh grated parmesan
small bit of low fat mozzarella
my favorite pizza sauce
She coated bottom of a small baking dish with a tb sp of pizza sauce (I like Chef Boyardee pizza mix sauce)
mixed parm cheese, and italian blend of Mozzarella, romano and provolone in with ricotta and some seasoning (garlic powder, basil and oregano) and spread evenly over sauce (you can add an egg to the rocotta if you wish)
spread a little sauce on top with more of grated parmesan cheese mixture and baked in oven about 15-20 minutes.
It looked like a pizza and tasted like lasagna
It was delicious --- I didn't even want a bit of that pizza after eating.
We figure that variations could include:
if you can tolerate it add"
little tiny bits of pepperoni for flavor
or roasted red pepper
or creamed spinach
1/10/05
After my wifes Pizagna recipe of the other day I anxiously awaited another winner. Tonight I got it.
Poor Man's Steak - (Amish? recipe)
This uses ground beef but the recipe tenderizes it so that the meat was very soft. I ate this 3 weeks post op. I chewed very well of course.
1 lb Ground beef
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1 cup cracker crumbs
1 sm onion chopped fine
Can of Cream of Mushroom soup*
Mix 1st 6 ingredients well in a bowl. Shape into a narrow loaf pan. Lit sit for at least 8 hrs or overnight. (Milk tenderizes the beef)
Slice into pieces and fry until brown
Place slices in layer in roaster.
Spread each slice with mushroom soup
Bake 1 hr at 350
*Can use pan gravy or cream of celery instead of Mushroom soup
I followed this up with another concoction of my own -
I took a Tablespoon of Smuckers Natural peanut butter and spread it on a plate
I warmed it in the Microwave for a few seconds (you have to store this stuff in fridge)
I sprinkled it with a packet of splenda
and WOW it was great!
Had my second day at work today - lost a couple of band kids. They were kind of teetering on the edge due to lack of practice anyway and I guess the 2 lessons they had with subs did them in. Oh well, you can't win 'em all.
I got a little tired by the end of day because it was a full day but everything went well. I had one busybody at work begin to ask me again what kind of surgery I had - I just piped up again about the hiatal hernia thing and she quit asking questions. I will probably end up telling them - but I am just not ready yet. Several people have noticed my loss already.
The other night when I was picking out clothes to wear for my first day back my wife made me throw out all my regular trousers and shirts I had been wearing. I looked like a clown in them
http://www.clownband.com/images/Indiv%20Photos/Adam.JPG
(This is a buddy of mine that plays in the Indianapolis Clown band. I proudly wear a t-shirt with this photo on it.)
The pants were a little big -- much to my surprise. Earlier in the day, as I was putting away the christmas stuff in the attic, she told me to get down the box of 4 year old pants because I would be in them soon -- I laughed and said "Not yet!".
So there I was climbing into the attic to bring down that box of size 48's and shaking my head. That is what I have been wearing this week - 4-6 year old pants and shirts. They were tight on me then - not so much now. Good thing my fashion sense wasn't too refined they still look alright to me.
I tried two protein drinks at work today (free samples from bariatriceating.com) and they were both drinkable. Don't know which I will order yet though.
1/13/06
Didn't get enough to drink yesterday and I know it. I blame this morning's experience on that.
I have this SF Tropicana Orangeade that I like to drink. It tastes pretty good and it fits the bill. This morning at work I opened up a can and took a sip.....Ugh! It was like tasting a liquid fart! Nasty! I believe that my not drinking enough yesterday perhaps may have been responsible for my "unusual" response. I kept sipping and each sip got better until it tasted normal, but for a while there........
I found out this week that I have a cousin looking into this surgery. She posted her real name on the board and I found it by searching the last name. She is evidently having some issues getting the surgery approved because I saw her name on an internet newspaper article a while back where she had written government officials about getting medicare to cover the cost of this surgery. I hope she gets it resolved and can come to some kind of resolution in her quest. I am toying with the idea of writing to her but no one in my extended family knows I have had this surgery. If she reads this (Allison) I hope she