smartin69
Back from vacation
Jul 19, 2009
I'm back from my 5 day vacation where I gained two pounds! I was worried but the doctor said it was ok since i'm still losing and was down from the 6 weeks before when I was there last. Now today, 4 days later, I have lost 8 pounds! I can't say I understand but i'm happy!!!
Vacation was lovely. We stayed with my mom for the first few days. Someone told me I seemed happier now. I don't know if the surgery was why but i did feel calmer and i had a lot more energy. It was nice to be able to run around with my nephews and not worry they would be too much for me to handle.
One thing, I think I am having a lot of head hunger. I eat but then i'm hungry immediately after. And my hair is really falling out quickly now. I think i need to up the protein. It's been the hardest part. I wish I had exercised more while off work but I guess i need to just look forward. I start back to work on Tuesday and it's the busiest time of year for me which, in the past, has translated into being over-worked and stressed out which, in turn, has meant WEIGHT GAIN! I need to make sure I get to walk on my breaks or when I come home, NO EXCUSES, and I hope I can keep from sinking...
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Vacation was lovely. We stayed with my mom for the first few days. Someone told me I seemed happier now. I don't know if the surgery was why but i did feel calmer and i had a lot more energy. It was nice to be able to run around with my nephews and not worry they would be too much for me to handle.
One thing, I think I am having a lot of head hunger. I eat but then i'm hungry immediately after. And my hair is really falling out quickly now. I think i need to up the protein. It's been the hardest part. I wish I had exercised more while off work but I guess i need to just look forward. I start back to work on Tuesday and it's the busiest time of year for me which, in the past, has translated into being over-worked and stressed out which, in turn, has meant WEIGHT GAIN! I need to make sure I get to walk on my breaks or when I come home, NO EXCUSES, and I hope I can keep from sinking...
feeling good!
Jun 28, 2009
I am feeling really good now and have a lot more energy. I am trying to take my dog for longer walks and I am rarely tired afterwards, a big step up from just 6 months ago. Still can't eat meat very well, chicken and hamburger, but less dry or greasy seems ok. Feeling pretty good! Weight loss seems unpredictable though--sometimes i lose 4 lbs in a day, then nothing for weeks. Not sure why. Probably need to up the water intake.
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Blogging for mental health?
Jun 14, 2009
OK, someone told me if I blog about my journey I will find it easier to work through any issues that arise...
I'm two months in and in a good place right now. I must admit, when I first had my surgery I thought to myself, "This was the biggest mistake you could've made!" The hospital was awful, I was in so much pain, I felt so sick and unhappy. For me, surgery wasn't "a dream" or something I was excited about. I didn't want it. I just knew I needed it and was resigned to that fact. Some people, they say, commit suicide if they don't get approved by their insurance companies. I can't wrap my brain around that--I would've been like, "OK, that's fine. I didn't want it anyway!" But I was diabetic and had high BP and cholesterol and knew I needed a change or I'd just die.
Two months in, I am able to eat again and feel more like myself. I struggle with getting in the vitamins, the protein, the exercise, but I am finding my way. Isn't that what the journey is about? And today was a family function where everyone made comments to me about how good I was looking, how different I was looking, how I looked like I'd lost weight.
And I felt ambivalent. Not sad, not thrilled. Just didn't really want to talk about it.
I'm not one who wants to talk about her appearance. I thought I looked ok before! Not pretty. Not thin. Not average or typical. I know I'm overweight and I know that's not so appealing. But I have pretty good self-esteem and I'm smart and fun and not unattractive. So having so many people comment on my APPEARANCE, judging me on my progress--just very uncomfortable. I'm not as heavy. But I'm still heavy. Only, when people didn't talk about it in front of me before, now they do! Not loving it!
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I'm two months in and in a good place right now. I must admit, when I first had my surgery I thought to myself, "This was the biggest mistake you could've made!" The hospital was awful, I was in so much pain, I felt so sick and unhappy. For me, surgery wasn't "a dream" or something I was excited about. I didn't want it. I just knew I needed it and was resigned to that fact. Some people, they say, commit suicide if they don't get approved by their insurance companies. I can't wrap my brain around that--I would've been like, "OK, that's fine. I didn't want it anyway!" But I was diabetic and had high BP and cholesterol and knew I needed a change or I'd just die.
Two months in, I am able to eat again and feel more like myself. I struggle with getting in the vitamins, the protein, the exercise, but I am finding my way. Isn't that what the journey is about? And today was a family function where everyone made comments to me about how good I was looking, how different I was looking, how I looked like I'd lost weight.
And I felt ambivalent. Not sad, not thrilled. Just didn't really want to talk about it.
I'm not one who wants to talk about her appearance. I thought I looked ok before! Not pretty. Not thin. Not average or typical. I know I'm overweight and I know that's not so appealing. But I have pretty good self-esteem and I'm smart and fun and not unattractive. So having so many people comment on my APPEARANCE, judging me on my progress--just very uncomfortable. I'm not as heavy. But I'm still heavy. Only, when people didn't talk about it in front of me before, now they do! Not loving it!
