SandraO

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On January 4th I stepped on the scale and was overcome to see that I had lost 100 pounds!  I cannot believe that I made this goal in only 8 months.  As of today, I have lost 103.5 pounds.  I am 5'5" and I would like to lose about 10 - 15 more pounds, but honestly if I don't lose another pound I will be happy.  In just 2 more pounds I will have a "normal" BMI.  I never thought that I would ever be in a normal range of anything to do with weight.  It is amazing!  I am in the best shape of my adult life.  I feel wonderful and have had no complications at all.  I would do this again and again with no hesitation.  I do still struggle with the rules from time to time and I am terrified of gaining weight back, but for right now I know that this was the best thing that I have ever done for myself and my family.  I have WOW moments daily.  People tell me that I look great all the time and frequently don't recognize me without my children.  I fit in now.  Restaraunt booths, rollercoasters, regular sized clothing (from a size 24/26 to a 10) etc.  I cross my legs and sit like a lady now.  I feel like a girl for the first time in a long time.  I walk into any situation and am comfortable.  I no longer have to compensate for my size and that is a huge relief for me.  I am an active participant in my own life now.  I no longer am sitting on the sidelines watching my life go by.  I am much more physically active with my children.  I play basketball and soccer with my boys.  I run up and down the stairs constantly and don't get out of breath.  It has been hard sometimes and I do struggle with some of the emotional issues that come with such a drastic physical change.  It has been a major identity crisis, but I am working through it and it is all good.  I would like to have some plastic surgery down the road, but I am learning to love my body just like it is.  Life is good, God is good and I am feeling so blessed!

I would get so frustrated when I was researching WLS and people would not update their blogs for weeks.  I was so anxious to hear how they are doing.   Well, I am one of those guilty people now.  I am so busy living my life that I rarely have time to sit down in front of the computer any more.  Especially since school has started back.  I can hardly belive that I have lost 71 pounds in less than 5 months.  Everything is surreal at this point.  I am experiencing what I have heard so many other people talk about.  My head has not caught up with my body yet.  I am getting tons of positive feed back from everyone.   People are not recognizing me.   I walk by mirrors and I don't recognize myself.  Even my new clothes that I had to go out and buy seem really small to me, but I put them on and they zip up easily.  I can't believe that I only weigh 183 pounds.  I only have 28 more pounds to lose to make it to my doctor's goal for me.  I would like to lose about 15 to 10 more than that, but if I never lose another pound it would have all been worth it.  Walking into the regular clothing section and putting on outfit after outfit and it all fitting is like no other feeling in the world.  Today I tried on a size 14 pair of pants and they zipped!  A little snug, but give me a month or so and they will be just right.  I find it hard to believe that I will continue to lose even more weight .  I feel fantastic!  Other than thinning hair (thank God my hair was so thick to start  with), no side effects yet.  I am sure that there will be something that I will have to deal with down the line, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  I am a little worried about having my 6 month labs done.  I am sure that I will have some bone loss.  Maybe not, but most likely I will have some.  I am good about taking all of my suppliments, but my mother had early stages of osteoperosis (sp?) fairly young so genetics is not on my side.  All that said, I am the happiest I have been since I can remember.  Life is so great and I am really living it now.  I know that this high will not last forever so I am enjoying it while I can. 

Woooohoooo!  I made it to the one hundreds!  I weighed myself at the gym this Saturday and I had to move the weight over to the 150 slot.  I was so excited I just stood there and stared at the numbers.  I made it to 199!  Today I am at the lowest weight that I have been at in 15 years.  This was my first big goal and I made it.  I am into uncharted territory now.  I decided to lower my goal weight by 15 pounds.  Dr. C put my goal weight at 155, but I would like to get down to 140.  I hope that I can do it, but even if I stop at 155 I will be thrilled.  I am starting to worry about keeping it off, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.  Things are going great and I am so happy that I did this.  I do miss food and I have moments when I wish that I could just take a day off from GBS, but that is the beauty of this.  I can't.  I have to stick it out.  I don't have a choice.  I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago if I had to do this on my own.  I know that it will not always be this easy, but I am so loving it right now. 

I had two big "WOW" moments in the past few days.  The first one that almost brought me to tears is when my 8 year old son gave me a hug and was able to put his arms all the way around me.  It was one of the things that I was looking forward to the most.  I pointed out to him that he was able to get his arms all the way around me and he said "Hey mom, I can touch not just my hands, I can reach even further because I am holding onto my wrist.  I am really getting bigger huh mom?"  I agreed that he was getting bigger, but I know that the real reason is because I have lost 7 inches off my waist.  I was so happy.  The next "WOW" moment was a few days later.  I was coming down the stairs and my husband met me at the bottom and PICKED ME UP!!!!!   I was so scared that he would drop me and be left with a permanent back injury, but he didn't hurt himself at all.  He did it again to prove it to me.  Granted my husband is a big, strong man, but I know that he would never have been able to do that 50 pounds ago.  Talk about a thrill.  I am starting to feel like a girl again.  I have felt like a big, fat blob for so long that it is nice to feel girly again.  What a great week! 

It has been  a few weeks since I have posted.  I have so much more energy that I have been staying really busy.  I got on the scale this morning and it said 206!!!!!  I am just one pound away from having lost 50 pounds.  That is half way to my goal.  I can hardly believe it.   I am almost totally out of clothes.  I was able to squeeze myself into a women's size 16 pair of capris the other day.  I almost fell over.   Just out of curiosity I went and tried on a regular size 18 jeans from the ladies department.   They were too small, but I think that I will be able to get into them in another 10-15 pounds.  I was able to fit into a 18 skirt though.  I am so close to being able to shop in the regular stores.  I can't wait.  There are so many more choices and the clothes are so much cheaper.   The biggest development so far has been my exercising.  Let me just say that I have always HATED to exercise before, but I have faithfully been working out with a trainer for the last month.  I LOVE IT!!  I never in a milliion years thought that I would like to work out and especially not at a high intensity for up to 2 hours at a time.  I think that it has really helped the weight come off this past month.  I am seeing dramatic differences now.   I still have days where I still can't believe that I have actually had this surgery.  There are times when I worry about the long term effects on my bones etc. , but for now I am as happy as a lark and can't wait to see what comes next. 

I can't believe it, but I lost 4 pounds this week!  Last week I only lost 2 and I thought OK, here comes the big slow down and my days of 4-6 pounds a week are over, but amazingly enough God has given me another 4 pound week.  I weighed in at 219 this morning.  I am so close to Onederland that I can "taste" it!  I am wearing a size 18 pair of jean capris today.  Granted they are a women's size 18 and they have stretch fabric, but I don't care, they are a size 18!  I think that I lost more this week because I have really stepped up the exercise.  DUH!  I kicked up the cardio and even went to the exercise class last Saturday morning.  I can't belive that I actually got up on purpose at 7AM to go exercise on a Saturday.  I was the only recent post op there.  Everyone else had been going to this class for like a year.  She kicked our butts.  We worked out hard for over an hour and a half.  The best part is that even though I exercised harder and longer than I ever have in my life I not only kept up, but dare I say I enjoyed it a little bit.  I am even planning on going back.  Crazy huh?  I came home and had lost a pound and a half.  That is a pretty big motivator to go back.  I am sure that the loss was all in sweat, but even after drinking tons of water, I didn't regain it the next day.  I was really sore though.  I am in a magical time right now.  I am still loving it.  No regrets yet.  I can't wait  to see what comes next.  I still feel really fat and I don't know if there will ever come a day when I don't feel fat, but I do know that moving around is so much easier without the extra 36 pounds dragging me down. 

Well, it has been a while since I posted, but there really wasn't much to tell.  I have steadily been losing weight.  It has slowed down a lot, but thank God it is still coming off.   I can't believe that I have lost 32 pounds already.  I only have to lose about 25 more pounds and then I can say that I will be at my lowest weight in about 15 years.  WOOOHOOO!  My clothes are starting to look really big on me.   Yesterday I was wearing a pair of jean capris that use to be really tight on me and I took them off without unbuttoning and unzipping them.  I am going to have to start buying new clothes soon.  I have a gap in my closet because about 3 years ago I got down to 199 pounds and I still have those clothes that I barely got to wear because I started gaining as soon as I got below 200.  I guess I had a mental block or something.  Anyway, those clothes are size 18 and are all for winter and I need summer stuff now.  I am in a size 20 pants and a 2x shirt now. (Down from a 24 and 3X.)   I am hoping that I will be out of the women's department by September or October.  I can't wait to buy clothes because they are cute, not just because they are the only ones that fit.  My sweet husband is commenting on how much smaller I feel in his arms.  Tomorrow is our 16th wedding anniversary.  I am so blessed that I have him in my life and in my corner.  He is my greatest gift.  He has been so amazing through all of this.  I know that I am no fun to eat with anymore.  We eat out a lot and I sit there with my little bit of food.  I can't believe that I am saying this, but eating has become more like a job.  I actually forget to eat!  My friend Melanie said something the other day that really sums up how I feel right now.  She said..."I don't want what I can have and I can't have what I want."  I know that this won't last forever so I am taking this time to make these changes permanent.  I am loving it, but anyone who thinks that this is easy is so mistaken.   I feel like for the first time in my life I might actually have a chance to be a success.  It is like a dream come true.  A dream that involves a lot of work, but a dream none the less. 

I feel like a million bucks!  I can't keep from smiling.  It hasn't even been a month and I and everyone else is starting to see results.  My clothes are getting a lot looser and I feel like I am walking on air.  I never thought that I would feel like I was walking on air weighing 232 pounds, but I do.  I can't even imagine what I will feel like in another 50 pounds.   I saw Dr. C. yesterday and he is very happy with my weight loss.  He said that I was a little ahead of schedule and that I would loose about 10 pounds per month from now on.  I would like to do a little more than that, but I'll take it.  I know that I will get there.  Before, when I would diet I would hope and pray that I could loose just 10 more pounds all the time knowing that I probably wouldn't or if I did I would gain it back in just a few weeks.  I don't have that feeling now.  I know that I will continue to lose.  This is an amazing feeling and I am loving every minute of it.  I can honestly say that at least right now, I don't regret this for a second.  I feel like I am finally walking through the door and into my new life.   Even though I haven't lost a lot of real weight I feel like a huge weight has already been taken off my shoulders.

I am feeling so much better now.  I got pretty sick last week and my doctor told me to stop the protein drinks and to go back to a clear liquid diet.  He also put me on two new medications.  As soon as I stopped my protein drinks I felt so much better.  We think that I may have an intolerance to the whey in the drinks.  I started on the stage two diet and I feel great now.  My energy is back and I am back to my regular routine.  I've lost 19 pounds in the last 17 days and I am so glad that I had this surgery.  It would have taken me at least 2 months to do this without the surgery and I know I would gain it back within a few months after that.  I am so excited with the results so far and I know that I will succeed.  I know that I am not out of the woods as far as complications yet, but everything is looking really bright at this point and I am trying to enjoy every moment.  It is amazing to me that such tiny little portions can fill me up.  I am doing good to get 2-3 tablespoons in.  I look at my 2 year old son eating and am blown away by the fact that I couldn't eat a fraction of what he can.  I know that I will be able to eat more in a few months, but it is so great to be satisfied with so little and the weight just keeps falling off.  I am loving this!

It's been nine days since I had my surgery.  Some things have happened just like I thought they would and some things have been a complete surprise.  I get full easily like I thought I would although I wouldn't call it a "normal" full.  Instead of that bloated feeling that I used to get it, I just feel kind of yucky and lose interest in what I am eating.  The weird thing that has happened is to my sense of taste and smell.  I cannot stand the taste of anything sweet and the smell just about sends me over the edge.  It is like I am having morning sickness or something.  Granted, everything sweet that I can have is sugar free, but I cannot eat any of it.  The only thing that I can stand to eat right now is cream of wheat.  I did not like it before WLS and now I sort of do.  Weird.  I can eat about 2-3 tablespoons for a meal.  The biggest surprise is how fast the weight is coming off.  I've lost 15 pounds in the last nine days!  It is truly like a miracle.  It would have taken me almost a month to lose that much before.  I am thrilled so far with how this is working.  I have not been nauseous once and I am in no pain at all.  I stopped taking even Tylenol after the 5th day.  There have been a couple of down sides though.  I am starting to notice some fatigue.  I think that is my fault though.  I have been going about my normal routine (laundry, cooking, cleaning, running around, field day at school) with 3 boys and I think I need to remind myself that  I am still recovering from major surgery.  The other down side is that everthing I eat goes straight through me.  Sorry if this is too much info, but this is what is happening.  The doctor put me on Flagyl just in case, but they think that it could also be from the contrast dye that I drank in the hospital.  I also had what I think is my first dumping episode last night.  I had about 2 tablespoons of mashed potatoes for my dinner and within a few minutes my heart started beating really fast (about 96 beats per minute) and I started to get kind of panicky, but I wasn't having a panic attack.  It was kind of freaking me out and then I realized that I might be dumping.  I just tried to relax and after 20-30 minutes it went away.  If that is what dumping is like for me, then it isn't as bad as it is for some people.  No upset stomach, cramps etc.  I will try mashed potatoes again if a few days or weeks and see if that is really what it was.  Anyway, things are going good.  I am taking it day by day.  I am looking forward to eating real food again.  1 more week!  I don't crave anything and am not hungry, but I am hoping that when I can have a little more variety than just pureed food I'll be able to eat a little more and get some energy back.  300-400 calories a day doesn't go very far.