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I have finally have a date, March 8, for my surgery!  It has been a long time of consideration, so I am relieved to know that I am about to start the process to have surgery.  In the past I have been so devasted to have not been able to have surgery, but it was probably a blessing b/c I think I needed to time to get really ready for big changes.  For a long time I felt like a failure not being able to lose my weight, but now if I look at it like any other medical condition, I can see that I need help.  Not because I am a failure, but because this is my area of struggle and everyone needs help with something.  It feels good to let go of the guilt and accept the help. Now it is time to lose weight! Happy days!

I didn't have my surgery last summer.  Ten days before my surgery date I had to cancel due to financial issues.  I am self pay, so a $20,000 surgery was going to be a struggle to pay off.  In the end it was good that I reconsidered financially.  I am single with a house and money would have been too tight or non existent. 

I avoided this site since I cancelled my surgery.  I think this is the first time I have visitied since that summer day.  I cried for days after cancelling.  I was convinced that I was destined to be the fat, frumpy girl.  I am still not sure how this will work out for me, but I know change needs to occur.

I have a pretty decent sized lump on my thyroid, which will take precedence over bariatric surgery for the time being.  I can only handle one medical issue at a time!  Please pray for me as I try to make decisions, sort out money and gain motivation.  I need help in all areas!

I appreciate your support, it is good to share with those who understand my struggle.

-Tara

I went to my surgeon today and I have a date, July 23, 2008.  I meet with the nutritionist and the psych on Monday, July 7.  Once things happen it goes quickly!

It has been almost a year since my last update.  My very kind surgeon tried to find a way to have insurance help pay for my surgery, however, it didn't work.  They looked for a hernia to repair, a stomach issue, something.  But everything was in working order so there was no way to have financial assistance.  I gave up and thought I would have to go at weight loss alone.  I have read the research and know the success rates without intervention are not great.  I really would like to have the surgery.  So, I need to find a more cost effective surgery option.  And I am trying to force myself to pay off my one remaining credit card and my car prior to making big surgery committments.  It could be a little while...

I am currently in the last stages of building a home.  It has been a crazy journey.  I realized that if anything goes wrong with the surgery I could put myself in a huge financial crisis.  So I signed up for long term disability coverage that will start on September 1.  If, for any reason, I have surgery related complications I will not loose any income and will not put my house in jeopardy.  The downside to my reasoning is that I will have to wait until the fall to have surgery.  I am now ready to get everything rolling. I see the other people's pictures and I am super excited about the upcoming possibilities.  I am a bit of a dreamer, so I need to focus on being realistic about the process and the knowledge that I may have to wait a long time to save money for any plastics that could be needed.  I also need to remember that I have had years of disliking my body so changing my mental processes is also part of the journey.

I met with my doctor a week and a half ago.  Another woman at my school had been approved for the gastric sleeve and had undergone the surgery the week before.  We have the same insurance, so I was so excited this might work for me.  While I was speaking to the surgeon the finance coordinator contacted my insurance company.  When I left his office, she sadly explained my insurance company had denied...everything, every last penny.  I was devasted.  I had finally thought I had reason to hope, but was shot down.  In the next few days I was angry that this works out for others, but never for me.  I have been denied 3 times now (2 for lap band, 1 for gast sleeve).  But after I prayed through it, I am adopting a different mindset.  For whatever reason, I will have to find a way.  I know I can finance the hospital cost, but I have to find a way to cover the surgeon's cost and the year of aftercare.  The office is really trying to find a way to help, which just affirms my desire to keep him as a surgeon.