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ObesityHelp

BARIATRIC SURGEON PLASTIC SURGEON HOSPITAL
Carol M
Panama City, FL, USA
Post Op - BMI: 44.6
Surgery Type: RNY
Member ID: M1088137479
Contact: Click here to send a Personal Message
Surgeon: Steve Webb, MD

Click here for Carol's surgery support page
Click here for the 10/2004 Reunion Page
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I have been married to a wonderful man for 21 years.I am a mother of 9 (combined family) and a grandmother to 11. I have been overweight since puberty set in. I am tired of being tired and I am ready to take back my life. When I first heard of gastric bypass surgery, I thought it was just for other people. That is until I started really looking at the way I live. I want to do what others do. I lived the first 50 years of my life overweight. Now I would like to do the second 50 without all the weight. I would like to walk the mall with my family without being the one that "has to sit for a while". I have never been hospitalized except to have babies and I never thought I would look forward to having surgery but after reading so manys other profiles, I am anxious to get this part of my life started. I haven't even told my parents and other relatives. My husband and the two daughters that still live at home (16 & 18) know and are very supportive but I just don't want to take the chance that others won't be as supportive or give me that....."well, you really aren't THAT big". I will hope that this all comes soon. I am not known for my patience. I will do what it takes, though, to make this happen.


7/15/04 I am going to the doctors office on July 21-22 in Jacksonville, Fl. At that time I will see the dietian and coordinator. Megan and Susan have been very nice on the phone. Helpful and also have helped me calm down. I am very excited about the surgery and it looks like we might even get this done during August. I HOPE SO! Since they all agree my insurance is approved and such all I have to come up with is the money for what my insurance doesn't pay for. It amounts up to $3500. I really don't know how I will come up with it but I am determined to do this so............I guess I need to pray for a money tree. haha
I am running on a pack of nerves. I just seem to have to stay busy all day and not sleeping much at night. I haven't even see the surgeon and already crazy. I wonder what I will be when I actually talk to the doctor. I will update with news next time not just babbling.


July 18,2004
Just trying to keep my nerves under check. I haven't even seen Dr. Webb yet and I am having lots of anxious moments. If I ever question the thought of this surgery,though, I am quickly reminded of why I am doing this. All I have to do is get up and walk around a few minutes. I become winded and my feet and legs hurt so much that I know I need to do this soon. I truly have got the feeling I won't live much longer if I don't do something fast. I only hope they get to me for the surgery before anything else gets "broke". My family is being wonderful. The money situation is tough right now and even my darling teenage daughters are pitching in parts of their money so this can happen. My part is $3500 and that is a lot for a family that lives on a fixed income. My daughter explained yesterday that this surgery is not just for me. It is for all the family. It will give me more life time here on this earth and I will enjoy it. As she said if I am enjoying life more, the whole family will benefit. They are such wonderful girls. They are so caring and they are always thoughtful to mine and their Dad's feeling. We are so very blessed with them in our lives. I guess they ARE part of the reason that I need this surgery. I just have to live a long life to see what they do with theirs. They are such smart and intuitive people.
I am still waiting for a date. Of course, July 22 I will got meet Dr Webb's staff and start all that. I hope it all goes well. I really want this to happen.


July 25, 2004
Well, I am back from Jax. Met my new PCP and I really liked him. He was right to the point and nice sense of humor. He started right in and got the EKG and blood work that they need before surgery. Met Susan and Megan and Leslie at Dr. Webb's office. I really liked them. They were both informative and nice to talk to . My husband was with me and he asked questions and we both got a lot of info. I have been waiting for this all my life. If I had any doubts about this surgery, they made them go away. It just seems like the answer to my problem.s I am so tired of not feeling well. I am always tired and always hobbling around thehouse like some old woman I don't recognize. Surely I will feel better when this is over. I worried, I would live through the surgery but now I know I won't live if I don't have the surgery. This is actually going to save my life. Now I can go into this surgery knowing I am fighting this disease called obesity. Yes, the Medicare has deemed obesity as a disease. I know this will help others get this approved in the long run. That makes me happy too. The life as a fat person has never been easy. Things are changing.


8/3/04
I wrote a letter saying good by to food. May sound silly but it made me feel better.8/3/04



Dear Food

I want you to know that you have kept me captive long enough. You will no longer hold my days. I will not longer be a party to your destruction of my body. For 50 years you have controlled my life.

Each day, each event in my life has been controlled by what I have eaten. Even memories of good times and special events have been remembered with what we ate. There will be no more of that. I will eat to live, not live to eat and you cannot make me change my mind about this. No matter what you do or how long it takes to recover I have found a cure for your obsession on me. I am having my stomach altered so you cannot get in there. You will not have the password and I will not give it to you.

You will no longer be able to sneak in there when I am nervous or anxious. You will not be able to crawl in there while I am pre-occupied with TV, family or crisis. You have been found out and with all the technology of this world they have found out how to handle you. You will be demoted to just a small part of my life. I will take nutrition in pills and protein shakes. You will not be able to convince me that no one loves me but you. You have tried to kill me. You have taken over my life like any other drug that can overwhelm someone. You have had me mesmerized for so long that I almost gave up the things that really mean something to me. My husband, my children, my family, even myself. You tried to rob me and I am now bringing you to justice. You will now be put in your place. You are a small part of my life. You help keep my body running well, not controlling me. I will take my life back.

I will lose the weight brought on by you. I will be active and enjoy this wonderful world. I will return to things I love. I will walk the beaches, and watch the sunsets over the water. I will be a loving and kind wife to my wonderful husband. My daughters will have a good example and a mother that can be active with them. I will never let you control me again. I am going to live without you taking over.

Good-by Food, You will only see me in small doses. You will not be in control and if you are in my favor, I will allow you in my body. The rest of you Foods, in great quantity and bad for me, CAN GET LOST.

I am
Sincerely,



8/8/04
Well, I was supposed to see Dr Webb for the first time this week but it didn't happen. The doc's office called the day before the appointment and told me that I had missed my appointment with the psych THAT DAY. It seems some kind of miscommunication and I wasnt informed of MY appointment. Sooooooooo....now it will be the 23rd of August before she can see me. Since I live so far away (5 hours) I opted for changing my PCP and surgeon appointment to the 23rd also. I hated to do that cause now I have to go 17 days without progressing but it will be better. Now I will hve all three appointments done on the same day. Hopefully that will speed the rest along and they can give me a surgery date. I am so ready. I read all the profiles and watch others go off to surgery and I am envious. Of course the more success stories I hear the better I feel. I am just so tired of not feeling well. Not sleeping well and not getting around well. It is a struggle to stand on my feet some days. Poor things. They lug around all this weight and then I am upset with THEM when they hurt or just swell up. Things will be better.


8/29/2004
Okay, it has been a while so I will try to get things updated. I went to see Dr. Webb in Jax. I like him and so did my husband. He seems very knowledable and he put some of my anxieties to rest. He just seemed so confident that he could do the surgery for me with great success, that I believed him. I got the physc appointment over and also saw my PCP. Dr Young is a great PCP. He is very easy to talk to with a great sense of humor. He says every thing looks good so he will sign my release for surgery. Yea!!! Looks like it is going to happen. Insurance company has even sent papers for preauthorization for the surgery to my doctor. Now I have to set one more appointment with the surgeon and he will give me a date and we will be ready for a new life. I am so nervous, excited, scared,and delirious all at the same time. I don't have butterflies in my stomach,..............I have helicopters. I still am feeling very confident that I have made the right decision but I do have panic once in a while that something could happen and I would die. I so want to be here to watch my daughters grow up and watch all my children become the best they can be. I want happiness for them so much. I want to live with Mac for a very long time. I want to grow older with him. I guess I just know without the surgery, I am a sitting time bomb waiting for that day that my body just overwhelms my heart. I think now is the safest time and the best time for me to have the surgery.


September 21,2004
Well, I have a date. October 12,2004. Columbus Day. I guess I will discover something that date also. It was the birthday of my now deceased father-in-law. Maybe that is a good omen for me. Anyway, I am both excited and nervous. I have now told my parents and my sister and brother about my surgery. I was surprise but, everyone was very supportive. I am so use to people saying "oh Carol" when I explain some out of the ordinary thing I am doing, I just assumed they would feel the same way about this. No, they just want me to be healthy and they all said they had worried about me. Everything seems to point to me having the surgery on October 12th. As I think of it now I guess I am calmer than before. I mean, people have surgery all the time. This is really nothing different for surgeons. Of course the out come is going to change my life drastically. My husband and I talked about it last night. I don't know how it will change my life but I will try to make it all positive.
September 29,2004...............Well, we are getting down to the nitty gritty. I am less than two weeks from surgery and to say I am nervous is definately an understatement. I am not resting at night much. Seems I go to sleep but dream so much I feel like I have been awake. I still am very anxious to do this surgery but I am always nervous before something happening. I think I am pretty well prepared. I have told all the family that needs to know and I am on the diet they want me on. Low Carbs and high protein. Not bad diet but it is a little boring. Seems I don't have much variety unless I eat different. Maybe it would be better if i actually felt like cooking and trying new recipes. Just don't have the energy.
The board here in Florida is really great. I try to participate so they know me and I get as much benefit out of it as possible. Some people are so nice and supportive. They really seem to care. I guess they understand what i am going through. They have been there themselves. They even give the ones going to surgery an angel to check on them while they are in the hospital. Actually, I guess some don't have one. Actually, I don't have one. I guess if someone volunteers, it would be nice to know people are hearing all about your progress but I could never ask anyone. They might not want to bother with it. I will just have to remember to get on the internet as soon as I can and let other know I am back home.


October 8...............Well, I leave Sunday to go to Jacksonville with my hubby and my two daughters. I have an appointment with the surgeon on Monday and Tuesday at 7:30 I will have my surgery. I can not believe we are here at this point. It seems such a long journey and now it is going so fast. I haven't even packed the few things I need. We will have to stay over that way at my parents winter home since my home is so far away from my surgeon. My husband has been so supportive about this all. He is, himself, in pain with his back right now but he still just thinks about me and how I am feeling. He will stay in the hospital with me. I can't say how much more that makes me love him especially since I know how he feels about hospitals. I love him so much more every day. I just hope this surgery goes well and we have many more years to live and enjoy each other. My daughters seem so calm through all this and very strong. They have been so wonderful about it all , even helping get all the money together for the trips and and everything. I couldn't ask for better daughters. I love them so much. I just want to be able to enjoy watching them grow up and become what ever they want. They are so loving and eager to take life and run with it. I will probably not up date again until I get home after surgery. I can do this. I am going to be healthier than I have been since I was 9 years old. I can hardly wait.



October19,2004

Well, I made it. I had the surgery and I am feeling great. Yesterday I went to the surgeon and he took out the stitches and told me to get busy living life. I weigh 271# THAT IS 14 POUNDS FROM THE START. Eight of them have been since the surgery a week ago. I am just so happy. I haven't taken a pill for my FORMER diabetes or high blood pressure and everything is checking out great. I am taking vitamins but I have been able to give up the meds. It is like I am in a dreamstate right now. Will update soon again.

November 11, 2004

Well, I guess I am no better at this updating than everyone else. Today is Veterans day and I went for a long walk this morning. It was so nice not to hurt while I was doing it and also to see all the American flags, big and little blowing in the breeze.
I am now 4 weeks out and I am feeling really great. I have not really had any problems much. I have thrown up a couple times. It seems I haven't figured it all out yet. I ate a little piece of fried fish that apparently hated me. It hardly got in my pouch that it didn't come flying back up. Seems fried foods and oils are my enemy now. I have had to watch that because it comes back on me. This has happened on a couple things but all in all I am feeling wonderful. I have lost 23# at this point. I guess I would like it to be more but I am so happy that it is finally headed down.


November 16,2004

257!!!! That's what I weighed yesterday at the medical clinic. I haven't been under 260# in many many years. It is finally happening. I feel pretty good and my energy level is so much better than it has been in years. I have not had much intolerance of foods and can eat pretty much what I want. Yesterday I got sick because I ate a couple of bites of chili too fast. I have to stay slow or it really gets me. Other than that I have been doing well. Getting all my nutrition is a trick since I am never hungry, so I am trying to take all the protein I can get down. The protein drinks have got unpleasant but I keep trying to find a way to get that down. I tried putting the protein powder in my yogurt. It thickened it right up. The texture was a little grainy but I got it down. \
I will update again soon.


December 1,2004

Well, today I am officially down 39# and I am under 250# (246#). Haven't been here since my youngest was born and she turned 17 years old in October this year. I am so very happy about all this. It is hard to realize it is happening. I feel great most the time. Only problem I have had is when I eat too fast or get too much down in my pouch before I realize it. I seem to tolerate most food. Haven't really had any problems like that. I do pretty well getting in the water and I am working hard at the protein. I have found I do better getting protein out of food than the shakes. I eat the protein bars, cereals high in protein, cottage cheese, milks, soy snacks, and everything else that I can come up with. Seems to work better for me. I made a meatloaf the other night and put a couple scoops of protein powder and wheat germ in it. It didn't change the taste and everyone ate it. I knew I was getting extra protein and it didn't hurt anyone else.
By for now.

December 6,2004
Well, I went to Dr. Webb's office and had my checkup. He seemed very pleased with my progress. I am too. I am down 40# and 31 inches. He seemed more impressed with the inches and so am I . That is a lot of inches. My clothing is getting bigger on me and I am waiting for the next change to smaller sizes. I am eating prett much what I want. I still have problems with meat. I am not sure if it is actually that I can't tolerate it very well or if I just get nervous when I eat it. When I eat chicken it seems to swell in my mouth the more I chew it. Sometimes I just get so nervous, I would rather not try the meats but I know I have to have the protein. I tolerate ground beef pretty well and fish. Nothing fried can go down that it doesn't come back up. Which is good I guess, since that is bad for me and my pouch. Dr. Webb said I could go to pills now and not have to chew up vitamins. Also said I am no longer a diabetic or have high blood pressure. Now I have to take bloodwork to make sure my vitals are all up to par. I feel better than I have in many years and hope it continues.
Will update soon.

January 10,2005

Well, soon is not really a month especially when it passed into another year. Now it is 2005 and I think this is going to be a great year for me. I am feeling good and my energy level is pretty good. It was great until a few days ago and now I am a little tired. Going to make sure i get my protein and water upped a little for a while. I had lost 50# by Christmas day but then I was stuck there until today. I have now lost 51#. I am not complaining though because I have never lost 50# on a diet and know it was staying off. This is a different kind of loss anyway. I have lost in my face and in parts of my body, I have never lost. I have a neck and ribs and can cross my legs like a woman and my hip bones are now where you can feel them.
My husband says I look different. I guess I do. I passed an aquaintance in a convenient store the other day and he didn't even recognize me. We aren't really friends but he has known me for 4 years and had always spoke before. It is funny to realize that I am becoming someone I don't know either. I look in the morning and see someone that has a thin face. My clothes hang on me and I can walk for hours and never get tired. These are things I have NEVER done. I feel more confident and assured that I am doing the right things. I love to be around people and have found since the surgery that I enjoy it even more but for different reasons. I find myself not trying to be in the center of attention or being the clown of the group. (you know fat people are funny, right?) I feel people just might take me more serious now.

January 25, 2005

Today I was an Angel for the first time. A lady here close by, was having her surgery. Vickie is now one of the losers. I felt very honored to be an angel and in some small way, get a chance to help someone else make this journey. I can not speak in words what this operation has done for me. I feel like a person I always wanted to be. I am happier, healthier and more energetic. I even find I have more confidence in what I do and think. Doesn't this sound crazy? I know it does to me at times. Why did my weight cause me to be such a person that didn't enjoy life. I realize now that there were many things in my life I did not do or did not even try because of my weight. I do dwell on this to feel sorry for the years I was fat. I think about this because I want to make the best of this new life I have been given. I am who I am now because of where I have been. Maybe it was all a learning experience for me.
I have lost 55# as of today. I am now at 230# and I feel great. I have lost a little over 49 inches from my body. That is FOUR FEET OF ME GONE! I can not hardly realize that. No wonder my clothes just hang on me. I love this new feeling. I walk taller and I feel better. Life is good and each morning I am just waiting to see what new things happen.
Be back soon.


February 1, 2005

Today is a great day for me. I feel pretty good and I am excited over my weight loss. Yesterday I was in the local Walmart with my husband. He was looking around and I decided to try on some pants, just to get an idea what size I can wear. I have now lost 59#. I tried on the size 22, which were too big. I went to a 20............still too BIG. Now I was getting serious. I tried on an 18 and it went on...............IT WAS TOO BIG ALSO. I just knew I couldn't get in a 16 but that is exactly what happened. They were a little snug but they fit. Now granted, these were stretch jean material but HEY. I was so excited. I haven't had a size 16 on this body since I was in high school. What a WOW moment.
The weight is slow sometimes to me but then I have never lost this much on any diet and I never kept off what I did lose. Today I got up early and was busy until about 11AM. That meant I didn't eat breakfast and I paid for it later. When I did eat, it made me sick. This has happened to me before. I wait too long to eat and then when I do, it makes me feel bad. I seem to do better if I eat every 2-3 hours. More time than that and I don't feel well and usually end up being sick. I have to remember to take this in stride. I really don't miss food very much at all. In fact I would really just as soon not eat most the time. I want a bite of something once in a while but mostly I eat because I am suppose to. I actually like it this way. I have no problem watching other people eat or enjoy things. It is just not something I need or want any more. I am careful to get all my vitamins and protein and water every day. Of course there are exceptions but very rare. I know that the nutrition is important if this is going to work in the long run.
I still have more energy than I have ever had and I still enjoy each day. I find I am more passive and agreeable now that I am feeling better. I am sure my family feels the benefits from that.
March 3,2005
As of today I weigh 219. It is hard to remember when I weighed that. I am now down 66#. It is the most I have ever lost on any diet I tried. It is a wonderful feeling to have the energy and such that I do. This last week, I lost my sister-in-law to obesity. She had been obese since I met her 20 years ago. She had spent the last couple years in a wheelchair, just too big and too sick to be able to walk. She was older and would never get a chance at wls. I will miss her. I went to her funeral and realized that I could have been next without this surgery. I was so close behind her in weight and my health had started failing in so many ways. I sat at the gravesite service overwhelmed with the fact that she never had the chance to come back from the obesity. I am so very thankful that I get this chance. I will think of her often and if I ever get discouraged, I will remember the struggle she lived, just to exist those last years. I have much to live for.

March 21, 2005

Well, it has been a terrible week as far as family. We lost a very special young lady to cancer. She was our Goddaughter. We spent a week there at her side with her parents. It was hard.
I was not as good with my diet during all this stressful time but I did keep myself feeling pretty good. I actually relied on protein drinks a lot since I really didn't feel like eating much. When I got home , I had lost 3 more pounds putting me at a grand total of 69# so far. I now weigh 216#. It is hard to imagine that I must look a lot different to people. A lady that works in a local convenient store saw me for the first time in months and commented on my weight loss. She didn't know about the surgery and just whispered "Wow, you sure have lost a lot of weight". It was nice to hear it since she didn't have to make the statement. I do wish I could see it a little better but some days I look in the mirror and realize I look different. I am still wearing baggy pants. It just doesn't seem like I should buy new clothes. I find myself putting on the same old things I wore 69# ago. I am not sure why. I have bought some smaller things and I had some in the back of my closet. I kinda feel like wearing the big clothes will show how much smaller I am. I guess others could see how small I am getting but I am not sure. Seems my eyes just don't want to see the new me. Eating is doing much better. I can actually eat what looks like a small meal at times. I fix a plate at night for me with the meat and veggies and I eat enough to feel good about it. I still don't like drinking water too much and I seem to get a hard lump in my pouch when I do. I do much better with Propel, Crystal Lite, flavored waters, tea, etc so I get my fluid that way. I think it must be okay like that. I seem to always have a drink in my hand most the day so that I can get in enough.
Life is good. I am thankful I am getting healthier.


May 18,2005
I am bad at this updating but I sometimes think it is because I have spent my life taking care of someone elses needs until I don't even feel I have time to take care of this. Updating this is important for me so I can see where I have been.

Weight is still about the same. I am staying around 212 which is -73#. It seems this is where I will be for a while. The good thing is it seems to be giving my skin time to "shrink" up to my body. My hubby says my skin seems to firming up. Certainly hope so. I am not sure I could do the whole plastic surgery thing. I just don't want to go back to the hospital. I did so well through the wls, I just don't want to push my luck. Guess I am just a chicken about all this. Have been a little down through this month, but I am not sure it is because of the surgery changes. Some of course, is. I think that things should be so different but really life is the same after surgery in many ways. My family is different at times but mostly the same. They seem to view me different. Everyone is very supportive and I am really thankful for that. They still watch me to make sure I eat and drink enough. My hubby will walk with me even when he is not feeling good himself. He likes the idea of the "new wife" thing too. Somedays he just want to hug me all day. It is nice to be able to hug close up instead of my belly in the way. He has always been affectionate and now he tells me how proud of me he is. It is the same with my daughters. Sometimes they will kid me about getting "skinny". I have never been that so I am not sure what it will be like. I feel great most the time. I do have days where I am tired but then I am STILL 51 no matter what I weigh. I can tell somedays that this poor body has been beat up by all the weight for all those years. I try to be good to it now and hope it will get healthier as more weight comes off.


July 10,2005
We have just been passed by Hurricane Dennis. We were so lucky. I just am sorry for the ones that were affected. We stayed in our home and took in some of the girls' friends that had to evacuate. Definately not a quiet weekend but still very nice.

I have stayed at the same weight now for several months. I sometimes think I must be failing at this but then I realize that I am living a little different than I probably should. I am trying to remember that I am important and with a house full of family, I still don't put me first. Bad habits are hard to break. I love my family so much but I need to concentrate on my needs. My last blood work showed I am not doing as well as I should. My body seems to be trying to stay in starvation mode. My hubby wants me to eat more and I do try but sometimes it isn't possible to make my brain feel okay about it. I am 51 and trained myself all my life to watch what I ate and when I "ate badly", I felt guilty. NOw just trying to eat the calories and protein and drink the liquids seem to consume my day. I need to get back to exercise and routine of life. I know I may sound like I am down about it all but actually I am having the time of my life. If I never lose another pound, I will be better than I was. I won't be as happy with myself but I am sure I can put this back on track. It is so overwhelming to be able to walk into a store and try on clothes in the "normal" womens area. I do have a great problem figuring out what style I want to wear. It is still so hard for me not to head for the stretch pants and t-shirts. I really would like to change that image.
My health is over all pretty good. I have some "menapause" issues because of some fibroid tumors that were there before the surgery. HOpe the weight loss has some positive effect on them.

I bought a pair of pants the other day that were 12/14. They were capris with a tie waist. They are actually loose on me and they are stretch at all. I would love to wear sleeveless shirits but the "bat wings" are pretty bad. I have worn sleeveless a couple times but just around the house.

I can eat about anything I want as long as I only eat a small amount. The only thing I really seem to have to watch is pastas and rice. They just balloon up in my stomach and then I can't eat another bite. I stick to the basics and really food has become just a way to keep healthy. Sometimes I notice some nervous eating. When I do see that, I ususally go fix me a protein chocolate milk that chases the munching away.

I will work on the weight thing again. Until then, I am at 208# down from 285#. Not bad for a girl that was fat all her life.


July 18,2005
Today I thought I would actually try to update. Well, truth be known, my hubby suggested I write in this profile today. AND then I should read it. I am down in the dumps and have been for several days. Seems things are fine around me according to everyone here but I just feel so let down. I am sure it has to do with the fact that I am menopausal and 9 months post op. What a combination. I have lost 78# to date and have been at this weight for a couple months. Just seems I have stopped. Of course, I am not really doing all I could, I guess, to rock the weight. I am now at a spot that I have to make myself eat or drink or even get up and walk around. I had so much energy in the beginning and really haven't had any problems or complications. I guess this depression is a complication but I just can't feel serious about it. I know down deep that I probably should be feeling good but who knows why we get down. I think I expected too much to change when I lost the weight to this point. I mean I look so different to others but I don't really see much. I know the clothes are smaller and the logic of it all is true but somehow it is almost like I am just fooling myself again like with so many other diets I tried. I can eat anything. True, I can only eat a little of everything but it worries me sometimes that I am going to just wake up someday and be fat again. Of course, the logical side remembers reading these exact feelings from other members so why do I worry?

I need to go see my doctor and go over my bloodwork with him. I hope he doesn't tell me I am doing this wrong. I just want to do this right. Surely I can't mess this up.
Gotta go.

March 24,2006

Well, I am going to just try to hit the high points and get this profile up to date. I am so sorry that I haven't kept up with this. I think it was very important for me AND for others to read how this goes. I call myself a writer and boy!!! I sure didn't do this.
First off, I have been to Dr Webb twice since I last wrote. Seems like I am doing great as far as my vitals etc. I have stayed healthy and I feel great great great!!!!! I can honestly say I have NEVER felt like this in my whole life. I will be 53 on the first day of April and I am so very thankful to be here. I really believe I was headed to some hard times if I had not lost the weight. I now weigh around 212. I have actually gained a few pounds back. I don't worry too much about it but I think I need to get back on my regiment a little better. It has been hard, though. Never did I dream my life would change so much. I enjoy life and enjoy being around people again. My family is overwhelmed with the difference. My hubby is always smiling and telling me how great I look and the kids now call me skinny and we even go round and round about me stealing their clothes (Which I can)
It hasn't always been easy, though. Physically, I have done great but there has been an emotional difference that has been something I had to get used to. I have always been an out going person and getting attention never seemed to bother me. I think I hid behind the fat. I was able to joke and be in the middle of lots of things with out worrying about the what people thought. I thought I knew what everyone thought. After all, aren't all fat people jolly?????? As the weight came off, I started noticing people treating me different. Anyone that has been here knows what I am talking about. I have found that I am not only more appealing to men but women seem to want to be around me more. I have changed a lot of things in my life and there are people around me that didn't know me when I was fat. I also can pass people that knew me when I was fat that don't recognize me now. It is a very strange thing. Since I had never been small, this has taken some getting use to. So many people have such a set thought about fat people that when it changes, they don't know how to react. I had friends and family that nagged me to lose weight only to seem to become jealous when I did. I have people talking to me that didn't give me the time of day when I was in stretch pants.
Of course, I treat me different now also. I have more confidence than ever and I have done things I would have never done if I hadn't lost the weight.
I went to school for my real estate license and took the state of Florida's sales associate exam two weeks ago and passed. NOW I am a real estate agent. I would never have believed I would do such a thing. I am enjoying the difference in life and I think I can actually do this. I enjoy getting up each morning and dressing up for my day. Being a real estate agent means I have to have my pics taken and for me that was very tramatic. When they came back..................I thought............not bad.
I think one of the reasons I quit reading and writing on this board was I was just overwhelmed with what was happening. My life is so different than the first 50 years. I guess I have some adventures left after all. I really thought my life was to the slow down stage and being a fat old woman was my future. Now my hubby and I enjoy life together and I have got off the chair and joined in.
My doctor wants me to go see a PS soon. I am really scared of that thought and didn't even think I would consider it. BUT the doctor says they could get rid of this belly hanging here and that would cut off some pounds that will never go away. After 4 babies and all this weight gone.....................who knows maybe I will ask some others how they think about PS.

About Me
Panama City, FL
Location
44.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
10/12/2004
Surgery Date
Jun 24, 2004
Member Since
Latest Blog 2
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