Mercedes R.

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I hit my minus -50 mark 2 days ago. I am now 230. My pants are a little big on me but I don't notice too many changes beyond that.

I might have to go in for a port revision surgery as they tell me my port is tilted. It hurts like a bitch sometimes.

Today was supposed to be my first day back at work, but with "issues" yesterday that left me running to the bathroom every 5 minutes (i think this is because danactive went down so well, so it's all i was having yesterday...) and the fact that I wanted to DIE after a 5 minute walk around the block, I decided to call in today. I know it's because the restriction is too much, the 3 cc that they put in combined with the inflamation of my pouch post surgery is just causing me a world of pain and discomfort. I think I may try to drive up there today and get an unfill. I can't miss anymore work and I am MISERABLE. Also the fact of sticking a needle into the port site, which is still healing reeeaaaallly makes me naseas *shivers*

This post may be TMI for some, so if reading about bodily functions in detail grosses you out, you may wanna skip day 4

So the nasea was still pretty bad last night. I could tell some of it was gas that had migrated into my digestive tract but was being blocked by something. The sudden onset of mild intermittet diarriah made it impossible for me to take the anti nasua suppositories. So In my half asleep 1 am state I thought taking a full dose of milk of magnesia would surely help everything pass. Well.....it helped a bit with the nasea but now I am running to the bathroom every five minutes for what I like to call "poo pee". I'm not really having cramps but it's like there is a thumderstorm in my gut. I took some pepto in hopes to counteract the dever effects of the milk of magnesia. My only fear is of getting dehydrated or not making it to the bathroom in time.

I called my dr's office last night to tell them about the severe nasea and they said they would page the dr and to call back if he didnt call me in 15 mins. 15 mins passed with nothing. 3 pages and 45 minutes later he finally called me back. He sounded inconvenienced, like I had just woken him up...at 3 in the afternoon. His suggestion, since it was sunday, was go to the ER...or wait until today to get xrays. I opted for waiting till today. I called the "backline" number her gave me and got an answering machine. I left my name/b-day and phone number and stated that I needed an xray set up for here in town. Now I am just waiting for a call back.

So I have been trying to be strong throuought all of this. I don't have anyone here 24/7, which I'm finding is a huge mistake. Yesterday I spend most of my day sleeping, dry heaving and crying. It was horrible. My neighbor went and got the anti nasea meds for me which I took and seem to help a little as long as I dont try to intake anything. Well Not intaking anything makes me feel worse, even sips of water at this point just knock me out.

On the TMI side of things, I finally poo'ed yesterday, which means I managed t get down wnough water for my body to try to start working again.

I am trying to re-introcude things that will give me nutrients, like the imetabolic shakes i was on prior to surery. They have 26g of protein plus various other things but i have taken 2 sips and i I sit here i am starting to feel woozy again.

Man this really sucks...

So I am post op and not feeling well at all. I totally underestimated the pain of this surgery. I thought it would be similar to the gall bladder surgery I had 2 years ago but it's much much worse. I am regretting not having anyone here to help me. Simply leaning forward to grab something off the table 1 foot away is a chore seeing as the port is sewn into my ab muscles.

Then today severe nasea hit me and hasn't gone away. I threw up my pain meds this morning and decided to stick with tylenol in pill form. I managed to get down a few sips of tomato soup but don't want to try beyond that. I am exhausted and weak and have resigned myself to just laying down most of the day and only getting up when the dog needs to be let out or someone calls.It seems talking makes it worse, I think it's related to breathing. I can control my breathes when i am focusing on them but when i am talking it just makes me sick.

I hit 257! Yeah!

So I went to volunteer in Reno for a pet adoption event. 2 minutes into being there a lady approaches me with a giant delicious looking tray of cupcakes and offered me one. I did that "uhhh...hmmm....noooooo, i shouldnt..." Then wandered aimlessly away all sad that I didn't get to partake in the deliciousness.

I am supposed to be on a veggie/shake diet until my sugery date but I was worried about exhaustion (as these events always wear me out) and the unavailablility of healthy food choices so I bought some 150 calorie protein bars. By the time the event was over I was ready to crash...and I was craving a giant cheesebuger. Instead I ate a salad, had a shake and filled my giant gallon bottle of water up and am chugging it to fill my tummy and replenish all the water I lost in the heat today.

In other news I started this process in the beginning of March weighing 280lbs and this morning the scale was at 259! Yeah! I'm back in the 250's! My wall that I have not been able to break through since before I can remember is 250. I hit 250 like 8 months ago when on the atkins diet and could never lose more than that so I gave up, ate like the world was ending, gained 30lbs and then ended up where I was in march. I REALLY want to get back down to 250 before surgery, that way all post op weight is thinner than I have been in a long time. But 9lbs in 6 days is kind of unrealistic.

So after what seemed like an eternity I am finally scheduled for surgery. They said insurance would take 2-4 weeks but they only took a week to approve me, then Western Bariatric took a week to contact me...after I contacted them...AFTER I called the insurance company only to find out i had been approved the week before hand.

Ugh, these people are so flakey, I will be happy to have this past me and will only have to deal with them for fills. I know they deal with hundreds a people a day but a patient shouldn't feel like they are #99 on a list and are lucky to have gotten a call back at all.

My boyfriend will be MIA prior to and post op as he will be at a fire training course in CA. 3 years and a life changing thing and he is still absent from my life...I am worried about our future.

Anyways, excited to finally have a date! I have lost almost 20lbs on the pre op diet of 1200 calories a day...I am always starving though. I can't wait to to not have this hunger anymore. 

 All the appointments and paperwork I needed is complete. Doctor's note, psych eval and dietician. I started my liquid diet on monday, have lost 7lbs so far! 6 more to go to reach 10% but I figure I will lose a little more, cause you never know what the clinic scale will show at different times and wearing clothes. 

The only thing left is mt RMR, H-Pylori test and the steps to success class which are all on the 12th, thats when they will also submit my insurance. Then they say 2-4 weeks to hear back about approval!

 I am worried about money. When I went to the seminar, that told me out of pocket costs to get this done would be about $3000 with my insurance. What they didnt mention is the $300 for the psych eval, $129 for the dietician, $290 for the class, $60 for the other class and then they MAKE you go on a liquid diet and make you use the protein shakes THEY developed which is an extra $200 bucks. 

I had $3000 to do this, when i got my tax return it was like a light through the clouds...I thought i could finally do this, and now the costs are racking up and it may cause me rent money. I am angry and it now feels all gimmicky and geared towards getting as much money as they can from me.