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Today I weigh 148... 3 lbs from a normal BMI.   I cant believe I am actually in a number range I havent seen since I was 18.. and then it was only briefly.. as I was in the 160s in high school.  What a crazy journey this has been. While going through the weight loss stuff my personal life has been a wild ride too with my kids special needs issues and trying to renovate and move and such.  Life is still very crazy.. havent moved yet and in fact am now having to homeschool the kids because of lack of services and understanding of FASD for the kids which made it unsafe. However a good thing is that since I have lost weight my cymbalta is working much better so I am less overwhelmed by it all.. its working. lol.  SO life is nuts but Im doing ok.
Ive decided to try to make my goal of being normal .. and then probably the 130 eventually too but not going to fret about it. I ve given up my snow cone sugar addiction in hopes of attaining that goal. Amazing how just the one change and I go to losing again. Instead of snowcones Im eating my sf jello with whipped cream again. or when i go to big town i can get sf snowcones. Anyway.. Im doing great.
   I think hubby is a bit taken aback as now I have officially lost more than he ever did with his gastric bypass. The only thing is that he started at 511 and I started at 312.. so even though Ive lost only a couple of lbs more.. He never got anywhere close to a normal bmi and is still smo due to regain and now I am only  3 lbs away from normal. We are still seeking a revision for him to have the DS as well but  several things have to happen first.
Anyway.. just thought Id update.   I am so very thankful and I love my DS.

So , Today I am officially 1/2 of the woman I used to be. I have lost 156 lbs and I weigh now 156. I am a size 8 in womens.. down from a size 26.  I am a weird size 8.. as I have an alien belly going on in the front but narrow hips.. weird. I am however THRILLED to be in  a single size clothes.. Ihave not done that since I was maybe 14 or so.  This DS has been amazing. I thought Ihad broken my DS from depression and ate a bunch of carby crap in month 9 and ten and actually gained 12 lbs but this month I cut out the hot pockets.. breaddy pizza crap.. and um still kept more sugar than I should and lost those 12 lbs.. plus 6 more!!! I cant believe it! My DS is still working just fine as long as I follow the rules and get enough protein then I lose!!  I had all but resigned to not losing anymore.. stopping just short of goal but man Im happy to see the scale moving again in the right direction!..
    I want to lose jsut a litte more but I wish I could choose where to lose it from.. My arms and neck are skinny enough.. I want to lose my belly and thighs still and then there is the whole weird loose skin issue of my arms and tummy and thighs.. Whether I will ever have that done I dont know. My next goal is to get to a normal bmi which for my height is 145.. after that then I will re address my goal. I had thought all along of having a goal of 130 but I am not too sure about that now as I dont want to get too skinny.. how weird is that. Nope.. Im not going to make goal by a year.. as my super DS wish list was to be but I am ok with that. Ive made good progress and dealt with some major issues along this journey and have survived so far.  

  I guess the free ride has come to an end.. It was so easy before to say no as I didnt crave things.. This month has been very stressful from personal family issues and  I havent been working my DS like I should be. Its easy to fall back into pre op crap. Oh.. im still drinking my Fruit2O like a mad woman but  I havent been low carbing high protein like I should for most of the month. I have discovered that now Im going to have to just work at it and  log it if I really want to take full advantage of this miracle called the DS.  Yeah. it sucks.. logging and all that but mentally I need that accountability as my will power just isnt cutting it.  I have got to curb my sweet tooth somehow as when I stress I crave sugar bigtime.  Who would have thought stupid little grapes are so high carb too.. i mean really 1 grape has almost as much carbs as a hershey kiss!  which.. isnt bad.. but the days of beingable to eat only a few kisses and be ok... are over.. I want more now.  The problem is that my mind may want it but when I do over indulge then I get gassy... lovely.  Ive not lost very much weight this month and Im dissapointed in myself.  I wanted to reach having lost 150.. but I guess that will be next month or so.  They say it slows down around now.. but geeze.. I guess I got spoiled on the ride and was just in a free falll and now came to a stop.  Now its up to me.. how bad do I really want this? I want it so bad.. but I suck at will power.. If I was good I wouldnt  have needed WLS.  I am very thankful for my DS as Iknow that there is no way in hell I could have done this with anything less. I would have crashed and burned along time ago.  I love my full fat foods.. I just wish there was  more low carb ready to eat easy desserts out there.. .. I need it bad. 


 

 Today is my 6 month surgiversary! So far I have lost 122 lbs and am at 67.5% EWL  I honestly can say that I LOVE my DS!
  This month has been the most "normal" and yet the most eye opening as well.  Finally , aquaintainces.. that didnt know I had WLS are noticiing my loss and are asking.. HOW? andI do tell them I had the DS. But its funny and sad because they dont get that my Super morbid obesity was more than being fat.. it was killing me with my comorbids and I was only survivng and in pain all the time and not able to do what I needed to do. People seem to think its about pure vanity and didnt realize insurance covers it.. they think its like plastic surgery....  There was even one guy at the hardware store that asked if I did it for me or for my husband.... Now Im from Dallas and not this west texas sexist place and not of the prevailing culture around here that treats men as superior... so this completely caught me off gaurd.  After I picked my jaw up off the floor I explained I did it for ME!. Im the one that was dying and needed and wanted to live.. WITH or WITHOUT my husband!!
   I have been able to get  in my vitamins without any problems anymore and they arenot making me gag! I am getting in all my fluids and have become really fond of Fruit20 and also like to drink a fountain diet pepsi pretty much every day.  I also drink crystal light and unsweet tea with splenda too.  Protein I really  have to be aware of to get enough in and it is a challenge.   I am amazed at how much I can eat some times and other times I cant hardly eat at all before I am full. I have discovered seafood is my friend and I can eat alot of it.. except Salmon for some reason is more dense and hard to eat much of.

This is my fitday menu for today.. and I havent even eaten supper yet.. Today has been a good eating day!
Oh... and I had red lobster for lunch,...and have been eating it at home since then.. which is why the lobster and lots of shrimp. lol I had the jalepeno mango shrimp skewer appetizer and the Ultimate feast combo.. but i didnt eat the potatoes yet or crab legs .. those are for tomarrow.

Food Name	Amount	Unit	Cals	Fat (g)	Carbs (g)	Prot (g)	Delete
		Total	1,142	57.8	41.4	108.3
Shrimp, cooked		cup, cooked cup, shelled, raw (yield after cooking) cup, with shell, cooked (yield after shell removed) cup, with shell, raw (yield after cooking, shell removed) oz, cooked oz, with shell, raw (yield after cooking, shell removed) oz, without shell, raw (yield after cooking) large shrimp (shelled) medium shrimp (shelled) prawn small shrimp (shelled) tiny shrimp ("popcorn") grams kg lb oz	230	3.8	2.0	44.1
Chicken salad spread		cup can (7.5 oz) grams kg lb oz	416	28.1	15.4	24.2
Shrimp, floured, breaded, or battered, fried		cup, cooked oz, with shell, raw (yield after cooking, shell removed) oz, without shell, cooked oz, without shell, raw (yield after cooking) extra-large shrimp (shelled) fried shrimp jumbo shrimp (shelled) large shrimp (shelled) medium shrimp (shelled) prawn small shrimp (shelled) tiny shrimp ("popcorn") grams kg lb oz	166	8.3	8.0	14.1
Lobster, baked or broiled		cup, cooked, diced oz, raw, without shell, yield after cooking oz, without shell, cooked large lobster (4 lb live weight) (yield after cooking, shell removed) lobster tail (8 oz), fresh (yield after cooking, shell removed) lobster tail (8 oz), frozen (yield after cooking, shell removed) medium lobster (2.5 lb live weight) (yield after cooking, shell removed) small lobster (1 lb live weight) (yield after cooking, shell removed) grams kg lb oz	132	3.4	1.4	22.4
Biscuit, cheese		biscuit (2" dia) grams kg lb oz	112	5.7	12.5	2.8
Caesar dressing		cup tablespoon packet grams kg lb oz	78	8.5	0.5	0.2
Lettuce, raw		cup, shredded or chopped oz, raw, yields large head large leaf medium head (6" dia) medium leaf small head small leaf grams kg lb oz	8	0.1	1.6	0.5
		Total	1,142	57.8	41.4	108.3

I have to watch the carbs as they are really trying to get back inmy life and I really want to have 100% EWL  so I am staying mindful.  I most of the time dont eat white flour products.. except today I had one of those cheddar bay biscuits from RED lobster.. and now my tummy is grumbling..  and I avoid sugar..most of the time but not all the time and do indulge VERY occasionaly on a treat.. sometimes which produces horrible effects that I never want to repeat.. Note.. the fried cherry pies are the devil! but german chocolate cake is not!>lol Dont be to hard on me.. those are my only bakery sweets I have had since Thanksgiving.. dangit!> lol
  I am getting my sweet tooth back though and need to start cooking low carb deserts.
I love that I am eating normal food and am losing weight. I made the most awesome pot roast the other day.. and it just amazes me that this is good for me.
  I had a wow moment today ! I was shopping at Ross.. AGAIN!!>. and  I tried on a pair of size 14 slacks and they were TOO BIG!!  I was just about squeeling in the dressing room!.  I havent worn a size 14... since I was 22!.. 12 years ago!...
 Of course all brands fit differently and the other size 14s fit fine and not too big.. 
   I have a bigger chest area so I still need an XL top and will probably never be smaller than a L but that is ok.. but my shrinking butt I am happy with.. Now if only my freaking huge legs would catch up! 
  I LOVE clothes shopping now! It is cool to be able to return stuff to the dressing room lady.. not because it didnt fit..but because you just didnt care for how it looked on you!. That is such a normal moment I had today that I hadnt had in such a LONG time!
  I am so very thankful for my DS. I go to my 6 month checkup next week and we are driving 400 miles with kiddos in tow.. as we dont have a sitter.. and hubby is having his consult for his revision on that day too.  My lab results should be in soon to and I will post those when I get them.
 That is all for now.. Hubby will take my picture ina little while in my beautiful new Marilyn Monroe dress!

i did it! I did it!! OMG.. I cant believe it!   I have lost 100 pounds!!!  This to me is so insane! I mean I hoped that I would but having it really really happen is just surreal!.  IT was on December 2nd ..  4 months and 11 days out that I made the  100 lbs mark. Im exceding my goals! I had hoped to lose 100 lbs by my 6 month  surgiversary adn I did it in 4 months 11 days!  WOO HOO!
    Next goal will be to be in ONEDERLAND!!! I have 11 lbs more to lose. I HOPE to be in Onederland by Christmas or the new year... It would be such a blessing to start out 2010 with a new digit on the scale that I havent seen since I was 23. Keep your fingers crossed!.. Im rocking along and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my DS.

I would never have been able to do this on my own.. Not in a million years or for a million dollars!

Today is my 4 month surgiversary! I am officially down 95 lbs since surgery on  July 22nd !! I was 309 the night before surgery and got up to 312.6 in the hospital from IVs and now weigh 217.
   I finally uploaded some pics in my profile under the weight loss photos if you want to see my progress. I'm sorry I haven't figured out how to put them directly on my post.
  I'm doing pretty good but I there is room for improvement in my protein intake but I'm really trying. I'm finally getting used to the vitamin routine and not gagging. I drink allot of crystal light and tea with splenda.  I go to the bathroom about 3 times in the morning and sometimes one in the evening but not usually at all during the day. White flour products give me not only smelly but painful gas so I avoid them 98% of the time. I'm not super low carbing  at all but just eating high protein and whatever extra room is for complex carbs most of the time. I am not perfect and have had a treat every once in a while but not every day. I found some sugar free creamsicles at Sam's club that are low carb that have been curving my sweet tooth lately.
    I am just amazed at how my weight is going down. I could have never done this on my own. I am a bad girl and haven't exercised  regularly other than normal housework and being  a mom to 3 little kids. I did try do a walk away the pounds video and just felt like an ass. lol.
   I did do something yesterday that is a wow that I would have never been able to do pre op. I got my oil changed at the Toyota dealership and it was a 2 hour wait.. so I walked 3/4 mile down the road to walmart to blow time... and then walked back!!  My back, stamina would have never let me do that before without having a heart attack as well as  being covered in sweat... and it was NOTHING! I was NORMAL ! OMG..
  I ve got some saggy issues going on with my skin.. arms, legs, boobs. "poof",  etc.. and my hair started to fall out some this month.. darn it.. but overall I'm very happy.  I just really cant believe it. It seems so surreal! I'm finally starting to feel like me! ALL of my comorbids are gone and I'm just riding the ride for vanity I guess from here on out. lol. ..

I appreciate all of the DSers that have gone before me that have given so much of themselves and I have learned so much from. Thank you for helping me decide to switch instead of settle.

Ami

  Well I had my DS with Dr. Stewart on July 22 09.
 It was pretty rough the first couple weeks since I came home with a drain tube and felt yucky.. then was re admitted  at day 8 post op for infection from the drain tube... and stayed another 3 days..
  I m so glad to not be leaking anymore from my drain site as that was really disgusting. Everything else has healed great and finally the drain has a scab instead of goo and donthave to wear a maxi pad on my side anymore... YEAH!.
 To date I have lost 35 lbs... woo hoo and have gotten rid of several of my comorbids. I no longer have high blood pressure and not on bp meds.  I am no longer pre diabetic and not on metformin. I no longer have swollen feet and ankles and am not on a diuretic. I no longer have lower back pain!! YEE HAW!  1 am down 1 size! 
   I am getting used to my tummy and it is hard because I still want food but I cant have alot yet. I am still pretty wary of anything that is not mushy and even then some things still dont agree with me. I ate a few bites of an IHOP omlett that tasted wonderful.. and then threw it up a few minuites later.. WAHHHHH!   I have eaten crab legs.. but the plurality is a joke. I was only able to eat 1/2 of a crab leg before I got full
  The full is a new experience in and of itself. It is not the belly full gorged feeling I felt after totally eating aton pre op. I feel full in my chest after only a few bites. I have ignored the feeling twice and then threw up... I have drank too fast and threw up... . I am still learning. The hard part is that I have head hunger. Even though I cant eat more.. I still want more.
      I dont just eat crap out of boredom like i used to. It has to be really good or it is not even worth it.
I lived on powerade zero and G2 for a few weeks to drink as water doesnt agree with me unless I add lemon and splenda. lol. I have found however the last few weeks that unsweet ice tea with splenda has been my drink of choice and I am able to drink more of that than anything else and it doesnt upset my stomach.
   I have weird sounding noises come out of my stomach alot and TMI my bathroom experience is not like pre op at all. I did have diah.. for a few weeks but now I dont but it is more like baby... and smells awful. I never thought I would want just a normal bm.  I hate that i have to get up in the middle of the night to go now.
    I have discovered that I hate chewable vitamins and wish I had gotten the swallow ones. 
I still take naps in the afternoon.. and that is ok.
   I am glad that my kids are all home now but it can be a bit overwhelming with their special needs and me not being 100 % yet.
I look forward to being at %100 percent again so I can finish working on my house.. as we have doors to hang and my sons room to renovate and my living room to renovate.. to start.. along with a multitude of other projects.
   I have no regrets about this surgery and am glad I did it! I am glad I am not in pain anymore and am even now able to be a better mommy and a better me. and I know it will only get better!

 Im so exited and anxious! I cant seem to focus on anything or get anything done!   I leave for my pre op in Denton on Monday then will be back on Wedsday.. then my surgery is next wedsday.  I m not normally a tv person at all.. more of a computer junkie.. but I just want to chill and zone out  but I wont out of guilt that my house is not ready. lol.
   I have a word of advise for people..Finish your revnovations several months before your surgery date becasue its stress full at the last minuite!. lol. 
  11 days and counting.. OMG.. I am about to be me again! YEAH!!

22 days and counting.....

Im getting ready..  but I still have lots to "finish" before my surgery.. We bought our very first home and it is older so we have been renovating for a while.. but will have to come to a stopping point for a while after surgery.
 
I have bought my vitamin organizers, shower stool, freedom wand, booked my hotel reservations.... I still need to buy vitamins and maybe some stretchy pants for after surgery .. and some protein shake stuff..??

im exited , nervous but mostly anxious.  Im not sleeping very good at all and need to take lunesta at night to get rest. It doesnt help that my son is having alot of issues lately too.. so that is a double worry and keeps me from sleeping. i wish I could be the genie and blink my eyes and my projects.. especially the renovation of my little girls room would be done and then not have to worry about it.
   I have to cook meals and get nuke it food for the family. I have NO idea what the kids will be eating for a while... hmm.. mac n cheese with weenies. lol.
   im happy but nervous. what if. ? Do I write letters to my kids just in case.? what if.. who the hell would raise my kids.. or would want too?.. as they are NO picnic  with FAS, RAD, bipolar, ODD ADHD SID.. 
  
Im kind of going through a weird spoil them as this may be your last chance thing.. and for Fathers day I finished decorating my husbands " man cave" which is rustic theme.. for him.. and SOOO not my personal taste.. but I wanted to show him how much I loved him. I got him a cow hide rug and pillows some cowboy theme large art  seinna photos with nice frames for the walls and some western statues, and rock coasters. Like I said... so not me but very Cacy.
  I am usually pretty frugal about clothes and shoes and stuff and although I buy them nice stuff.. I shop sales and Ross or TJmaxx and stuff.. Well we are going to their first Rodeo this next weekend and I got them all cowboy duds.. boots, hats, belts, shirts, jeans.. and spent around $500.. which is totally crazy for 3 outfits... Granted, they will probably want to wear them alot... as they love to play cowboy.. but I have never bought them real western clothes before. I will have to take pictures though as they will really be cute. Madi may be annoyed though since they didnt have any purple boots and she had to get pink.. which is her sisters favorite color. They have purple fatbaby boots online.. but not in time for when we leave on Thursday.
Anyway... time is clicking and mentally im ready...

Well, currently at 305  I wear I size 24 in my jean capris or yoga pants.. elastic waist.. but I dont have any real non stretch jeans that fit. My 24s in regular jeans dont fit anymore so Id guess my real size as maybe a 26 or more. My goal.. for size is more about size than a number.. but Id like to get to a single digit size clothes.. 6, 7,8,9.... somewhere around there  would be just really awesome... but  man if I got to even a 14.. normal woman size then that woudl be great... I cant even imagine that now!
   I want to get off my medicines.. ALL of them for blood pressure, water retention, cholesterol, pre diabetic and off my CPAP. Id like not to hurt anymore in my back and knees and not be tired all the time. I want my body to go with my minds ideas and be able to go along instead of saying.. HELL NO!
   I want to feel my age.. 34 and not like a young person trapped in an old lady body like I do now. 
SOmething I would love to do when I am not taking my meds anymore and maybe for my 12 year anniversary .. September 23 2010 would be to go on my first cruise and wear a pretty and kind of sexy but not slutty dress dancing and be able to wear a bathing suit without feeling like Shamu.