redzhope
My story is probably similar to most people's. I was always a pretty chunky person and got away with putting on pounds because I had a smaller face. I chose the- "make people laugh" route most of my life and without consciously.realizing it surrounded myself with beautiful thin friends.
I always dated and found men that were attracted to me but felt like my weight inhibited any long term relationships. After a rough break-up I lost about 50 pounds and still to this day am unsure how that happened. In that "skinny" moment in time I met my now husband of 9 years. Since then I have progressed to my highest current weight of 248 pounds.
I have tried weight watchers, phen phen, the cabbage soup diet, the pineapple diet and too many to list. I felt like I was doomed to a life of fatness and often contemplated why I made the shitty choices that only made me resent myself further. But I suppose I fell into a lull of being the fat funny girl with the pretty face....
But then I had my daughter. Then a miscarriage. Then my son. Then a miscarriage. And then yet one more miscarriage.
There was no medical reason the doctors could attribute to the miscarriages but I felt like maybe my weight had been the culprit. All of a sudden I began to look at mirrors and see what I had done to myself. I was devastated and knew I had to change my life FOR GOOD but I wasn't sure how.
I met a girl at work who had the lap band and lost 120 pounds and a light went off in my head. This was my chance. This was it. I had to take a leap of faith for my health and for the the knowledge that I did EVERYTHING to have another child.
So here I am....I have finished my tests and am waiting for approval from my insurance company. If I get it, I am scheduled to have the Lap Band on August 27, 2009 with Dr. Vohra in Long Island, NY.
I don't know that I believe in my heart that I can do it....but I do believe that I need to commit to change and I hope that my resolve together with the aide of the band will help me achieve my goal of a healthier life both physically, spiritually and emotionally.
