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Today is the day before  my revision procedure.  I met with the surgeon on last week,,,,,,,,, and he said I should have at least a 25 percent weight loss.  He said revision is not like the RYN, but you will be able to get back on track with this.  For the past few days I have been thinking about what got me to the place that I am in and all I can say is no one teaches maintaince.  I am realizing that this is more than a life style, you have to get the information that you need to maintain and you have to exercise.  This weekend I started changing my eating habits, I measured my food and ate up to six small meals.  I am up to drinking 34 ozs of water a day and by the end of the week I will have mastered 64.  It is now 8:45 and I am so full.......... I have no desire to eat, as a matter of fact I ate a small piece of hamburger meat when I got home ( tried to eat a few cookies, could not do it, gave them to my son).  I think it is mind over matter now and I am going to do what I have to do to get where I need to be.............. will continue to update.

I have to go to the hospital to do my work up on 12/6...............go to the surgeon's office on 12/8,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and surgery 12/13.  I was a little more excited the last time I think.  I know I exerpienced the same conflicting emotions, second guessing myself and trying to figure out if I am making the right decision/..//// I just want to implement the right principals to manage this life style   post op....................

I have been approved to have my Revision Surgery.  I will be having the Rose Procedure on December 14th.  I am nervous and having mixed feelings.  I am happy to have a fresh start, but I am also afraid that I will fail again.......... I will keep you posted.

Sheila

I have not posted on here in over a year.  Lately, I have been looking through my friends lists and it seems like for most after about two years we stop updating and blogging.  I can say the reason I did is because I started seeing the "old" me resurface and no matter how hard I tried, or should I say didn't try, she kept trying to resurrect herself.  I have gained about 30 pounds and am now at 260 pounds.  I feel so terrible.  I have become an emotional eater, probably always was, but now it is worst.  I can feel myself, telling myself not to eat, not to go back for seconds and I still do it.  Well, I went to see my surgeon, I even had gotten upset with him..... so I took a year sabitcal.  Well anyways, I went to see him and shared with him what I was feeling.  And he is his ADD state ( he really infuriates me, cause he is always on the move), sent me to have complete blood work and an EDG, well come to find out my "pouch" is no longer a "pouch" but trying to become a full fledged stomach.  It has strectched 40 percent.  I was like how did this happen I followed most of the rules.  I have not drunk a soda in over three years, I don't drink with my meals,  I tried to eat healthy, not a lot of sweets ( well).......   so I am eligible to have a revision.  I am having mixed emotions about doing this, because I feel like such a failer and I feel that people get you prepared for surgery and right after surgery, but you are not prepared for maintance and life.  I don't want to go through another surgery and come back to the same place.  I will admit a lot of it is me.  I was so comfortable with the weight coming off without much effort until I did not put forth much effort to exercise.  After, I got pregnant, my OB was like you need carbs so that the baby can get what she needs......and on it went.  I then had to deal with having a baby with special needs ( that really is not so needy) Thank God... a husband, children a high stress related job as a therapist, and a lot of emotional "shit" that I did not even deal with.........so now going into this I have to get  myself together so that I can life a healthy life forever and I am realizing a small stomach is not all it takes.  I just want help and education on how to life a healthy life and how one is to eat and exercise to maintain an weight that is healthy.........so personally I feel like a failure on all spectrums, because I did not do anything of this the "right" way.  I guess a lot of you would be saying, girl be happy that you have a second chance, I am but I am not sure if it really is a second chance, when I did not do well with the first.........

Would love comments, support and feed back
Thanks
Sheila

You have the surgery, lose the weight and then comes maintaince.  Well, I am struggling with the scales going up and down and I do not like this.  I did not go through this surgery to regain this weight.......... I struggled about coming on here to admit this, but the first step to healing is to admit you have a problem.  I now realize I am an emotional eater.......... so much "stuff" is going on in my personal life at the present time, it seems like the only consulation I get is from food.  I am so depressed and feel so hopless, don't really know what to do.  I went to see a nutritionist and I feel like I threw 60.00 bucks down the drain....................... I can eat more, tolerate more and am hungry,,,,,,,,,,, what can I do to stop that.  She tells me I need to exercise,,,,,,,, I can't afford a gym or a personal trainer, yes I can walk, but by the time I get home from work,,,,,,,,,,, that is the last thing Iwant to do........... I know set small goals and move up,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I can't seem to make myself get out of this slump,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I need some help...........

Sheila

Happy New Year, Happy Valetine's Day and all that good stuff.  My Lord, it has been a minute and a half.  I was one of those bloggers in the beginning who said I would never not update.  I lied, oh well.  Life has changed a lot for me, weight los, new baby, busy job, husband, children, sister trippin.  Girlfriend has more than a full hand.  I am at a plateu, losing inches, looking good and all that stuff but none the less I have about 40 to 50 more pounds to lose.  I am officially in a Medium shirt and an 18 pant.  I can literally go in the misses department and shop.  I went to New York and Company the other night and shopped, I was smiling like I won the lotto.   When I told the sales person it was my first time shopping there, she was like why, I said I could not wear your clothes before, she was like what size were you.  I said 30/32.  She was like "wow", girl you look good...............
Trinity is doing well, she is growing like a weed.  I will do a special blog on her later when I have more time to talk.  I have been experiencing a lot of hair loss, I guess it's all a side kick of the surgery, having the baby and hormones all over the place.  So now I am  a bona fide weavie diva..................................... Wow moment, i was at church on Sunday ( we had Trint dedicated).  I came out front to talk to "my family member's who had attended the ceremony,  I walked up and started talking, my cousin looked at me, and was like girl, I was like who is that,  I did not know who you were, every time I see you, you look different.  My in laws came down for the baby dedication, when I walked in the house, their jaws dropped on the floor, they were like OH my God, they have not seen me in over a year.  They were like, if we'd seen you on the streets we would have walked by you.................. so I feel good, I look good, and Iife is good..............

Until Later
Sheila

I went in for my six  week check up and the doctor was like wow, you  have lost all of your pregancy weight,  and you are smaller than you were before you delievered.  I was weighing 254 before I had the baby and was weighing in at 235.  I have lost a total of 19 pounds since having the baby.    I feel great and I must admit I look great.  I am getting compliments left and right by family, friends, and  enemies ( yea they hating).  I finally broke down and brought some underwear, my husband said it looked like I was wearing  diaper.  I am now wearing size 8 panties, 18 bottoms, large/medim top and a size 10 shoe.  I wear an xl dress and can pretty much shop in the misses department.  I tried  on some thigh high boots the other day and they came "all" the way up without a flinch.  My fifteen year old tells me I am looking/dressing "sexy.  I told him I am just trying to rediscover me.  I have been thinking about having a TT and lifting and some other tings, but am getting mixed messages from my family.  My son says "no", that exercising more than I do will tone things up, he feels that I am too old to have another surgery.

I have as of today lost a total of 131 pounds, that is another person.  I feel gre at, look great and am   great...............

The baby is growing by leaps and bounds, she is a doll and a puller of our  heart.

More later
Sheila

The baby was born on 10/8/08, she decided to come on her on, she was like "no one" is going to tell me when I am going to be born, so she made her grand entrance at 1:07 am., weighing in at exactly five pounds.  She was like since you are trying to be so "technical, I am not even going to wait for you to get the room prepared, I am literally "popping" out on my on, and she did plopped on the bed, shocked us all.................

I am adjusting well to mother hood, with a girl it is so different, I am like loving her to the hundredth power.  I love my boys and really want the best for the them, but I feel that God has blessed me and honored me with this daughter of mine.  Weight wise, I am doing great.  I don't really know to say it but I don't really feel restriction anymore, I don't really have an appettite,  I have to make myself eat, but I am craving carbs like no bodies business.  I however, have lost all of my pregancy weight and now am under the weight that I was prior to pregnancy, as of yesterday I weighe like to 239 pounds.  I literally only have a small stomach and need to tone............. I will be under 200 pounds with in the next six months.
So how r things going with everyone.

I will take some post pregancy pictures and post soon.

Have a good one.

Went to the doctor's on Friday, Trinity now weighs 4 pounds, and we will be doing an induction in about three weeks.  I lost another two pounds.  I am eating as much as I can, but my stomach is only so big, I really feel badly and think that I am not doing what I need to do so that she can get what she needs to get to grow.  The doctor did not seem worried, he said he just wants her heart to be developed.  I don't want her to have to stay in the hospital to gain weight.  I am not sure what to do at this point.  I think I am going to try to increase my carb intake, but hat is only going to leave me hungry sooner.  Any suggestions would be welcome.

Have a Blessed Day
Sheila

All is well in the neighborhood, still prego, went to the doctor today, did not gain any weight, have gained a total of nine pounds.  Baby currently weighs about 2.5 pounds give or take a few.  I am right at seven months and have two more to go.  I  am so ready to get this over so that I can reclaim my body, I am thinking about stepping my game up to lose at least 75 more pounds after the baby is born, we will see.  How are things going with you guys............ I know where are the pics, still working on it. 
Have A Blessed One