sallard
Previous Jounal entries
Oct 28, 2006
Oct 21 '06 I'm sitting here at home taking it easy today , it was such a long week this week. I have my dietician appointment on Wednesday and hoping I lost a pound or two atleast. I have been good and doing pretty much what I was told to do, I have been eating out a bit, but not eating alot when I do. I've been feeling sick again and that makes me not feel like doing anything and it's so frustrating. I want to have my surgery and get this over with so maybe I can start feeling better and have a little more energy and will get out of the house and move. I understand that the surgery isn't going to make me better over night and that I have to work very hard at getting better but the surgery is a tool to help me get where I need to be. If this surgery does nothing else but take away my Glocose intolerance and take a little pressure off my back and legs, it will be well worth it. It would be nice to not feel so depressed too. You see I have fibromyalgia as well as being obese, and a few other medical things and the fms can really kick you in the butt at times. When I get the episodes (this is what I call it) I pretty much just don't do anything and rest and they are starting to get more frequent again. Today my hands hurt sooo bad but here I am pushing it to type. I guess I need to complain a little. Unless you live with chronic pain and fatigue on a daily basis it's hard to understand I guess. Some doctors say it's in your head but if it were just in a persons head how come it hurts so much. I find this to be rediculous, who in there right mind would want to make up pain or feel like crap on a daily basis.
Well on a brighter side I say a new PCP this week to get associated with and get things ready for my surgery. He almost seemed excited that was going thru the motions of the surgery. I'm very borderline for the surgery with a BMI of 37.8, so I was a bit surprised. So his support will be awesome that is for sure. He took exrays of the knees and told me I needed to come in for my fasting and a hemoglobin to check my sugars for the last three months. Then he referred me to a urologist to take care of my bladder problem. He says there is a possibility this could lead to a outpatient surgery to correct. Wonderful for me if the surgery would work, and no more little accidents huh! Another surgery is kind of scary though. Well I supose I should find something constructive to do. My hubby is gone with his friends for a few hours and I should really do something around the house but I just don't have the energy to do anything.
My Journey for a Better Life
Oct 28, 2006
Today I am home dealing with my back being out and not being able to much cause of the medication I am on for the pain. I want to be able to do things with my kids and enjoy life but it seems like lately I'm in pain all the time. I can't wait to get through this and lose weight to where there isn't so much pressure on my back. I think at this point I don't care about being thinner as much as I do about feeling better. I know it won't take it all away but atleast it will give a little relief.
My boss and friend from work is having her surgery in a couple weeks and I am so excited for her. I wish I could take the day off so I could go up to the hospital with her. I think we are each others support right now. That is one thing I am not getting from my family. Every one is so afraid I'm going to be worse off or going to die. My husband is behind me but my mom and kids don't agree with it at all. They say they want me to feel better but there afraid of me not being here. I try to explain to them that if I don't have the surgery I have just as much chance of not being here. I think I'm going to write my mom a letter and tell her how I really feel to and let her know that is hurts that she can't be more supportive. It isn't just me having the surgery she is like that with most everything. Thank god I have my husband and he will be there for me through all of this. I am also looking forward to our sex life getting better. I know alot of people end up having marriage problems when they have there surgery, but I don't see that for us. I see my husband and I getting even more closer then we are now. He is a very good man.
I have until Dec 21st to see the surgeon for my follow up after all my dietician appointments. My last dietician appointment is the 23 of Nov I believe. I wish I could make this happen faster. Hopefully there will be no problems with the insurance and I will get approval asap, and can have my surgery early Janurary or middle. That will give me a few month till summer to lose some weight so I can get on a bicycle and go with my kids on some major bike rides. I look forward to having a wonderful summer with my kids and spending lots of time with them doing things outside and getting lots of needed exercise and hopefully not getting pooped out to fast. I think I wouldn't mind taking up hiking either. We have some really nice parks around here and I wouldn't mind taking up hiking and getting out there and seeing things. I just love nature.
