Sus_555
Ok my life. Where to begin. I am 35. I live in Southern Virginia. Have lived in Virginia for almost two years now. It is where my family lives. I grew up and lived in Maryland my entire life until I separated from my husband. More on that later. My highest weight was 555 pounds on April 10, 2008. This was my first consultation date with Dr. Kellum. I have been overweight my entire life. I have no idea what it is like to be normal. So this is quite the adventure! I met my husband when I was 16 years old. Married when I was 21. I don’t have any children. I worked for several years with my sister who I helped start a private investigation company. Currently self employed. I make a decent income but looking forward to when I can have a regular job again. Basically I guess I have been sheltered my whole life. Went from my parents to my husband. I hated being fat. I hate the word fat. It sounds weird looking back on everything but I guess I never faced the fact that I was fat. Of course I went through public humiliation over the years. But I have always had the same friends, my family and my husband. As the years went on in my adult life, things started to get worse and worse with my husband. Neither of us knew how to be adults in a lot of ways. We used each other to continue self destructive behavior. Nice having a partner in crime. Well the more weight I put on the more I secluded myself. The more I secluded the worse things got between my husband and I. He would put me down a lot. Not in direct ways like saying you are fat but out of frustration. For example, we would go out and being so heavy I would have to take breaks from walking and sit down. Instead of him understanding and at least being happy I was out walking, he would yell at me for sitting and put me down. So it eventually got to a point where going out made me so unhappy and upset I just stopped. I isolated myself from my family, his family, all friends, everything. There were points where I would not leave the house for months. I was too scared to go to therapy and clueless how to reach out for help. Things finally hit rock bottom when I became ill and needed to go to the hospital. The doctor that treated me said he would continue to treat me and during a visit asked me if I was interested in WLS. This was the first ray of hope I have ever had. I then started the process sort of. I guess part of me was very scared and worried so even though I was going through the steps, I was not ready. I went to see a surgeon in Maryland in March of 2006. To make a long story short our insurance at the time excluded any type of WLS and I was devastated. Not to mention during this time my husband asked me for a divorce. So the Maryland surgeon basically said come back when you have money. Again no help, no hope. So back to my husband. On February 17, 2006 he asked me for a divorce. What a way to kick a person when they are at their lowest. I was huge, depressed and had nothing. I couldn’t get a job at the weight I was at. Whenever I brought up how was I going to support myself, basically he said not my problem. So I ended up staying in the same house and him for 9 months. During this time he had an affair. Yes it was an affair since we were not separated and still living together. That was the hardest 9 months of my life. I can’t tell you what it feels like to know your husband is cheating on you and because you have nothing and nowhere to go, you don’t say anything and just let it happen. I was a prisoner. The only thing that kept me going was my best friend John who I only know online and a business that fell into place that we created. It is hard to explain what I do but God was certainly looking out for me. That is the only way I can explain it. I started making money and hiding it from my husband. Saving everything I could so I could leave and support myself. I was able to save up about $20,000 during that 9 month prison sentence and on Thanksgiving Day 2006 I moved out. I moved to Virginia down the street from my parents and my sister’s family. For the first time in life I was on my own. It felt great. I found so much strength within myself that I never knew I had. I was so proud of being able to have my own home, fully stocked with all new furniture that was totally mine and debt free. WOW. So two weeks after I moved out, my husband called me and said he made a mistake and wanted me to come back. There was no way. It took every ounce of courage I had to walk out that door and there was no way I was going back. Of course after months of talking to him I started to want him again. But I knew if I went back I would be back in prison. So I never did. I tried again to get WLS in 2007, was again denied. I ended up finding out that the person my husband had the affair with had his baby. He never told me. So the whole time she was pregnant and the first three months of this kid’s life, my husband hid it while telling me he wanted me back and he loved me. Nice guy huh. So that brings me to current times. We still have never filed for legal separation and he changed companies and found insurance to pay for WLS. The one and only thing he has done for me. He has yet to give me any financial support at all. So all of this time I just played nicely because I wanted the insurance. So in April 2008 I went for my first consolation with Dr. Kellum in Richmond, Virginia. I thought I would go in, they would check my insurance, tell me to have my psych appointment, schedule the surgery and I would be on my way. Well NOPE! I was wrong. The dr said lose 55 pounds and come back in 3 months. What?? If I could lose 55 pounds I wouldn’t be overweight. So I came home and ate for a day crying into my comfort high fat food and carbs. Then I decided this was not going to beat me anymore. I started a diet. Lost 45 pounds in 3 months and went back to Dr. Kellums office on July 31st. He was happy with my weight lost and decided to move forward with the surgery. Again, there an insurance problem. UGH! But this time thank God it was only a small glitch. It did push the surgery further away but it eventually happened! Totally pre-op I lost 80 pounds. I had gastric bypass surgery on November 3, 2008. YAY! As far as the rest of my life, it is a work in progress. I will file for divorce once I get on my feet and don’t need the insurance daily. My husband will have no choice but to give me what he owes me financially. And I am on my way!
