Sherita1972

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So much has happened in the last  few years. I've had some good days and some bad days. Days I'm proud of and days that I'm ashamed of. This weight loss journey is seriously no joke! I've struggled and overcome and at times I've out right failed. I had to come back to this website to reflect in where I started, rejoice and reflect in how far I've come and to get confirmation that I can do it again!

I'm Up 15 pounds and feel like the biggest person walking. I can not only see the physical change (round belly, fuller face, arms and legs) but I feel the weight gain. Having issues with my back, knees and just fatigued. The more discussed I get with myself the more bad foods I eat. I've got to stop this cycle before I balloon back up to 230 lbs! I know it can happen fast!

I'm just out right ashamed of how I've just allowed myself to get back to this place of disappointment and disgust. I'm not going to stay here in this pity party long, I'm dusting myself off and getting back on track starting tomorrow. Just had to be open and honest with myself.

I need support and I knew that I'd find it here again.

I finally made up my mind this past weekend that I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to losing these 6 lbs that I gained over the last month.  So, I signed up for this weight tracker on my cell phone called Lose It to help me keep a daily track on what I'm eating and how much of it is protein.  Guess what???? it's working, because this morning, I stepped on the scale and I lost 2 lbs!!!!  I've been killing it in the gym!  

I found my motivation by reading and seeing the posts from people on Instagram who are struggling just like me.  They post pictures and lots of motivational quotes which I found to be extremely helpful.  All I know is, I'm pumped up again and eating right as well as getting in my daily workout and I'm seeing results!  I'll update you all soon on how I'm doing. 

 

So I thought it best that I come back "home" where I feel safe to air out my frustrations and get support.

Since my 40th birthday celebration, I've not been working out nor eating like I should.  I've managed to GAIN 6lbs! I know you're probably thinking 6lbs is nothing, but to me it's EVERYTHING!!!  My clothes are starting to fit a little tighter and I'm just "uncomfortable" in them.  I constantly complain about it to my husband and he's not trying to hear it.  He thinks I look great and really can't see any difference in my appearance.  His solution is to "go up a size" in my clothes!!! WTF? Really? I try to tell him that that's the LAST thing I want to do.  He doesn't understand the struggle and how women view clothes and their bodies otherwise, he would have never said to go up a size.  He doesn't understand what the "big deal" is...after all, no one is "looking" at my tag to see what size I'm in and if going up a size will make me more comfortable and "look" more comfortable, that's what I should do.  SMH....men just DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I'm thankful my husband is trying to be supportive, but this is NOT what I need nor WANT to hear! 

My other problem is - I've not been working out as I should.  I'm only working out for 30 minutes, 2xs a week, which is NOTHING compared to what I use to do.  I've just gotten lazy.....I want to plop in front of the TV and watch Real Housewives of New Jersey and pig out on sweets.....all night.  I recognize this behavior and know that I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't seem to get control of my mind and stop.  Yes, I know it's wrong and I feel guilty about it....before I reach for the bag of Lays potato chips and AFTER I eat them.  I oftentimes find myself "sneaking" into the kitchen after everyone has gone to bed and indulging on chips, Vanilla Oreo cookies, soda, cake....It tastes SOOO GOOD, but I feel so bad afterward.  I know I've stretched my pouch because I can eat an entire sandwich now, whereas I use to only be able to eat 1/2 a sandwich.

I've got to make a change and quick because I don't want to continue to gain weight and end up back to where I started.  I'm sure my HATERS would relish in the "I knew she wasn't gonna keep it off" talk....I WILL NOT GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION of saying that!!!!!

It's so hard for me to get motivated right now.  I joined Gold's Gym last month, but I've only been 3 times! I'm ashamed, but I'm being honest.

Help me OH family and tell me how I can get control of my cravings and get motivated to workout again so I can shed these unwanted pounds.  

I know I should be happy, but I HATE my stomach! This sagging skin is the pits! I can't afford surgery to do something about it though.

I know I should be happy and yes, I feel and look great, but I still see myself as FAT most times.....I don't understand it.  My family tells me pretty much daily how SKINNY I am, but sometimes, I don't see it, I just see a fat stomach.....UGH! I wish I could just be happy with my looks..........

 

I'm almost thru week 3 of my Revolution and now my knees are messing up. :(  I'm sure it's all the lunges and squats I'm doing. Looks like I'll have to stop for a bit so my knees can recover, they are literally aching all day for the last three days. Bomber!

 

I couldn't find my ice packs last night, so I got some frozen veggies out the freezer to ice my knees.  It didn't help though because I ached all night.  Something always seems to get in my way when I'm on my exercise kick.  I'm trying to get tight and toned for summer AND for my 40th birthday which is coming up in a few months.  This too shall pass, I want give up!  Guess I'll just have to walk for exercise until they feel better. :(

OMG! I MUST be CRAZY!!  As you all know, I was suppose to start the Jillian Michaels Revolution on last week, but I decided to start it off today....OMG!!! Jillian is C-R-A-Z-Y!! I wanted to quit SOO bad, but I pulled through.  I'm literally shaking from sweat and exhaustion! The workout was none stop for 30 minutes. I thought I was in great shape, BUT Jillian showed me I wasn't! :( I thought I was gonna vomit the workout was so intense and this is only Week 1, Day 1!! I can say, you'll get a great workout and burn.  I was thinking about working out on the treadmill everyday also, but I think I'll just stick with this DVD. Time to hit the shower! 

So I've decided to transform my body!  I saw a commerical where Jilliam Michaels was introducing her new Body Revolution and I got excited with the possiblity of transforming my flabby body so I order the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution!!!

I'm gonna try my best to get through the 90 day program without quitting. She's a tough cookie! I'll start my transformation on Monday.  I'm gonna do my best to keep my site updated with my progress and to hold myself accountable.

Before starting, I took the time to read through the material and make sure I have my meal plan and workout schedule down so I don't fall short. I also completed a Motivation board to keep myself motivated.

I'm praying that I suceed in completing the 90 day program AND getting completely toned and firm all over!  Summer is around the corner and I want to be ready!

Here is a look at my Motivation board, let me know what you think.

I'm so happy to report that I have reached my weight loss goal.  It was 150lbs and I weigh 148! Praise God!!!!!!!!  Now, I've got to maintain it.

I'm so very grateful this Christmas that I'm healthy, happy and near goal.  Time has really flown by since I had my surgery a little over 19 months, it almost seen surreal.  I had to check in and post a few pictures of how I look today.  I see myself daily in the mirror and "know" that I've lost all the weight, but it doesn't really hit home for me until I see myself in pictures.

Here is a picture of me on Sunday, December 18, 2011 - I was like WOW! Is that me??? I can't believe the transformation. 



Here is a picture of me before going out with my husband to a Christmas party Sunday night - Sunday, December 18, 2011, and I can't tell you how excited I was to get all dressed up and feel comfortable and SEXY in my own skin.   Here is my pic.



In the past I've complained over and over about stalling and not reaching my goal, but as I reflect on how I feel now and see that I have my confidence and high self esteem back....I'm not complaining anymore. I'm celebrating my success this Christmas rather than focus on that I'm not at goal.....I'm just so very grateful that I'm not 227 lbs!!!!  When I think about that, it puts it all into perspective for me.

I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!

It's been a while since I last posted here, so I thought I'd go back to write and see if I can find some encouragement from my people who understands exactly how I feel.....So my weight is not changing no matter what I do.  I'm still fluctuating between 3-5 lbs - 155 - 160! :(  I've resolved that I will not lose anymore weight since it's been about a year that I've been here at the same weight.

I started getting depressed on yesterday as I was getting ready for church.  When I put on my clothes, although they are size 6 or 8 I still felt fat.  I went through 4 suits before I found one that was OK to wear, but it was a size 10 and I got mad because it was too loose!  I felt like my stomach is huge, everyone can see my rolls and that I looked fat! :(  I managed to cheer up myself by putting on some sexy red heels, which worked for a little while. 

My family and friends constantly tell me I look great, but I don't see it.  It's weird how I can be 155 lbs and still feel like that 227 lb lady....I don't understand what it is.  Am I tripping, do anyone else feel this way occassionally?  Some days, I think and feel GREAT, but a lot of times, I feel FAT!  It's weird....I can look in a full length mirror and see that I'm smaller and look pretty good, but I don't FEEL it, what's the deal????