RaeRae1

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Hello OH family.  As of today, I am 222 pounds, down from 280.  I have lost 58 pounds!!!  I am so excited.  I have lost about 27 inches throughout my body and guess what?? I can fit into my husbands T shirts!!!  I am Sooo SIKED!!!! I took a few camera phone pictures that I will put in my 3 month photo album.  I did my 3 month blood work last week and I have my 3 month doctor's appointment on this coming Wednesday.  I feel really great right now.  Thanksgiving was good, I ate what I needed to eat and wasn't disappointed at all.  After all these years of stuffing myself, it finally felt good to just eat a little bit and be satisfied.

One of my nephews said the cutest thing to me at Thanksgiving.  He walks into the kitchen, looks at me and says "Auntie Rae-Rae, your body looks like an hour glass, you are so small" and then he walked away.  My sister (his mother) was just cracking up and my husband says "Stop looking at my wife"..LOL  It was hilarious to me.  I mean does a 13 year old boy know what an hour glass looks like?? I took it as a compliment...LOL  Ok, that's it for now.. Talk to ya soon!!!

Changes, Changes, Changes!!!

Well, It's been about a month since I've updated my page. So many new and exciting things are happening. First things first, I am now at 230 pounds a 50 pound loss since I started this journey. I'm edging towards size 14, I've lost a ton of inches and I just feel GREAT!!! It's not just the scale victories though, it's also the Non Scale Victories that make me feel so good.  At work, people are stopping me and telling me how good I look. Yesterday, this lady did a double take and said "WOW, you look great".  This evening, I went to my sister's 40th birthday party.  My oldest nephew says to me "Auntie Rae Rae, you are so skinny"...ME? Skinny?? OMG!!!!  Then, one of my nieces walks up to me, puts both of her hands around my waist and says "Look guys, auntie Rae Rae is skinny".  It really brings tears to my eyes.  God has been so good to me and I'm grateful to Him for allowing me to have this surgery and for also allowing things to be really good right now.  For that, I am eternally grateful.

I have to go for my 3 month blood work on Monday.  My Doctor's appointment is not until December 3.  I'm feeling ok, just a little bit tired at times.  I know that it is because I'm not getting in enough protein.  I'm really working at getting it in as I should because it is VERY important.  Until next time, God bless.

Just weighed myself this fine Monday morning and guess what?? I'm 238 pounds!! WHAT???? I have NEVER been 238 pounds before.  That's 42 pounds since surgery!! I am just loving this!!!  I am in a size 16, I have a REAL waist, My shoe size has gone from a 10 to an 81/2.  My rings are going round and round my fingers.  My necklaces fit so much better.  I feel really, really good.  I have to really boost my workouts though.  That's my next goal to Intensify!!!  I have to get some updated pictures up here.  I cut my hair so I look REALLY different :-)  I'll post some soon.


I'm 2 months out and I thank God for bringing me this far.  God has been Sooooo good to me and I thank Him for his grace and His mercy.  That's all for now.....Talk with you soon!!

I weighed myself this morning and guess what?? I'm at 242.  Wow..That's amazing to me.  Guess what else?  So, I went to one of my big girl stores (The Avenue) on yesterday to do a little clothes shopping.  Out of habit, I automatically went to my "regular" size which is a 22.  So I'm standing there and it hit me, wait, I'm not a 22 anymore.  Now please keep in mind that in the past, I NEVER tried on clothes.  I grabbed my size and called it a day.  Now, all of a sudden, sister girl want to act like she's in a fashion show!!  So I grab two skirts, one is a 18 one is a 16 and I grab a sweater that is a 18.  I go and try on the size 16 skirt and guess what?  IT FIT!!!  I was like SAY WHAT??? Great moment for me.  The other skirt was a cute little denim skirt and it fit well in the 18.  I didn't try it on in the 16 but I liked the way it looked in the 18 so I kept it.  The sweater also looked good and even though the "girls" are slowly leaving, they are still here!!  I decided to keep the 18 sweater so that the girls could breathe..lol

Anyway, I'm very excited.  I went to my first official function today. Some friends of mine got married and of course where there is a wedding there is a wedding reception.  They had baked chicken and turkey so I did eat a little bit of that but not a whole lot.  OH, by the way, I Cut my hair!!  It's really short and it's like So NOT me because I am a weave wearing, ponytail clip, half wig wearing girl and this is the shortest my hair has ever been.  I have to get used to it.  Everyone says that they like it and unless they are lying to me..(they better not be) but I have to believe that it looks decent.
The funny thing (or maybe it isn't funny), several people stated that I looked younger.  One mother in my church didn't know it was me and thought that I was my 11 yes ELEVEN year old niece.  Now either my niece looks like she's 35 or the mother needs her eyes checked because I KNOW I don't look like I'm Eleven!!  Someone else told me that I looked like I was 19.  I was like OK, I'll take that.  For a moment, I was offended because I was like DAG< all these years, I was looking old and nobody even told me?? I'm like geez, I looked old and I was Fat..  GREAT... Then I got over it as the compliments kept pouring in...LOL 

Anyway, I'll post again soon.  I'm having a little trouble with food, only because I keep rushing when I eat and you all know what happens when we rush to eat??  I don't mean rush like I'm being greedy. I mean I just went back to work this week and  I feel like there isn't enough time I am trying to get back in the swing of things

I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 248!! 

Umm, funny story, Sistah girl apparently can't count!!  I have been saying that I lost 30 pounds but it was really 28 pounds. So now, my total lost is 32 pounds...LOL  I'll count better from  now on!!

Ok, so I have officially not lost any weight in the past week!!  I am a little upset.  I'm upset because my stupid scale says that I GAINED 3 pounds.  How can that be?? Ok, so it is time for Aunt Flow's monthly visit, however, she's late and she's getting on my nerves now!!  I don't know what is going on but if that scale doesn't start moving in the opposite direction, I'm Going OFF!!!

Ok, enough of that.  I'll be fine.  Nothing that more protein and exercise won't fix.  All better. Thanks for listening..

In other news, I went back to church after a month of staying home recovering.  Please understand that I am not in a backsliden state...LOL (inside j/k for my COGIC INT"L sistahs) it's just that I am SOOOO involved at my church that it would have been very hard to resist the temptation to  sing with the choir or the praise team.  I also like to get my shout on in church and when the spirit moves me...LOOK OUT...LOL I digress, anyway, I went back to church and everybody was like OMG< you look so good, blah blah blah.  Most of it was very positive but there were a couple of people who REALLY TICKED ME OFF!!

Person number one: So How much weight have you lost?
Me: 30 pounds
#1:  you look great, so you won't lose anymore right?
Me:  Umm, I have about 60 more pounds to lose (I did NOT have this operation to lose 30 doggone pounds!!)
#1:  OMG, you don't need to lose anymore weight...
Me:  Oh yes I do, ok have a good night
I walked away thinking, is she serious?? I am still FAT, just less fat than when they saw me a month ago!!

Shall we continue?
 Let me give you some background about person #2.  Person number 2 is also obese.  She and I have had numerous conversations about losing weight.  She was against me having this operation but We're not that close so I didn't care WHAT she thought.   For the last 3 years, she has literally lost 25 pounds at WW.  Nothing against her or her choices but this was my choice and I made it very clear to her.  So a few weeks ago, she sent me this card.  It started off very nicely but she ended it by saying "beauty is on the inside" as to insinuate that I was getting this operation for vanity  purposes only.  Here was the conversation.

Person #2:  Did you get my card?
Me: Yes, thank you..
Person #2, You look good, but remember what I said. Beauty if on the inside and you were already a beautiful woman. You didn't need this surgery.
Me:  Well, I needed the surgery, I had the surgery and I'm glad about it!!  Have a good night...LOL

Person #3.. ARGGGGGG she is a total head case and I shouldn't have let her get to me but she kind of did.  Picture this.  Hartford, CT, 2008 (LOL I love Sophia from the Golden Girls)...Ok, anyway,  picture about 50 people all coming over to greet me (remember,, I haven't been to church in over a month), While I'm talking to one person, I can hear other people making comments like "Wow, Rae looks good,  and She has lost so much weight...you get the point.  So person number three is in conversation with someone else.  She carries her conversation over to me. 


Person#3 "Rae, did you hear what I told them"
Me: No I didn't .
Person #3 "Everyone is saying that you look so good, I told them that you were still a before and we were waiting for the after" then she starts laughing.
Me: I looked at her and God forgive me, I rolled my eyes and I walked away!!  She just stood there with a dumb look on her face.  Everybody was looking at her like she  had ten heads.

So, why did I write yet another long blog you may ask?  Well, I just wanted everyone to know that no matter what stage of this journey you are on, there are going to be people who support you and people who don't.  Bottom line is that you didn't do this for anyone else, you did this for yourself.   Don't let anyone discourage you. Believe God, Trust God and know that if He brought you this far (Excuse  me language but ) HE AINT GOING NO WHERE!!!!

Love you guys!!

I am 4 weeks out and down 30 pounds.  I'm feeling ok, sometimes my energy level is good, sometimes it is bad.  I'm on solid foods now.  I'm taking it easy because to be honest, it's a little scary!!   I'm going to keep taking it easy though.  My plan is to try different foods from the different food groups.  I need variety in my life so I want to try different things!! 

I'm starting to see some changes.  I was wearing a 22 and they were starting to get tight so I started wearing some of my 24's that I had hidden in the closet.  I had a mini fashion show on Saturday and guess what?? I definitely can't fit the 24's anymore, the 22's are hanging off of me so I went to my 18/20's and guess what?? They fit!!!  I'm so excited...

My family keeps telling me that I look good.  I really wasn't seeing it but now I guess that i am.  I guess I'm a little anxious. I just want to drop 100 pounds like that but I know it's a process.

I started a small exercise program. I haven't been released to really exercise a whole lot but I can walk and I do the Gazelle for a few minutes a day.  I also have some hand weights that I've started using.

My brother Dwain is going to work out with me when I'm released to work out regularly.  He is an excellent athlete and I look forward to the program he is putting together for  me.  My ultimate goal is to run. No, I'm not talking about running in a marathon, I'm talking about being one of those healthy people who run for fun...LOL...More like jogging but that is my desire. 

I don't know what it is but I have been watching the food network channel like crazy!!  I have also been going to food websites like all recipes.com and I've been printing off recipes, healthy recipes.  I'm dedicated to this journey and I will succeed at this!!!

That's enough for now.  Will update more later!!

It's been a little while since I posted so I thought that I would update everyone.

Since surgery, I have lost 24.5 pounds!! I tried on my favorite black dress that would not fit a month ago. Guess what? It fits with room to spare!!  I'm amazed at what 24 pounds can do. I'm feeling better and getting stronger everyday. My husband goes on walks with me and I can feel my energy coming back.  I'm still off from work. Not that my job is physical (I'm a supervisor) but it's more mental then anything. I think that my doctor understood this and he just gave me six weeks off. I'm cool with that!! 

So what am I eating these days? I'm still on pureed foods.  I try to eat foods that are already blended : yogurt, oatmeal etc. But for the foods that I have to blend, I use lite mayo (love it). For my meats, I'm eating chicken, tuna fish and Roast Beef Hash. I'm also eating re-fried beans. I know that I have to do better on my vegetables.  I'm getting my protein in and trying everyday to get this water in!!  Everyday I'm getting closer to 64 oz though....

That's it for now.....

On 8/11/08, I took the major step of beginning my life over again.  At 6:45 a.m., I was sitting at St. Mary's Hospital preparing for my surgery.  My husband, along with my parents, were with me.  I was a little surprised when I got to the hospital and I was told that I had been pushed from being the first patient having surgery to the second.  So i had to wait about an hour before they began to prep me.  During this time, my thoughts were spinning out of control.  Although I am a woman of faith and I prayed and thought that I was seemingly calm, I found myself in a panic. 

I was taken to the pre-surgery area where I prepared for surgery: changing into the johnny coat, being hooked up to IV's and watching my mother put those wonderful stockings on me!!  The anesthesiologist came in and asked me questions about my past surgeries, if I had any issues with anesthesa ect.  Then he started talking about how I would be under for 3 and 1/2 hours and how a tube would be down my throat and all the risks associated with this surgery, blah, blah, blah.  Now I know that it was necessary and I already knew the risks, however, I freaked out!!  Then Dr. Richi comes in the room and talks about the surgery, he encourages me and tells us that I would be going down to surgery at about a half an hour (it was 9:00a.m). 

I went to the bathroom (AGAIN) and as I sat there, I started to think about what I was getting ready to do.  Needless to say, I broke COMPLETELY down and wanted to tell the medical staff to take out the Picc Line, the filter, all those tubes, etc,etc, because I was going HOME!!  I was crying so much and dry heaving that my mother called my husband and my father in and they began to pray for me.  I calmed down and I looked and I saw that the anesthesiologist was standing outside of the room and saw my meltdown!!  He immediately came in and stated that they were going to give me something to "help me".  Well people, IT HELPED...LOL...I remember my husband kissing me and me trying to say "I love you".   In all honesty, I don't remember being rolled from the room to the Operating Room.  I just remember waking up in Recovery with the nurse saying welcome back or something like that. 

After staying in recovery for a little while (I really don't know how long, I was totally out of it), I was rolled to my room.  They must have rolled me past my family because I heard them saying yeah, there she is!!.  For the rest of the night, I heard that all of my family was in the room, including my parents, my husband, one of my brothers his wife and their 5 children, my sister and her three children, My eldest aunt and my cousin.  I had a few visitors, but I couldn't remember anything.  I was so gone!!

My doctor wanted me to get up and walk so the nurses attempted to get me out of bed.  BAD CHOICE, I almost passed out!!  They had to literally lift me up on my bed.  No walking for Rae that night!!!

There was some  mix up with my room.  I was supposed to have a private room but I ended up in a semi private room with a roommate.  Just picture this scene: 14 people in a semi private room...Impossible!!  They moved me really quickly to my own private room...LOL 

The next morning, I felt ok but I still didn't feel like walking.  I got up and was aided by the nurses and I managed to walk around once.  As the day went on, I was able to walk more and more.  I had a foley in me and it drove me crazy!!  I was also hooked up with a picc line and I had on these very tight stockings that seemed to be sucking the LIFE out of my legs!!  I just wanted OUT.    Oh yeah, they took me down for the upper GI check and cat scan to make sure there were no leaks.  Thank God there were NONE!!!  For the rest of the day, I had a few visitors and I rested and walked and sipped.  I had a great nurse, nurse's aide and student PA that really helped me begin the recovery process.  I am grateful for their support and care during my hospital stay.

The next morning brought great relief!!  The foley came out, the IV's came out, I was able to walk around by myself, I felt great!!  Then Dr. Richi comes in the room and says "Ok, you are going home today".  I was like WHAT???  So, after just 1 full day in the hospital,I am home.  I'm doing ok. A little uncomfortable at times with the gas and with the drain (the stiches came undone and started to bleed).  I am a stomach sleeper and because I can't sleep on my stomach, I'm a little uncomfortable but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it all.

I'm still on all liquids.  I am taking Isopure for protein (Grape Frost) it's ok but I can't wait to have food as my protein source as well.  I'm eating popsicles, jello all suger free of course.  I'm going to try some diet snapple today.  I tried crystal light which I loved pre-op but post-op, YUCK!! 

This has been quite an experience.  I thank God for bringing me safely through this surgery.  I have my first post-op appointment with Dr. Richi on tomorrow (8/18/08).  That's it for now!!

I post as often as I can but I rarely update my blog.  My surgery is on Monday 8/11/08.  I'm excited, nervous, etc, etc...God knows and I know that He will take care of me.  I'm on this 2 day liquid diet and I know that I should be grateful that I didn't have to do a 2 week diet but I'm still a little hungry..LOL  This will be worth it though....