ra2e85

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I'm beginning this journey.  It started in October with me unsure how I felt about it.  Two months in and I know I have made the right decision.  I have lost 20lbs on the Dr. supervised diet.  I haven't been exercising yet because my body hurt too much to even think about exercising before but I think I will begin to exercise today.  I have noticed some sagging.  Better to work REALLY hard and prevent THAT!  My husband is doing this with me.  He got me some awesome books for Christmas which is all about making healthy food choices and why choosing this food over that one is important.  Let's face it, at 41, having lived my early adulthood in service in CA, I know what I should eat but I just didn't want to.  I knew broccoli is better for me to eat than ice cream but the ice cream tastes soooo much better!  This book, Skinny Bitch, is really good.  It presents a logical argument and logical reasons of why I need to choose the broccoli.  I find I am really enjoying it!

Ok so I'm starting on this WLS journey and I really am not sure how I feel about it.  On the one hand, I really want to be the size I was when I was in the military again.  I felt sooo very good and I ran 5 miles every day.  At the same time, I remember the pain of the shin splints.  I remember never eating a sweet.  I remember never allowing my kids to have sweets.  At the time it really did not feel like a sacrifice because I never wanted to be fat again and I would do anything to not be fat again.  Over the years I have slowly packed on the pounds because I began eating anything I wanted sweets included.  Now my body is extremely sugar sensitive.  I worry about exercising now because of the pain in my knees and back.  I worry about never having anything sweet again as long as I live.  But I also worry about type 2 diabetes, having to use a walker to help me get around, and never being able to play with a future grandchild.  Is wls worth it?  At this point, I have to say yes because I'm way too young to be falling apart.  That being said, it doesn't make the fear any less.  What it does make me wonder about is exactly WHAT am I afraid of?