silve1
I'm not really sure how to begin. I wasn't always really heavy. In my childhood, there were times when I was slender. And then there were times when I would become thick but not obese. I was definitely teased in elementary school and junior high (funny how you never forget those things). In high school, I was bigger than the other girls (I was a 12-14). A lot of people would say things behind my back; only the real jerks would say it to my face. But, I danced a lot and was very solid as opposed to fat.
I got thin (nutri-system then weight-watchers) just before I entered college (about 17 yrs old). It was great. Unfortunately, it didn't last. By 19, I had moved to Florida. I hadn't been dancing in a couple of years and it showed. So, I became an aerobics instructor and toned up again. I started to date bodybuilders and that kind of helped. I started to train and compete in local bb shows. I got insanely crazy with how much I ate, how much salt was in my food, the protein, carbs, fiber. I had a journal I called "The Bible". It could tell you how much fluid I was taking in and how much I was putting out. Needless to say, when I stopped..... I crashed. I would eat entire cakes and 1/2 gallons of ice cream because I had deprived myself for about two years. Then I would vomit, just because my stomach couldn't hold it; I never forced myself.
I fluctuated up and down for the next couple of years. Then I began nursing school. During that time, my mom got sick, and I moved back to Maryland (and had to restart nursing school over again). Within the next two years, my mother got worse and passed away. She died a week before I graduated. I was probably about 185 lbs. I had started Jenny Craig during nursing school but I thought the taste was terrible.
After my mom passed, I actually stopped eating for a while. I had started on some anti-depressants that made me not want to eat. But I also was just not interested. Normally, I would eat when I was happy or sad (thats how my family was), but after she died, I just didn't care. With a little help from some very good friends, I made the decision to return to my "home", Florida. I started exercising again and doing the Atkins diet. I lost a good amount of weight. I was probably about 145-150 lbs (which on my frame looks and feels good).
Then, I met my husband, the love of my life. There isn't enough space in the world to describe what a wonderful soul he has and how much I love him. We met in August 2003. Within 2 weeks, we both knew that we would get married to each other. He asked me in February 2004. I decided to go off birth control pills because I figured it would probably take us a while to get pregnant and without the pill, I never had regular periods. Well, that was the gateway for fat.
I was putting on weight no matter what I did. By my wedding in October 2004, I had put on 40 lbs (mind you in 7 months). A friend of mine, a nurse practitioner, started to ask me questions about my hair growth, periods, and weight gain. She suggested I get tested for PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). Well, what do you know? I had it alright. I tried the medication but unfortunately, throwing up every morning from it didn't sit well with me, so I stopped. But the weight didn't.
My husband was very supportive. I would put us both on Atkins (even though he was only about 179 lbs and 5'7"). He would cheat and eat oreo cookies at work. I would be forever faithful. He would lose 6 pounds. I would lose 1/4 lb. My frustration level soared.
My friend, the nurse practitioner, started talking to me about weight loss surgery in December of 2005. The weight gain had really started to take a toll on my body. My left knee couldn't bear the weight (I had an old injury there anyway) and I was now getting cortisone shots in the knee just to be able to get by. I was always short of breath and I could feel my heart pounding. I started to have a little stress incontinence. I was depressed. And mentally the worst thing for me..... pregnancy was not going to happen. My doctors said it would be more unhealthy for me to gain more wait with fertility drugs and then carry the baby, then to just lose weight first. But PCOS makes it a vicious cycle. I tried Nutri-system again, then medi-fast, then atkins again, then weight watchers. I failed every time.
In June or July of 2006, I finally went to a support group meeting for wls and then to a consult. I actually just thougt I would qualify for a lap-band or sleeve gastrectomy (not by insurance, just by medical standards). I was stunned when the doc told me I was an excellent candidate for RNY Bypass. WHAT?? I was 238 lbs and rising and my BMI was 41.3 and I was severely or morbidly obese. My husband and I went home in awe of what we had just learned.
After consulting with the bariatric surgeon about two more times, I then met with my endocrinologist, gynecologist, and primary physician. They were all for the surgery, especially since I was always out of breath. My family, especially my husband, were all very supportive. My father had just lost 100 lbs with weight watchers, but he understood there was more than just hand to mouth problems going on with my weight gain.
And so, I scheduled my surgery for November 3, 2006 (for work reasons). There was an exclusion on my husband's insurance policy (we use his benefits) regarding wls. It had nothing to do with United Healthcare. His job had chosen to exclude that as a possibility for their employees. Rather than gain any more weight or try and buy another individual policy, we chose to pay out of pocket (with some help from family). Now I was 250 lbs and still gaining weight and we decided that my health was more important than the debt. We would make it work.
I would say the rest is history, but really..... its only the beginning!
