Rusty2

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3-18-09:
Well, it's been a long time since I've updated my blog.  In the past year I've had surgery 4 times, all aft3er my mom died in April.  As the oldest, I now have responsibility for my Dad, who's in a nursing home with Alzheimer's.  My 4 younger sibs are calling or emailing me nearly every day with their sorrow.  I really haven't taken time to grieve myself...instead have obviously been stuffing it down...to the tune of a 25 lb weight gain!  I guess I believed I'd conquered my lifelong habit of eating over emotional upsets.  Lord, I do hope I can turn this around and get back to my pretty tiny clothes and feeling so much more healthy.

DECEMBER
12-3-03:I'm 55, married with 2 grown sons, 2 lovely daughters-in-law, and 2 miniature schnauzers. I weigh 260 and am 5'6". I go in for my surgeon's consultation appointment, to sign consent forms and get put on the surgery waiting list on the 15th of this month. I've heard about bypass surgery for years. I thought "Wow! wouldn't that be a great thing for me, since nothing else works?" But the first bypass surgeries were not very safe and I thought I would have to gain a lot more weight to be considered for any bypass surgery. Every doctor, for every health problem from a sore throat to a sore toe, felt the need to lecture me about my weight. So I kept trudging through the web of diets, diet books, gyms,and weight loss groups. After one particularly scary pregnancy with clots thrown to my brain, the dietitian and doctors convinced me to lose enough weight (postpartum) to get into my first pair of size 9 jeans. After 6 months, the fear wore off and I regained the weight. I joined OA in 1977, losing my weight and regaining it twice over the years. OA helped me with the emotional and spiritual aspects of my overeating. Somehow, though, I always managed to sabotage myself, forgetting to "work the Program." I think I was a fat fetus. My baby pictures show me with triple chins and legs so chubby it's a wonder I could ever walk. I have only worn single digit clothing (size 9) three times in my life since I was about 10 years old...and those times only lasted perhaps 6 months each at the most. In the 70's, my physician put me on diet pills (speed) that really were wild...I'd zoom for 2-3 days then fall flat on my face, wherever I happened to be! I've had five total knee replacements so far, due to my weight. My weight has cost me my career. Along with arthritis,I have had several small strokes, major GERD and laryngopharyngeal reflux that are no longer responding to the medications I've been on for years, stress incontinence, I just finished a sleep study for sleep apnea, my family is full of diabetics and hypertensives (I've just been lucky so far), and several other "goodies" that qualify as my comorbidities for the RNY surgery. I look forward to a healthier me. I'm hoping for a surgery date right after New Year's.






12-15-03:
I talked with the medical assistant, Patrick, who finally found all the papers required. They were all there..don't know why he couldn't find them. The PA (can't remember his name...a bit of nervousness there...) was very informative. Then Dr. Bell came in and discussed the surgery with me; its risks, etc. and suggested that my breathing might be better monitored if I stay a night in ICU after surgery. Great idea...that would relieve my hubby and mom somewhat...their main concern has been my reaction to anesthesia. Did not get a surgery date today. They are supposed to call ASAP with one for me. They assured me that as soon as Dr. Bell writes his letter of application, along with copies of all the other letters he now has, my insurance will come through, no problems. What happened to it being accepted by this time? I'm confused... After I got home, the doctor who ordered my sleep study called to let me know that I have "significant" sleep apnea. (Dr. Bell can now add that to his letter.) She told me to "get my butt in" to see my internist for a CPAP machine or whatever other treatment was considered necessary. Dr. Bell already talked with me today about the possibility of ordering CPAP for me in the hospital if I didn't have a machine before I came in. Lovely. Now I can look like that horrible scary movie every night...verrry sexy! Can't wait to see my husband's reaction to this contraption. Oh yay! However, I did sleep like a dream when they hooked me up on the CPAP mask during the sleep study. I'm getting anxious to have this whole thing over and done with. Come on little scheduling lady. Do your thing! Find me a surgery date and let me get my plans moving along. Can't tell I was a military brat, can you? My life is run by the calendar, promptness (i.e. 15 minutes early at all times) and responsible/respectful behavior...and I'm married to a man who thinks getting to the airport as the plane is loading is normal! After almost 33 years he still hasn't slowed me down, nor have I altered his habit of arriving places, screeching in at the last moment. I'm certainly babbling tonight...sure sign of nerves. So I'll sign off for the night with blessings sent to you all: May God breathe on you!



12-16-03:
I read in others' comments here, several negative comments about the radiology department at Swedish in their treatment of RNY patients. Therefore, being a windmill tilter, I promptly wrote my concerns to the public relations department of Swedish, knowing I'm going to be a patient there. I also sent them the site for the comments re: the hospital written by other WLS members. Since then, I've received several letters of apology and reassurance from both the hospital administration and the head of the radiology department. It only takes 6 letters to a newspaper editor to get the paper to review their position in an article...it apparently doesn't take much more than that to get some response from a hospital!

12-16-03:
Unbelievable! The surgeon's office people seem to have either misplaced or cannot see the psychiatrist's letter for me. Therefore, they will not/cannot go forth with my insurance approval or a letter from Dr. Bell or a surgery date for me. I called the psychiatrist's office and begged her to PLEASE fax them another copy of her letter ASAP. This mess is wearing me out! My entire Ho! Ho! Ho! is fading! Dr. Bell seemed to think I should already have had a surgery date set when I saw him yesterday...was that another sign of the inefficiency of his staff or what? I'm about to retract any good things I said about this bunch! I just hope Dr. Bell is as good a surgeon as I've been told he is... I remembered the P.A.'s name; David. He seemed to have it together. We'll see...



12-17-03:
The scheduling person said she'd get back to me yesterday or today...but no call either day. No surgery date yet. Wonder what the hold-up is? I am supposed to begin teaching a new class on January the 20th. IF I can have my surgery the week of the 5th and IF it can be done via laparoscope, all will be well. A few big if's,right? My head is twirling around, not knowing whether to tell the registrar's office to cancel my class or not. My husband doesn't think I'll be ready to teach in two weeks anyway. My internist ordered a CPAP machine for me today for the sleep apnea. We also discussed my routine meds. I told her what the pharmacist said about one of them. It has to be divided up by a special pharmacy and sent to me as two medications rather than the one I'm currently taking. All the rest can either be crushed or taken apart and sprinkled into liquids. My doctor is calling the pharmacy and ordering the special medications to be made up for me so I'll have them in the hospital. We got that taken care of anyway. She also did a bone density test on me so she would have a baseline to go on as I progressed after the surgery. I had never had one done before. The CPAP people didn't call for an appointment like I thought they would. Christmas is next week and I'm not ready for that either. My kids and their wives are causing quite a bit of friction over Christmas plans right now. Oh, woe is me... what a pitiful sad story! :) How silly I sound to myself once I write this all down. Everything will turn out the way it is supposed to. I don't think any of these things are controllable by me...so I'll go sit in my Jacuzzi tub and chill out! Bye 4 now!



12-20-03:
I am not very good at waiting. So what can I do while I wait? I thought that I might be able to do some service somehow, help someone else. Whether or not anyone answers my e-mails, it makes me feel like I'm doing something to send off letters of encouragement to others on the path of WLS. I may be a wind mill tilter, but I eventually know when to put down my lance and try to accomplish something another way. God's timing always baffles me. It is rarely mine. While I wait I'll do the work I find before me...reach out to others to offer any help I can and get my own job done, one day at a time. In the meantime, for all of you with prayers and wishes sent to me...and all of those who read this...May God breathe on you!



12-23-03:
I just went to see the movie "Mona Lisa's Smile." I was born and raised in the very last burst of that lunacy..."go to school and prepare yourself for a career in case something ever happens to your husband." The options for girls were teaching and nursing. I chose nursing...and got married 2 months after I graduated. I remember wearing girdles...long leg affairs with garters for our stockings...torture garments! I will not subject myself to anything of the sort again. What a Godsend panty hose were. I watched that movie with many memories bombarding me..and many thanks that such expectations are no longer as prevalent. That period of time was also the switch from good wholesome food to Miss Francis' Ding Dong school and Twinkies, Hop-a-long Cassidy and white, gummy Wonder bread. I believe this was the point at which the population began its downward spiral into obesity...it certainly was mine!
Here we are, 2 days before Christmas. As the holidays zip past, my surgery date gets closer...hooray! However, holidays bring out the insouciant persons who contribute to feasts of gorging. All that stuff piling up on the kitchen counters....oh my! (And here I am, trying to de-sugar and de-fat my cupboards.) It seems my friends are out to gift me with "just one last holiday season." Is the idea behind all this culinary largesse that I should gain an extra 50 pounds or so before surgery? I don't think that's such a great plan myself. However, they mean well don't they? And I love them, one and all, for their concern re: my future "starvation" (as they see it).
On the more traditional side, my kids are coming over tomorrow evening for presents, our bottomless supply of hot apple cider (sugar and alcohol free) and carols. Then we go to midnight church services. I really do love Christmas time. May you all be blessed with peace and good will this season and throughout the coming year.



12-25-03:
With Christmas Day almost over, I have one more week and I can flip the calendar page over...one more month closer to my surgery date! Yippee!!
All I wanted for Christmas was something I would have thrown at my husband's head a few months ago...an accurate bathroom scale! He got me one that keeps track of my goal weight, up to 40 weigh-ins and graphs my progress! Wow! Scales that almost talk! This should be an adventure. He also got me several DVD's so I could watch movies and relax after surgery. I'm not to watch them until then.
Last night was really nice. My older son and his wife came over for supper then we all went to church together. The music was beautiful. I love the candlelight service every Christmas Eve.
Today we went to a big Christmas dinner at my daughter-in-law's parents' home. After all that practicing in Las Vegas and at home with my small dishes and baby spoon, I don't have much of an appetite anymore. I weighed in at my internist's a few days ago and I've lost 8 pounds! I must be doing okay with my practicing, huh? I never do anything in half measures but jump right in and do them with gusto.
I was telling the co-in-law mother tonight how I came around to deciding on RNY surgery. For 16 months now I have felt like something was stuck in my throat. The ENT doctor decided my large tonsils were the culprit and I had a tonsillectomy last February...at the ripe old age of 54! What a thrill that was. (Not!) Then, she thought I had allergy problems because she scoped my throat and thought my lymph nodes were swollen. Allergy pills didn't work. So she said she'd take me back to surgery and burn the lymph nodes off with laser. But first, she said she thought I should see a specialist in throat gastroenterology. He diagnosed that I have reflux that has come up over my vocal chords and burnt my throat! Phew! Saved from a surgery of laser burning in my throat! No medication seems to cure the reflux or heal my throat. As a singer, this has been extremely upsetting. I still feel that lump in my throat sensation. So, off I was sent to a gastric surgeon. The hope was that fundoplication surgery would help. This entails wrapping the top third of one's stomach around the esophagus and constricting it so acid cannot flow upward. This will work, for a while. However, on a fat person like me the probability is that my abdomen would eventually cause the acid to flood upward and defeat the success of the surgery. To my surprise, the surgeon approached me with a second option...a gastric bypass. As I have 14 comorbities that my internist can list, the fact that my BMI is not 40 didn't matter. The surgeon told me to think about that option and make my choice. I went home, talked it over with my husband, and decided that I would have a better chance at living longer with the gastric bypass than without it. Hence, the ball began to roll in the process of getting me scheduled for an RNY. And here I am, waiting for the weeks to go by until Feb. 12th and the sluggish system of my insurance company to approve my request for surgery. You have all been so supportive and marvelous in your prayers and e-mails. May God breathe on you!



12-27-03:
In the WLS support meeting, several people were talking about their family and how they reacted to their weight loss and their family history of problems with obesity. I have three younger sisters. One is fairly normal in size; she may be about 30 pounds over her ideal weight but she's had nine pregnancies so I figure she's doing really well since many women gain about 20 pounds after each pregnancy. Another sister is thinner than her ideal weight. She told me, in brutal adolescent honesty many years ago, that she never wanted to look like me...and she saw to it that she never has. The youngest of my sisters dwarfs me, being taller and heavier. We have at times been shopping buddies at Lane Bryant, passing outfits over the walls of the cubicles for each other to try on. We were also partners in finding the most fattening snacks at the malls. I wonder what her reaction will be to my changed lifestyle. Will she also want to have WLS or will she resent me for "deserting" her? I am very close to all three of my "little" sisters and don't want our relationships to change. I keep reading, though, that good friendships, etc. do change sometimes because of lifestyle and appearance alterations. Already I hear changes, as I talk to my sisters on the phone, when we discuss my upcoming surgery. The "normal" sister tells me that it's wonderful, go ahead with all blessings. The slender sister says I have many logical reasons to do this, but couldn't I simply diet instead? And my youngest sister, my shopping and eating pal, bemoans the things I'll no longer be able to eat...giving me an amazing list of foods I really never needed in the first place. My sibs will simply have to get used to it. But their opinions, as my strongest support system, other than my husband, matter to me. I hope all of you weather the changes in your lives without too much disruption in your close relationships. May God breathe on you.



12-30-03
I went to see the throat and voice doctor yesterday. He told me the swelling and burns from the reflux in my throat are worse. (The pharmacy says my insurance refuses to give me any more Nexium...which seems to be helping some with the heartburn if not my throat) The muscles around my vocal chords are bunched up tight as if I were screaming all the time...I'm not. I'm hoarse, if anything. Anyway, he wants to have a chat with the anesthesiologist before my surgery. Am I going to get into the operating room and have them unable to perform the surgery because they cannot slide the endotrach tube down my throat for anesthesia? Will the anesthesiologist nick my vocal chords with the tube? Will the nasogastric tube cut my vocal chords? I suppose I'm borrowing trouble and need to relax and leave all this in the hands of the Lord. Somehow I just can't...not yet. I need to have a little bit of panic time before I can be rational about all this. I hate the thought of never singing again. Anybody out there who can tell me they went through something similar or give me reassurance that all will be well? Send a couple of prayers up for me, will ya? May God breathe on you!


Happy New Year!!!



JANUARY
1-1-04:
I have certainly been a dope, worrying and fretting about so many things I have no control over. I was awake most of the night. Not celebrating, but in agony with acid flowing up to my throat...thanks to my aggitation with multiple people and worries about future things I can't do a thing about! It's amazing that my reflux hasn't eaten a hole clear through me by now! I know I should leave things up to the Lord when I cannot do anything about them. However,there's this crazy need to go out and do battle with brick walls that drives me on. It's no wonder I've had ulcers and reflux problems for 36 years. I can't hurry my insurance company any by getting upset or calling the surgeon's office for information a dozen more times. I can't make the assistants to my doctors any more competent in their jobs. I can, however, pray for them, asking that they develop some compassion for the clients they are to take care of, do the paper work for, and/or order things for. Perhaps that would calm my acid production down and send some angel assistance their way so they'd do a better job. Yeah, that's a better approach...let God handle it! Now, if I can only remember that before I get myself all rattled! You'd think I would have learned how to think before my stomach reacts by my age, but it hasn't ever worked that way. I can keep my mouth shut, but my "fight or flight response" is always ready to go inside and ties my guts in knots! I pray this surgery works and I can escape the misery of this volcanic stomach once and for all. Thanks for all of you out there. I'm so relieved to be able to speak freely to people who understand. May God breathe on you!



1-3-04:
I picked up the humidifier attachment for my CPAP yesterday morning. It was ordered by my throat specialist. I called the internist's office and told them not to bother getting around to ordering one for me. I have added the medical assistants to my prayer list...perhaps they will improve with a little divine help. At least I will see them differently. I woke up this morning with my throat feeling less raw than it had in days! Yippee! Is this going to be the panacea for my throat and anesthetic difficulties? Onward and upward!To all of you out there...May God breathe on you!



1-5-04:
Just another bump in the road? I was on the phone to our insurance company to check about my husband's information. I thought I'd ask about the approval process for my WLS...to see how they're coming along or if it's been approved. They told me they have never even received a predetermination letter from my surgeon's office! I called the surgeon's office...all the important players for getting my surgery set up are not in today! What did they do? Take the entire holiday off and decide since my letter should have gone out on the 17th of December, it could wait until the new year? I am totally confused by the process now. I am going water walking to destress the uproar in my stomach. Outwardly, I am okay...just confused. Anybody know what this nonsense is about? I appreciate any help. God breathe on you...



1-8-04:
The surgery scheduler in Dr. Bell's office called today to tell me she had finally sent the appropriate letters to my insurance company. Strange, it was supposed to have been done a month ago! I am prepared to be understanding about unforeseen events keeping things from being done on time, but a month? After telling me it usually takes 4-6 weeks to be approved, I asked just what the heck we were going to do about my surgery date...4 1/2 weeks away. The answer? Oh, surely we can get it done in time...we'll call and tell them it is "urgent." There would be no "urgency" if it had been done in a timely fashion. I think the whole process is disorganized. This gives me another person to put on my prayer list. Sending up prayers and asking for God's will in all of this is all I can do.
My CPAP mask has taken all the skin off the bridge of my nose. It also leaves me with aching headaches at the base of my skull...where that lower band rubs and pulls. I will call the supply company tomorrow and see what can be done. I found a brand new kind of CPAP nasal attachment. It is called CPAP PRO. I would be thrilled if the supply company carried it, but I suppose I'll have to buy it in order to try it out.
Oops! Here I go, grumbling again! I need an attitude adjustment. I hope everyone else has an easier time. May God breathe on you...


INSURANCE ISSUES CONTINUE...



1-13-04:
Got a different person at the insurance company today. She said my approval might not come through for 45 days! The surgeon's office had everything they needed to fax my request in by Dec. 17th. Panic keeps trying to overwhelm me. I need to go for a walk then come back and sit in the Jacuzzi. I don't generally have high blood pressure, but I'm sure mine is up right now. I hoped to have my surgery last week. That didn't work out...now are they going to mess up my February date? I've lost 9 pounds, practicing eating 1/4 cup of food at dinner. At least that's some good news.



1-15-04:
I got a nasal cannula type attachment for my CPAP yesterday. I slept fine, once I stopped fighting with the tubing! Only 27 more days. I've got one of my schnauzers on my profile page...lovely. They can comfort me during this frustration called "red tape." It is trying on the nerves, so I'll let it go for today anyway. May God breathe on you!



1-20-04:
Well I did a really stupid thing today. I finally blew a fuse...all over the surgeon's medical assistant. I get to a certain point of fury and then ruin my effectiveness by bursting into tears. I have so darned many stressors going on, I finally blitzed:
I called the surgeon's office 4 times in 2 weeks and they never answered my call, all I wanted was to ask them a question about one of my meds because the pharmacy called me and wanted some information;
my CPAP machine is broken and I can't get it fixed until Thursday, 2 days from now;
the insurance company still hasn't cleared me and I have only 3 weeks to go...why am I supposed to have my lab work and stuff done if it's all for nothing because the insurance company is full of sadistic monsters?;
my internist's office is rampant with incompetent fools;
my papers were ready to be sent into the insurance company on Dec. 17th but the scheduler at my surgeon's office decided not to send them in until the 8th of Jan. and the insurance company is asking me why she did it so late!;
I have TMJ and cannot wear my mouthpiece and breathe with the CPAP on so now my jaws and neck are unmercifully painful;
my youngest son and his wife have not talked to us in the 6 months since their wedding for reasons unknown but quite painful for me;
the internist's office personnel have ordered the wrong medication;
my class has been cancelled...it just seems to go on and on! I'm getting more and more hyper the longer this stuff, including the wait for surgery, goes on!
My reflux med is not working anymore...I've got a constant volcano in my belly! Heart irregularities I used to have and thought were long gone have returned...I can feel it fluttering like mad again and that's frightening. I'm just a mess!



1-24-04:
I am finally at peace about all these things that have gone awry! It has been a struggle for me to leave it all in the hands of God, but I have, for today, found peace about it all. The doctors have staff that move at their own pace, my insurance company must delight in torturing me, the pharmacies that are all mixed up will eventually get things straightened out, the CPAP people are trying to get my machine in good running order and find a mask that doesn't cut my nose or have enormous pressure leaks, etc. My husband is being supportive, as are my mom and sisters. My oldest son is curious but not against the surgery. My younger son doesn't know about it...he and his wife don't talk to us so it'll be a surprise for him when he finally sees me, won't it? All is well in my world. All the sweating and fretting hasn't helped anything and won't. So I need to relax and take things as they come. Thank You, Lord, for Your peace...cuz I sure can't get any by my own efforts. Thanks to all of you out there for your support and wonderful prayers. May God breathe on you!



1-26-04:
I am having screaming pain down the back of my legs this morning. I know it is fibromyalgia, but I am simply miserable. I posted on the board to see if anyone else had fibromylagia and if it got any better post-op. Although my arthritis will be better, the fibromylagia probably won't! Darn it...I was hoping, unrealistically, that all my health problems would disappear. 2 1/2 weeks left till my surgery date and still no approval from my insurance. Renee, the surgeon's scheduling person, tells me that one of their patients with the same insurance as mine was approved one day before surgery. Yikes! I certainly hope they get around to mine before that. Well, in God's time... May God breathe on you!



FEBRUARY
2-3-04: (Tuesday evening)
My internist wants me to stop my antiplatelet med and begin injecting myself with an anticoagulant from Thursday until my surgery. A few problems:no approval yet for my surgery which is 8 days away; the medication is very expensive, $1600, even though my copay is "only" $100; not that I mind shooting myself but why should I if I'm not gonna have the surgery? I'm in a real quandry about this. I called the insurance company and explained my dilemma. They sent an urgent e-mail to the folks who process WLS requests, letting them know why I need an approval ASAP. My surgeon's office also called with the same results. They also have a message to "urgently call back" and have my cell phone number. Please, Lord, let them get this approved. If not, my surgery will be postponed until June! I'm obligated to teach until then. I arranged to not have my first class until I'd had 4 1/2 weeks to recover. Oh boy! Well, "whatever," as my sister says. May God breathe on you!



2-10-04:
Two days to go! Am I nervous? Yes. Excited? Yes. Scared? Nope. I'm ready to let the Lord see me thru this. I pray He watches over the surgery crew, helping them to do their best. My husband and minister will be with me before and after surgery. I told my oldest son not to visit until I got out of ICU and into a regular room on Friday. I'm supposed to be in ICU for about 24 hours until the anesthesia wears off. I have no idea whether my daughter-in-law even told my younger son about my surgery...he doesn't seem to care much about anything having to do with us. Hopefully he'll grow up one of these days. Come on, clock..tick faster! For all of you still waiting or those who have come thru this, May God breathe on you!



2-12-04:
In 1 hour I'll be out on the slippery snowy road, headed for the hospital. I've lost down to 244 with the 'practice' eating...16 lbs off before surgery! I'm beginning to be pretty anxious. Let's go. I wish we could just be finished now. I will take my medicine this morning and perhaps that'll help. Away we go! May God breathe on all of those working on me today. Take care of me Lord.



2-17-04:
I never thought this day would come! I can write to everyone that I'm home, safe and sound from my WLS! I had to stay a few extra days because my oxygen level was less than normal.(This was NOT related to the surgery but to a breathing problem I've always had.) But, by yesterday, I got it up to normal...I huffed and puffed and managed a whopping 95%. So I came home late yesterday. How lovely to sleep in my own bed...sorry, but hospital beds leave much to be desired. And what a joy to find things to drink and eat that turn to liquids which do NOT include that darned red Jello and vegetable broth! I got pretty tired of that diet, three times a day, for 5 days. Lyman is bringing the dogs up to visit me tonight. Can't wait to hug my babies. He made me promise 3 restrictions if he was to go off to work this morning: (1)no showers without him in the house, (2)no going outside...the streets are snow packed and slippery, and (3)no going downstairs...which is where my dogs are! So I've been walking around the house, stopping for a sip of water or something every round or so. My dogs can hear me so I've been talking to them thru the stairwell.
Best of all...my oldest son and his wife came to see me Sunday with wonderful news...I'm to be a grandmother for the first time! (I'm certain that made me get well faster.) Hooray! I've been hoping for that day! Can't wait to start knitting and quilting for the baby...what fun!
To all who are still waiting to have WLS, it's definitely not as bad as all your qualms and imagination make it out to be. May God breathe on you!



2-20-04:
I'm up and walking around the house a lot. Walked 1 1/2 miles on my pedometer yesterday. I think I'm drinking my liquids too fast...my tummy gets uncomfortable when I drink. Am on liquids until the 26th...6 more days. Then it's on to a pureed diet! I'll be 7 weeks out before I eat regular food. As slow as I'm learning (the hard way), I hope I haven't hurt my pouch any with this trial and error method. I did experience dumping yesterday morning...after 3 baby spoons full of Cream of Wheat! Anyway, everything is going really well otherwise...I feel pretty good. Just a little bit of abdominal tenderness...no big deal! May God breathe on you!



2-25-04:
Tomorrow is 2 weeks for me. I read all about so many of the people here having tummy tucks and other plastic surgery. I cannot imagine going under the knife one more time! This was my 16th surgery...every time a bit worse with my breathing. The last time they figured out I was allergic to Cephalosporins and Penicillin. This time, I went wild with itching on the first day...and it stopped when they discontinued the antibiotics! I have to find out tomorrow exactly what they were pumping into my IV so I never have it again. I'm gonna run outta antibiotics that work for me! I do hope there are many who will have this surgery at a younger or healthier stage in life and not have some many surgeries due to being obese. May God breathe on you!


I feel great!! 2 1/2 weeks post-op. Walked for 1 1/2 hours in the water yesterday and 45 minutes today! I have a friend to walk with who is having her WLS this next month. It is terrific to have someone to share this with. I had an angel from north of town who was fantastic...still is. Now it's my turn to be an angel to someone close by. I would recommend having your angel near if at all possible.



MARCH
3-1-04:
Addendum to history-
I've had ulcer and reflux problems since I turned 19...call me a GI reactor. I had several comorbities that qualified me for WLS, although I only weighed 244 and am 5'6". When we went to the requisite nutritional seminar..it scared my husband to death! It took me several days to get his agreement and cooperation about the surgery once more. We went to Las Vegas for a week, where I practiced the kind of eating. My husband was really supportive after that.

I'd really like to stop supporting the local pharmacy! May God breathe on you!



3-2-04:
I love to water walk. When the surgeon gave me the "go ahead" to get back in the pool, I was so excited! The first day I walked 45 minutes, the next, 1 hour...yesterday, I really overdid though...1 1/2 hours in the pool, walking! I was up half the night with cramps in my rib cage! Wow! I'll have to learn my exercise limits as well as my food ones. "Trial and error," that's what I keep telling myself. But, boy! am I ever glad I did this. Other than some cramped up ribs, I feel wonderful.



3-6-04:
I have been feeling so great until now. It seems like I'm suddenly overwhelmed with difficulties. They are, however, difficulties that will straighten out eventually. First, I found out I could not tolerate anything with lactose in it...that made finding something I could eat on the pureed diet difficult. Then, I continued to have the feeling of a huge stone landing in my tummy! I was chewing every bite 30 times and waiting between bites 3 minutes, just like I was told to do. What was wrong? Even liquids sometimes felt like boulders in my stomach. I was fine till I ate..then I was really nauseated and in pain that lasted 2-4 hours! Do I have an ulcer? Do I have a stricture that allows food to slide thru very very slowly? Gaviscon tablets seem to help the pain a bit...indicative of an ulcer. I'm going to try to get an appointment Monday, 2 days from now. In the meantime Kelly, the dietitian, suggested I drink liquids only, try Mylanta and see if that helps and see Dr. Bell ASAP. On top of all this, I woke up yesterday with a really sore throat! I've got strep throat for the first time in years! The liquid antibiotic tastes HORRIBLE! However, last week, I tried to swallow a capsule that couldn't be taken apart...the darned thing stuck in my stomach and hurt for hours! I'm not going thru that again, so now all my meds are either broken into tiny tiny pieces or they have been changed to liquid or chewable forms. Can't wait to start the zillion vitamins and minerals this coming Thursday...I'll be a month out and have to give up my cute little Flintstones sugar free vitamins...they don't taste so bad...hope the adult ones don't either. Looking at them, I know I'll have to cut the prenatal vitamin into four pieces to get that down. Well, I look forward to at least my throat not hurting much longer...I usually bounce back in about 24 hours. That would give me time enough to go water walking with my friend this afternoon! I really do feel good (barring a sore throat) as long as I don't eat. I read others' entries about eating shrimp at 3 weeks and cringe. How can they do that? I'm still trying to choke down a mashed scrambled egg! Ah well, another day. Can't do much right now except try to do what I need to today and let the rest of it be taken up by the Lord. To all of you, May God breathe on you!



3-12-04:
It was 4 weeks yesterday! I'm still feeling great, as long as I don't eat or drink anything "heavy." I think if I started back on my IBS medication I'd feel a whole lot better. And that's exactly what I'll do if those people at the surgeon's office don't call me soon! They hurried and got Xrays on Monday to see if I had a stricture. When I didn't, they've been putzing around...it's now Friday and I don't want to go thru another weekend in misery.

I found some of my old profile and thought I'd put my measurements on here:

Consultation weight-244
Surgery Day Weight-235

Date: 1/11/04-- 3/13/04-- 4-10-08--5-22-04--6-7-04--6-26-04
Weight: 244-- 208-- 200-- 184-- 177-- 169
Neck: 15 1/2-- 14 3/4-- 14 1/2-- 14-- 14-- 13 1/2
Up.Arm:15 1/2-- 13 1/2-- 13-- 13-- 13-- 12 3/4
Bust: 54-- 50-- 48-- 46-- 45-- 43 1/2
Ribs: 42-- 42-- 41-- 37 1/2-- 37-- 36
Waist: 49-- 42 1/2-- 40-- 38-- 37-- 35 1/2
Abdomen: 54-- 47 1/2-- 46-- 43-- 41-- 41
Hips: 49-- 46 1/2-- 42 1/2-- 41 1/2--39 1/2-- 39 1/2
Thigh: 27-- 23 1/2-- 23-- 22-- 22-- 20 1/2
Knee: 17 1/2-- 16 1/2-- 16-- 15 1/2--15 1/2-- 15
Calf: 16 3/4-- 16 1/2-- 16-- 15-- 15-- 15
Ankle: 9 1/2-- 9 1/2-- 9-- 9-- 8 3/4-- 8 3/4
Wrist: 6 1/2-- 6 1/2-- 6 1/2-- 6 1/2-- 6 1/4-- 6 1/4
Shoe:7 1/2 -8-- 7 1/2-- 7 1/2-- 7-- 7-- 7
Inches Lost:0-- 27 1/2-- 11 1/2-- 14 1/2-- 6 3/4-- 6 3/4
Total inch. lost 27 1/2-- 39-- 53 1/2--60 1/4-- 67
Total Lbs.Lost:
9-- 27-- 44-- 60-- 67-- 75
Size: 20-22-- 18-20-- 18 16-18-- 16(top) 12
6(pants) 4
Rings:6 1/2-7-- 6-6 1/2-- 6-- 6-- 6

Date 7/27 8/7 8/24 9/28 11/6 11/29 2/5
Neck 13 3/4 13 12 3/4 12 3/4 12 1/2 12 1/2 12
Upper Arm 11 11 11 11 11 11 11
Bust 42 41 1/2 41 40 1/2 40 40 39
Ribs 33 33 33 32 32 32 32
Waist 34 34 34 31 31 30 29
Abdomen 40 40 37 35 3/4 35 32 30
Hip 39 38 37 1/2 37 37 35 35
Thigh 19 1/2 19 1/2 18 3/4 18 1/2 18 1/2 18 18
Knee 15 14 3/4 14 1/2 14 1/4 14 1/4 14 14
Calf 13 3/4 13 3/4 13 3/4 13 3/4 13 3/4 13 1/2
Weight 155 155 155 143 139 139 136
Total Inches Lost
80 1/4 82 86 3/4 93 1/2 95 102 106 1/2
Total Pounds Lost
89 89 89 101 105 105 108 since surgery and 123 since started with surgeon

Also found the list of my previous surgeries:
Right inguinal herniorrhaphy
Tubal ligation
Anterior and posterior repair
Vaginal hysterectomy
Cholecystectomy and "incidental" appendectomy
Right wrist tendon release
Left knee repair
Replacement both knees (bilateral)
Right knee replacement
Right knee replacement
Posterior perineal repair
Left knee replacement
Perineal plasty
Bilateral salpingo-oopherectomy (ovaries removed)
Tonsillectomy
And now this!

May you all have a good day. I plan on having one, pain or no pain! May God breathe on you!



3-17-04:
Managed to get in to see the surgeon Monday, the 15th. At first they told me to eat half of what I was eating 6 times a day (that's 1/8 cup!) because I was probably eating too much. Then, they decided perhaps I could simply go on liquids until they did something else. Dr. Bell suggested an endoscopy. Fine, but his office cannot schedule me until late next week or, perhaps, not until 4/1...2 1/2 weeks away! Now, not only does food hurt but all fluids as well as sometimes without any eating at all...it stops hurting then begins again before I've even had anything to drink or eat! To top it off, Dr. Bell's office person called me and bawled me out because I called to ask if I'd been scheduled yet...2 days wasn't too soon to ask that question, was it? After being positively outraged at the office "treatment," I thought perhaps my terrific internist could help me out. Bless her heart...she's on call at the hospital and finally got a moment to call me tonight, offered to order a CAT scan to see if there's anything going on in there, even though tomorrow,the 18th, when she can call to order it, is her day off. She is terrific. I'm also to come to her office at 8 in the morning on Friday, 3/19. What I have to go thru to get some help! I'm awfully glad I thought of my internist...do hope she can help me out of this mess. I'm very tired of hurting. I wouldn't wish this on anyone...do hope the rest of you are fine. May God breathe on you!



3-20-04:
The CT scan didn't show much..only my IBS acting up. That takes care of the lower abdomen...but what about this automatic pain I get when I eat or drink? I'm going to be scoped by Dr. Bell on Monday. Finally, they are listening to me! I hope he can tell me why I'm having this pain. It is a bummer to be on all liquids except for 1/8 cup of pureed food sometimes. Ugh!!
Hope nobody else has to do this, but I'm sure I'm not unique. May God breathe on you!



3-28-04:
On the 22nd I had an endoscopy. No ulcers found. Now Dr. Bell is thinking I might have gall stones...24 years after having my gallbladder! The pain goes on...it is really wearing me down. I hope they find the cause soon. May God breathe on you!



4-6-04:
Saw Dr. Bell yesterday. The MRI was normal. He said my stomach is fine. He can't find anything wrong. He did say that 5% of WLS patients have this mystery pain for about the first 4 months! Oh hooray! 2 more months of this stuff? I'm also to eat only 1/8 cup of food 6 times/ day. I do feel a bit better today so we shall see. May God breathe on you!



4-7-04:
Tomorrow is 8 weeks post-op. I'm down to 201! (That's a loss of 43 lbs.) I've promised myself something great to wear when I go under 200. Hopefully, that'll be soon. Except for the discomfort in my stomach when I eat, I am feeling wonderful! My legs don't hurt while I'm walking, with the CPAP I've never slept so well in my life and feel fully rested, no stress incontinence, my BP is 102/60 so I'm moving far away from my mom's uncontrollable hypertension...things are looking so much healthier! Even the stomach problem appears to have improved...as long as I only eat 1/8 cup of food in each tiny meal 6 X per day. Today I go see about getting some help from my pastor re: being on the road to becoming a deaconess...a lifetime dream. God is good! May God breathe on you!



4-11-04:(today is Monday)
Thursday's weigh-in: 200 lbs.! Hope I "break the barrier" next week.
I'm feeling much better...not great yet, but better each day! Maybe the pain siege is over...
I can't help but notice how many nurses there are on these posts I read daily. What has Life done to us 'caretakers' that promoted such abuse to our persons while we have given our all to patients, family and friends? Is it because we were taught to care for others more than ourselves? Is it because we were raised by families that expected us to be 'little adults,' taking care of sick sibs, parents or others? Were we never taught to love ourselves or how to say "NO!" when the hospital supervisor asked us to forfeit our days off or work double shifts? I am learning how to be "selfish" and take care of myself first. The thing is, though, that I'm able to give more, to be a better nurse, by caring for myself first. My cup is no longer "half empty" but 5/6 full! Selah! May God breathe on you!



4-12-04:
I am a bundle of emotions going haywire! I am overly sensitive these days. Yesterday, a dear friend stood me up and I ripped into her something awful. I felt so hurt and insignificant! What an over-the-top response to her unreliable behavior. I cannot make enough amends to her for my verbal barrage. Don't know quite what to do. Do all of us have emotional upheavals because of this surgery? I hope not..may you all escape this mood swing thing. May God breathe on you!



4-21-04:
The next day, after making a complete fool of myself by bawling out my friend, we are once more united in friendship...thank goodness. Sometimes I am such an expert at destroying relationships. Gotta stop responding to match my red hair! I would like to think weight loss would help me be less of a social klutz, but I think that behavior change is going to have to come from the inside me not the new outside.
Today is 10 weeks post-op. I've lost 50 pounds! I am working with weight machines 3 times a week and water walking every day for 1 hour. I feel terrific! My feet have springs on them, I walk so lightly. I am now wearing clothing I haven't fit into in 20 years! It doesn't seem like that many years have passed..but sure enough...the doctor's records show I've not been under 200 pounds in 20 years! Lord, thank you for leading me to have WLS, keeping me safe during it and helping me follow the directives for postoperative recovery. I hope everyone else has the same good results. For all of you, May God breathe on you!



5-20-04:
I had my follow-up sleep study last night. Hope I can get rid of the CPAP but it doesn't look promising. I'm 14 weeks out today and 60 pounds down! Hooray! I feel so good. I kept up with my exercises while we were on vacation, but it sure was good to get back to my own gym. My hubby warned me that I was eating too much in the restaurants...and having the resultant abdominal and back pain. So I pulled out my sand timer and carefully waited 3 minutes between small bites...no pain and full feeling way before overeating. One waitress asked if I was timing her! Funny, huh? Hope all is well with everyone else. May God breathe on you!



5-30-04:
Well, I'm really doing it! I've always thought it would be cool to walk in one of those 5K or 10K things, but never had (1) the physical capacity and (2) the nerve to try. I'm to walk in the 10K Bolder Boulder tomorrow! I do hope I tough it out and make it! I really enjoy my new body. It is so much easier to move around these days. Hopefully, anyone who reads this is also having the same experience...or will. May God breathe on you.



6-8-04:
I did it!! I walked the entire 10K (6.2 miles)! I thought I might never walk on my shaking legs again, but it only took 2 days for any aching to disappear. I was on such a euphoric high, now I've nosedived into the blues! I cry so easily and get angry for little reason. I'm totally confused by my behavior. I've been such a happy person since my surgery. I've hit a plateau with my weight. Maybe that's what my problem is...but right now I don't feel like doing anything and have to drag myself outta bed to get moving. I do hope this "down" time doesn't last too long! May God breathe on you!



6-26-04:
Thank goodness my slump in mood only lasted for about one week..if that. I'm a happy girl again. I do have a bit of trouble wanting to snack on things that make me hurt! If I have a few crackers, it is very painful...but I want to eat a few, darn it. I'm still eating very pureed foods and liquids! I went in to see my surgeon and he said it was probably because I have such a small pouch (1/16 cup or 1/2 oz)! So he said it may take me a while to get up to solid foods. In the meantime, I feel GREAT...as long as I don't eat! I'm now 19 weeks post-op and getting a bit bored with eating 1/8-1/4 cup each meal. Ah well, this too shall pass, right? I bought a pair of size 12 slacks yesterday...what joy! As far as my health goes, I haven't had any reflux since surgery, my joints rarely hurt much...except my left knee (and that's not weight related but lack of much kneecap), no stress incontinence, my CPAP is lowered from 9 to 5, no cholesterol meds, farther and farther away from my parents' hypertension and diabetes...my blood tests are perfectly normal. Hooray! God is good! I thank Him for this opportunity to regain my health. I feel like I've lost 30 years, along with 75 pounds! May God breathe on you!



7-8-04:
The beat goes on...as does my inability to eat solids without pain! I'm going in to see the surgeon again today. This time, I'll be armed with my food diary and a chart that indicates all the days I've been constipated and/or had an impaction that had to be removed. I have to show them that I could eat solid foods for a while and did fine. About 9 weeks ago I started having problems eating and defecating. Something is definitely wrong. What can I do? It's only been the last 3 days that I've felt totally lousy. Before that, it was always my answer that I felt GREAT...as long as I didn't eat. Now I'm simply too limp and miserable to give that smart aleck answer. The PA at the surgeon's office wanted me to write down the solid foods that bothered me and simply avoid those and go on to something else! I told them it's every solid food, not a particular one. I never vomit..and they keep asking me if I do..makes me wish I would. Would they pay more attention to me then? I do hope they find out what is wrong, if anything. Well...today is a new day that the Lord has made...may I rejoice "and be glad i it!" May God breathe on you!



7-19-04:
Went to Dr. Richman's office (the gastroenterologist). They seem to think I have an anastamotic ulcer (one right at the outlet of my pouch)! They put me on Nexium twice a day and scheduled me for an endoscopy on the 6th of August. He's so good and so busy I couldn't get on the schedule for another almost 3 weeks! I hope the Nexium helps some. May God breathe on you!



7-27-04:
Today Dr. Richman's office called and changed my date for the scope to next Monday, the 2nd! Hooray! Meanwhile, I'm going to my 35th nursing school reunion on Friday the 30th-Sunday,August 1st. I'm really excited about seeing all my old friends...but a bit nervous about telling them about WLS if they ask me why I'm slimmer now than when we were in school! I am now wearing size 10 slacks and size 14 tops! Smaller than I've been since maybe 12 years old! I'm a happy girl...even if I still cannot eat solid foods without pain.



August 15, 2004:
I had the endoscopy via my gastroenterologist. No ulcer at the anastamosis. That's good. But the Irritable Bowel Syndrome I have fought for years and years is kicking up a storm. I've asked my surgeon numerous times if all this pain couldn't be from IBS...he kept saying no, it couldn't be! Well, my gastroenterologist put me on Zelnorm, a new medication for IBS and told me I'd know within 5 days if it would help me...2 days later I ate a veggie burger! No pain! I'm freed from that horrible round of eat and be miserable for the next 2-4 hours! Hallelujah!! I am not too happy with my surgeon for letting me go thru all that pain and inability to eat for about 25 weeks. However, on my 6 month check-up this past week (the 12th) I am in great shape, at my goal weight still (this is the longest plateau I've been on yet!), now wearing size 8 slacks and jeans and feel WONDERFUL! I went to the dietitian and am to start on a maintenance food plan so I don't lose much more weight...and not as fast as I have lost this last 89 lbs. We agreed on my shooting for no more than 12 more lbs. 144 sounds darned good to me. I am wearing teeny little outfits I never thought I could fit into. In fact, they were too small when I sewed them 29 years ago...but I was hopeful that I'd get down there. Took almost 30 years but I've done it! May God breathe on you!



8-26-04:
Yesterday was a bit of a bummer. I began walking funny and fell down a few times without knowing why, just found myself on the floor! Went in to see my internist who told me I had had a slight stroke! Now I go thru all the tests (MRI, echocardiogram, etc.) I've been thru many times, due to all the TIA's I've had in the past. Oh yippee! I'm back on Coumadin for the first time in 30 years. Ah well, this too shall pass! At least nobody can blame it on my WLS...I've had sludge for blood since forever. May God breathe on you!



9-4-04:
While I was having my electrocardiogram my heart rate went down to 41! My low pulse lasted for 1 whole week! Had to see a cardiologist. He attached a 48 hour monitor on me. Went in Thursday to have it removed. The cardiologist called me Friday evening to tell me he didn't see anything wrong! I do believe a pulse in the 40's is abnormal...particularly when my usual pulse is 72! Now he's going to schedule me for a nuclear stress test. Ugh! The Lord will work things out for the best I'm sure. May God breathe on you all!



9-19-04:
Well, the cardiologist still said my heart pattern was normal after the stress test. I thou