rnin2011
FAT. It has been in my vocabulary since I was 5. All through school, well until 9th grade-Fat. I heard it from other kids at school all the time. Then, in 8th grade I made a decision to lose weight, and I did. I went from 186 down to 135 on my own. I maintained that until after I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, at which point I was back up to 190. It took a few years but I managed to drop down to 130. Then I became OBSESSED with it and ended up with anorexia nervosa. I was down to 100 pounds and only ate rice and exercised constantly, it was sickness. It was terrible. At that time I was 22 and started having odd symptoms, not just from anorexia. I went to more than 6 doctors and finally received a diagnosis of scleroderma-specifically CREST disease. It is autoimmune where the body attacks itself, very similar to lupus. I decided I needed to eat. So ate I did all the way up to 265 pounds! So I was 32 years old and 265 pounds and decided on gastric bypass. Before the surgery I had to be tested to see how bad the CREST was. To my amazement, it was absent! No more anti-nuclear antibody attacking the centromere of my cells. To this day it is not there. Drs. tell me it is either gone, or in remission. I often wondered if my past anorexia nervosa started or caused the autoimmune disease. Perhaps my body thought I was dying and began attacking itself in an attempt to stop some sinister virus or bacteria-who knows!? Anyway, insurance granted surgery and I had Roux-en-y gastric bypass in 2005 in December in Dallas by Dr. James Davidson, a great surgeon by the way! The weight fell off, it was amazing, awesome, it was heaven! My energy was off the chart and I could go all day and night without needing a rest. About a year after my surgery, I was laid off after six years at Citigroup. It was then, I stopped following up with my surgeon. My lowest was 130 though I fluctuated mostly between 140-150 and that was fine with me. In 2008 I started college for the first time to get my ADN in Registered Nursing. During this time I started drinking Dr. Pepper again. I love Dr. Pepper and I do not drink diet because the sorbitol, aspartame, all the artificial sweeteners give me migraine with aura. So there I was guzzling Dr. Pepper again. Slowly I started eating pretzels. Not just a few, lots and lots of Snyder's pretzels-the snaps, specifically. I began eating more and more carbohydrates. One morning in 2010 near the end of my nursing program I hopped on the scale and weighed 190! Wow, I could not believe I was up to 190. I graduated and obtained my RN license in 2011! I found my first RN position and I love being a nurse! But I notice my energy is sluggish and I sweat too much! I would bring pretzels to work and keep them at my computer so that while I chart on patients, I can graze away! And...GRAZE AWAY I did!! So 2 months ago I hopped on the scale at work and what do you know-206!! I said to myself, "okay, you had better do something now". And so here I am trying to get back on track-No not trying, I am back on track! I am looking into what could be done surgically and even called some places. But today, 11/6/13, I have decided to give myself a chance to let corrected eating work. I have set a deadline though. I will do back on track and see where it gets me by February. Part of this is because I will be moving back home to Dallas in February. If I do not lose a good amount by February I will be back in Dallas and will be close to Bariatric care. Where I am now, I am at least three hours away from any bariatric care. So this seems a good thing for me. It gives me time to see what I can accomplish by getting back on track and it gives me a specific time to achieve a goal. I am so happy to be here on this forum and share with others!
Also I would like to add I have a gorgeous, intelligent daughter, Audrey-she is 23! I have a wonderful and supportive man-friend, Roger and we have been together since 2009. We have three beautiful and spoiled cats: Two boys- Baby and Liam, and our newest addition to our family, Gretchen. We love our cats, they are our fur-babies! I am a happy, fulfilled person, very open-minded, and I feel globally connected to the world. I use positive affirmations in my life, using them pulled me out of depression, so severe that I have had Electric Convulsive Therapy at one time. I conquered depression and I will conquer regain! And if I want to put this in a positive affirmation I would say, " I lost a significant amount of weight and I am healthy and enjoy great energy and stamina! I eat high protein and drink water throughout my day and feel very satisfied!"! So there it is!
