rachieo
Almost 7 months out..
Aug 09, 2009
On August 13, it'll have been seven months since I had surgery.
Very frustrated about clothes not fitting. Due to job loss in June, I have no money to buy clothes, so I'm using safety pins like MAD. I went to a family reunion last month, and my grandmother insisted on buying me an outfit that fit. It was nice. I have never fit into the plus size section in Macy's, even their largest sizes. My last pants I ordered were a size 36, another in another style was 38.
I fit into size 22 jeans at Macy's. I actually squeezed into a 20 at my grandmother's insistence (while my aunt egged her on...haha!), but didn't feel comfortable. Now I'm kind of wishing I'd gotten the 20, but I wouldn't have been comfortable at the time. The shirt is also a 22. I was in a 32 before, and not all 32 shirts would fit. Some were too tight. It was just that unless I wanted to order things, I had to try and squeeze into a 32, or a 30/32 from Avenue. This 22 fits just fine!
I finally got under 250 lbs. I think I've hit another plateau. The last one was only a couple of weeks long, but this one has been about a month. I've lost relatively little. There's been no weight loss at all this past week or two, so that's frustrating. One thing is again I need to work on the exercise.
I have a friend who had the same surgery as I did (lap rny) but has gained a lot of weight back. She's kind of thrown all of the things she'd learned to do by the wayside, and has taken big steps backwards. She's almost given up, but I told her I need support too, and I could go over to her house, or she could come to mine, and we'll go walking together a few times a week. I told her I'd remind her of what we should be eating, and I'll go with her shopping, where we'll get some protein powder, and figure out some lowfat protein sources so she can try and get back on track. I hope I can help her out, but this also will be really helpful to me, I think. I still don't get very HUNGRY, but I do get little cravings for tastes. Normally salt.
I bought a box of Cheez-its, due to a craving. Figured I could eat a few every so often, to satisfy the craving, but literally I planned to eat maybe 4 or 5 at a time. A couple of times a week, max.
No ma'am. That didn't work AT ALL. I've had doctors/nutritionists/etc talk to me about "trigger foods" and it turns out crackers are a big one for me. It's a good thing to find out, but scares me. How many other "trigger foods" are going to show up? And will I really be able to keep myself in control for the rest of my life???
I'm hoping so! I didn't go through all of this to gain weight back...I need to go back to just not keeping any foods like this in my house. I did that for a long time prior to surgery, so no reason I can't do it now.
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Very frustrated about clothes not fitting. Due to job loss in June, I have no money to buy clothes, so I'm using safety pins like MAD. I went to a family reunion last month, and my grandmother insisted on buying me an outfit that fit. It was nice. I have never fit into the plus size section in Macy's, even their largest sizes. My last pants I ordered were a size 36, another in another style was 38.
I fit into size 22 jeans at Macy's. I actually squeezed into a 20 at my grandmother's insistence (while my aunt egged her on...haha!), but didn't feel comfortable. Now I'm kind of wishing I'd gotten the 20, but I wouldn't have been comfortable at the time. The shirt is also a 22. I was in a 32 before, and not all 32 shirts would fit. Some were too tight. It was just that unless I wanted to order things, I had to try and squeeze into a 32, or a 30/32 from Avenue. This 22 fits just fine!
I finally got under 250 lbs. I think I've hit another plateau. The last one was only a couple of weeks long, but this one has been about a month. I've lost relatively little. There's been no weight loss at all this past week or two, so that's frustrating. One thing is again I need to work on the exercise.
I have a friend who had the same surgery as I did (lap rny) but has gained a lot of weight back. She's kind of thrown all of the things she'd learned to do by the wayside, and has taken big steps backwards. She's almost given up, but I told her I need support too, and I could go over to her house, or she could come to mine, and we'll go walking together a few times a week. I told her I'd remind her of what we should be eating, and I'll go with her shopping, where we'll get some protein powder, and figure out some lowfat protein sources so she can try and get back on track. I hope I can help her out, but this also will be really helpful to me, I think. I still don't get very HUNGRY, but I do get little cravings for tastes. Normally salt.
I bought a box of Cheez-its, due to a craving. Figured I could eat a few every so often, to satisfy the craving, but literally I planned to eat maybe 4 or 5 at a time. A couple of times a week, max.
No ma'am. That didn't work AT ALL. I've had doctors/nutritionists/etc talk to me about "trigger foods" and it turns out crackers are a big one for me. It's a good thing to find out, but scares me. How many other "trigger foods" are going to show up? And will I really be able to keep myself in control for the rest of my life???
I'm hoping so! I didn't go through all of this to gain weight back...I need to go back to just not keeping any foods like this in my house. I did that for a long time prior to surgery, so no reason I can't do it now.
still losing...thankfully!
Jun 23, 2009
my hair loss has slowed down significantly. i may have even STOPPED losing extra hair. i may be losing a bit more than i did before surgery, but my daily hair loss isn't dramatic. i don't think it's growing back yet, but we'll see. i hate to complain, given that my hair is so thick and literally no one besides my very best friends and family can even tell at all. now it just looks like i have normal hair. :)
whew.
i was really nervous about that. i literally lost half of my hair. literally. the ribbon that i had used to measure my pre-loss ponytail thickness and to measure the relative loss is still measuring about the same as it has for the last few weeks, so at the very least the bulk of my hair loss has already happened.
i still have a LONG way to go, but this weekend i attended my best friend's wedding in palm springs and wore a bathing suit for the first time since i was about 12! i actually couldn't believe i convinced myself to do it, but no one seemed to be horrified. it's not revealing or anything, but it still fits tightly, like swimsuits do. i wouldn't wear one without a little skirt sort of thing...that helps a lot to feel more comfortable. anyway. that was a big step.
OH. here's something that really really shocked me, and brought tears to my eyes. when i got on the plane in san francisco, i told the flight attendant that i'd need a seatbelt extender (as i always have). she looked at me and said "ok, i can bring you one, but you look like you probably won't need it." i explained that i always have, but that i had recently lost over 100 lbs so maybe not.
she was right. there was even room to spare. i was SHOCKED.
huge milestone!
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whew.
i was really nervous about that. i literally lost half of my hair. literally. the ribbon that i had used to measure my pre-loss ponytail thickness and to measure the relative loss is still measuring about the same as it has for the last few weeks, so at the very least the bulk of my hair loss has already happened.
i still have a LONG way to go, but this weekend i attended my best friend's wedding in palm springs and wore a bathing suit for the first time since i was about 12! i actually couldn't believe i convinced myself to do it, but no one seemed to be horrified. it's not revealing or anything, but it still fits tightly, like swimsuits do. i wouldn't wear one without a little skirt sort of thing...that helps a lot to feel more comfortable. anyway. that was a big step.
OH. here's something that really really shocked me, and brought tears to my eyes. when i got on the plane in san francisco, i told the flight attendant that i'd need a seatbelt extender (as i always have). she looked at me and said "ok, i can bring you one, but you look like you probably won't need it." i explained that i always have, but that i had recently lost over 100 lbs so maybe not.
she was right. there was even room to spare. i was SHOCKED.
huge milestone!
coming up on four months post-op...
May 08, 2009
I can't believe it's been less than four months, actually. It seems like it's been so much longer in many ways. The weight loss isn't steady lately...more like a couple of pounds one week, then eight pounds the next week, then four pounds, etc. It had been pretty steady prior to that. It was higher in the beginning, and had slowed down, but was still not so up and down. I'm not quite sure why it's going like that, but the nurse-practitioner has gotten me down to weighing only once per week, so that has got me obsessing about it less!
I'm not sure if I'm more nervous than people typically are by this point, or if it's very normal, but I still get nervous about all kinds of things! Now that I don't have to worry about the healing part of it so much, I'm coming up with other things to worry about. At my next appointment I want to ask if they normally do any kind of scan to see how big the stomach has stretched out to so far. I get full easily, so it can't be THAT big, but I can drink quite a bit a LOT quicker than I used to be able to. I can drink significantly more volume than I can eat, and I know that's normal, but it used to take me a few hours to drink a 16 ounce protein drink, and now I can drink it in under an hour.
I probably should seek out a support group or similar here so that I'm not just waiting for my next appointment with all kinds of crazy questions.
My hair has been falling out, too. I can't tell by looking, yet, but I'm definitely noticing every day in the shower. I'm planning on getting my hair cut, thinking that if it's shorter I at least won't notice *so* much hair coming out at a time. The doctors basically just tell me protein and vitamins, protein and vitamins. Hair falling out is a good motivator. ;)
In good news Trader Joe's finally opened a couple of miles from my house, which means easy access to a variety of greek yogurt! Excellent way to get in a good deal of protein with a small volume of food.
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I'm not sure if I'm more nervous than people typically are by this point, or if it's very normal, but I still get nervous about all kinds of things! Now that I don't have to worry about the healing part of it so much, I'm coming up with other things to worry about. At my next appointment I want to ask if they normally do any kind of scan to see how big the stomach has stretched out to so far. I get full easily, so it can't be THAT big, but I can drink quite a bit a LOT quicker than I used to be able to. I can drink significantly more volume than I can eat, and I know that's normal, but it used to take me a few hours to drink a 16 ounce protein drink, and now I can drink it in under an hour.
I probably should seek out a support group or similar here so that I'm not just waiting for my next appointment with all kinds of crazy questions.
My hair has been falling out, too. I can't tell by looking, yet, but I'm definitely noticing every day in the shower. I'm planning on getting my hair cut, thinking that if it's shorter I at least won't notice *so* much hair coming out at a time. The doctors basically just tell me protein and vitamins, protein and vitamins. Hair falling out is a good motivator. ;)
In good news Trader Joe's finally opened a couple of miles from my house, which means easy access to a variety of greek yogurt! Excellent way to get in a good deal of protein with a small volume of food.
weight loss has slowed way down...
Apr 07, 2009
eek. not happy about how much my weight loss has slowed down. i need to up my exercise...i was doing really well with that for a while, and now not so much. being off the lyrica and cymbalta for the diabetic neuropathy and fibromyalgia PAINS has not helped. makes it hard to feel up to do anything much at all!
seeing the doctor again tomorrow, and getting a referral to a rheumatologist. i'm sure there will be lots of tests run, as there always are. i'd always hoped that the fibro diagnosis was not correct, but i don't really know why. i guess since it's such a vague sort of disease/condition that it is difficult to really trust the diagnosis. i was misdiagnosed as having multiple sclerosis years ago, and i'd take fibromyalgia ANY day over that. just curious to see what the specialist will come up with. hopefully something more easily (and inexpensively) treated.
and with this requirement from my insurance to get a new official diagnosis from a specialist, hopefully whatever he/she says will convince insurance to approve treatment again. this pain thing blows, frankly.
i did get a new bike. it's at my new place, waiting for me! i'll need to get a bike helmet, too, considering how accident prone i am. all i need is to bust my head open on the road or similar.
the good news is that even though the weight loss has REALLY slowed down, i'm down into the 200s for the first time in years. bye 300s!!!!!!!
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seeing the doctor again tomorrow, and getting a referral to a rheumatologist. i'm sure there will be lots of tests run, as there always are. i'd always hoped that the fibro diagnosis was not correct, but i don't really know why. i guess since it's such a vague sort of disease/condition that it is difficult to really trust the diagnosis. i was misdiagnosed as having multiple sclerosis years ago, and i'd take fibromyalgia ANY day over that. just curious to see what the specialist will come up with. hopefully something more easily (and inexpensively) treated.
and with this requirement from my insurance to get a new official diagnosis from a specialist, hopefully whatever he/she says will convince insurance to approve treatment again. this pain thing blows, frankly.
i did get a new bike. it's at my new place, waiting for me! i'll need to get a bike helmet, too, considering how accident prone i am. all i need is to bust my head open on the road or similar.
the good news is that even though the weight loss has REALLY slowed down, i'm down into the 200s for the first time in years. bye 300s!!!!!!!
My expectations are too high, I think!
Mar 19, 2009
I keep getting a bit discouraged. I was so excited at first, but now that the weight loss has slowed down a little it's frustrating. I've lost about 68 lbs since I started my pre-op liquid diet, and 57 lbs since the day of surgery, but I want it to go FASTER.
Mostly I think it's just that I don't look much different. I can barely see it. It seems like with an almost 70 lb loss you should be able to tell a big difference! People say they can notice it, some say in the stomach, usually people say they can definitely tell in the face. However, not that I think people are LYING, but no one wants to say "yeah, you look the same" when they know what you went through. When people ask how much I've lost, I'm reluctant to even tell them because I feel like they'll be thinking "Yeah right!!!" when they see me!
Who cares what other people think, though, right? Mostly it's what *I* think that's getting to me. I know I need to be more patient, and I should look at the fact that my weight loss is substantial. I've lost more than a lot of people have at the two month mark, and I should count myself lucky for that. Actually, last Friday was my two month mark. And my birthday!
So. I've lost nearly 70 lbs. I turned 34 last Friday (the 13th!), and things are going okay.
I just have to be more patient.
I want to get a job I enjoy, and one that has regular hours instead of the weird schedule right now where I may work six days in a row, or work one day in two weeks. I want to make more money and move somewhere other than where I live right now. I want to go back to school and get a Master's degree, and then possibly a PhD. And I want it all to happen RIGHT NOW. Totally unrealistic, I know, but I think I was so focused on all the positive post-op changes that I never stopped to consider that it'd take time for them to happen.
I don't regret the surgery at all - I'm definitely better off than I was before. I have little concerns, such as my nearly non-existent appetite, being tired all of the time, the CPAP irritating me more than it ever did (maybe the pressure is wrong now that I've lost weight?) so my sleep is not great, etc etc. None of them are serious concerns, and I really need to get myself focused on all the GOOD things.
Tomorrow is my two month post-op appointment at UCDavis, so here's hoping it's good. I'm sure I'll have some nutrient deficiencies that need to be addressed, but besides that I think everything is going fine! I still have my hair! There's a good thing to focus on. :)
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Mostly I think it's just that I don't look much different. I can barely see it. It seems like with an almost 70 lb loss you should be able to tell a big difference! People say they can notice it, some say in the stomach, usually people say they can definitely tell in the face. However, not that I think people are LYING, but no one wants to say "yeah, you look the same" when they know what you went through. When people ask how much I've lost, I'm reluctant to even tell them because I feel like they'll be thinking "Yeah right!!!" when they see me!
Who cares what other people think, though, right? Mostly it's what *I* think that's getting to me. I know I need to be more patient, and I should look at the fact that my weight loss is substantial. I've lost more than a lot of people have at the two month mark, and I should count myself lucky for that. Actually, last Friday was my two month mark. And my birthday!
So. I've lost nearly 70 lbs. I turned 34 last Friday (the 13th!), and things are going okay.
I just have to be more patient.
I want to get a job I enjoy, and one that has regular hours instead of the weird schedule right now where I may work six days in a row, or work one day in two weeks. I want to make more money and move somewhere other than where I live right now. I want to go back to school and get a Master's degree, and then possibly a PhD. And I want it all to happen RIGHT NOW. Totally unrealistic, I know, but I think I was so focused on all the positive post-op changes that I never stopped to consider that it'd take time for them to happen.
I don't regret the surgery at all - I'm definitely better off than I was before. I have little concerns, such as my nearly non-existent appetite, being tired all of the time, the CPAP irritating me more than it ever did (maybe the pressure is wrong now that I've lost weight?) so my sleep is not great, etc etc. None of them are serious concerns, and I really need to get myself focused on all the GOOD things.
Tomorrow is my two month post-op appointment at UCDavis, so here's hoping it's good. I'm sure I'll have some nutrient deficiencies that need to be addressed, but besides that I think everything is going fine! I still have my hair! There's a good thing to focus on. :)
cookbooks
Feb 08, 2009
i also wanted to invite recommendations for any particular cookbooks or specific recipes. i found one for orange chicken, but i know it will be a bit before i can have that.
i go to the soft/chopped foods stage on wednesday. i'm nervous about throwing up or that pain from not tolerating a particular food well, but i'll just try and focus on small bites and chewing really well. when i try a new food i intend to just eat a small bite or two and wait a bit to see how i hold up.
right now it's mostly cottage cheese, but i have had mashed potatoes, soups, and pureed beans. i've also had some unsweetened applesauce and pudding, and they all work out well.
my mom suggested buying a bag of frozen potatoes for mashing...they come in little cubes, and i made sure to get one with no added butter, so that i can be in control of the fat content. it's much easier to control the amount i make, with no worries about potatoes going bad. i have a magic bullet, and i just steam a few cubes with a little bit of water, and then puree them. i added a little bit of the unjury chicken soup flavor protein powder, and that worked out ok. i've also eaten them plain, or with some salt.
speaking of salt, i have had MAD salt cravings. my potassium is low, so maybe that's why, but it's ridiculous!! i've never craved salt this much. i would have occasional cravings for salt, but i've never been a big fan of potato chips. they're fine, and sometimes sound really good, but lately they sound AMAZING. i've even licked the salt off of some. totally gross, but the salt tastes so good. i would imagine the fat i consumed as a result of licking them is not good, but man alive, that salt is so good! i've been fairly satisfied by just salting the cottage cheese, but i know that added salt right now is doing no favors for my blood pressure. my blood pressure prior to surgery was great, but i was also on high doses of two different diuretics for pretty severe pitting edema in my legs. apparently going off of the diurectics completely is what made my blood pressure go up, so i need to see my primary care dr to get a prescription for some type of blood pressure medication that won't dehydrate me. unfortunately the wait for an appt is about three weeks, so i just have to wait...
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i go to the soft/chopped foods stage on wednesday. i'm nervous about throwing up or that pain from not tolerating a particular food well, but i'll just try and focus on small bites and chewing really well. when i try a new food i intend to just eat a small bite or two and wait a bit to see how i hold up.
right now it's mostly cottage cheese, but i have had mashed potatoes, soups, and pureed beans. i've also had some unsweetened applesauce and pudding, and they all work out well.
my mom suggested buying a bag of frozen potatoes for mashing...they come in little cubes, and i made sure to get one with no added butter, so that i can be in control of the fat content. it's much easier to control the amount i make, with no worries about potatoes going bad. i have a magic bullet, and i just steam a few cubes with a little bit of water, and then puree them. i added a little bit of the unjury chicken soup flavor protein powder, and that worked out ok. i've also eaten them plain, or with some salt.
speaking of salt, i have had MAD salt cravings. my potassium is low, so maybe that's why, but it's ridiculous!! i've never craved salt this much. i would have occasional cravings for salt, but i've never been a big fan of potato chips. they're fine, and sometimes sound really good, but lately they sound AMAZING. i've even licked the salt off of some. totally gross, but the salt tastes so good. i would imagine the fat i consumed as a result of licking them is not good, but man alive, that salt is so good! i've been fairly satisfied by just salting the cottage cheese, but i know that added salt right now is doing no favors for my blood pressure. my blood pressure prior to surgery was great, but i was also on high doses of two different diuretics for pretty severe pitting edema in my legs. apparently going off of the diurectics completely is what made my blood pressure go up, so i need to see my primary care dr to get a prescription for some type of blood pressure medication that won't dehydrate me. unfortunately the wait for an appt is about three weeks, so i just have to wait...
pain in right side
Feb 08, 2009
i keep worrying about this pain i have on my right side. it's right around the incision there...my drain was further to the right of it. it's around the waistline, or slightly above. i keep worrying that i have a hernia or something. i called the nurse practitioner and she prescribed pain medication (vicodin) and said to take it for a week and see how the pain is. it is getting worse!
i'm about three hours away from the hospital, and i don't want to overreact, but it worries me. people kept telling me the worst pain is on the left side, but this is FAR worse than the pain on the left side. maybe the left side pain doesn't seem so bad because this is overwhelming...i don't know.
other than that, the only food i haven't tolerated well was tuna. i ground it up (i'm still on the puree diet), but it still sat there and was pretty painful. it felt like it just wouldn't go down. it felt like what i would imagine a huge air bubble would feel there, and lasted probably 30 - 45 minutes. i'm not keen on trying tuna again, but the nurse practitioner suggested i try tuna again in a week or so. i will, but maybe i'll just eat a very very small bite and then wait a bit and see how it goes. everything else seems to go down ok. my most regular meal is refried beans mixed with some cottage cheese. it may sound disgusting, but is pretty good! the cottage cheese is pretty high in protein, too, so that helps get me nearer the protein goal. i'm not having a whole lot of trouble with getting enough fluid in, now, but still am not meeting my minimum of 75 grams of protein a day. apparently that's ok...the nurse practitioner didn't seem particularly concerned, and just suggested i do the best i can. she said it will get easier as i progress further and can eat a wider variety of foods.
i'm just still concerned about this right side pain! i really don't want to call again and sound crazy. i'm sure the pain medication helps, but it remains pretty painful no matter what i do.
the good news is that i can sleep on my right side again. the left side still burns when i try and sleep that way, but as long as i put a pillow down to kind of prop up my stomach on the right side, and then sleep with a body pillow hugging it to the right side, it works just fine. i sleep better this way. partly i'm sure it is due to the fact that sleeping on my back makes my sleep apnea worse, and also just that i find it more comfortable to sleep on my side. i NEVER normally sleep on my back, so i'm glad i can finally sleep on my side. it's a lot easier to get in and out of bed, now, so i know i'm mostly healing. i'm supposed to try and take it easy for now, until the right side pain gets better, but i worry about not walking so much, too.
i'm probably just worrying too much about things that are perfectly normal, but i think i'll call again tomorrow if it keeps feeling like it is getting worse. probably even if the pain stays this bad, i'll call. i have read up on hernias and blockages and things, and it sounds like a blockage would have other symptoms, such as difficulty eating, and more pain when eating/drinking. i don't have any of that, and i don't have a fever. my incisions all look like they're healing well. i think the gallbladder would be higher than that, but i don't really know.
i guess i'll see how it goes! i probably wouldn't have to rush back down to sacramento. i'd imagine i could get some sort of scan here in town to look for a hernia or whatever, first. the nurse practitoner said it is probably some torn internal sutures or similar, so hopefully that's all it is. i can't imagine going back for another surgery, and apparently that is what is necessary for a hernia.
ugh. ok. i'm going to calm down for tonight and just see what happens tomorrow.
wish me luck!
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i'm about three hours away from the hospital, and i don't want to overreact, but it worries me. people kept telling me the worst pain is on the left side, but this is FAR worse than the pain on the left side. maybe the left side pain doesn't seem so bad because this is overwhelming...i don't know.
other than that, the only food i haven't tolerated well was tuna. i ground it up (i'm still on the puree diet), but it still sat there and was pretty painful. it felt like it just wouldn't go down. it felt like what i would imagine a huge air bubble would feel there, and lasted probably 30 - 45 minutes. i'm not keen on trying tuna again, but the nurse practitioner suggested i try tuna again in a week or so. i will, but maybe i'll just eat a very very small bite and then wait a bit and see how it goes. everything else seems to go down ok. my most regular meal is refried beans mixed with some cottage cheese. it may sound disgusting, but is pretty good! the cottage cheese is pretty high in protein, too, so that helps get me nearer the protein goal. i'm not having a whole lot of trouble with getting enough fluid in, now, but still am not meeting my minimum of 75 grams of protein a day. apparently that's ok...the nurse practitioner didn't seem particularly concerned, and just suggested i do the best i can. she said it will get easier as i progress further and can eat a wider variety of foods.
i'm just still concerned about this right side pain! i really don't want to call again and sound crazy. i'm sure the pain medication helps, but it remains pretty painful no matter what i do.
the good news is that i can sleep on my right side again. the left side still burns when i try and sleep that way, but as long as i put a pillow down to kind of prop up my stomach on the right side, and then sleep with a body pillow hugging it to the right side, it works just fine. i sleep better this way. partly i'm sure it is due to the fact that sleeping on my back makes my sleep apnea worse, and also just that i find it more comfortable to sleep on my side. i NEVER normally sleep on my back, so i'm glad i can finally sleep on my side. it's a lot easier to get in and out of bed, now, so i know i'm mostly healing. i'm supposed to try and take it easy for now, until the right side pain gets better, but i worry about not walking so much, too.
i'm probably just worrying too much about things that are perfectly normal, but i think i'll call again tomorrow if it keeps feeling like it is getting worse. probably even if the pain stays this bad, i'll call. i have read up on hernias and blockages and things, and it sounds like a blockage would have other symptoms, such as difficulty eating, and more pain when eating/drinking. i don't have any of that, and i don't have a fever. my incisions all look like they're healing well. i think the gallbladder would be higher than that, but i don't really know.
i guess i'll see how it goes! i probably wouldn't have to rush back down to sacramento. i'd imagine i could get some sort of scan here in town to look for a hernia or whatever, first. the nurse practitoner said it is probably some torn internal sutures or similar, so hopefully that's all it is. i can't imagine going back for another surgery, and apparently that is what is necessary for a hernia.
ugh. ok. i'm going to calm down for tonight and just see what happens tomorrow.
wish me luck!
Still plugging along...ten days post-op!
Jan 23, 2009
Still having trouble getting the protein in, but some ideas from a couple of friends should help. I've got a little less than a week before I can move on to Stage 3 of the post-op diet...never thought I'd be so excited for pureed foods!!!
It's hard to know how much I can eat/drink at one time safely. I spoke with the nurse practitioner and she said I can do more than the one ounce over fifteen minutes, but I'm afraid to go too far. I may be underestimating the amount I can drink at once. She said just to stop before I am "full", but I'm not sure I'll know. I mean, obviously if I throw up due to consuming too much at once I'll know, but I'm not willing to push it that far to test it out!!!
I've been doing well at getting out and walking every day. I'm trying to do just a bit more each day. I need to remember to bring my cell phone or some other device with the time on it with me...ooh, the ipod! I don't know why I didn't think of that until just now. That way I can add a couple of minutes at a time. I want to be very careful not to go too far too fast, but I don't want to get complacent, either. I've been walking fast enough and far enough to get a little out of breath and get my heart beating at a good rate, but stopping before I'm exhausted. I can't believe how tired I still am!
I also bought some children's tylenol today...actually Target brand children's liquid acetaminophen. Yay Target! I don't know if it will do much, but I had a terrible headache yesterday. I still have some of the liquid Lortab left, but that's overdoing it quite a bit for a headache, so I just endured it. Hopefully this acetaminophen will help with little things like that.
I still have some post-op pain. I don't understand how people DON'T. I don't know if they mean the pain just isn't that bad, or if they mean literally they have NO PAIN after surgery! I've suffered from chronic pain for years and I'd think I could endure a fair amount, but I definitely have pain. It gets so much better each day, though. It's a lot easier to get up out of bed and get up out of chairs than it has been, and again, gets better each day.
The pain is more just a dull soreness throughout my abdomen now, with more of a burning in two spots - one is the area around the incision to the far right, near the drain site, and the other is the one to the far left, where most of my bruising is. The far right area burning/pain is likely due to the torn sutures, and the other is the spot where I had been told would be most painful, so it's no surprise. Again, it's really not that bad at all. I haven't used any of the rx pain medication for days now, so I'm happy about that.
The one thing I'm concerned about right now is that one area of one of my incisions is redder than the others, and looks maybe a bit puffy where the staples go in to the skin. It's the belly button incision, and the outside couple of staples feel more itchy and painful than any other incision spots. They're definitely redder than any other areas. It's not the entire incision, just that end. I'm concerned that it is getting infected. It is right where my waistband hits, so maybe it's just irritation from that. There are no red streaks going out from it, or the "foul-smelling discharge" (yikes!!) that they say to look for, but there is a bit of clear discharge. Ugh. I may be worrying for nothing. If I lived in Sacramento I'd go have it checked out for sure, but who wants to drive three hours for what is probably nothing? Maybe my primary care doc can check it out. She's not a surgeon, but surely she can recognize signs of infection.
Anyway! It's still going okay. Just plugging along, trying to push fluids and protein and nasty-tasting crushed medication as much as possible. When I get frustrated or start feeling borderline depressed (what's THAT about? I should be HAPPY ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THE SURGERY'S DONE!) I just remind myself that at least I'm not in the hospital. At least I'm not having horrible allergic IV pain meds reactions. And at least there's NO CATHETER. :) All really good things!
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It's hard to know how much I can eat/drink at one time safely. I spoke with the nurse practitioner and she said I can do more than the one ounce over fifteen minutes, but I'm afraid to go too far. I may be underestimating the amount I can drink at once. She said just to stop before I am "full", but I'm not sure I'll know. I mean, obviously if I throw up due to consuming too much at once I'll know, but I'm not willing to push it that far to test it out!!!
I've been doing well at getting out and walking every day. I'm trying to do just a bit more each day. I need to remember to bring my cell phone or some other device with the time on it with me...ooh, the ipod! I don't know why I didn't think of that until just now. That way I can add a couple of minutes at a time. I want to be very careful not to go too far too fast, but I don't want to get complacent, either. I've been walking fast enough and far enough to get a little out of breath and get my heart beating at a good rate, but stopping before I'm exhausted. I can't believe how tired I still am!
I also bought some children's tylenol today...actually Target brand children's liquid acetaminophen. Yay Target! I don't know if it will do much, but I had a terrible headache yesterday. I still have some of the liquid Lortab left, but that's overdoing it quite a bit for a headache, so I just endured it. Hopefully this acetaminophen will help with little things like that.
I still have some post-op pain. I don't understand how people DON'T. I don't know if they mean the pain just isn't that bad, or if they mean literally they have NO PAIN after surgery! I've suffered from chronic pain for years and I'd think I could endure a fair amount, but I definitely have pain. It gets so much better each day, though. It's a lot easier to get up out of bed and get up out of chairs than it has been, and again, gets better each day.
The pain is more just a dull soreness throughout my abdomen now, with more of a burning in two spots - one is the area around the incision to the far right, near the drain site, and the other is the one to the far left, where most of my bruising is. The far right area burning/pain is likely due to the torn sutures, and the other is the spot where I had been told would be most painful, so it's no surprise. Again, it's really not that bad at all. I haven't used any of the rx pain medication for days now, so I'm happy about that.
The one thing I'm concerned about right now is that one area of one of my incisions is redder than the others, and looks maybe a bit puffy where the staples go in to the skin. It's the belly button incision, and the outside couple of staples feel more itchy and painful than any other incision spots. They're definitely redder than any other areas. It's not the entire incision, just that end. I'm concerned that it is getting infected. It is right where my waistband hits, so maybe it's just irritation from that. There are no red streaks going out from it, or the "foul-smelling discharge" (yikes!!) that they say to look for, but there is a bit of clear discharge. Ugh. I may be worrying for nothing. If I lived in Sacramento I'd go have it checked out for sure, but who wants to drive three hours for what is probably nothing? Maybe my primary care doc can check it out. She's not a surgeon, but surely she can recognize signs of infection.
Anyway! It's still going okay. Just plugging along, trying to push fluids and protein and nasty-tasting crushed medication as much as possible. When I get frustrated or start feeling borderline depressed (what's THAT about? I should be HAPPY ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THE SURGERY'S DONE!) I just remind myself that at least I'm not in the hospital. At least I'm not having horrible allergic IV pain meds reactions. And at least there's NO CATHETER. :) All really good things!
finally feeling better...
Jan 20, 2009
this morning i woke up feeling better than i have. i had some added pain due to twisting around by accident, and apparently tearing some internal sutures as well as ripping open my drain hole a bit, too. a nurse practitioner at UCD said it's okay, but that it will just be painful, etc. luckily i'm not actually bleeding out or anything! good lord. the blood thinners make me nervous! they also make me bruise so easily...i've still got my entire right inner forearm a solid bruise from all the attempts at getting my blood throughout my hospital stay. man alive. wrist to elbow. biggest bruise i've maybe ever had?
besides that mishap, though, my overall pain is much better. it still doesn't feel GOOD, but it's bearable. the discharge papers said you could use children's tylenol for pain, but i am very skeptical as to how much help that would be. i still have the prescription pain medication, but i want to not use it as much as possible.
i'm heading home tomorrow. i live about three hours from sacramento, so my dad's coming down to pick me up and drive me home. i'm nervous about that much time in the car. i'm hoping the seat belt will fit over me with a pillow in front, too! i would think that will be a lot more comfortable than a tight seat belt across my abdomen.
i've had a really hard time the past couple of days getting down ANY protein. all day today it was just water and some strained miso soup...no tofu or seaweed!!! :( i love miso soup, though. it's a comfort food for me. it just doesn't come anywhere near my protein needs. i'm so burnt out on sweet things. i just ordered five samples of unjury powder. for about $12 i got a chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, chicken soup, and unflavored packet of protein powder including shipping. i also got some nonfat dry milk powder to add to things, but i just couldn't deal with the idea of more heavy cream type soup or pudding or whatever. even thinned way down it's so unappetizing to me right now.
another full week of liquids only. hopefully it'll go by fast!
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besides that mishap, though, my overall pain is much better. it still doesn't feel GOOD, but it's bearable. the discharge papers said you could use children's tylenol for pain, but i am very skeptical as to how much help that would be. i still have the prescription pain medication, but i want to not use it as much as possible.
i'm heading home tomorrow. i live about three hours from sacramento, so my dad's coming down to pick me up and drive me home. i'm nervous about that much time in the car. i'm hoping the seat belt will fit over me with a pillow in front, too! i would think that will be a lot more comfortable than a tight seat belt across my abdomen.
i've had a really hard time the past couple of days getting down ANY protein. all day today it was just water and some strained miso soup...no tofu or seaweed!!! :( i love miso soup, though. it's a comfort food for me. it just doesn't come anywhere near my protein needs. i'm so burnt out on sweet things. i just ordered five samples of unjury powder. for about $12 i got a chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, chicken soup, and unflavored packet of protein powder including shipping. i also got some nonfat dry milk powder to add to things, but i just couldn't deal with the idea of more heavy cream type soup or pudding or whatever. even thinned way down it's so unappetizing to me right now.
another full week of liquids only. hopefully it'll go by fast!
time to start using this...
Jan 16, 2009
i haven't posted anything here yet...i kind of was thinking, who is going to care to read it? but now that i've had surgery, i really really want to read posts by others, especially people i've been in touch with. i also think it will be useful for me to look back and remember what i've gone through, and the road it took to get to where i will be in the future.
in the same vein, today i had my best friend take pictures of my incisions, and my big bloated stomach! i want to remember that. when/if i get urges to eat too much, later on, or do things i shouldn't, i want to have thos pictures to look back as a stark reminder of what i went through, and how i WILL get better and i WON'T give in to stupid temporary urges. that this road i've started on is going to lead to a better place and how no temporary pleasure i may think i'll get from 'breaking the rules' is going to be worth losing my way.
i'm also going to post a good deal of an email i just sent to a friend, as i think it's a good summary of what has gone on with me the past several days, since surgery:
I had my surgery on Tuesday, 1/13. I got to leave the hospital last night. I had no surgical complications, just some recovery issues. My blood oxygen saturation level was staying really low, so they were concerned about that. The anesthesia wore off mostly, but it still was depressing my respiratory system so I wasn't breathing well. I also somehow got extremely dehydrated - they said I was "bone dry" during surgery, and so they were pushing fluids and potassium like crazy. I ended up so swelled up from the tons of fluids they gave me through the IV that my medical bracelet thing was super tight and they ended up not being able to even find veins to take blood after the first day, so there was a lot of "blind sticks", as they called them. and resulting bruising. they did the best they could, though...i trust in that.
No fun!
I also turned out to be horribly allergic to both Morphine and Dilottid (I don't know if that's how you spell it), which gave me the most intensely itchy full body rash. They had to take me off IV pain meds so that wasn't fun. The itchiness was worse, but I had no idea how much the IV pain meds were helping until I didn't have them anymore!
I'm doing okay, now. No nausea or anything yet. I started some of my protein shake today, and I'm doing chicken broth, fruit punch crystal light (my favorite so I hope I don't get sick of it!) and sugar free dark chocolate pudding thinned down with some fat free milk.
I haven't taken any diabetes meds since surgery. My blood sugar hasn't been over 140. I hope it stays that way.
My arms have been EXTREMELY sore, and I'm guessing it's from the air bubbles they said that you can get in your shoulders...but that's getting better, too.
It's funny...the pain sometimes is so much less than I would have thought, and then sometimes I'll twist a bit or something and it will hurt so bad suddenly. I've been walking a lot though, and I am sure it helps.
i hope it gets a little better each day. i did have some thoughts of 'what in the hell did i just do?' after the surgery, and every so often i've wondered if it will keep getting better. then i snap out of it and know i'll be fine, and i'll be GREAT.
i know i can do this. i KNOW i can.
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in the same vein, today i had my best friend take pictures of my incisions, and my big bloated stomach! i want to remember that. when/if i get urges to eat too much, later on, or do things i shouldn't, i want to have thos pictures to look back as a stark reminder of what i went through, and how i WILL get better and i WON'T give in to stupid temporary urges. that this road i've started on is going to lead to a better place and how no temporary pleasure i may think i'll get from 'breaking the rules' is going to be worth losing my way.
i'm also going to post a good deal of an email i just sent to a friend, as i think it's a good summary of what has gone on with me the past several days, since surgery:
I had my surgery on Tuesday, 1/13. I got to leave the hospital last night. I had no surgical complications, just some recovery issues. My blood oxygen saturation level was staying really low, so they were concerned about that. The anesthesia wore off mostly, but it still was depressing my respiratory system so I wasn't breathing well. I also somehow got extremely dehydrated - they said I was "bone dry" during surgery, and so they were pushing fluids and potassium like crazy. I ended up so swelled up from the tons of fluids they gave me through the IV that my medical bracelet thing was super tight and they ended up not being able to even find veins to take blood after the first day, so there was a lot of "blind sticks", as they called them. and resulting bruising. they did the best they could, though...i trust in that.
No fun!
I also turned out to be horribly allergic to both Morphine and Dilottid (I don't know if that's how you spell it), which gave me the most intensely itchy full body rash. They had to take me off IV pain meds so that wasn't fun. The itchiness was worse, but I had no idea how much the IV pain meds were helping until I didn't have them anymore!
I'm doing okay, now. No nausea or anything yet. I started some of my protein shake today, and I'm doing chicken broth, fruit punch crystal light (my favorite so I hope I don't get sick of it!) and sugar free dark chocolate pudding thinned down with some fat free milk.
I haven't taken any diabetes meds since surgery. My blood sugar hasn't been over 140. I hope it stays that way.
My arms have been EXTREMELY sore, and I'm guessing it's from the air bubbles they said that you can get in your shoulders...but that's getting better, too.
It's funny...the pain sometimes is so much less than I would have thought, and then sometimes I'll twist a bit or something and it will hurt so bad suddenly. I've been walking a lot though, and I am sure it helps.
i hope it gets a little better each day. i did have some thoughts of 'what in the hell did i just do?' after the surgery, and every so often i've wondered if it will keep getting better. then i snap out of it and know i'll be fine, and i'll be GREAT.
i know i can do this. i KNOW i can.
About Me
Redding, CA
Location
31.1
BMI
Surgery
01/13/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 19, 2003
Member Since
