RizingPheonix

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Hey there ladies and gents, I saw my surgeon a little earlier than expected so I figured its time for an update. I am down another 15 lbs in about 6 weeks and he is still quite comfortable with that. He reiterated that women loose weight a great deal slower than men and it is more of a struggle for females in general. I'm still not impressed but I'm persistent and at this point, that's all that matters I suppose. I have mixed feelings about the caloric levels but I've decided to move away from shakes and protein bars and stick with eggs and chicken. I'm still not crazy about beef but I'm good with just about everything else, except sea foods with iodine. Its just that without supplementation (ie shakes and protein bars) I have trouble making the minimum of 80 grams of protein. Lab work is still looking good, and I am in the gym 5-6 days a week and enjoying it!

I have noticed there is a significant amount of "saggage" and my skin keeps going thru phases of looking extremely dehydrated. I just got out of the early, post surgical stage of looking older than one actually is, and my overall appearance is improving despite the sagging skin. Because my BMI was in the 60s pre-operative, its not really possible to tone up anything and I know a plastic surgeon is either going to cringe at the sight of me or be thrilled with the challenge. Kinda a toss up at this point, regardless I still have over 100 lbs to go and its proceeding rather sluggishly, especially with such long lasting plateaus. But onward and upward!!! Till next time. Warm regards and never give up the fight!!!!

I have hit a plateau. I don't know how it happened this quickly or even how to break it but I'm there. No honeymoon stage in my weight loss journey that's for sure. I am still at 60lb weight loss. It fluctuates depending on which scale, but there is nothing I seem to be able to to do break it. I feel that my metabolism and genetics are against me in this fight and that they only real answer is a revision to the RNY. Let me explain a little further.

I managed to get my caloric intake up to 1200/day with 80+grams of protein daily. No problem. The uncomfortable feeling in my stomach isn't an issue anymore either. I know I cant really have beef but other than that, everything seems game. I maintain the dietary restrictions we've all had pumped into us, protein then veggies then fruits. Water, water, water. No sodas or juices. No junk food, steer away from processed foods. Done, done and done. I also go to the gym, religiously. I really enjoy it, despite the expected negativity from people. I've intensified my workouts, nothing major, but its noticeably increased my strength and stamina since I started at the gym a month ago. I leave truly exhausted, every time and I love it. I don't get the endorphin high anymore but at least I don't live with the chronic fatigue that I once did. I really feel stronger, inside and out. I've had a bunch of NSV but I still cant get that darn scale down. My lab work is pristine, in fact its better than its ever been in my adult life! So, why won't the scale move? I'm at a loss. 

My next appointment with my surgeon is Jun 9th. I'll update at that point and see what he says. He didnt feel the need to discuss revision as of my last appointment but we'll see where this one takes me.

Till then, stay strong and keep trucking on. Even, if like me, you've hit a wall, don't stop! After all, what is there to go back to?!

Always keep moving forward, there is nothing in the past for you or me.

Well, its three months and a few weeks. Just a bit of an update. Weight loss has slowed down significantly, even though I can see a physical difference the scale is not moving, nor has it in several weeks. To date, depending on which scale I use, I am down 60 lbs total since my surgery date of 12/03/14. I figured I'd share what I am doing to help keep conscious of everything I do as regards my weight. I use myfitnesspal to log my daily food, my exercise and water intake. Its a really useful tool, it can even integrate other apps to log your daily walking/steps, etc. I am also part of a daily chat group on facebook but they are general weight loss/exercise and not specific to bariatric surgery.  I have joined our local gym and am there a minimum of 5 times a week and have even joined a boot camp challenge! Yay! That is until I got sick. My son was my first work out partner but he is having to address some medical issues that prevent him from working out with me for the meantime. My second gym partner didn't last very long at all but my strongest advocate has been my husband. He has done remarkably well in his weight loss and body rebuilding journey and I'm very proud of him. He is at my side at the gym everyday helping me along as we both struggle to strengthen our bodies and work to rebuild them into what they should be. He has returned from the middle east and while he is working on his next contract, he'll be doing interim work that will take away my third gym partner and leave me to my own devices. Yeah. I'm bummed but determined. I do love my gym partners, they make everything better but eventually we all have to step out on our own I suppose. 

I have discussed my slow progress with my surgeon but he seems on board with the weight loss. He is far more comfortable than I am and after listening to his case, I understand his point of view a bit better. He explained that although VSG limits the amount of food we can take in, it still does not alter our genetics or predispositions to weight loss. That really is the bare bones of it and if there is anyone to get angry at it would be my own genetic makeup that has made it so difficult to loose weight. True, I'm still disappointed but it doesn't change how I face everyday either. It is still the same, regardless of whether the scale moves or not.

I love the way I feel after the gym, endorphines are finally starting to show up and my battle with extreme fatigue is improving noticeably. I have run into an issue or two along the way, primarily with not eating enough. It seems I have been forcing my body to hang onto what it has because my caloric intake has been rather low for some time. My goal is to stay around 1200 calories per day even though I've been advised I should be around 2000, especially because of the amount of exercise I am logging. I was logging between 800-1000 calories per day which was causing more problems than I was aware of. Protein is still my greatest struggle, getting in those 80 grams a day is a challenge and I expect I will always rely heavily upon protein shakes to make up the difference. I have also learned to always keep protein bars and water in my car, purse and everywhere I go. Being prepared really makes a difference. I have noticed a significant decline in cravings. Its not something I can ever remember having and its wonderful. No overwhelming desires to eat sweets, which has been my downfall for as long as I can remember. Self control isn't an issue when your own body isnt working against you. Its a quite liberating feeling.

Some non-scale victories? I can cross my legs. LoL! I've dropped several clothing sizes even though I'm difficult to fit right now because there are pockets of fat that are making it challenging. I can sit in just about every chair I come into contact with and don't have to worry about collapsing them!! Yay! Now that the fatigue isn't so severe and I can actually walk a parking lot without passing out from exhaustion or heat stroke, I am looking forward to starting the winter semester and getting things back on track! Wish me luck, as I do for each and every one of you on your journey!!!

Warmest regards.

Two months post-op and I can look back at the last 8 weeks with a sigh of relief. It has been an exceedingly difficult time. Personally, there has been a real gamut of changes spiced with a great deal of stress. Its proven to not be the best VSGers' dieting adjunct.

Depending on whose scale I use, I am down 40 lbs in 8 weeks. Its no where as amazing as what I've seen and heard of, and has been a sore spot for me. Regardless, I know its success. That's 40 lbs I'll never see again, but I was hoping for a much more significant weight loss. I know this is a marathon and not a sprint but darn it, why couldn't I be on board with those that loose 160 lbs in the first four months?! My surgeon is ok with it, but wants to see it doubled by my next appointment in 6 weeks. I wouldn't mind that either. In fact, I have to loose about 32 lbs/month to be able to fit in an international airplane seat to visit hubby in the middle east this summer. I've been told that's an unrealistic goal. In reality, it is what it is. There is nothing I can do differently. 

My diet has little to no carbs in it. I still use protein powder to supplement my diet because I just cant eat enough to make up the prescribed 80 grams of daily protein. I have been rather slow about incorporating solids into my diet. I've noticed a conflict between feeling hungry, full and uncomfortable, so my surgeon suggested I go on a PPI for 2 weeks at a time to see if that is the issue. 

For exercise, while we wait for the gym to open up, my son and I walk 3-4 times a week, about 2-3 miles at a times. We've developed some awesome play lists.

My goals from here on out are to stay focused on building strength, stamina and maintaining consistent weight loss. I've started logging my diet and use a pedometer. It really brings it all home that way. 

Tomorrow is my one month from surgery anniversary. I don't know the exact amount I've lost, but as of this past Monday, I'm down 32lbs. Yay!!! That being said, I'm still mostly on liquids. I am having a hard time with solids. I'm ok with a little chicken and some humus (watch out for the gas!) but I'm meeting my caloric and protein needs with shakes. And lots of them. I have found that I am excessively sensitive, if not outright allergic, to whey and only use egg or soy proteins. Sugar free syrups, frozen bananas and vanilla Almond milk have become diet staples. I have found all kinds of interesting ways to make smoothies that taste better than those sinfully decadent drinks from the DD or starbucks. I haven't added coffee yet, but I'm thinking I'm ready for it. I miss the taste! I wanted to make sure I was getting enough water in before adding anything that might cause dehydration.

Honestly though, I'm a little freaked out by the volume I'm able to take in. It seems like 3/4 cup to a full cup!! I didn't expect that and am afraid it will affect my overall outcome. I have come to realize, especially during the holidays just how much socialization takes place around food. Whoa!! Having to explain weight loss surgery, the differences of RNY vs the Sleeve vs the band, and how surgeries have advanced thru the years, is exhausting! I originally wasn't going to say anything about it but the reality is, it can't be avoided. It seems everyone knows of, or knows someone who knows of, a bad experience related to WLS. It is defending my every choice and the battles I've been thru to get to this point to several different people daily that is frustrating beyond words. 

On a positive note, the extreme fatigue I was feeling early on is fading quickly. I have been able to walk thru the grocery store and actually go shopping. It wasn't until I got to the check out that I realized I'd made it thru the whole store and wasn't in any pain! I was ecstatic and just wanted to jump for joy but somehow found a little restraint since I actually like my local BJs. 

My clothes are falling off and I slipped into the "smallest" pair of jeans I own. It felt so amazingly wonderful!!! I have noticed that I don't fill up my bra cups as robustly as I did, but what a small price to pay! I do want you all to know that I feel fantastic and have started walking in the evenings. Only 3 times a week because I do not wish to over due it, and I can do 1.5 miles without any pain. Yes that's right, no pain! ItS A W E S O M E!!!

One foot in front of the other.....that's how I'll get there. As a matter of coincidence, there is a gym opening about 2 miles from my house. How cool is that?!

Alrighty, its been days and all I want to do is go home!!! Seriously now!

I think I discovered one of the 7 hells and its post operative migraine while in the hospital! More on that in a bit though...

Ok, surgery went great, turns out I had a significant hiatal hernia as well, so along with my VSG, my surgeon fixed up the leaky spots. I had no idea the extent of the hernia or that I'd be getting a two for one in the "significant" surgery category, but its all done and now its just the healing aspect. The first few days were intensely painful, I felt like I couldn't even breath! I told them I felt like I was having a heart attack because the left sided chest pain was unreal! I was then advised I'm not having a heart attack, instead, I'm feeling the area of hernia repair. Ouch! They couldn't stabilize my pain after the surgery until I was put on ketamine. It relieved the pain and I could think clearly for a few minutes but it didn't last unfortunately. I was put on a PCA pump for pain and the vomiting started immediately. Just out of surgery and vomiting blood not only puts the fear of God into you, but teaches one all new levels of pain and suffering. 

Turns out the distal end of my stomach, just before my pyloric valve was unusually thick (a genetic quirk) and required more staples then other parts of my new stomach. I guess I really did have a stomach of steel. Regrettably, it swelled and blocked off any exit from my stomach, thus the constant, and I do mean constant, vomiting and dry heaves. My pain pump and I were become close friends. So, treatment was low dose steroids, since they have a tendency to interfere with the healing process, I was monitored closely and this is when the headaches started showing up. I am not fond of narcotics, never have been and hate relying so heavily on them to even breathe because the pain was so severe, not to mention the fact that they tend to make nausea and vomiting worse, I started to wean myself off the meds. I wasn't as successful as I wanted but I did eventually get off them completely. It took about a day, while the steroids opened up the end of my stomach, and it seemed things were moving along well, until the migraine I was trying to deny, found me. 

They ask you what you pain level is and this one hit with a vengeance 9/10, and I've been suffering from migraines since my pre-pubescent years, so this is not may first rodeo. My surgeon immediately hit me with inject-able Imitrex (aka Sumatriptan) and I was able to finally sleep. Then the weekend. My surgeon doesn't do weekends, early mornings or late nights, he's been at this game too long for such nonsense. So, I already knew I'd drawn a "stay in hospital till the big dog lets you go" card. The doc covering wasn't familiar with Imitrex or its dosing options. I suffered a great deal but, hopefully, he's learned at thing or two about migraines and no one will suffer like I have again. Hopefully.

I started my full liquid diet and that has been a rough ride. I am having trouble distinguishing between hunger pains and everything else swishing about in my belly. Of course I get the intense hunger pains that are accompanied by waves of nausea, regardless, there is constant pressure. It always feels like I've taken in too much. I was given single ounce cups and advised to drink nothing more than one ounce/15 mins. As it stands, I'm lucky to get 3 ounces in 2 hours. I have no idea how I'm going to combat dehydration at this rate. My surgeon did warn me that because of the extensive surgery I underwent and the thickness of my stomach lining, I was facing extended time in rehabilitation. So, for ever week of clear fluids the average patient is on, I am looking at double. So it will be a long road ahead but what is done is done. Now its just a matter of healing and shopping!! Ok, so that part is going to have to wait till my clothes are falling off, but what a reason!!!

So, here I am, waiting for my surgeon to find a break between morning surgeries to come in, say hi and send me home. It would be really nice to lay in my own bed with my hubby just a few nights before he leaves for the other side of the planet. I'm sentimental that way.

Well guys and dolls, this is it. Everything is done and I report to surgery at 7:30am. My bag is packed, I've talked and hugged all my loved ones, except my step daughter in Israel...her I can only tell I love her and hope that nothing untold  happens tomorrow. Pray that everything goes well because some day I will fly to her homeland, fitting in an aircraft seat of course, and see her in my new, healthy form with my husband and son beside me. This isn't just a dream, tomorrow is my first step to making it a reality. I appreciate your prayers and positive energies...see you on the other side.

Its just a few days from surgery and what happens? I wake up with a low grade fever feeling rather unwell. I can't imagine this being something more than just a 24 hr deal and forcing my surgery date to be moved. After all, my surgery was moved up by a week so that my husband could spend more post operative time with me. He has accepted a contract in the middle east as a private contractor for a few years. As it stands, he'll be leaving in December, and our son and I will be staying here. Who knows though, perhaps he'll find that life there would be worth us moving to join him and I'll be writing this blog from the desert!!

Regardless, I hope this is just a passing thing and my surgery date will not be changed. Of course there is the additional fact that I cant sleep much at night. My irrational fears of a blood clot, stroke or infection have begun haunting me endlessly as soon as I try and shut my eyes. And, of course there's the fear that my liver is too large and will prevent them from performing the surgery all together...yes, its true that medical professionals make the worst patients, but in my case, its only because I know to much and all of it is out of my control. It is what it is and I have to accept it and just take the leap of faith...right onto a slab of surgical steel.

ah well, as always, lovingly yours,

sleepless in south florida

Well this is the beginning. The first steps towards my journey and life changes I'll experience once I receive bariatric surgery on Dec 3rd 2014. Its been a long time coming, I've been trying to get the surgery since 2000 but have be told I was too health. Insurances floated with the concept that my health would decline, I'd loose my job and coverage and no longer be their problem. I suppose such a hateful attitude did in fact pay off.

My health did in fact, steadily decline as controlling my weight became more of an issue. I did eventually loose my ability to function in my profession and lost my healthcare coverage. Things only got worse from there, I'm afraid.

Fast forward to today, things are decent. My health is still a desperate mess but nothing as bad as before. And now a new lease on life, another chance! I cant even begin to find the words. It wouldn't be as effective if my "eating" buddy didn't also have the same surgery, which he did, Oct 30, 2014. He has been doing phenominally well!!! His back pain is gone, his diabetes is improving everyday and he has more energy and no need for his CPAP anymore. And thats just in the first two weeks! Just imagine where he is headed!

When we met 17 years ago and he learned that I only ate once a day and went to the gym 5 days a week, he though I was starving myself. At the time I was still considered obese at 6'1 and 280lbs. I wore a size 12 on top and an 18-20 on the bottom. He introduced me to his style of eating which was basically buffet restaurants galore and he wouldn't eat if I didn't. Well he didn't have a problem with obesity and was quite healthy so I gave in. Of course looking back now, that should have been ridiculously unacceptable but times and thinking is different. Both he and I were wrong back then, in many ways. Regardless, after he gave up smoking the day after our son was born, he started putting on weight rather quickly and was never successful at breaking below 300lbs again. For reference he also stands at 6'1. Thus he had the gastric sleeve done by the same surgeon who will be performing my procedure next month.

I know I need to keep these entries rather small but I love writing...strangly enough, but I want to keep a record of this journey so that I can look back and follow my own steps thru this process. 

Starting weight is 435lbs, wearing sizes 28-30