Steve Smith
A new beginning
Jan 04, 2009
Ok so I am not really sure where to begin. So if my thoughts are not totally organized, well then oh well. :-)
So I am 31 going on 32 years-old and am currently at 274 pounds; I would like to be at 175 though. I have struggled with weight issues for many years. I have thought of pursuing weight loss surgery after seeing the benefits of it and to see what it did for my husband. But, unfortunately our insurance policy does not cover the surgery any longer. So I am on a journey to do this on my own.
I know that losing this weight is not going to be an easy task. I honestly feel I have an addiction to food and for whatever reason I am having a hard time breaking this. I also have an issue sticking to an exercise routine. I will start to workout for a few days and then I will stop. The sad part is, there is a fitness center on-site at our apartment community for me to use and I do not. I make all kinds of excuses why I cannot workout. Now granted right now, I am without my MP3 player, and having music is a big thing for me. I really believe that using the music player when working out helps me to take the focus off of the struggle to get through the workout.
On the inside, I feel so confused about where to start in this journey, and scared as hell that I will fail. I have a habit of starting things that I do not finish. I am scared that this will be another one to add to that long list. But at the same token, I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and am thoroughly disgusted by what I see. I am sure there are people out there that feel the same way I do so at least I know I am not alone.
Well, tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for me to start toward losing this weight and eating healthy. I know this is going to be a long journey, and I am curious what it will be like when I get to that finish line.
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So I am 31 going on 32 years-old and am currently at 274 pounds; I would like to be at 175 though. I have struggled with weight issues for many years. I have thought of pursuing weight loss surgery after seeing the benefits of it and to see what it did for my husband. But, unfortunately our insurance policy does not cover the surgery any longer. So I am on a journey to do this on my own.
I know that losing this weight is not going to be an easy task. I honestly feel I have an addiction to food and for whatever reason I am having a hard time breaking this. I also have an issue sticking to an exercise routine. I will start to workout for a few days and then I will stop. The sad part is, there is a fitness center on-site at our apartment community for me to use and I do not. I make all kinds of excuses why I cannot workout. Now granted right now, I am without my MP3 player, and having music is a big thing for me. I really believe that using the music player when working out helps me to take the focus off of the struggle to get through the workout.
On the inside, I feel so confused about where to start in this journey, and scared as hell that I will fail. I have a habit of starting things that I do not finish. I am scared that this will be another one to add to that long list. But at the same token, I wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and am thoroughly disgusted by what I see. I am sure there are people out there that feel the same way I do so at least I know I am not alone.
Well, tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for me to start toward losing this weight and eating healthy. I know this is going to be a long journey, and I am curious what it will be like when I get to that finish line.
