sun4me21
ITS BEEN A LONG TIME..
Jul 06, 2011
WELL I'VE BEEN GOING AT THIS SINCE JANUARY AND HAVE LOST TOTAL OF 20LBS. EXCITED AND FEEL LIL BETTER BOUT MY SELF BUT WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I HATE MYSELF. I HAVE BEING SEEING A THERAPIST TO FIND OUT WHY I EAT (OVER EAT) ALL THE TIME. SHE THINKS IT CAUSE MY MOTHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. WELL I JUST DUNNO, MAYBE. WELL I HAVE A FEW THEORIES OF WHY I EAT AND EAT, ( WHICH I FEEL IS NECESSARY TO FIND OUT BEFORE SURGERY) IF I HAVE SOME CHIPS OR A CANDY BAR I JUST CANT HAVE A FEW OR A PEICE I HAVE TO EAT IT TILL ITS GONE, I DONT KNOW WHY I DO THAT, I CANT SAVE ANYTHING, NOT EVEN MONEY LOL. I JUST FEEL LIKE THIS PROCESS ISNT HAPPENING AND THAT I WILL BE OVER WEIGHT FOR EVER AND THIS IS JUST A DREAM... SO I KINDA GAVE UP FOR A FEW MONTHS AND JUST DID WRITE ANYTHING DOWN, PAYED ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS EATING BUT WENT OVER THE CALORIE INTAKE THE NUT GAVE ME. SO NOW I AM TRYING TO GO ABOUT THIS ANOTHER WAY, I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY THO, SO I HOPE THAT THIS WORKS! SO I WILL EAT AT 6AM, 9AM, 12PMK, 3PM, 6PM , SMALL MEALS OF COURSE. I DID THIS YESTERDAY AND I WAS STARVING ALL DAY. IM NOT SURE HOW THE DR EXPECTS YOU DO EAT SOO LITTLE WHEN U'VE BEEN EATTING SOO MUCH! DOES THE HUNGER EVER GO AWAY BEFORE SURGERY? I WONDER IF I WAS STARVED AS A LITTLE KID OR SOMETHING, I CANT STAND TO BE HUNGRY IT DRIVES ME MENTAL. IVE BEEN BIG SINCE I WAS ABOUT 10 AND MAYBE THAT WAS A WAY MY MOM THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT? I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN JR HIGH THAT IT WAS A BIG THING NOT TO EAT LUNCH, SO I NEVER WOULD PLUS I WOULDNT EAT BREAKFAST, SO I WOULD DRINK SODA OR HAVE SOMETHING I COULD EAT AND NOONE WOULD SEE (SOMETHING VERY SMALL). THEN WHEN I GOT HOME I WOULD COOK MAC N CHEESE AND EAT TWO TO THREE LITTLE DEBBIE SNACKS, THEN WAIT FOR MY MOM TO COME HOME TO COOK SUPPER, HAVE TO HELPINGS OF THAT AND THEN HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK AND THEN ANOTHER SNACK BEFORE BED. THIS WENT ON FOREVER, UNTIL I BECAME PREGNANT FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEN I REALLY GAINED 80LBS AND ATE EVERYTHING. IM NOT SURE WHY I AM SCARED TO STARVE, BUT I THINK THAT IS MY PROBLEM, I THINK IM GONNA STARVE AND NOT GET ANY FOOD. THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL EAT IT AND I WONT GET ANY! I THINK THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE HARDEST PART OF HAVING THIS SURGERY. LEARNING THAT I WONT STARVE, LEARNING THAT I DONT NEED TO SHOVEL FOOD UNTIL I FEEL LIKE MY STOMACH IS GOING TO BUST OPEN. JUST GOTTA A MONTH OR SO TO GO (I HOPE) AND THEN THEY WILL APPROVE ME FOR SURGERY. I GOT 12 MORE LBS TO LOSE BEFORE I HAVE SURGERY, (I DONT WANT TO DO THE LIQUID DIET) IM GONNA TRY REALLY HARD!
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UH...
Mar 27, 2011
I JUST DONT KNOW WHY I CANNOT DO GOOD OVER THE WEEKEND? I ALWAYS WANNA GO OUT TO EAT AND JUST TELL MYSELF IT WILL BE FINE IT WILL ONLY BE ONE DAY... YEAH WELL IT ENDS UP BEING ALL WEEKEND. THEN I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING IT. MAYBE I GOT ISSUES? DUNNO.. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE WORKING OUT, LIKE IF I DONT WORKOUT I WILL FEEL LIKE CRAP ALL DAY. I JUST HAD MY BLOOD WORK DONE THIS WEEK AND I AM PRE DIABETIC, TO BAD THAT WOULDNT MAKE MY SURGERY COME SOONER. SO MY PCP WANTS TO SEE ME TO SHOW ME HOW TO USE A GLUCOSE MACHINE. ALRDY KNOW HOW TO USE ONE OF THOSE THANKS! BUT I GUESS AS LONG AS I DONT HAVE TO TAKE INSULIN BEFORE SURGERY I WILL BE FINE.
ALSO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP MY SUGAR CONTENT LOW AND I LOVE SOME OATMEAL AND YOGURT FOR BREAKFAST. NUT TOLD ME TO EAT GREEK YOGURT CAUSE IT HAS MORE PROTIEN, BUT THE SUGAR CONTENT IS TOO HIGH! I LOVE THE LITE & FIT VANILLA DIABETIC FRIENDLY FOR ONLY 45CAL AND 3GRMS SUGAR, WELL WE WILL HAVE TO SEE I GUESS. I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 10LBS SINCE JANUARY AND I AM SOO EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE I CAN LOSE BEFORE I GO AND CHANGE FOREVER. I'M SO EXCITED I PROMISED MYSELF IF I LOSE ANOTHER 10LBS BEFORE 4/25 I WILL GO AND GET MY NOSE PIERCED! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED ONE AND I THINK AFTER 20LBS I DESERVE IT! WELL IM GONNA GET BACK TO WORK, HOPEFULLY THIS WEEK I CAN REALLY SWEAT MY BUT OFF, SUMMER IS COMMING AND I DONT WANT TO BUY NEW CLOTHES BEFORE I HAVE SURGERY!
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ALSO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP MY SUGAR CONTENT LOW AND I LOVE SOME OATMEAL AND YOGURT FOR BREAKFAST. NUT TOLD ME TO EAT GREEK YOGURT CAUSE IT HAS MORE PROTIEN, BUT THE SUGAR CONTENT IS TOO HIGH! I LOVE THE LITE & FIT VANILLA DIABETIC FRIENDLY FOR ONLY 45CAL AND 3GRMS SUGAR, WELL WE WILL HAVE TO SEE I GUESS. I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 10LBS SINCE JANUARY AND I AM SOO EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE I CAN LOSE BEFORE I GO AND CHANGE FOREVER. I'M SO EXCITED I PROMISED MYSELF IF I LOSE ANOTHER 10LBS BEFORE 4/25 I WILL GO AND GET MY NOSE PIERCED! I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED ONE AND I THINK AFTER 20LBS I DESERVE IT! WELL IM GONNA GET BACK TO WORK, HOPEFULLY THIS WEEK I CAN REALLY SWEAT MY BUT OFF, SUMMER IS COMMING AND I DONT WANT TO BUY NEW CLOTHES BEFORE I HAVE SURGERY!
WELL 5 LBS GONE FOREVER..
Mar 15, 2011
WELL THERE GOES 5LBS! I GETTING SO EXCITED. I REALLY WANT TO LOSE 35 LBS BEFORE I GO INTO SURGERY. THAT WOULD BE SOO NICE! YESTERDAYS FOOD WAS GOOD I WASNT HUNGRY AT ALL! BUT I WAS ABOVE THE CALORIE INTAKE THE NUT GAVE ME TO FOLLOW. OOPS BUT IM STILL LOSING SO GO ME!
I REALLY WISH THAT I HAVE A FRIEND TO DO THIS WITH, I MEAN I HAVE MY HUNNY THAT SUPPORTS ME IN WHATEVER I WANNA DO BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO PUSH ME AND BE THERE WHEN I WANNA EAT THAT CHOCOLATE BAR. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SMALL AND DONT NEED SURGERY. SO I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS BY MY SELF.
PLUS I DONT FEEL THAT ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN THIS BIG KNOWS THE ACTUAL HARDNESS OF GIVING THINGS UP. (MAYBE THEY DO) BUT I WOULD ALWAYS THINK IN MY HEAD THAT THEY WERE LUCKY THAT THEY DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING, AND THEY GET TO STAY SMALLER, NOT HEALTHIER BUT SMALLER. I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT! WHY SOME PEOPLE GET TO EAT WHATEVER THEY WANT AND NEVER GAIN A POUND. YET MYSELF IM GOING TO HAVE TO BUST MY A$$ JUST TO GET TO WHERE I WANNA BE BEFORE SURGERY! OH GOTTA DO IT! IF ANYONE WANT TO BE FAT BLASTIN BUDDIES LET ME KNOW, I WANNA A PARTNER TO WORK OUT WITH!
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I REALLY WISH THAT I HAVE A FRIEND TO DO THIS WITH, I MEAN I HAVE MY HUNNY THAT SUPPORTS ME IN WHATEVER I WANNA DO BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO PUSH ME AND BE THERE WHEN I WANNA EAT THAT CHOCOLATE BAR. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SMALL AND DONT NEED SURGERY. SO I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO DO THIS BY MY SELF.
PLUS I DONT FEEL THAT ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN THIS BIG KNOWS THE ACTUAL HARDNESS OF GIVING THINGS UP. (MAYBE THEY DO) BUT I WOULD ALWAYS THINK IN MY HEAD THAT THEY WERE LUCKY THAT THEY DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING, AND THEY GET TO STAY SMALLER, NOT HEALTHIER BUT SMALLER. I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT! WHY SOME PEOPLE GET TO EAT WHATEVER THEY WANT AND NEVER GAIN A POUND. YET MYSELF IM GOING TO HAVE TO BUST MY A$$ JUST TO GET TO WHERE I WANNA BE BEFORE SURGERY! OH GOTTA DO IT! IF ANYONE WANT TO BE FAT BLASTIN BUDDIES LET ME KNOW, I WANNA A PARTNER TO WORK OUT WITH!
FIRST NUT MEETING
Mar 15, 2011
Well i had my first nut meeting and i thought for sure i was going to get the 3rd degree, but NO i didnt i lost 3lbs! not much since the last time i was in but i guess that is good for not really trying!
I recieved my calorie intake goals and i should be 1400-1600 per day! Today will be the first day i really pay attention to this. Nut also told me to work out more. Well i just hate being this big going to the gym. so i have been trying some work out videos at home. yesterday i had my daughter with me so she did it with me. it was soo funny! i love that little girl!
I cant wait to feel better, i am soo tired all the time. soon soon i will be able to go all day and not want to take a nap.
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I recieved my calorie intake goals and i should be 1400-1600 per day! Today will be the first day i really pay attention to this. Nut also told me to work out more. Well i just hate being this big going to the gym. so i have been trying some work out videos at home. yesterday i had my daughter with me so she did it with me. it was soo funny! i love that little girl!
I cant wait to feel better, i am soo tired all the time. soon soon i will be able to go all day and not want to take a nap.
I HAD MY MEETING W/ THE NEW SURGEON
Feb 10, 2011
OK LAST WEEK I HAD MY MEETING WITH THE SURGEON, DR BARD (I THINK). WELL LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING OVER AGAIN, 
EXCEPT THE SLEEP STUDY JUST NEED TO GO AND GET MY MACHINE BACK. ALSO MY INSURANCE HAS CHANGED THE WAITING PERIOD, I NOW HAVE TO HAVE 6MOS OF NUT MEETINGS. ALSO YUCK, 2 YRS AGO I DID EVERYTHING IN 4MOS. OH WELL HERE GOES IT ALL OVER AGAIN! WELL HERE IS MY ISSUE, I LOVE FOOD I THINK THAT I GAIN 5LBS JUST LOOKING AT IT, I OVEREAT, AND I EAT OUT OF BOREDOM AND WHEN I'M HAPPY,SAD,ANGRY,TIRED, DEPRESSED AND ALL OF THE ABOVE. SO I REALLY NEED TO FIND MAYBE AN OVER EATERS ANONYMOUS. I ALSO WENT TO GET A GYM MEMBERSHIP AND HAVE ONLY GONE ONCE SO FAR, BUT IT FELT SO GOOD! MAYBE I WILL THROW MY EMOTIONS AT THE EQUIPMENT?
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EXCEPT THE SLEEP STUDY JUST NEED TO GO AND GET MY MACHINE BACK. ALSO MY INSURANCE HAS CHANGED THE WAITING PERIOD, I NOW HAVE TO HAVE 6MOS OF NUT MEETINGS. ALSO YUCK, 2 YRS AGO I DID EVERYTHING IN 4MOS. OH WELL HERE GOES IT ALL OVER AGAIN! WELL HERE IS MY ISSUE, I LOVE FOOD I THINK THAT I GAIN 5LBS JUST LOOKING AT IT, I OVEREAT, AND I EAT OUT OF BOREDOM AND WHEN I'M HAPPY,SAD,ANGRY,TIRED, DEPRESSED AND ALL OF THE ABOVE. SO I REALLY NEED TO FIND MAYBE AN OVER EATERS ANONYMOUS. I ALSO WENT TO GET A GYM MEMBERSHIP AND HAVE ONLY GONE ONCE SO FAR, BUT IT FELT SO GOOD! MAYBE I WILL THROW MY EMOTIONS AT THE EQUIPMENT?
I'm back
Jan 17, 2011
well it has been a year or two since my last post and I've been struggling since I left. I had a beautiful baby girl that is just my world! but I am still fat and hating what i have done to myself in the past 10yrs. I need to call my dr to get a referral to go back to dr loggins office. (procrastinating) because I already went throu the whole process once and now i bet i will have to do it once again, hopefully they can pass on the sleep apnea testing, (big hopes). And i was going to have the gastric bypass but , now i think i want the gastric sleeve, it seems just like it would be soo much better for me, i dunno we will see. now that i am back im at 323lbs. (very sad)
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feeling sad.....but blessed....
Feb 09, 2009
WELL ABOUT ONCE A WEEK I COME AND CHECK ON ALL MY OB FRIENDS AND SEE HOW THEY ARE DOING.... I MUST SAY THAT YOU ALL ARE DOING AWESOME!! I AM 11 WEEKS PREGO TODAY AND I GET TO HEAR MY BABY'S HEART BEAT NEXT WEDNESDAY! I AM SOO EXCITED, IT WILL MAKE THIS SO MUCH MORE REAL. I HAVE ONLY GAINED 5LBS SO THATS NOT BAD. ( I THINK ITS FROM DRINKING SODA, DR TOLD ME TO TRY GINERALE TO KEEP THE NAUSEA FEELING AWAY.) OTHER THAN THAT I AM EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME AND I WANT TO SLEEP. WE ALSO GET TO GO HAVE AN ULTRA SOUND IN MAY AND HOPEFULLY KNOW WHAT I AM HAVING. THEN I CAN GET SOME SHOPPIN DONE, AFTER 7 YRS I HAVE NOTHING LEFT.
I HOPE THAT ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYONE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK.
Im so disapointed....
Dec 15, 2008
I am so mad at myself.... How come I had to gain 2lbs? And rite before my surgery? Well I met with corrine Yesterday and she told me that since I gained 2lbs I didnt meet the 5% and would have to stay on liquids for 12 days.... Yuck! So Yesterday really sucked I made it through most of the day without eating and then when it came time for supper I ate some.... I was so starving.... I know that was not good But I need some time to brace myself... I have to do this no food thing during the worst time of the year... its gonna be so hard during x-mas... anyone have any ideas? I wonder if the Nuts realize how hard this is? Because she had no sympathy what so ever... Of course I could have waited til after the holidays but I really want the 70% STD... It is so hard not to eat... I do it all the time... I wish the hunger pains would go away... Does this pain go away after a few days or is it going to stay with me and be this hard for the 12days?
After the 12 days I will have to do the bowel prep for 2days so yeah i can still not eat anything.... when anyone else had to do the 2wks of fluids did they exersize too? How muuch weight did you lose in that 2 wks?
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After the 12 days I will have to do the bowel prep for 2days so yeah i can still not eat anything.... when anyone else had to do the 2wks of fluids did they exersize too? How muuch weight did you lose in that 2 wks?
So I'm patiently waiting...
Dec 07, 2008
Ok so I have a date in all and very thing is good... going through a denial process right now.... I keep thinking that this isnt real and I will still have to be this heavy for ever..... and I also feel like this is the last time I get to eat so I have been eating everything in site.... (not good)... but then I havent gained anything either.... I thought the motivation of the date would make this easier but I just dont feel like its really happening... Its been almost a month since I have seen the NUT and all my hard work in keeping a journal is down the drain.... One of my kiddos dropped it in the sickl and now i have to go and get a new book and start over... Yay I bet she will be happy about that! So I have an appt with her on the 17 and I would just love to lose 5lbs just to make her happy...
So I know that I havent been on here that often and I'm sorry about that I miss you all! I dont know if anyone has ever heard of the movie "Twilight" well I have been reading the series of books and I havent been able to put it down.... I havent even been watching my soaps.... its been like 2 weeks... oh well I guess that it's not that important.. well I hope that all is well with everyone and have a good holiday if i dont make it back here....
So I know that I havent been on here that often and I'm sorry about that I miss you all! I dont know if anyone has ever heard of the movie "Twilight" well I have been reading the series of books and I havent been able to put it down.... I havent even been watching my soaps.... its been like 2 weeks... oh well I guess that it's not that important.. well I hope that all is well with everyone and have a good holiday if i dont make it back here....
I have a date!!!!
Nov 17, 2008
Well I have gotten my date.... December 29th!! I will be spending the new year in the hospital with my new Birthday and My wonderful BF! I am soo excited.... I still have some work to do though.... I want to lose atleast 10lbs before then.... I am at 305 now and I would like to be under 300 before I go...
I know that I have to go through the holidays being able to mow down on some food... I will just eat a bit of everything and then walk away... and work really hard on all the other days...
I have so many nervous feelings.... I am scard that if something goes wrong that my son will have to grow up with his loser dad... I am scared to leave the ones behind if it goes bad.... I am nervous that I will be sick after this and have an aweful time...
I just hope that everything goes well and I will be happy with my choice!! Much love to all!
I know that I have to go through the holidays being able to mow down on some food... I will just eat a bit of everything and then walk away... and work really hard on all the other days...
I have so many nervous feelings.... I am scard that if something goes wrong that my son will have to grow up with his loser dad... I am scared to leave the ones behind if it goes bad.... I am nervous that I will be sick after this and have an aweful time...
I just hope that everything goes well and I will be happy with my choice!! Much love to all!
About Me
sabattus , ME
Location
48.9
BMI
Aug 01, 2008
Member Since
