Shannahlynn
Life starts...NOW
Jul 25, 2010
OK this is it, last week I got my approval from my Bariatric surgeon for the go ahead. In 6 months I am suppose to loose 35 lbs jump through the other medical hoops and have my gastric bi pass surgery! So before I went to my appointment I had the last "bad" meal I am going to ever {ish} have again. Burger King breakfast, and the only thing I did kinda good with it was I had OJ cause I don't drink coffee. So, ya, I added the sugar to all the fat and calories... whoopee. But since then I have worked out on my Wii fit ( that is a rant I will save for another day. But, really its suppose to be for people who want to work out at home, and the weight limit is 330lbs! What is with that?) OK, I digress, sorry Nintendo gets my hackles up, I went walking with my best friend and didn't eat any of that birthday cake at my nieces party. Yes, I did eat my nephews fresh cut french fries that they didn't want, but they couldn't go to waste, and I hadn't eaten more than a sandwich at that point that day, and I had salad with a chicken breast cut up in it for dinner. FYI my Boyfriend makes the best baked chicken breasts ever, and that cold cut up in a salad with just a touch of Italian salad dressing makes a great dinner for me.
I know that this is all for a goal 35lbs in 6 months. Easy right... not for me, I loose then I gain then I think I am loosing and really I'm not, just messing with my own head, till I try to wear that outfit that just has to fit cause I lost weight don't ya know... NOT. SO this time I'm not stepping on a scale unless at the Md's office or with the nutritionist. I'm not worrying about weight, this time, size is what counts!
So here it is I wear a size 26/28 or a 4XL, wow OK that in writing now....leave it, leave it... breath, breath.
OK so there it is! I am fat....no I am obese, or as this site so pointed out SUPER OBESE! Dude Fat is fat, and in this world today either your Fat or your not, but I think the difference comes with are you a happy jolly fat, that loves life and themselves and is relatively healthy. Or are you fat, unhappy unhealthy and just counting down the days till its over. Me I fluctuate between the two my health is in the iffy stage, I have some small (relatively) medical issues, but my family history dictates that if I don't fix this now at 36 I may not make it to 40 with out some MAJOR medical stuff coming along. I have some medical issues, I have fibromalaga (sp), I have Hypothyroidism, I am probably pre diabetic ( cant imagine not how I could not be) I take daily medication for my anxiety/panic disorder.
Its funny my best friend told me last week that even thought I am a big girl people (guys) are attracted to me cause I am confident... ME CONFIDENT??????? Li has know me for almost 20ys if anyone knows me its her, I am not confident, but damn, can I but on a great mask of "I don't care what you think", and I know sometimes I come off as a bitch, and I give off this devil will care attitude. Really inside, I think every were I go, "there talking about me, and laughing behind my back," "Look at the fat girl who does she think she is..., ... have another burger... really your eating dont you think you have had enough..., man how can she walk around like that?" I never think a guys is hitting on me or trying to pick me up, I am just not the girl at the bar/football game/ party that a guy is going to pick out to "pick up". Especially not in-front of other guys! At lest not with out a dare involved. Most of the guys that I have anything long term with, both friends or otherwise, I have meet on-line, so they have seen pics and talked to me first. Most guys look at me and go, "Oh, fat and desperate...quick lay." WRONG! My boyfriend of 3+yrs and I meet on-line, he also has some confident issues. Only day I about peed my pants when he said to me that he didn't think he was good enough for me! I like to think that I have a good personality (cause what else do us big girls have going for us except those of us that have big boobs and great hair) but my outward personalty and my inside voice don't tend to talk to each other much, either that or my inside voice doesn't believe my outward person. Either way, this is it, inside and outside better start talking, cause look out world I am coming back!
About Me
New Britain, CT
Location
48.9
BMI
Surgery
12/28/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 25, 2010
Member Since
