Tammi G.
The Battle Goes On!
Aug 11, 2014
I'm still fighting the daily battle against obesity and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. That's a fact - period! Yes, I had WLS in 2010 and came close to reaching my goal within 6 months. I was on top of the world, running in 5K races, buying clothes in sizes I hadn't seen in...well, sizes I hadn't seen since I was a young child, and loving every minute of it, including the attention that came with my weight loss. The compliments on how great I looked made me feel great. And, I felt fantastic! Then came the re-gain and the smirks from people who just knew I would "fail".
Yes, I'm mad. I'm mad at myself, because I slipped back into bad habits, the same habits that caused me to need WLS in the first place. Once I got close to goal, I became complacent, telling myself there was no way I could ever gain that weight back. I was going to be the "poster girl" for WLS! I had myself convinced that "one little bite" of food I knew I wasn't supposed to be eating couldn't hurt. Suddenly, that one little bite became two, and so on. I knew old demons were rearing their ugly heads when, aside from the weight gain I was experiencing, I would try to hide the fact that I was eating the wrong foods. Looking in my trash can, I knew that I might be able to hide my food choices from other people, but I couldn't hide it from myself...or the scale!
I came clean with a few of my closest friends & family and asked them to hold me accountable on the foods I eat. Then, I tracked my exercise & activities for a week and saw where I was lacking. I talked with a personal trainer acquaintance who gave me some excellent insight about my exercise routine. I not only needed to add more strength-training exercises, but she said my body type responds better to more cardio-type exercise and said that walking several times a day would be her recommendation. Getting myself back to basics and following the rules is key. Is it a pain the the ass? Of course it is! But, the day I signed on the dotted line to get my surgery, I gave up the option of whether I wanted to exercise every day or not. Do I enjoy having to take my vitamins every single day? Heck no, but I gave up that choice when I opted for RNY surgery! Is it easy drinking protein shakes & getting in 64-ounces of water every day? Absolutely not, but it's no longer an option for me. When I chose to use the tool of WLS to help me get to a healthy weight, I chose a tool that REQUIRES me to drink a half-gallon of water daily, take vitamins daily, drink protein shakes daily in order to maintain my health, weight notwithstanding. It's a battle that I wage daily and will continue to wage every day for the rest of my life. Nobody said it would be easy. But, regaining my health is worth every dang bit of it!
Picking myself up & moving forward!
Feb 05, 2014
I admit it: I've been in denial about my weight regain for a few months now. But, there's no arguing the numbers on the scale in my Dr's office. From my lowest weight of 129, I've regained 37 lbs. Initially, I was extremely upset. How could this have happened?!? I was supposed to be a success story, not one of the failures!
Well, I know EXACTLY how it happened! Instead of sticking to what I knew & learned in my pre-surgery class, I listened, instead, to other people who were jealous of my success & the attention it brought me. They convinced me that "a bite won't hurt". One bite won't, but, for someone who has dealt with a lifetime of food addiction, it doesn't end with just that one bite! That one bite rapidly becomes 2, then 10, then 20 and suddenly, my weight is shooting up again! Sure, I could easily blame my other peopler, but I only have myself to blame. I'm the one who ultimately decides what goes on my plate & in my mouth. I also failed to address the stress I was faced with daily at work, which left me physically, mentally & emotionally drained at the end of the day and too tired to exercise. I completely ignored the fact that just simply walking not only helps me release stress, but invigorates me. I was suddenly slipping into old habits; habits I vowed to never follow again. I was getting angry with myself. I was, once again, allowing others to influence my decisions. Back the truck up! I am NOT going back where I was! How could I forget the number one thing I learned in my pre-surgery class: it's OK to say "No!"
So, it's back to basics. I sat down & pulled out all of my information from my pre-surgery class & started re-reading everything. I realize I just need to take a deep breath, take a step back and just get back to basics. I need to re-establish the lifestyle changes I made before I had my surgery and immediately after. I'm not going to beat myself up about the weight gain. I'm going to say, "lesson learned," and move forward. I'm tracking my food, making better food choices, and have started watching meditation videos on YouTube to manage my stress.
When faced with choices, you have to decide, are you going to just sit there & let things happen, or are you going to choose to make the changes you need to have a better life? Me? I'm choosing to have a better life.
Everything changes
May 17, 2012
The surgery got the weight off, but now it's my job to stay committed to the lifestyle change, eating healthy, unprocessed foods, getting in plenty of water & protein and making sure I get in my daily exercise. I did see a slight gain over the last 6 months, due in large part to not exercising daily. Sure, I could easily use the excuse that my job was responsible for me not exercising, but that's all it is: an excuse. So, I set my alarm for 4:30am, every day, and go for a quick 30 minute jog. At work, I make sure I spend my break time getting in a little weight training and some core exercises. I've found that, if nothing else, walking for a minimum of 45 minutes a day helps me maintain my weight loss.
I've also discovered that not only has my body changed, but my way of thinking and how I view things has changed, too. I'm no longer afraid to stand up for myself or speak my mind. I don't let people intimidate me; I am mentally & emotionally stronger than I've ever been. It feels good to be confident and not fearful that someone will use my weight against me!
And, the biggest change for me, is how I view food now. It's no longer a source of comfort. Although I do enjoy the foods I eat and have learned to savor every bite, I see food as a source of fuel for my body. I no longer crave burgers, french fries & ice cream. Instead, I get excited thinking about what protein shake I'm going to start my day with and what fish & veggies I'm going to have with dinner!
Life is good!
1 Year Anniversary
Jan 11, 2012
As they say, better late than never! Lol! Here I am, 1 year and a month post-op and feeling great! After talking with others in my support group, my surgeon & PCP, I've re-adjusted my goal weight to 120. But, I'm not so much worried about the number on the scale as I am about how I feel and how my clothes are fitting me. I hit a plateau around November & then fluctuated a bit back & forth. I think it has a bit to do with my adjusting to eating more "regular" foods, as opposed to shakes, yogurt & broth and adjusting my workouts. I will freely admit I haven't been working out as intensely as I was a couple of months ago, due to issues at work, so that has a lot to do with it.
Exercise is such a major key in maintaining weight loss after surgery and I see it. Yes, watching what foods I eat is important, but without exercise, the surgery is no better than a fad diet. You have to make that commitment to the complete lifestyle change! I have friends who help me stay on track & keep me motivated, but I've made the commitment to holding myself accountable to me.
I know how horrible I felt before surgery and how I looked. I hated both! I love how I feel now and the fact that I can tie my shoes without getting out of breath. And, I no longer lament not being able to wear cute clothes! I love my life now and refuse to EVER go back to where I was before. LIFE IS GOOD!
Almost 6-months post-op
May 31, 2011
For others who might be reading this blog who have just had surgery or will be having surgery soon is, leggings are great for going through the initial rapid weight-loss phase. One size will cover a pretty broad range and they come in a variety of colors & textures. I found some at Walmart for $5 a pair and they've held up real well. If you're a real fashionista, local thrift stores are a great place to find inexpensive, good quality clothing. For me, the local swap meet was agreat place to pick up some nice, brand-new t-shirts on the cheap - 5 for $20! Can't beat that. Now, it's time to work on the body image!
3-Month Post-op with PCP
Mar 28, 2011
I hit the gym after work and ran 3.2 miles on the treadmill in 48:30! I was so excited! I am definitely rfeady for the Carlsbad 5000 on Sunday! I may not be the fastest person running on Sunday, but the fact that I'm running & finish the race is what's important to me!
3-month post-op appointment
Mar 15, 2011
My surgeon is very pleased with my progress & said I'm right where I should be. The few food issues I'm having are perfectly normal for this point. I will need to continue with the Actigall for another 3 months & can now add in calcium. I'm feeling great & am so glad I had the surgery. I will admit that there are a few foods that I miss, but that's more in my mind than anything. The further out I get, the less I crave certain foods.I'm totally enjoying the fact that I no longer snore, don't get migraines anymore, no longer suffer from shin splints when walking and can tie my shoes without being out of breath. I'm amazed at some of the things I'm doing now, because, in my mind, I'm still heavy. When my trainer at the gym showed me a couple of exercises, I thought, "Yeah, right. Easy for you!" Until I did the exercises myself! I'm even jogging on the treadmill now, whereas a year ago at this time, I was struggling to walk at 2mph for just 20 minutes!
I can't speak for everyone, but, for me, having the surgery was the best thing I could have possibly done. I'm enjoying my journey on the road to health!
Staying positive
Mar 10, 2011
3 months post-op
Mar 04, 2011
Also feeling extra good about myself because of all the compliments I've been getting lately. Everyone tells me I look great - and younger, too! I have to admit I was shocked to see how much weight I'd gained over the last few years and how that weight had aged me.
I am so glad I decided to have the surgery! Yes, I am still rather restricted in what I can eat & do have issues with some foods, but I know that if I'm patient & follow Dr's orders, it will get better. As they say, good things come to those who wait.
Beter late than never...
Feb 10, 2011
I finished my 1st 3 sessions with the trainer and feel great! I added 5 more sessions, just to make sure I've got the basics down for core strengthening & proper form on the machines. I had a session yesterday and, before my training, did my stretches, then hit the treadmill for 40 minutes. I had to laugh, as I trotted along at 3mph and a 4.5-degree incline. I could remember when I first started walking on the treadmill. I had no incline & walked at 2mph, and keep watching the clock for the 20 mminutes to be up! I even had to hang onto the handles to stay upright! Now, I'm walking anywhere from 2.5 to 5 miles a day & strength traing every other day.
As for the food issues, I'm just backing off of the more substantial foods for now. Protein shakes, yogurt, soups, Cream of Wheat, bananas & super soft-cooked veggies are working well. Absolutely cannot stand the sight, smell, taste or texture of eggs in any form at this point. Still can't stand refried beans, either. A well-mashed potato is okay, but I can only eat 1/4 to 1/2 of a small potato. Really wish I could eat ground beef, which my surgeon okayed for me, but even the 4% extra-lean is a no-go. Talking with some of my classmates, they're having similar issues and I guess this is just a normal process. Just have to remember patience & to keep up with my protein & vitamins.
Life is good and can only get better from here!
