shellzy57

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I can't believe how much time has passed since I have entered a posting!  Now that January is almost over, we are definitely into those dangerous months when eating can get the best of me!

It has been nine months since my surgery, and so far, I have lost 73 pounds!  Whoopee!  But my surgeon thinks I am lagging behind by about 10 pounds.  That makes me sad.  I also have been noticing some old habits creeping back, but I am trying really hard to stop them cold!

Something that helps is reading my posts and seeing what a struggle it was to get where I am today, and that I NEVER want to be where I was nine months ago.  I have not been on this site for awhile, either, so I am going back to reading some message boards and gaining more incentive for the final stretch!

Also, the one thing that I will be adding is EXERCISE!!!

I thought I would post something while I am on vacation, as I am learning so much about my eating habits!  I am finding that my "eyes" are still in the pre-surgery mode, and that was so evident to me when we went grocery shopping.  We have so much food in our beach house that I don't know who is going to eat it!

I still love to cook, and even though I do NOT try to eat more than I can, I am still cooking larger portions!  But with all the temptations around, I have been pretty proud of myself!  I made sure that I bought all the things I needed to stay on track.

This vacation has really been an eye opener for me....

It's been so long since I posted an entry here....It's been a challenging couple of months, and I have learned many things in terms of what I can eat and what I can't eat.  Overall, I think I am settling in to this new lifestyle pretty well.  I really don't miss eating like a pig; some days I wish I could just binge out, but that feeling lasts maybe a minute.  If I crave something, it isn't as strong as it used to be.  I have specific items to eat if I crave something crunchy, sweet, salty, etc.  I eat a little of it and then I am done.  They aren't the old foods I would go for, but they are satisfying and within my nutritional guidelines!

I never thought I would be able to say goodbye to my old habits, but it really has been easier than I thought, except for the first few weeks when I was in a funk.  But here it is, almost August, and I have lost 47 pounds!  I went shopping yesterday and bought a few clothes, and I loved it!

OK, I was not going to freak out about this, but it has been almost two weeks, and I have been in a dreaded stall.  I hate this.....and on top of this all, I am starting to get an appetite back, and can tolerate eating more food.  However, I am sooooo glad that I had a few episodes of "tossing my cookies" in the beginning, because now I work like heck to avoid that.  I stop eating as soon as I am full, not stuffed.

But this stall is so frustrating!  I know that I have not been exercising enough, but still, I KNOW I should be losing, because I am eating and drinking the right things.  I read other's posts and see that this is pretty normal, so I am going to ride it out!  I am sure that my body will "get it" and start losing again!

Well, it's been almost 7 weeks and I think I am finally getting the hang of this....and 30 pounds lost so far, yeah!!!  I must admit that Memorial Day was challenging with all the food, but I did well, and did not cheat at all (how could I; after eating protein, there's no room left to cheat!!)

The metal taste and stank breath are starting to go away a little, and I am not as turned off by food like I was in the beginning.  It's funny how things change as the weeks go on...

I noticed something in this last week.....the BIG BITES that people take of their food.  I sit there thinking, "how can they eat that big of a bite of food?  I would throw up if I put that big of a piece of food in my mouth!"  Very interesting how your perceptions change.

All in all, things are going pretty well.  I have more energy, do not get winded when I take a shower, and was even able to climb the big hill near my house, that usually I have to stop two to three times to get up there!

It's been awhile since I've updated!  Well, things are going ok....I started back to work part time, which I am so glad of....I was getting bored at home!  I am getting sick of pureed foods, and have had some days where I've been kinda depressed.  The best way I can describe the feeling is as if I am disconnected or something.  Just knowing that something is different inside of me is weird.

But the other day, I had my first case of throwing up.  I guess I have been a little adventurous in the food department, and tried to eat some melted, spicy cheese dip that friends of mine ordered from Olive Garden.  Well, everything else after that was coming up, and I think the cheese plugged up the stoma.  Well, everything came up alright!

And just today, I had an two episodes of foamies, after taking some pills.  I am so afraid that something got stuck down there; I sure hope not, because I am so afraid of a stricture...well, since then, I am being a good girl...soft and pureed foods is it!

All in all, I am feeling a lot better.  My one month follow up with the doctor is in three days, and I get to see how much weight I lost!  Yippee!

Wow, I can't believe that I haven't posted for awhile!  Well, ever since the drain came out, I feel so much better.  I can eat pureed now, and have more of a variety of foods.  Physically and emotionally, I am better, although there still are days where I feel "funky".  I go back to work next Monday, and I can't believe three weeks will have passed already.

I do have to admit, there are some days where I am just bored of pureed foods, but it could be worse......I could still be doing clear liquids!  The weight is coming off, but I have to stay away from that damn scale and wait until my follow ups to get weighed!

All in all, I feel great and am praying for continued success in this wild ride of a journey!

I think I may have turned a little corner today; I woke up feeling a little better and finally starting to get a better mind set about all of this.  I was still weepy, but it got better as the day passed!

The things that helped me were mainly the support of my friends and family, who have been there since the beginning......they have helped me to realize that I am a strong woman, and that, yes, I can get through this.  Just think of all the great things I will be able to do now, and not feel so tired and worn out!

So, as I prepare to go to bed, I say that all in all, today was pretty good.  Although I am soooooooo tired of clear liquids, jello and popsicles!  And my drain comes out tomorrow.....yeah!

I think this is the worst day I have had so far.....just so teary and irritable.  I have been so upset and discouraged that I even posted on the message boards for help.  So many people on there have been sooo encouraging and helpful.

I think I am going through buyer's remorse, which I see is normal.  Also, I am not used to all these bodily changes, the burps, the foamies, the rumblings and grumblings in my tummy, etc.  I'm not hungry, and hate drinking water, but I do it.  I can't stand the taste of crystal light.  Popsicles are my only solace right now.

On top of this, I have been trying to be a martyr and not take my pain medicine, which was totally wrong!  When I finally broke down and took it tonight, I felt soooo much better, so relaxed and in less pain.  I have not wanted to talk to anybody or see anyone either, but I know that is part of the recovery.  I am not a person who takes time out for herself, and always want to do for others, so this is hard.  I am learning an awful lot about patience and perseverence, let me tell you.  But at the end of this evening, things seemed to have felt a little better.  I was even able to read some magazines and concentrate on a movie.  Maybe things will get better; I definitely can't wait for this damn drain to be pulled out!!

Well, these last three days have been absolutely difficult.  I never had surgery before, and really didn't expect this much pain; all I know is that I am glad that I am home.

Emotions like I've never had have been going through me.....anxiety, sadness, grief, etc.  Today, though, has been better.  The pain medicine sure helps, and so do my friends and family.

I did a bad thing and got on the scale, and saw that I gained almost 20 pounds!  How the hell could I do that.....I haven't eaten a thing!  Well, I called my doctor's office and the assistant there confirmed that from all the IV's and the gas that was pumped into me for the surgey, that it is normal to gain weight until that is all out of your system!

I have been trying to get in my water, and doing a pretty good job.  I hate the "burpies", but I guess I am going to have to get used to those!  I also tried chicken broth, and it went down ok, but I wasn't too fond of it.  I will try a popsicle later.  I am just glad to be home....