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Well, my previous October 2008 surgery date came and went.  I didn't have the deductible amount so I had to put it off.  Wow, was that the most depressing thing EVER.  Thankfully I got it together and was able to reschedule my surgery date for April 13, 2009.  I am now a few weeks post band and am excited beyond belief. But, I have 3 weeks till my first fill and I'm trying not to gain anything.  I have no restriction, just like most of the stories that I have heard. :-)   I'm ravenous. Like, starving all the time.  Thank goodness for diet pills.    My current weight is down from 223 lbs originally and post-op 195 to 190 lbs.   Happy to be back in here seeing how everyone is doing!

*Brandy

I would eat SLUDGE 3 times a day if my surgeon told me I'd lose more weight ... THIS IS NOT A GAME PEOPLE!! 

These stories about poeple 'eating around' the band are crazy.

THIS IS ONCE IN A LIFETIME !!

I can speak for myself when I say that giving up food is not going to kill me ... I've eaten plenty of junk in my life. lol.  I can sacrifice pie & ice cream to get into some designer jeans. LoL... no thought required.

Man I'm going to hit this thing so hard when I get done with surgery. I'm going to keep exercising everyday and eating right and I'm going to work this band for all that it's worth....

You know the suregon said that my 'ideal' weight is 160 lbs, and that avergae weight for my size is 131 lbs.  He says that most younger patients that lose alot of weight pre-op tend to exceed the weight lose goal & that he expects that I will !! Wow...that makes me feel good.  And he is so right, I'm going to make it happen.   I was 160 lbs in middle school I think.  Gosh the things that we all went through being big our whole lives. 

It's been so surreal knowing that I'm going to have this amazing opportunity to get thin and healthy... again, I'm so blessed. 

I hope I dont look crazy when Im thin.. . you know like Star Jones, like a bobble head doll with a stick body.. LoL.

Man I'm going to run around half butt-naked when I get skinny.  It's probably good to get that out of your system early on, right?

What if I get skinny and I still feel like crap inside??? That's my biggest fear.   But then I have to remind myself that God must be puting this into my life as tool to make me better...inside and out.

I couldn't sleep a few weeks back and went out to watch TV about 2 am on my couch.  I flipped it to Joel Osteen (he's a preacher in case you don't know) and he said some thing that really touched me.

"God  did not create you to 'just get by' in life ... he meant for you to be 'exceptional' ". 


 

*WARNING - THIS ENTRY IS NOT GRAMATICALLY CORRECT, IT WILL RAMBLE ON FOR A WHILE* Hi ladies.  I stopped posting a while back when I first started this process.  I had the feeling that I was getting my hopes up and that really, the doctors were just letting me go through the motions, knowing that I probably wouldn't qualify.  What a freaking pessimistic I am.  So, just for a little update on what's been going on; I had my appointments with the dietitian the last 2 months, I've seen her 3 times.  She really stressed the pre-op weight that needs to be lost.  It's only 5 pounds, but she said that they HAVE and will decline you for 'non-compliance'.  So she when she gave me my binder with the pre-op suggested diet I took I took it pretty seriously.  I thought, I am already under the %40 BMI standard (at %37.4), I only have asthma and some possible sleep apnea... hmmmm...I'm not sick enough. SO probably, I'm going to have to hit this diet like gang-busters and at least show them that I can 'comply' with the diet. LoL. It hasn't been that hard.  When you think that it's you're only shot at a chance to change you life completely, well you just freaking do it, right?  I'm so darn lucky to have a gym at my job, with actual trainers that are there everyday for free.  I've been going to the gym 5-7 days a week religiously for the last 3 months, eating right and running on diet pills and PURE DESPERATION. LoL.  God, I'm word today, sorry guys. The feeling are overwhelming me today.  And I completely got off track.  So, my last step in the process was to start the group classes, which I started this last Monday.  The first thing that they had all of us do was weight in, in private, with Erin, the wonderful dietitian that I was talking about before.  I weighed 207 pounds.  When I first joined you ladies on this site, I was at my usual 237.  That's after yo-yo dieting like crazy because I had gained a huge amount of weight before Christmas 07 and weighed 250 pounds, my heaviest.  I lost my pre-op weight and then some.  I feel like excersize is a part of my new life and I'm actually enjoying the way it feels!  Who would've ever thought that I'd be jogging on a treadmill or lifting free-weights like those skinny whores in their little spandex outfits, barely breaking a sweat? Haahaa. Sorry to be rude but this a breakthrough, a huge accomplishment that I know you all of you ladies can relate to.  Anyways, everyone in my group class of about 15 people had a surgery date except for me and one other lady who said that she was figthing with her insurance company.   God, that was like another horribly discouraging moment.  We went around the table to 'talk about ourselves' one by one and when it cam to my turn it hit me how emotionally drained that I was. Hoping and praying everyday for years that I would get lucky, lucky enough to have something given to me for once in my life.  To not have to fight this weight for the rest of my life, something to help me overcome it.  I said 'Hi, my name is Brandy and I don't have a surgery date yet but I am looking forward to hopefully getting it soon..*sniffle*..umm, I just want to say that you all are so lucky and that we are so blessed to get this amazing chance to change our lives...*watery eye*  *sniffle*... your lives and hopefully mine too are going to change forever and we will never have to suffer with this... *one tear falling*...this struggle to be healthy ...*another tear falling*..and I am just excited and happy to be here with you all. *wiping my eye*.  Everyone was looking at me and I didn't care, that's how I felt and it felt so good to say what was in my heart.  relieved.  everyone else's introduction consisted of 'My name is 'blank' I'm from 'blank' and I am having the gastric bypass/lap band. Haahaa. i was the only one feeling emotional about all of this?!!? How could that be?! Oh girls, it was really something to behold, you would've probably laughed at me. haha.  Well, yesterday I was in the car with my girlfriend from work, heading to a team function where we going to play 'Lazer Tag', it was about 4pm.  I got a call from my case worker, Rosemary at Sacred Heart, the one that had told me 3 months ago that I was 'under weight' for my insurance requirements but that she would 'give it a try'.  I hate phone calls that you know are going to be bad news, but half the time you're just freaking ready for a resolution either way, you know? So she starts in 'Hello Brandy, how are you..blah blah blah ...*me feeling depressed already, god I hate always being disappointed in my life!!  Why can't good things happen to me like they do for all those ungrateful people that dont appreciate shit in their life!?!? Fuck* ... we got your approval today'.  *the world stops turning for a minute*. What?!?! Me?? Seriously Rosemary?  Sobbing ensues for a few minutes, and she cuts in, 'I'm so happy for you and I'll need to get you in to the surgeon for a preop appointment this coming Tuesday, okay? Also, we may be able to get you in sooner than the 15th, so I hope that that is alright'.  Okay Rosemary, thank you so much, I'll talk to you on Monday morning. * SOBBBBBBB*! My friend Sara realized what was going on and she started freaking out too.  Unreal. I have a surgery date.  One day soon I am going to wake up to a whole new world opening up right before me. Man, I can't believe this is happening to me, Miss permanently down on her luck, ass-out, had to hustle for everything that I've ever had in my life.   I'm going to get the change to change my life.  ME! ME! It's happening to me!  What an amazing blessing in my life.  God thank you for all of my friends who kept positivity in their hearts when I never did, and for me Granny that I KNOW was praying for me every day that something like this would happen for me.  Thank you for making me feel like I am worthy of this opportunity.  I really thought that they were just humoring me.  MY LIFE BEGINS NOW. Let's go ladies. I look forward to every day that is coming after today.  I couldn't even sleep last night, my mind was racing, my heart was beating.. I was imagining all of the things that I have to look forward to ... and I stayed up all night thinking about it. And here I am. AHAHAHHHAHAH!!!!  I can't even process this yet.

Yesterday I completed my appointments with the psychologist and the dietician.  The psych test was 300 questions long and the questions were so crazy. I felt bad that I answered 'very true' to so many of them.  I know that they want u to be honest, but I don't want them to deny me because of how crazy that I am, LOL.   Question #12  "Your cravings are uncontrolable and you will typically eat until you are stuffed and then you regret it".  Answer "Very True". Question #228 "People do not know how much that you suffer". Answer "Very True". Question #89 "Bad things keep happening to you and you feel like there is no end to it". Answer "Very True". Question #52 "You have a hard time relating to others". Answer "Mostly True". 
Question #66 "You have thought about how people would feel if you died". Answer "Not True".  I can't be any more crazy than any other fat chick. LOL.  The dietician was very helpful, she cleared up alot of things about the post op diet.  Basically do not snack, eat only at your 3 meals, do not drink liquids with meals, no carbonated liquids and chew bites 30 times.  She also gave me the meal plan for the next 2 or 3 months, so I can get into the habit of eating small portions, and also lose that 5 pounds of pre-op wieght that the surgeon is requiring.  Basically a low-carb, low-fat diet. I can do that! I'm going to try to lose a few pounds by the time I see her next, in 4 weeks.  She told not to fudge the diet, because Aetna has denied the surgery for people in the past who have not lost any weight on the pre-op diet..."non-compliance".  That surprised me & lit a fire under my behind!  haha.   I am still very scared about insurance approving me, but she says that it shouldn't be a problem. I'm glad someone thinks so!
 She also said the estimated surgery date would probably be late august or early september.  I think the hospital case worker said that my case would go to review this week.  I'm so nervous that I don't know what to do with myself.

It has been a few weeks since I was online at the forums.  I started to get down about my insurance possibly denying me because of a few pounds that I recently lost on a crash diet.  I've been down, but I do have my dietician and psych appointments to look forward to, haahaa.  They went ahead and scheduled all the pre-requisit lap band stuff.  I'm supposed to be on the pre-op diet now, but haven't been following it.  Whats the point!??! Im already 10-15 pounds too light, according to my BMI (%37.5).. so while the h*ll am I going to try to lose weight? GAG.  Yeah I'll lose the pre-op 5 pounds as soon as I have a surgery date, you feel me?!?! haha.  I've got to laugh at this, it's the only thing that is keeping me from getting so down that I want to give up on it, altogether.  My dietician & psych eval are tommorrow 06/02/08. Wish me luck everybody.

Okay, so I was naive thinking that I would get my surgery scheduled on the first day that I saw the surgeon.  Not only that, I didn't think that the 10 pounds that I had lost taking diet pills for the last 3 months put me under the %40 BMI requirement, at %37.5  Isn't that a b*tch!!  I am frustrated. My case worker says that we will get a letter from my primary care doc with a weight history that will be more accurate as to my normal weight.  They say they can work with the insurance company.  In the mean time they scheduled me for the psychiatric evaluation and dietician appointments.  Also started me on the 90-day pre-op diet plan and support group schedule.  My hospital case worker seems cheerful but not necessarily optimistic.  All I can do is pray about it and believe that if it's meant to be, than it will be.  If not, I will find a way to be okay with it.  I never thought I would too SMALL.  Unbelievable.  First dietician appointment is in the next couple weeks I think.

I have fantasized about weight loss surgery for YEARS.   Financially, there was no way that I could even consider it.  I recently got a wonderful job that has benefits that cover WLS.  Now that the surgery could be a reality for me, I want to make sure that I am as informed as possible on the surgery options.  I am looking forward to hearing everyone's stories good and bad!  I want to know what I can really achieve with the band.