shelli
I am 22 years old and I am in the process of getting approval for the WLS. I am so inspired by this website that I would like to put my story up if possible.
My name is Shelli Mullins and I am almost 23 years old. I am happily married and a mother of a beautiful daughter. I am 5'7" and 330 pounds. I was around 167 when I first started to date my husband. Over the next five years I gained about thirty pounds a year. I was so involved with him and our new life together that I completely forgot about me.
My weight had always been an issue I had to play close attention to my whole life. From about fourth grade I had tried every diet imaginable. I would yo-yo between chubby and sporty. I had bad years and good years. Then when I was in highschool I went to a doctor who prescribed phen-fen for me. The weight just started falling off me. I went from 220 to 160 in a matter of months. I was willing to pay the consequences of the fluttering heart and sleepless nights. I was starting to feel attractive for the first time in my life.
That is when I met my husband. We were 16 and crazy in love. Fast forward seven years and we are married, in our house with out daughter Sophia. I look down at myself and realize that I let go. I let go of the maintenance that I know it takes to fight the battle of the bulge. Happiness and Love had blinded me to the painful reality that staying healthy means spending some time working on yourself.
I looked at myself in the mirror for what seemed the first time in 7 years. My body, my creativity, my soul, my spirit, my freedom, my sexuality, my pride, my confidence...I had let it all wither away. I knew I had to do it. I had to turn around and go back to where I had lost control. I needed it all back. That fiercesom girl who took the world head on with out once worrying what anyone else thought was now a shadow of herself. I wonder how my husband has lived with me this way. Not because of being overweight. But with my spirit depleting this way.
I am about to go to my last doctor appointment this week. Then I will get my referral to the WLS doctors. I think this is where my insurance company will decide on my approval. I can't imagine being turned down. Over the last couple years I have had kidney problems, liver problems, high blood pressure, pregnancy complications, skin allergies, and a constant aching in my hips. I am only 22 folks and I feel like I am fallin apart. I hate to admit it but, I have my heart set on this surgery. I can't imagine living my life without now that I have had a glimpse of what my life could be like. If only the insurance companies could understand they are giving people their lives back. Sad lonely people who are isolated from everyone they love. I want to look right into their eyes and tell them that what they are doing is far more than a medical procedure. They are giving a rose a second chance to bloom after a frost.
I will update again after my doctor's appointment. I want to write about all the emotions this surgery is bringing up but being a mom and I wife I don't have time right now. (You know how it is).
6-14-04 Well I have done all my tests. Most weren't that bad. I tested positive for the H-pylori, and I am taking some serious antibiotics. I am currently waiting for my psych to give me the okay for surgery. She is draggin her feet, which is making me a lil bit nervous. She asked for the number to the bariatric nurse and wouldn't really say why. I am hopin that is just me being crazy and all will be ready to submit to my surgeon this week for final approval. I am more excited for surgery than ever. Reading everyone else's profiles is so amazing. Everyone's journey is different. I have noticed that I am doing strange things like avoiding people and family that I don't want to see again while I am overweight. I am just thinking that if I hold out the next time I see them I will be alot lighter and not so ashamed and uncomfortable. I am hoping my husband and I can hold out that long. I am putting him through the ringer with all the self esteem issues and insecurities that keep popping up. I was in pretty good shape when we first started dating and he hasn't really changed, so I feel like I somehow trapped him and that is the worst concept imaginable. He would never even hint on something like that but your mind starts creating thoughts like that when you are insecure. You question everyone's motives for being kind to you. I can't wait to gain back my self confidence again. I find myself dreading getting dressed in the morning or going out with our friends because i feel so enormous. I am more ready than i have ever been for this surgery. Food is definitely not worth this alienated feeling. I hope the next time I update I am scheduled.
6-29-04 AAAAAAAAAAARrrrrrrrrrrGGGhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huge set back today. My surgeons office called and said that my psych recommended 4-6 months of counseling before I should have the surgery. I can't get another opinion because she is the only psych covered by my insurance. I typed a rebuttle and we will se where it goes from there.
7-2-04 I took the advice of the responses from my message board posting and went to another psychiatrist. I had to pay $368.oo out of pocket but it was a completely different experience. The second evaluation was focused mainly on the surgery and not about my personal life and childhood. It was about one hour long instead of two and a half. My new doctor specializes in these evaluations and she said that she would have my report on my surgeon's desk by wednesday(the day he looks over charts) I was so excited considering I had to hunt down my last psych for a month trying to just get a return phonecall. I really appreciate that level of promptness. My first psych based her entire evaluation on the events that happened after the evaluation instead of during. she didn't even have the nerve to tell me on the phone that she recommended more surgery. Instead she told me everything looked good and then told my surgeon I had high frustration levels. I thought to myself "who wouldn't be frustrated after a full month of being blown off." So chalk it up to experience. I am now more excited than ever. Hoping to hear something wednesday.
8-30-04 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
I have been approved. I am so excited. Finally after a year of preparing I am finally approved. I am pretty nervous and scared but I think that will fade away now that I am getting closer and need to focus on preparing. I will have my surgery on August 23rd. I can't wait. My mom is taking me on a cruise in January and now I have a goal to look forward to. I am going to try to start losing now so I can get ahead. lol. I am so excited. I am going to support groups more and trying to really accept this as my new lifestyle. I will update more often now that I am going to be preparing.
8-29-04 Well I am officially on the losing side now but I guess I am in that weird regretful stage I hear everyone talk about. I am hoping I too will laugh at this post later thinking I was crazy but for right now I really mean it. I have spent the past week in so much pain. I have horrible gas and it hurts really bad. It hurts when I drink anything and I am the thirstiest person alive. I spent my whole afternoon feeling queezy today and finally it peaked into a hot flash and ended with me puking in the kitchen sink. Throwing up is my least favorite thing to do in the world and now I am scared to death to eat or drink anything. I miss so many foods already and I hate the isolation i feel from friends and family. I don't ever want to puke again but it is becoming a nasty reality for me. I am pretty pissed because I can never get ahold of my surgeon so the message board on this site has been my only saving grace. My incision looks like a huge railroad track running down my abdomen. I got my period for the second time this month. the antibiotics gave me a yeast infection, I have diarrhea. Oh yeah I am feeling really sexy. I keep hoping this is a dream and I am going to wake up and still be pre-op. I am hoping things take a turn for the better cause right now I am in a bad funk.
10-11-2004 Okay I am ready to laugh at that last post now. I am about seven weeks out and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I have been losing about seven pounds a week. I am now down to 280. I am pretty excited about that. Man I really went through a period of slight depression. I think I was mourning food and the commradery that you miss out on. I am doing alot better now and feeling great. My clothes are getting really big on me and my face is really changing. People are starting to notice and that is cool but akward. I tried alcohol about a week ago. I know that is pretty early but it didn't really affect me. I have been sticking to my diet but making small realistic allowances. Like I tried a bite of brownie at a barbeque the other day. I took one bite and savored it then moved on. I was proud of myself for being able to move past it. Pre=op I would have obsessed over it untill I had eaten the whole dozen. lol. Sex is getting better and better as my weight comes off, that is an added bonus. I am getting more and more excited about shopping and the cruise coming up in January. I was hoping to be at the century mark by then. I guess we will have to wait and see. I will update more often.
I am officially loving this surgery. I hate the scar from it but I am loving the affects. I am finally starting to feel that extra energy people talk about. I went and worked out last night. It felt so good to see the calories i burnt. I would recommend this surgery to anyone who wanted to get their life back. You don't realize how much you missed out on untill it starts coming back. I am already feeling huge benefits from this surgery. I am eating healthier by choice now, because I found out I don't really dump so I could eat anything I wanted. But I have come so far that It isn't worth it anymore to eat sweets and carbs. They just don't gratify like they used to. I am happy and excited for more loss.
12-8-04 Okay my weight loss has slowed way down. I am now at 250 lbs. and I have hit my first plateau at almost four months out. I wanted to be 200lbs by January and I definitely know that isn't happening. I am going to have to try to kick it up now to break this plateau. I am going to add protein, water, and get rid of all carbs for awhile. I go for my check up soon. I am sorta scared of what the Dr. will say. I hope all my blood levels are alright. I will update after my check up.
12-31-04 Happy New Year!!! Suprisingly all of my labs came back normal. So I am happy. I am still on quite the plateau. Trying to break it. I am enjoying the new clothes, and night life. I am going out for New Year's Eve. Something I haven't done EVER! Too Fun.
2-1-05 Okay so I am so happy about this surgery I could scream. I hit my century mark before six months, which was a huge goal for me. I went on a cruise and didn't feel like a huge blimp and everyday when I wake up I feel a little bit prettier than the day before. My body is showing some major changes and I can't believe it. I am down from 337 to 235. I haven't been 235 in 6 years. I am soooo happy. I am loving clothes again. I am finally able to wear stuff that I actually like. Usually plus size shopping is a huge comprimise of what you like to what will actually fit. My marriage is doing so good I don't even know how to put it in words. I think my new self confidence is really helping us. We are growing and changing together. We did alot of talking on the cruise and we are changing the things about our marriage that were just old bad habits. I thought you could never teach an old dog new tricks, but that is just a cliche that is definitely not true. Our love life is sooo exciting. Each time we are together it is a new experience. I am feeling sexier and more desirable on my dh's part. He can't keep his hands off me, which is something I have longed for. I am doing really well with my loss lately. I have been trying to get in some form of physical activity in every day. I haven't really been getting to the gym like I should but I will for sure. I feel like warmer weather is on the way and I can't wait to fully enjoy this spring and summer. I am eating pretty much regular foods except I try to stay away from carbs and sugar. I will drink a diet pop every now and then, and sometimes I will fall off the wagon and have some chocolate or something. I just want to be honest with myself. I don't really dump which is something I think is a disadvantage. There really isnt anything I can't eat. So I really have to be my own warden. Well I gotta go for now but I will try to update more often. I will definitely put more new pics up soon to show my century mark.
7-5-2005 Well summer is in full swing here and I am enjoying it to the fullest. I am swimming, camping, bike riding, and generally having a good time. I haven't felt this alive or beautiful since I was 16. I am having a good time and appreciating every bit of it. I am down 140lbs and still losing slowly but surely. I am eating a regular diet just much less than I used to. I look forward to reaching 180 by my one year anniversary. I feel like this surgery is a total success.
8-4-2005 Huge news. I am pregnant. I am seven weeks and couldn't be happier. I want this baby so bad. After miscarrying last January I had given up a little bit on the idea of another baby. I am just thirty pounds from my goal so I am totally satisfied with this surgery. It has saved my life in every way. I am estatic and can't wait untill I am out of the woods.
2-21-07 Alot has happened since I last updated. I had my son Jude and he is now 11 months old. I am pregnant with my second son and couldn't be happier. I am not quite at goal yet but I will be as soon as I have my son in July. I am planning some plastic surgery soon after I am at my goal. I am still a huge fan of this surgery and can't count the ways it has tremendously changed my life for the better. My marriage, my health, my motherhood, my productivity, my spirituality, ect. It has honestly changed my exsistance for the better in more ways than I can imagine. I am on a journey to discover my happiest, wholest, healthiest self and I feel myself getting closer everyday.
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