Pam C.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

WEll, I start every entry with how bad I am about keeping up, and honestly I don't know haow some of these people here at OH do this so regularly!  It's 11 pm and I'm waiting for the fire to go out in the fire place so I figured I would log in for some catch up!  Well, last I left off I bought a pair of size 18 levi's that took forever to find...I took those back and went to Old Navy and bought 2 pair of size 16 jeans that fit even better!! Woohoo! Old Navy is my new favorite store and they were nice enough to give me a credit card!  BIG MISTAKE!   So, needless to say my limited wardrobe came from Old navy cause the clothes there fit and I look good!!!  My husband returned from Iraq and we hit the ground running!  He came home in time to take Zoe trick or treating and then next thing I knew it was Thanksgiving and we went to NJ.  We spent Thanksgiving Day at the Macy's parade and ate in China town, well everyone else did, I can no longer eat chinese, I had soup.  A very non-traditional turkey day but it was so fun!  The parade was awesome.  It was aslo my 20 year HS reunion, boy did  I have everyone fooled.  Everyone kept saying how I hadn't changed since HS, well none of them knew I had gotten do big and had just been through such a major tranformation!!  Let's just say we kept it a secret and, my husband and I had to laugh, cause he kept saying I was literally the only good looking woman there!  Some of those girls from HS that were "the" girsl back then--were ugly now.  Not fat, but no longer pretty.  It was strange, and then there were the few that I think looked the same not ugly never ugly, but not drop dead gorgeous either..hmm it was very weird to be their becasue I really do not keep in touch with any one from HIgh school days.  oh well then it was Christmas and then my husband was gone again. And here I am again.  I had several milestones over the past two months, I reached under 200lbs.  and then I lost 100 lbs.!!! Hip HIp Hooray for me, and loser that I am didn't share with my friends at OH, if I still have any!  That's my next big thing, to send messages to everyone of them!! and a couple of others I miss chatting with!  Need to get some pictures, I feel great, look pretty good, have my old self esteem back, or some of it.  Now if I could just get warm!!! ( I've started taking my iron again maybe it'll help)  Now big revelations again this time but I'm still a work in progress!!

Can't believe it myself, but I bought a pair of LEVI's off the rack, no stretch and not in the plus size department!!  It only took 25 stores and 175 pairs of jeans but I finally found a pair that fits!!! WAAAAHOOOO!  and I look GOOOOOOD too!  That's me doin' the happy dance now that the search is finally over!!

I just finished posting my Hawaii pictures, and I am smaller now than before WLS and I've come along way,and I feel good and I usually feel like I'm looking really great...so why is it when I look at pictures of myself I still think look at that fat B@#$h?  I guess it's a mental thing....

Well, I'm not really good at this whole blogging thing but I'm determined to do better.  I'll be at four months post op this week and it'a amazing to me how much I've changed.  I've lost 87 pounds that's an elementary school student --GONE!  I emptied my closets a couple of weeks ago, my friends daughter is a big girl she bought most of my clothes, and the rest went to consignment.  The only things in my closet are my scrubs, some baggy sweats and T's (size doesn't matter for lounging at home), my clothes from my recent Hawaii trip (details to follow), 2 pair of jeans that are too big and a stack of long sleeve shirts that are big but I kept anyway cause I can't go naked and I'm not a millionaire.  So I went shopping for one single pair of jeans--what a dilemma.  I have come to the conclusion that no matter what size a person is jean shopping just plain old sucks!!  So, needless to say no new jeans for me.  I'll try again some other day when I'm not just over it!  

Last week I went to Hawaii, to Ohau (sp?) it was so much fun.  I went with work to a convention and my boss paid for everything but shopping!  ( My bosses are very generous).  Well, if I hadn't lost weight the flight would have truly been torture, those seats are so small and there is no leg room!  I have flown before but it was years ago when I was thin so I'd not experienced flying as a fat girl.  We went on a fun cruise and snorkling trip, it was a huge boat with a slide off the back into the ocean, and you could jump off the side 20ft into 40ft of water!!  Well, at 287 lbs I probably wouldn't have gone into the ocean, well I slide down that slide and I jumped the twenty feet!!  (See Pictures)  I can't believe I did it and swimming against the current just about killed me but I felt great!!! I looked good and was confident on the trip and really had a good time!  Now my eating...I really pushed my limits.  I was careful with my food choices but I did splurge a little I tasted desserts, and I drank those fruity frozen alcohol filled drinks with umbrellas and pineapple.  I've read the stories here on OH and I was really afraid, but I've made so many changes and it's been easy but the drinking was hard in a social situation.  I caught a buzz, but I guess the drinks being frozen and somewhat diluted I did not dump, but I did dehydrate easy(hangover).  I ate some fried things I shouldn't have and probably a few other tasty things that should have been taboo, but nothing made me sick!!  I'm lucky I could have gotten really sick and I know that, and I also know that this experience has opened a very dangerous door for me.  Now that I'm home again, I'm getting back on track, I've stalled this week I think, I can never tell what I'm doing. Monday we start back at the Y at lunch and 3 evenings.  

Well for someone who doesn't do this I'm on a roll.  Well, Jeff left Baghdad yesterday and is at Camp Victory he should fly home to the US next week, he says he'll be home in time to take Zoe out for Halloween,Can't wait!!!

Well, Zoe is getting restless and is messing w/the computer, I'll come up with some deeper thoughts next time. 

 Well tomorrow is my 3 month anniversary for  my surgery, and I really need some pictures, I have none!!!!  But sad to say I don't really have alot of friends here.  I know how pathetic am I?  So, I'll see who I can possibly find to snap some pictures....I really need to record how I look, there is already such a difference.

With Jeff gone I'm feeling pretty alone. He calls everyday from Iraq but I can't call him, I'm not used to that.  Well, maybe a good nights sleep will cheer me up.