Stacey Corsa

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I'm just so darn excited I can't help it. I'm less than two weeks away now. I started my pre-op surgical diet yesterday. I lost 8 pounds of water over night! I was running to the bathroom 3 times an hour! lol I mean I am used to going a lot but geeez...lol Sorry if it is TMI! Didn't get a lot of sleep last night so hopefully after today all that will be out of my system. I am in the process of getting things prepared at home as well. I usually put my Christmas decorations up the weekend before Thanksgiving but since A) we are having our Thanksgiving Dinner on the 20th and B) Surgery is the 21st I had to get them up either this week or next week. I put them up yesterday!  My neighbors probably think I'm nuts!  lol  I just got in the mood anyway. I've been sort of nesting the last few days. lol Up cleaning, out walking...keeping active. I don't know if it is the excitement and I just can't sit still or what. My husband is worried and nervous enough for the both of us so I'm not nervous. I'm excited!

As I am preparing myself for my two week pre-op diet. I'm going through the food lists and thinking boy you know, this isn't really as bad as I thought it was going to be. I can make vegetarian stir fry, and have fabulous lettuce with yogurt and applesauce, oatmeal and cream of wheat. Protein shakes and Sugar Free Jello and Pudding. These are all things I am enjoying daily anyway.

I was talking to a friend and telling her my choices and she was saying how she could never live that way. I kept thinking why not? I've not once felt restricted.  I've heard people make comments well will you ever get to eat pizza again? Well yes, why couldn't I? I was eating it before, just I made it myself instead of ordered out. I knew exactly what was going on it...and used pita bread instead of crust. It was fabulous! Little changes that make you feel human and eating those foods that we all love. I will be able to have hamburgers and pizza, chocolate, and Italian dishes. They are just healthier low cal recipes and they don't lack in flavor either.

One thing I have never done in my life is sit and actually enjoy the food. I sit and eat and chew and taste now. I taste the food, feel the texture. I don't just shovel it in quicker than lightning anymore. Meal times are more about talking and enjoying the time together than just eating and getting back to whatever you were doing before we were interrupted by the meal time. If only we grew up this way. Dinner time being a social time instead of shovel shovel, speed of in seperate directions from the table as quickly as possible. Making each time you sit down and eat that experience, it's your time. Quiet time. Really unplug from everything and enjoy what you are doing. This is the first time in my life I've felt like I've not been on a "diet". I've eating what I want, loosing weight and enjoying my new lifestyle choices. The first time in my life I know I'm going to successfully keep the weight off and I can't wait for my surgery on Nov 21st so I can really start the journey and live my dream! Be Healthy, Be Active, Be ME!

Love and Light, Peace &  Health
Stacey

I have been insurance approved! Insurance approved on Oct 26th.  woohoo. I've been preparing and getting things ready. I start my pre-surgery diet in just a few days. Monday, November 7th. Wow my last post was 12 days ago.  Geeez the time is flying by quickly. November 21st will be here before I know it. I am so excited and ready to do this. My life has changed so much this year getting through all the stages literally feels like morphing from one stage to the next. Sweeping out the negativity, fighting my demons, forgiving the mistakes and the past, and leaving the past behind me. Taking that first step forward, focusing on myself and changing my eating habits, stocking the refrigerator and cabinets with different things. Cooking totally different recipes. Learning to convert family favorites to healthier lower cal, lower fat family favorites. Making my own sauces and dressings instead of using store bought and now I am about to start baking my own low calorie whole grain breads!  No preservatives, no High fructose corn syrups...natural ingredients no sugar, natural sweeteners. A year ago I would never even consider doing any of this before and I'm totally excited about now.

The words I have been waiting to hear has been said! I have been team approved and the surgery is scheduled. This is the next to the last hurdle pre-surgery!  All I have to do now is bite my nails until I hear from the insurance company. All I could do is cry when I found out. I am so stoked!!!!

Now comes the hard part...the 1-14 days of waiting on insurance...woohoo NOT...but in between I'm already set up for my nutrition class and my pre op surgery appointments.

YaY for ME!!!

Peace and Love

Stacey

I'm still working the program. I've finally gotten to a point where everything seems so natural to me. I'm building so many good habits. So far all my outside family issues haven't set me back at all since, well since late mid August. I officially let go of things on the 28th of August and I feel absolutely wonderful. I think I've identified all of my binge eating triggers and definitely identified the main trigger of my depression and stress. I've used exercise and meditation as a way to release any stress that I have felt.  Things are really looking great.

My next appointment with my therapist is the 22nd I think...have to check out the calendar. HA!  I can't wait to tell her all the great things that have happened in the last month. I see my dietician the 27th can't wait to tell her the great things as well! I wish I was going sooner.  I have a few things I need to ask her concerning carbs but otherwise I'm hitting my protein level's daily and I have never had a challenge with fluids. 

The scales have finally started to move again. I started walking 2 miles a day and the stupid scales wouldn't move at all. I started measuring and have consistantly lost an inch in areas, just as I was ready to toss the scales out the door forever they finally moved. I was down 6 pounds over night..geeez I hate the scales. I am so tempted not to weigh at home but it would drive me nuts not to know.. ick. So far I've lost 26 lbs since I got serious about changing the way I eat and then embraced exercise. My highest weight ever was 384, from there I've lost 58 lbs. I just can not wait until they tell me my surgery date and everything is approved and good to go. I'm just so ready!

Today is my 20th Wedding Anniversary! I can't believe it has been 20 years!    We both worked at Dairy Queen and we had a team meeting that morning we had to attend. At the end of it everyone wished us well. We got married at my Grandma's house. It was a very small wedding. My parents and younger brother, my grandparents, and two sets of aunt's and uncle's in attendance along with the minister.  We were married at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. My grandparents don't live in that house anymore but the memories are there. I drive by it about once a year. It is in another town. One of these days I will stop and ask the owner's if I can come in for old times sake. It wasn't the wedding of my dreams but it served the purpose, we had cake and punch in my Grandma's kitchen and went out to dinner. David and I went and saw a movie that night and called it an evening.  The movie was Hot Shots!  If you remember the movie, a dog appears all the time and gets sat on and yelps...getting in the car David yelps just as I sit down and damned if I didn't jump and he laughed and laughed.   Not the most romantic ending to your wedding day but I was with my soul mate, that is all that mattered. He is my rock, my love, my best friend! We have so much to be greatful for and so much to look forward to. I'm getting a chance to prolong my life so I can spend another 40 + years with him! I just hope he can handle me! 

If anyone out there doesn't believe in love at first site...we are living proof that it does exist! We met Dec 2 1990, he proposed January 16 1991 - then again May 20 1991. We were married Sept 7 1991!  It happens when you least expect it and when you aren't looking for it.  

Love and Light
Stacey

I found the coolest plate. The plate itself is 9.5 inches and it actually has printed on it the portions you need and how to eyeball portions.
It's a cool tool to get used to portioning your food. www.theportionplate.com has plates for adults, kids, and diabetics.  I just thought it was the neatest thing. I was looking for plates that were smaller. Salad plates were all I could find and I wasn't liking what I was finding, then I ran across this site.  You have to just check it out.

Now I'm off to look for bowls... 

Peace and Love

Stacey

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
~Thomas Jefferson

Having a good Pre-Op Program is imperative for success. A total program should include Social Counseling, Physical Therapy, Mental Health, Nutrition Classes, One on One Sessions with a Dietitian, and any other specialists that are deemed necessary by the Surgeon. I've had several personal friends and colleagues go through the procedures and with a 50% success rate because of the pre-op program or lack there of. 3 of 6 did not have successful outcomes 5+ years post-op, male and female. Trust me I know you want the procedure yesterday, but are you willing to risk your health and the possibility of not being successful?  I personally put off the surgery because I wasn't ready to commit to "jumping through hoops". They aren't hoops, they are life saving - life changing necessary tools you need to be successful in your new healthy future.

We all have different backgrounds, different issues with food, and different reasons for why we found ourselves obese. We all have worked hard to get where we are and we all will work hard the rest of our lives to get and maintain where we are going. I started binge eating when I was the tender age of 8. My first diet was Weight Watchers. I remember not being able to have the cookies and candy and I would sneak down in the middle of the night and just eat until the packages were gone. Peanut Butter was a particular favorite of mine. To complicate things more, I was also  going through the sexual abuse by sitters. It went on from age 5-12 and Physical and Mental abuse was fairly constant in the home...so food was also my comfort. Add the teasing from school...oh boy. 

My mom had weight issues so I was drug on every diet plan she went through. I also watched her abuse laxatives and I believe she was slightly bulimic. So comes the years of WW, Slim Fast, Over Eaters Anon, Fasting, Diet Pills, Cabbage Soup, hoping it was a thyroid issue, back to WW....over and over. Getting called Fat A@@ in the home and at school..gee woohoo! Each time loosing a little gaining a lot...blowing up and blowing up and OMG...380...

I am a Survivor! We are Survivors! I am here! We are here!  We all have skeletons in our closets and we all have reasons why we are the sizes that we are. I have had such a joyous ride these last few months..a hard ride because through counseling I've dealt with a lot of the above..but I've also learned to forgive, leave it behind me and OMG I am delirious!  Happy I can't stop smiling, my kids want to know where their Mom is. I just want to share with you that it is possible to come from a dark past and pull out of it. I feel like I've come to an awakening. No more negativity, my energy is focused on me and my family. I've started exercising and I'm feeling good about it, this isn't a chore, it's not a job...it's not something I feel I "have" to do...I want to do it. I am enjoying it...with each good feeling I want more! I'm not dreading the 2 mile walk..I'm looking forward to it...can't wait to increase it!  This isn't me 4 weeks ago...

I haven't been approved for surgery yet but I've been working the program since January 8, 2011 and I'm feeling this good. I'm totally stoked. I'm so happy I've chosen this route to surgery. If I hadn't I can guarantee I wouldn't be where I am so far. There are only more good things on the horizon and I wish anyone reading this happy and healthy days ahead!  I have no doubt I will be successful...and with a good pre-op program you will too!

Love and Light
Stacey

I've always been one to be scared of change for myself but to love to see changes around me. I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm happy to be making changes. It's been a slow process that started in January 2011. I want to share song lyrics with you that mean a lot to me. These pretty well sum up how I have felt all of this year. I'm so exicited to tell you it's been so worth the changes I've made...and the more changes I make, the more I want to change. It's the most exciting positive thing I've ever experienced in my life. I've never been more at peace with myself.

Maybe I'm a dreamer, Maybe I'm misunderstood

Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should

Maybe I'm crazy (Maybe I'm crazy)

Maybe I'm the only one (Maybe I'm the only one)

Maybe I'm just out of touch, Maybe I've just had enough

 

Maybe it's time to change, And leave it all behind

I've never been one to walk alone, I've always been scared to try

So why does it feel so wrong, To reach for something more

To wanna live a better life, What am I waiting for?

'Cause nothing stays the same, Maybe it's time to change

 Maybe it's hopeless (Maybe it's hopeless)

Maybe I should just give up (Maybe I should just give up)

What if I can't trust myself? What if I just need some help?

 Maybe it's time to change And leave it all behind

I've never been one to walk alone, I've always been scared to try

So why does it feel so wrong, To reach for something more

To wanna live a better life, What am I waiting for?

'Cause nothing stays the same, Maybe it's time to change

 And maybe it's time to change, And leave it all behind

I've never been one to walk alone, I've always been scared to try

 And maybe it's time to change, And leave it all behind

I've never been one to walk alone, I've always been scared to try

So why does it feel so wrong. To reach for something more

To wanna live a better life, What am I waiting for?

'Cause nothing stays the same Maybe it's time to change

'Cause nothing stays the same, Maybe it's time to change 
"Maybe" Lyrice by the Sick Puppies.
See the video at  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFhRowkNrTM