ShaunaKB

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I'm 100 down, have 25 or 65 or 85 pounds to go--depending on who you ask and when. 

But... I've lost 100 pounds!!!!!! 

 I've never, ever lost that much weight (at once) in my life--and that's saying something!  I've never needed to lose quite that much weight before, but that's not the point!  I've actually lost 100 pounds!  I find that amazing.  Yet, I'm still feeling like it's going way slower than it should, which leads to my thinking I'm doing something really wrong!  I'll get over it if I continue to lose weight, and I can continue to lose for at least 8 more months!  Keeping my fingers crossed.

My surgeon's PA said their goal for me is 190 lbs, which I don't get since that is barely into the "Overweight" BMI range for my height, but that's within 25 pounds!  My MINIMUM goal is 150, which is the very top of my "Healthy" BMI range, but I really want to get down to 135-ish!  Some of that is likely the ED talking, since that part of me wants to get under 120, but I'm trying to be OK with the idea of 150, wait until I get there, then decide what I want to do.  Regardless, I'm thrilled to be 100 pounds lighter this summer than I was last summer!

 I went to an arts festival during the July 4th weekend, and when I went to buy a T-shirt, I asked what was available in an extra-large or XXL.  The guy looked at me and said, "those aren't going to fit you!"  A year ago, that would have been because they were too small.  NOT THIS TIME, BABY!  He went on to tell me that I'd be swimming in those shirts, and I should probably get a Large, unless I was looking for a sleep shirt or something!  Wow!  That was weird.  It was also weird to have all the different designs to choose from--not just one or two that came in extended sizes!  What a concept!! Who'd of thought losing so much weight would equal so many choices, and so many more decisions!  I'll take it!

All around, it's been a great week!  I'm still struggling some with ED stuff, and I'm having some trouble of late with my workout routine, and getting enough workouts in every week because I've been busy with so many things.  I don't want to get out of the habit of exercising after having almost 2 years of consistently working out, so my recent absences from the gym bother me.  However, I've also realized that I need to learn that I can count going for a walk and doing things outside as exercise; I currently don't count anything unless it's at the gym and I push myself super hard.   That means I'm spending time beating up on myself for not exercising hard enough, which I'm trying to work on doing less of.  It's another place I need to rewire my brain to think differently.  There seems to be so many things after this surgery that one must re-examine and re-learn, but it is soooooo...worth it, and I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!!!

I just got home from my monthly surgery support group, met some new people and had a great time after a really good day.

It's been four months since my surgery!  It actually seems like it was a long, long time ago; when I get frustrated with the slowing speed of weight-loss, I have to remind myself, "It's only been four months!"  And at 4 months, I'm officially, by the doctor's office scale, down 63 lbs.!  On my scale at home, I'm under 250 lbs.!  I haven't been under 250 for, like 15 years!  I would diet, get around 260, and get stuck.  Finally!!!

And while I'm thrilled by the "numbers," I'm even more excited about the difference I've noticed at the gym, sleeping, just walking to the car or moving through space, that 60+ less pounds makes.  When I really think about what it would be like to be carting around three 20 lb. bags of cat food on my back, 24/7, I get why I have so much more energy and feel so much better--and why I was soooooo tired and had so much pain all the time before! My heart and skeletal system, my whole body, are THRILLED there's 63 pounds less to haul around!

My confidence has increased by leaps and bounds, and I'm starting to re-discover a social life and the friendly, outgoing personality that has been hidden under a shield of fat (and embarrassment/shame).  I'm meeting people and doing things I wouldn't have done before surgery, and it's wonderful!  I was a delegate to the Denver Democratic convention this month, and am putting myself "out there," not constantly worrying that people are staring at me because I'm so massively huge (still big, but not as stand-out-huge).  I'm discovering that I have interests and goals I either didn't know that I had before, or that I finally believe, for the first time, could happen (like skydiving or taking a service vacation to help people in New Orleans or Africa, or help with a wildlife preservation project).

Being the driven, inpatient-with-self person that I am, I'm gunning for my next big milestone:  getting under 200 lbs.!  I can't wait for that, it's been over 20 years since I was under 200; too long!  One of the reasons I decided to have the surgery was because the amount of weight I wanted to lose (170-180 lbs.), seemed insurmountable and impossible.  I still have a long way to go, but I'll be within my "healthy" weight/BMI range in less than 100 lbs. (My actual, personal goal is 115 pounds away)  That's still quite a long way away,  but knowing that "healthy" is within 100 lbs. seems downright manageable!

Had surgery at 3 P.M. on November 13.  it went well, though those days in the hospital are mostly a blur--except Thursday when a friend brought my giant lap cat, Beau, to visit me in the hospital (if you have furry children, you should definitely ask whether or not your hospital will allow a pet to visit--a lot actually do!).

i was discharged on Friday (11-16) in the late afternoon and stayed with my parents for three days.  When I got home last Monday, I was still on oxygen because I was having some trouble getting my lungs cleared out and couldn't get my O2 above 87, but I was having very little pain, and I knew I had lost a few pounds already.

I went to the bathroom to check how much I'd lost and if not for just getting out of the hospital and being on oxygen I would have jumped up and down--I was under 300!  I had tried for a year to get back under 300 lbs, and thanks to surgery, I'd done it in less than a week!

Tomorrow I'll be 2 weeks out, and though today has been a little rough, I'm so thrilled--I'M  ***SAFELY*** UNDER 300, AND I'M NEVER, EVER, EVER GOING BACK!!! 

My jeans, that I haven't been able to wear--either comfortably or at all-- since last September (2006) fit again!  The only semi-downer is that they're still a bit tight in the waist (where I carry most of my fat and have the hardest time losing it!), but they're baggy in my legs (my legs being where i carry a lot less weight, and where I seem to be losing the most right now--of course)!

Still--

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!  I'm done with the 300's, and now I'm ready to tackle the 200's-- for the LAST time!