spark1es18

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I started the plateau busters diet, not to break a plateau(haven't been trying to diet), but to get my body used to smaller portions. I'm going to do the diet loosely for the 10 days and see how I do. I bought a food scale, protein powder, small bowls and a measuring cup. I also bought small storage containers so that I can measure out my food the night before and not have to think about it the next day. So far so good, it's after one and I'm not too hungry yet. I had a shake with protein powder today and it wasn't too bad. I've also had LF cottage cheese and pinto beans. I ate 3 oz each in my tiny little bowls (I think they're meant for sauce) and I used a childs spoon. It worked great, I took my time and enjoyed it. I wasn't sure about the beans but they were actually very good. I'm very motivated right now, I think because my surgery is 6 weeks away and I want so badly to be successful. I have to learn the difference between head hunger and actual hunger, before the band. I've read a few horror stories of people having complications from the band, so I'm hoping that will keep me focused so I don't abuse it. If I can't change my habits before getting the band, the band will be no good to me.

Yay! I finally have a surgery date! Ok, I guess I can't really say "finally" because it didn't take very long. My surgery will be on July 22nd at 8:30 am. I'm so excited! I'm also FREAKING out about the money. The actual surgery will be fine, but I'm really worried that more fees are going to be added on, or the insurance won't pay for fills, etc. I'm already up to my ears in debt but I really want/need this surgery. I've really been trying to focus on the Lord about all of this, I know He'll give me peace if I just trust Him.

I've never been good at keeping up with journals or blogs, but I'm determined to keep up with this one, so I'm adding another entry even though nothing else has happened yet. I figure the best way to stay motivated is to read other people's blogs and remind myself where i'm at. I'm so grateful that this site exists, I've been glued to the message board for almost 2 weeks now. I really want to be succesful at losing weight, and i know it's going to be hard. I'm just glad there's a bunch of people to ask questions, who actually understand! I'm the only fat person in my family, so they don't understand. Thank the Lord other people do!

Called my insurance company again today, I'm approved! Now I'm just waiting to get the call from my doctor's office to schedule an appointment. I can't wait!

I called the insurance company today and the office finally sent in the request for authorization. Now I just cross my fingers and wait. It seems like the process has taken forever, but really it's just been me dragging my feet. I was so frustrated after the initial consultation becuase of the list of things the doctor required me to have done. I have spent more time in doctors offices in the last 4 months than I have in the last 10 years. It really wasn't so bad, but it was kinda expensive. I had to see a dietician, a cardiologist, a pchycologist and a physician. My biggest problem was finding a physician. I haven't had a primary care doctor since i was a child, so it took awhile to find someone who didn't have a waiting list for new patients. I was also struggling with doubts about whether surgery was the best option for me. My family is very supportive but some of my friends are not. It's hard to hear that I'm too young for surgery, that it's cheating. I felt better after the physch evaluation. I know that surgery won't correct the problem, only help with the solution, but I really feel that it will be the push I need to get out of this rut I'm in. I'm a pretty motivated person, but when you feel so bad about yourself it's hard to get going.

I called the doctor's office today, and everything is finally in. They're going to send everything to the insurance company on Wednesday, and hopefully within a few days I'll know if I'm approved or not. I'm a very impatient person when it comes to waiting, so the next week or so is going to be difficult. I've already decided that if I'm not approved I'm not going to pursue it. I'll just have to find the willpower myself.